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Apr 11, 2012 07:14 AM justagirl wrote:
Thank you for responding to my concern and I really do appreciate you making the effort and taking the time to see if barbe responds to a 'home' email. I didn't try to send her one through here but just realized today in reading that her intelligent witty posts were 'missing'.
After not hearing from our Mary for so long, and then Mary posting of her status change was devestating, as was her death. She died on my two year cancer-versary of finding out I had breast cancer, so I sunk to a low that I haven't been at since my initial diagnosis.
Please, please, please barbe be okay and get those fingers of your flying on the keyboard!
Stanzie, I know you are a smart, kind, caring, knowledgeable and loving parent. No, it's not always easy to be a parent and you may think if there was two parents in the house it would be easier, but that is not always the case. I have found with my 18 year old son that when he was about 16, which was when I was diagnosed, it seemed like all of a sudden to him I became the dumbest woman walking on the earth and could do no right. It hurt because I cared and he was unhappy and I was unhappy because he was unhappy. I would send him off to school and my husband would leave and I would crawl back into bed and actually pull the covers over my head and stay there until about 2 hours before son and husband were due to come home and then race around, take a shower, make the bed, do housework, start dinner, bake and act like everything was normal. Ha, I fooled them but it took a toll on me. It took me almost two years to tell my husband of 29 years how I wish he had once put his arms around me for comfort through all of this or that I needed his help and didn't he see it....and his response was all I had to do was ask. What, I have to ask for a hug when I'm upset - well, that doesn't count to me.
Anyway, teenagers think we parents are dumb, invasive and trying to wreck their lives. I wish I had taken a stronger stand and realized no matter what I did or didn't do, my son was just not going to be happy with me or himself.
You might seriously think of downsizing your home if you can Stanzie, for something more manageable and simplified, like no pool to maintain and a smaller yard. Try and look for 5 minute pockets in your day to sit and relax.
And neutering your dog isn't mean - it's kind. Also, you could get someone to build you a simple dog run outside that you could put the dog in when you need to do things and to decrease the damage done to your home.
barbe - where are you?
Debbie: When will I go to sleep at night and not dwell on breast cancer?
Diagnosis: 3/16/2010, IDC, 1cm, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-