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All Topics → Forum: Relationships, Emotional Crises, Anxiety, and Depression → Topic: Great saying about depression

Topic: Great saying about depression

Forum: Relationships, Emotional Crises, Anxiety, and Depression — Meet and support others who are affected by these issues around breast cancer fears, diagnosis and treatment.

Posted on: Oct 26, 2010 04:31 PM

Joined: Oct 2010 Posts: 83

Dawnsm wrote:

My husband came to me one day and had found a quote on depression that really hit home for me, and I hope it helps all of you.

"Depression is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign you've been strong for too long."

Since this is a large forum, many of you may already have heard this. Although I'm still on the path out of depression, the above quote makes me somehow feel more "normal" and gives me strength. I hope it helps all of you, too.

Diagnosis: 5/10/2010, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

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cmbear Orlando, Fl Joined: Jul 2010 Posts: 1,085

Jun 14, 2012 08:05 PM cmbear wrote:

just a quick pop in. i have been reading but find it hard to type much on my iphone. Hopeful, I am SOOOO happy for you, one less stone in your pocket to weigh you down. Kate, have fun this weekend, take a book, sit in the corner, who says YOU have to socialize?Do what feels best for you.

Thank y'all so much for your kind thoughts in the last week. As much as looked forward to this surgery, I am now wondering. . . now I just want to get better. Healing is not my strong point. And I wish I had asked for a home care nurse cuz the boys just arent cutting it. Oh, all I want to do is wash my hair in my own shower. Maybe next week.

Claire
Dx 6/11/2010, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IIIb, Grade 3, ER+, HER2-

MinusTwo Houston, TX Joined: Apr 2011 Posts: 758

Jun 14, 2012 09:55 PM MinusTwo wrote:

Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book was my savior when I was first diagnosed. That was long before I discovered BCO. I'm sorry to hear about her new troubles.

DiDel Baltimore, MD Joined: May 2010 Posts: 1,275

Jun 14, 2012 10:35 PM DiDel wrote:

Hopeful very sweet post. Kate..sometimes i will dread the getting ready more than the going out but 90%I of the time once I am out..and have my first glass if wine I let loose and end up having fun..and glad i pushed myself to get out. It will be good for you to laugh some and have some quality time with your hubby. I went shopping today and found lots if great stuff at Macys ..includin some really cute maxi dresses. Which I love cause they are so comfy and hide my muffin top and pastey white legs.

Claire glad to hear from you...wish I lived close. Id be your nurse/helper

I am sad to hear about Dr Love too..her book saved me too. I actually just passed it on to my friend who was just diagnosed.

So my friend got her MRI results and all things considered it was good news. Only 1tumor Er/pr+ her2 - grade 2. She will have lumpectomy provided she's BRCA negative. She is if eastern european jewish decent and her mother and grandmother died of BC both diagnosed before 40. I feel for her cause she is so scared and has to wait till her mystery lung issue resolves so she gets cleared for surgery. We hope that happens in the next 3couple weeks. I told her about you ladies so i hope she visits BCO.

Ok off to bed early tonight. Long day tomorrow for work.

Good night all
Diane

Dx 11/12/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage II, Grade 2, 0/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

3jaysmom hollywood, fl Joined: Apr 2010 Posts: 4,122

Jun 14, 2012 11:03 PM 3jaysmom wrote:

hi gals: i've been in "marybe land " for the past week, so not here that much.. she's gone home now, and boy, i hate my life here, without someone who "gets it" here!!i'm so glad you guys are here, to "log in" to talk to!!!

Kate, the maxi dreses are all the rage this summer, but don't let people talk you out of your sleeves.. i don't wear them at the pool; no need to, as long as i stay in the water, when i get hot, and do arm circles, or sidestroke , for my arms.. its' actually really good for le. helps with the heaviness.. and i do wear a wrap cover up, cause i'm fat.. no way around that, cause its true. i was overweight when the journey started, so the extra 25 i gained with the hypo hasn't helped that situation!!!

i just hope you can relax , i hope your friends are entertaining enough.. i always tell people i don't want to talk about my cancer, since i haven't seen them for so long...

and, then, if i have a friend that i feel close to; i talk to them privately, if they're really interested.

by nature, im an extrovert.. (ya think?) but i really have a hard time with either end conversations.. i can't handle "small talk" for too long, and i can't do "tell me your deep dark secrets" for too long, either.. i excuse myself to the bathroom, cause its' believable.. i have a cold bottle of water with me at all times. i just say "darn water.. i'll be back" and then, give it enough time so the subjects chaNGED WHEN I GET BACK..

THE IMP THING IS, ENJOY YOURSELF AT THE RESORT..sorry for the caps.. i just looked up!!!

and, i have black sleeves, opera length, like i ordered them, and i wear them at night all the time.. not so noticeable. and if people ask, and know i've had cancer, i tell them swelling from the surgery.. if they don't its still swelling, from the heat, now.. hahaha i don't let anyone make me feel bad about wearing them, cause im the one who pays if i don't not them!!!!

ok, so enough already.. i hope your surgery goes well hopeful. fatty livers are found in perfectly healthy people, too.. not just "us" nothing to worry about.. so, go get everything the way you want it to be... 3jays

3jaysmom
Dx DCIS, 2cm, Stage IIb, 1/27 nodes, ER-/PR+, HER2-Chemotherapy 04/21/2009

Kate33 Mesa, AZ Joined: Apr 2010 Posts: 3,866

Jun 15, 2012 10:35 AM Kate33 wrote:

Hopeful- Thank for your your kind and wonderful words. I was feeling pretty low yesterday and you really made my day. And it touched me that the night before your surgery you took the time to reach out to me. You described me as helping others, compassionate and empathetic. Funny, that's exactly how I would describe you. You always know just the right thing to say to make us all feel better and to bring clarity. I'll be thinking about you today and hoping it all went well. I'm taking my Ipad with me this weekend so I can check in. Sending you some healing thoughts and good ju-ju!

Claire- So glad you posted to let us know how you are. I know it's hard to deal with the slow healing process after yet another surgery. It can seem like such a setback but think of it more as moving forward. (Remember even with baby steps there's forward momentum!) I think the shower thing is huge and can make a big difference in how we feel. Is there a friend that could come help you? Like Diane said- if we were closer we'd be there in a heartbeat.

Diane- Glad your friend got some good news. Hope the rest of the tests are positive, too. (Or is it negative in this case?)

OK, I'm finally packed and feeling better. (Hard to believe I used to be a flight attendant and now packing throws me into a tizzy!) I found a (hopefully) cute outfit- white linen slacks and a silvery cream top that covers my (fat) upper arms. I'm off in a bit to get my icky haircut (hopefully) fixed and then we're off! My poor dog, Scout, has been stressed ever since the suitcase came out. She has horrible separation anxiety when I go away. The good thing is my stepdaughter is a dog lover so I know will give her lots of love while I'm gone.

Kate33 "Yes, they're fake (@)(@) the real ones tried to kill me."
Dx 12/27/2009, DCIS, 4cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/4 nodesSurgery 03/08/2010 Mastectomy (Both)

lisa2012 California Joined: May 2012 Posts: 511

Jun 15, 2012 10:58 AM lisa2012 wrote:

That is how I feel. Still have TEs from BMX. Look good in clothes- but do not feel like I am in my body. Sex seems like an unbelievable chore, if I can somehow get myself to get there. And I have the nicest husband in the world....sleep stinks,ambien will only give me 3-4 hours now at best. Ativan in the evening often gets me through. Had unassisted sleep one nigh out if the last ten!!

Dx 1/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-Surgery 02/22/2012 Mastectomy (Both); Lymph Node Removal (Both); Reconstruction: Tissue expander placement (Both)Chemotherapy 04/18/2012 Cytoxan, Taxotere

barbe1958 Alliston, ON Joined: Nov 2008 Posts: 17,434

Jun 15, 2012 11:59 AM barbe1958 wrote:

Claire, this healing time will soon be quickly forgotten as you progress to the new you. It's just a phase, like a caterpillar to a butterfly!

Kate, have a wonderful time! I'm like 3jays and hate small talk!! It's SO trivial.. I have a hard time in groups, especially as I don't drink anymore.

Lisa, you are still in the very early stages, your body will learn to take care of you and let you sleep every couple of days...

Sometimes you're the fork, sometimes you're the road.

DiDel Baltimore, MD Joined: May 2010 Posts: 1,275

Jun 15, 2012 12:28 PM DiDel wrote:

Lisa TE's are the worst! They are so uncomfortable. I never slept on my back before BC. During TE and chemo (I did same regimine) I slept with 2 pillows under my head 1 pillow under each arm and two pillows under my legs...to help with the fluid retention of TC. I felt like I was in a nest...it was nice and comfy and after a while I couldnt get to sleep either way. I see you started chemo in April...I hope you are nearing the finishing line!!

Hopeful I think you are having surgery today...good luck! Thinking of you and sorry I didnt post earlier but my stupid computer is working every other day and when I post from my Droid I cant remember everyones post and what I wanted to respond to.

3Jays glad you had a nice visit. Hopefully in November you will have another..wink wink.

Stanzie are the kids still at camp?? or have they not left yet...you need to post a pic of your puppy..havent seen that sweet little face since you got him.

Claire and Donna hope you are healing and resting. The worst is almost over...hugs to you all.

This week has been the Sailabration in Baltimore for the 200 anniversary of the War of 1812 and the City has been crowded and full of festivities all week. I have been working from home as its been crazy. The Blue Angels have been practicing their fly over Fort McHenry and I hear it all the way at my house 10 miles away. I cant wait to see it live along with fireworks this weekend. Its gonna be gorgeous here hope you all have a wonderful and peaceful weekend.

Diane

Dx 11/12/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage II, Grade 2, 0/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

barbe1958 Alliston, ON Joined: Nov 2008 Posts: 17,434

Jun 15, 2012 04:57 PM barbe1958 wrote:

Diane, that sounds WONDERFUL!! I love a BIG festive show to make me feel proud. It must be beautiful. I hope the weather holds for you. I can just imagine how the waterfront must look and all the red, white and blue bunting on the houses!

Sometimes you're the fork, sometimes you're the road.

3jaysmom hollywood, fl Joined: Apr 2010 Posts: 4,122

Jun 17, 2012 04:54 AM 3jaysmom wrote:

ok, so i;m in the pits, officially tonight.. a big blow up with the DH, and he IS, normally.. we went on about who suffers the most.. the person with cancer, doing the surgeries, and all that comes later, or the supporting partner.. guess you can figure out where we both were in that discussion..

its' NOT a nice place to start fathers day.. but, no matter, my whole familys gone, and he still has a mom and dad to go to see tommorrow..

it'll be a while before we recoup from this one.. we rarely fight like this, but when we do, it really shakes up my world..

i went an bought a good book, which i intend to start tonight./. doesn't help, i jst took my synthyroid, and will be miserable ( and hopefully invisible ) for the next 2 days...

i think we both have just hit overload, emotionally. this cancer stuff, and medical stuff just wears everyone down!!

glad i just had a good visit with marybe, cause this just suks!!!3jays

3jaysmom
Dx DCIS, 2cm, Stage IIb, 1/27 nodes, ER-/PR+, HER2-Chemotherapy 04/21/2009

justagirl Doonan Australia Joined: Dec 2010 Posts: 592

Jun 17, 2012 08:05 AM justagirl wrote:

3jaysmom, I am so sorry to hear you and DH have been crossing swords. Sounds like you deserve to sink your mind into that delicious book you bought and let the world go by for the next couple of days.

It can be a toss up on who shoulders the most, the person with cancer and all the crap that goes along with it or the partner. I don't know the answer to that one. All I know is for my DH and me it's me that becomes the bitch because I get tired of having to have him do things I would rather do my way but have learned to ask for help and shut my mouth when he doesn't do exactly as I would of done. So I think I get double, for having BC and having to see things not done right and all he has to do is go grocery shopping (he doesn't know the difference between a zucchini or cucumber) and not buy dead vegetables or vacuum, which he would never think of doing the whole carpet, not just here and there.

I totally agree with you, it's sucky business!

Debbie: When will I go to sleep at night and not dwell on breast cancer?
Dx 3/16/2010, IDC, 1cm, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

DiDel Baltimore, MD Joined: May 2010 Posts: 1,275

Jun 17, 2012 10:56 AM DiDel wrote:

3Jays sorry you and your hubby had a blow up. I think sometimes men get so afraid when their spouse gets sick they act out in anger when I am sure he is just worried to lose you. Now why a man cant simply say it is beyond me.

I hope today is a better day and that he apologizes and you can find a way to move on

Hugs to all!

Diane

Dx 11/12/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage II, Grade 2, 0/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

DiDel Baltimore, MD Joined: May 2010 Posts: 1,275

Jun 17, 2012 11:12 AM DiDel wrote:

BTW if anyone is interested the Baltimoresun.com has some great pictures of the Sailabration! Particularly the Blue Angels and the tall ships that sailed in this week. There are some great pics of how close the Blue Angels fly to the Fort and some of the Mexican Naval Ship sailing in with the enitre crew standing on the rigging as it approaches the harbor. Amazing pics! I can't post them here cause they dont allow it but definitely worth seeing...little part of american history.

Enjoy the day

Diane

Dx 11/12/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage II, Grade 2, 0/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

barbe1958 Alliston, ON Joined: Nov 2008 Posts: 17,434

Jun 17, 2012 11:14 AM barbe1958 wrote:

3jays, you had a blow-up because it was building up. Perhaps Marybe's visit pointed out how "handicapped" you have become. I know, myself, that I just stay at home now, all the time. So someone who 'should' be sicker than me (stage iv) zipping in and out of my space might frustrate me a lot. Perhaps Mur saw it too. They forget that we have other issues than just the cancer. They may compare us to someone else who has cancer and forget all the other shit we have going on. It's depressing for us, and depressing for them too. Our bodies always have an excuse why we 'can't' do something. We either know we physically can't, or will pay too much for it later. I think it's healthy that the blow-up happened so soon after Marybe's visit as it seems to me, at least, to be the catalyst and not something hidden.

I hope I'm making sense for you. Remember, both you and I were supposed to go to Marybe's family cottage last summer and neither one of us could. I DO know how you feel. My husband knows how Mur feels. The frustration as new ideas are put forth and then shot down by me. Why venture so far out when I don't know if I can make it back home? I applaud you for going out to dinners! I don't even do that!

So what I'm trying to say is that I think the blow-up was healthy and got rid of a lot of frustration and angst. I know it hurts now, but better out than in....

Sometimes you're the fork, sometimes you're the road.

ptdreamers Wa Joined: Nov 2011 Posts: 1,075

Jun 17, 2012 05:26 PM ptdreamers wrote:

3jays, I am sorry that the argument occurred but can certainly see both sides. My DH and I recently attended a one day workshop for cancer patients and their significant others. When asked what cancer had given him he said a closer relationship with me and what it taken away he said tolerance. It is true; he was the most easy going guy around prior to my diagnosis, now he snaps at everything. I know he is afraid of losing me and is lashing out but sometimes it is like walking on eggs to not upset him. Take care and don't go to bed without at least trying to let him know you love him.

ptdreamers
Dx 8/26/2011, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

3jaysmom hollywood, fl Joined: Apr 2010 Posts: 4,122

Jun 18, 2012 05:18 AM 3jaysmom wrote:

well, thanks, ladies.. Barbe: we had planned to adress some things "after marybe goes home" but, we were actually sniping at each other, while she was here.. she's such a dear friend, she just chuckles , and says men are men.. tend to agree.

most of the time, we do well, but his parents not doing well, is eating at him.. and then, he doesn't tlak, so thats' where it starts.. why won't men just discuss things in the open????

im sick of hearing about the men in my life (sons, hubs) being so afraid they'll lose me, that they'll shut me out!!!

so, im stayng out, at least for the meantime.. i just don't have one more drop n me to "save" another person, when im trying to survive here, myself!!!

barbe: he makes such a deal about how much help i need, but he does what he THINKS i need help with, and now, im doing what i really need help with!yeah, i know that you, of all people, understand.. the worst is, we NEVER fight!and if/when we reach this point, it FREAKS ME OUT11

so, im staying in the extra bedroom, (bc of his snoring wink wink) and reading my new book.. got another one today, cause im almost finished with it.. i need a break, so till he decides he can talk, i'm reading!

i already tried cooking, andf i end up throwing up, per usual.. but easier than hearing he was overwhelmed with "kitchen" duty...

im sure things will look better when the synthyroid sickness passes. haven't really slept in 2 days..

thanks you guys, for listening.. when we argue, i do tend to fall in ahole, as it were... 3jays

3jaysmom
Dx DCIS, 2cm, Stage IIb, 1/27 nodes, ER-/PR+, HER2-Chemotherapy 04/21/2009

hopefulheal… Joined: Feb 2010 Posts: 694

Jun 18, 2012 11:04 AM hopefulhealing wrote:

Darn it! Just did a long post and it is gone So maybe it is a sign I need to write less! Surgery went ok. Did what he was suppose to do but hard to tell with steri stips in place. Trying to get symmetry with areolas before the full thickness skin grafts and nipple recon scheduled for Sept. All due to botched NSM. Had an appt. with new breast surgeon. My old one I wouldn't send my worst enemy to said in April 2010 I will see you when needed. This one says she follows her patients every six months for 5 years! Feel so good I changed. Thanks for all your kind words ladies!!!! I can't tell you how much it meant to me.

Diane the celebration sounds wonderful! Glad your friend has some answers.

Stanzie I hope you have a spectacular day!

Lisa the intimacy thing is one of the BC things no one wants to talk about. The loss of sensation is something we grieve. It is a huge change. We have to learn a new dance in our lovemaking. We need to remind and hopefully your husband will remind you that you are beautiful even with the scars and changes. It takes time and patience.

3yays I am sorry you and your DH are having angry words. It is a horrible feeling when you are not in sync. I hope you will be able to breathe and then come together stronger and better.

Kate I hope your weekend with your hubby was special and wonderful. I am sure you looked SPECTACULAR!

Have a peace filled day

Dx 12/21/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

Stanzie Ga Joined: Mar 2010 Posts: 1,953

Jun 18, 2012 07:46 PM Stanzie wrote:

Oh 3jays!!!!!! I don't begin to have all the medical issues you have but I can so tell how you feel and I have been at that point also. Mine have been times that come then go and I know yours is more non-stop so of course tensions and frustrations are going to happen. And Yes I agree a visit from a friend can bring things along quicker. But I can tell you all love each other so much that all will work out soon. I think you are very wise to give both yourself and your husband some breathing room. But I also can tell how hurt and upset you are - so hoping all is worked out sooner than later....

Hope- well goodness I'm very glad you switched doctors!! Hope the strips stay on and you get good results!

Well, this week has truly been something else for me. No- none is medical so I know in truth I shouldn't even begin to complain but really ..... ok, so Tuesday night I have a flat tire in my 3 month old car, no I do not have AAA - cancelled it about 3 months ago cause I had a new car and in 7 years never used AAA. Great. Then Wednesday - Friday - my AC broke twice (two different days), my fish pond water wasn't working they fixed it but replaced the net wrong and killed all the fish, sprinklers broke, two toilets broke, 3 outdoor flood lights just installed last month - all died - new bulbs didn't work, Differnt things on pool broke on Wed, Thurs. and Friday! So for the first time since my divorce I was having my book club over for a pool party so madly cleaning, planting, and moving furniture so everyone will have somewhere to sit. I even went nuts and hung lots of fun lights outside and put out tons of candles. (When I was married we used to entertain - so I have lots of fun stuff so was excited to use it) Yes I about killed myself - not some one person alone at home should try and tackle but I did. So come Friday night I'm thinking whew all the things (except the lights) are fixed and next day I can just do the last minute cooking and set out the pillows and get out cups and plates and all..... Saturday morning.... Alfie my puppy goes downtairs with me. First thing he sees is a dead rat my cat brought in. He is delighted and runs with it. I am horrendously grossed out but I chase him..... he starts eating it and I can't deal with it so I go back in side shuddering. He comes back in with bloody feet - totally freaked again.... then... much to my total horror he then throws it back up! OMG.... I am totally losing it at this point... So after I have gotten myself back together... I go out to keep working on the pool area- was out earlier and everything was good.... now... the pool is draining itself! It is 12:30pm and everyone is to arrive at 4:00pm. I run in and try like crazy to get a hold of the pool company. No luck but I keep trying and trying.... I try and get other things done but I'm so upset as this is the first time for having people over.... so it is now about 3:30pm and I realize I still haven't gotten out the cups and plates and such so as I go to do that. My fire alarm starts going off, the dog is barking the cat is going crazy knocking things over and I'm just dying... I finally get it to go off and check no fire.... no clue. Am supposed to go feed a friends cats but now will have to go once everyone arrives. They do come but usually everyone brings wine. Well there was only 3 bottles for 20 people so everyone left early before it got dark so no one saw all my hard work on the lights. Oh the pool.... well I turned it off and somehow the water evened out a bit and I refilled and just didn't dare turn the crazy thing on. So he comes this morning. He isn't sure as nothing seems to be wrong with it??? but he does suspect there is some leak - oh joy! Just what I need.

I know all this is just stuff but man it was an awful lot of Stuff at one time! I so miss someone anyone who could have would have helped me or even been there to talk to me. I miss that terribly. My ex boyfriend wants to talk tomorrow. I don't know why on earth I agreed and am worried about it now... It has been 4 months since I have seen or talked to him.... sorry I know all this is trivial comparitivly and that isn't spelled correctly.... but it is my life at the moment.... thanks.

Dx 2/1/2010, DCIS, <1cm, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

justagirl Doonan Australia Joined: Dec 2010 Posts: 592

Jun 19, 2012 12:11 AM, edited Jun 19, 2012 12:12 AM by justagirl

Stanzie, oh dear, sounds like you really had the week from hell, what with you car and everything going whacko at your home. You might check around for a handy-man who you could call, including weekends for emergencies, who could suss out and fix all these things that can and do go and break down with a home, garden and pool.

I am quite handy around the house and garden but do have an electrician, plumber, carpenter/hand man and garden guy to help me when required as my dear husband can't even replace the battery in a fire alarm or change a light bulb - seriously.

And none of this is trivial - hopefully our world does not just involve BC. Unfortunately, for myself, I do think having had BC, and still am concerned about some breast cancer cell popping it's head up, has rendered me not so able to, as they say 'roll with the punches' or take things going wrong or amok in my life. And I don't mean I can't deal with whatever, it just seems to take more energy and effort than I have.

I totally get you about the cat, dog and rat. My cat brings in rats, mice, snakes and lizards and unfortunately they are not always dead. Then, sometimes my cat with leave a rat minus it's head and I wonder if he ate it or it's hidden somewhere in the house - shudder.......and then there is blood on the carpet.

Sounds like after all of this you needed a bottle of wine just for yourself! If the people you invited over needed more wine, didn't any of them think to make a run to the bottle shop?

Wishing you a brighter week - Debbie

I do think that might be a better option for you than getting back with your ex-boyfriend if that's what he wants to talk about. He was a total fool to not treat you well, as I think you are a really good, no, great person! If he didn't bring into your life more happiness than grief, well, it's something to chew on.

Debbie: When will I go to sleep at night and not dwell on breast cancer?
Dx 3/16/2010, IDC, 1cm, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

hopefulheal… Joined: Feb 2010 Posts: 694

Jun 19, 2012 09:44 AM hopefulhealing wrote:

Stanzie, OMG!!!!!!! You could write a one act play with all of that. Unbelievable. The fact you were still together enough to greet your guests shows what a strong and wonderful lady you are!!! I hope you can get everything repaired with the least amount of grief going forward.

Listen to your head on the ex thing. The heart is not always reliable in these situations. Just saying :) Whatever you decide you know we are here for you.

Dx 12/21/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

Stanzie Ga Joined: Mar 2010 Posts: 1,953

Jun 19, 2012 12:34 PM Stanzie wrote:

You all are so wonderful! Thank you! Debbie, I'm afraid I'm like your husband I honestly can't figure anything out. I bought those off candle things and couldn't figure how to open the crazy thing - don't know if I already said this... but tried to open the garage opener to replace the batter, nope couldn't figure it out either. Yes I have VCR and such do I have a clue how it works, no. I'm really totally useless on anything with a plug or battery.

So my ex boyfriend just left... Wow... don't even know what to say. It was so weird. He first said he was worried about seeing me but that it was OK. We took my dog for a walk and just talked about current things going on and movies we had seen.... then we sat on the porch and drank some water and he asked if I wanted to get together for my birthday in August??? I never really answered and he left. Huh??? I have no clue. It was just totally odd. So don't know what on earth to say. At one point, he said you don't really need me, do you? I don't think I answered that either. So ??? Now on to get a crown on my broken tooth, joy! Thanks again for listening, it helps so much!

Hopeful, you know my cousin keeps telling me that... not a good sign is it that this sort of thing or many things happen often. Sometimes I do feel like Pig Pen with a big dark cloud over my head.... even my kids say, Mom why does so much stuff go wrong with you and around you.... I keep trying to be a positive person and such but just don't know. Oh and the wine for the party! Usually the host only provides the house.

Dx 2/1/2010, DCIS, <1cm, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

DiDel Baltimore, MD Joined: May 2010 Posts: 1,275

Jun 19, 2012 01:17 PM DiDel wrote:

Oh Stanzie..you poor thing. Sounds like you were having my usual luck..or lack of. I am sorry you had so much to deal with . I usually break down with car and AC issues. You know expensive items to repair. I feel like BC was enough shit to deal with for a lifetime. We should get a pass on anything bad ever happening again!!! Sorry about the rat ..this city girl completely understands..bllaaaaahhhhkkk

I cant believe your ex!! What nerve..were you supposed to crumble and declare how much you need him. Really! ? And I guess you should jump at the chance to spend your birthday with him. Ugh how frustrating for you. Men!! I agree with Debbie..if someone is not making your life better by being in it...move on. Friends should enhance your life not cause heartache and aggravation. I am truly sorry you had so much to deal with. Glad we can be here for you. If i lived nearby I would've been by with 2 bottles of wine for the 2"wheres of us!!! Hope today gets better...after the crown. HUGS to you sweet friend!

Hopeful glad you are feeling good.

Claire and Donna hope you're resting comfortably and healing.

Kate how was your weekend? ?

Happy Tuesday
Diane

Dx 11/12/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage II, Grade 2, 0/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

Stanzie Ga Joined: Mar 2010 Posts: 1,953

Jun 19, 2012 05:08 PM Stanzie wrote:

Diane! I wish we ALL lived closer! So after telling such a dreadful story on Alfie - just got back from the dentist with my swollen mouth sitting here watching TV. Alfie comes up on the sofa and he playing with something making a strange noise! OK - I burst out laughing - nope didn't bite my cheek or lip - anyway, it is one of the cat toys which is a furry mouse that you pull the tail and the mouse vibrates. So Alfie is sitting on the sofa, with one paw on the mouse and he is pulling the tail with his mouth so it vibrates!!! OK, so he is brilliant! LOL!

Dx 2/1/2010, DCIS, <1cm, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

DiDel Baltimore, MD Joined: May 2010 Posts: 1,275

Jun 19, 2012 05:35 PM DiDel wrote:

Omg Alfie is a genius!! I have a toy like that but when Charlie gets a hold of Sadies cat toys he just rips the stuffing out...not so brilliant LOL. It sounds like little Alfie lifted your spirits...job well done!

It is gonna be scorching the next few days..hello summer!! Barbe does it get humid in Canada??

So my friend who was just diagnosed has a lung condition called Nontuberculosis Mycobacteria which has been untreated..so now our BS recommended she see a new pulmonologist and said he cannot do surgery until lungs clear up. Anyone ever have this?? I am wondering how long it will take to resolve so she can have her surgery. Poor thing she just wants the cancer out. Hoping her new P will give her meds yo clear up. Her last scan notes that there was progession and worsening of the disease but doc didnt give her anything. I just glad our BS noticed. Maybe its her blessing that the bc was found now and that our BS cares enough to quickly get it resolved. She cant go more than
10 minutes without coughing.

Ok back to work
Diane

Dx 11/12/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage II, Grade 2, 0/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

Stanzie Ga Joined: Mar 2010 Posts: 1,953

Jun 20, 2012 10:02 AM Stanzie wrote:

Oh Diane, I don't know a thing about that. I know how anxious she is... I'm so sorry, hate that to happen.... But at the same time it is good he found it. My Mom who died of lung cancer( yes she smoked when she was younger but had stopped for 30 years and had the non-smoking type) Anyway, she had been going to her internest who noticed something "funny" on her lungs and supposedly showed the X-rays to collegues and all said it was nothing. Well one weekend before going on a trip her back went out and she had to go to one of those doc in a box. Well she got some meds but on Monday when the regular radiologist came in he called me and said she needs to get to a doctor immediately - he could tell in a sec. that it was cancer.... This was 5 years after her internest saw the "funny" area! So yes sometimes it is very good for other doctors to look. I'm gathering he doesn't think it is something too scary just something to take care of so she doesn't have any issues with the anesthesia. Let us know....

Diane I wish I could have gotten a picture with the cat toy - he really was adorable. He did it one to many times a bit too hard and broke it though :( I spent about 45 min. trying to find the cord to see if I could reattach the tail. I couldn't figure it out. LOL - Really a cat toy challenges me!

Going back to conversation with my ex. He said he thought my breaking up with him came out of the blue and I said well we were just fighting all the time and I couldn't take it anymore. I tried very hard not to bring up specific things that were terribly insencitive to me but he never gets. He responds with," So I was wondering if I was the pressure and the stress in your life. We both have different perspectives like yours about us always fighting.... I just never thought we had any fights, in face, nothing to fight about. I thought maybe my tone of coice was irritating to you and that you thought I was unhappy about how static our relationship seemed." Hmmm, not sure what on earth to make of that. As it sounds like we weren't in the same relationship ..... Anyway, he leaves to take his Grandson on vacation so I'll have lots of time to think before contact again...

Well going out to lunch this afternoon with my 84 year old friend and a 34 year old friend - both male ! LOL... can't imagine what other people think! Anyway, they are both lots of fun and we laugh a lot. The 84 year old is dying to take 34 to The Sun Dial - one of those turning restaurants so you can see the city as his mind and memory are perfect so always interesting. The 34 is British and has been in town helping a friend of the family who passed away at Christmas and he has stayed to help the family - he is a Dr. Met through choir. So should be an interesting and fun day! Thanks All!!!

Claire, Barb, Hope - Thinking about you all... oh and of course Kate! I think I need to wake up!

Dx 2/1/2010, DCIS, <1cm, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

barbe1958 Alliston, ON Joined: Nov 2008 Posts: 17,434

Jun 20, 2012 10:51 AM barbe1958 wrote:

Stanzie, I would have loved to see your day on a video!! Sorry to find it amusing, but it is! The more that went wrong, the more that went wrong! I do that to electrical things. When I get upset I can blow computers, car dashboards and even transformers on the street. Honestly!! I found out how bad it was when I was in an AutoCad course. My computer went down when I got frustrated at a project. So the instructor let me go home (knowing!) and as I passed each person sitting there, their computer screen fizzled to a little dot in the centre of their monitor!!! I began to watch myself and what happened around me when I got angry. Truly amazing!! My DH and I laugh about it but it is truly freaky when it's going down. Now, I know to "step away from the machine" when it starts. I've had lightbulbs blow as I go into rooms, lights flicker, appliances not work (then work!), etc. I just go lie down and read...and NOT a kindle!!! hehehehhehe

3jays, it sounds as if the Synthroid is giving you MORE problems than you had before you were taking it???

Diane, yes, it does get humid in Canada. The water drips faster inside our igloos.....hehehehehehehehe. For example, today with the humidex, it will be 41C. That translates to 112F.

Sometimes you're the fork, sometimes you're the road.

barbe1958 Alliston, ON Joined: Nov 2008 Posts: 17,434

Jun 20, 2012 10:52 AM barbe1958 wrote:

Meant to mention that we used to let our cats outdoors and they would kill mice and leave the kidneys on the doorstep for us. Don't know if they were giving us the best or the worst part of the mouse....hmmm.

Sometimes you're the fork, sometimes you're the road.

Stanzie Ga Joined: Mar 2010 Posts: 1,953

Jun 20, 2012 11:58 AM Stanzie wrote:

Barb!!!!!!! LOL!!!!! I hadn't ever thought about that but I can't wear a watch - died immediately nor can I take more than a couple of pictures and the camera battery dies... you might be on to something!!! Now how do I stop it?

Dx 2/1/2010, DCIS, <1cm, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

barbe1958 Alliston, ON Joined: Nov 2008 Posts: 17,434

Jun 20, 2012 03:47 PM barbe1958 wrote:

Too funny!!! You have to learn to channel it. That's how I blew the street transformer (the big box on the hydro pole). I had been pretty upset about something and then finally went outside and looked up!! You will get used to letting the anger drain a different way. I don't know how I finally got control and I certainly don't have total control. My family and I are used to saying "Step away from the machine" as we know that it will blow up or spark or start on fire if I don't move away. At my last job, I had a VISA/debit machine right on my desk. I had to go behind a metal pole and have customers swipe their own cards almost all the time!! My co-workers believed me after they saw it happen so many times. I also had problems getting to the 'payment' page on the invoice on my computer. Strangely, if I hummed Frosty the Snowman while hitting enter, it would sometimes work. I don't know if that meant my brain was focussed somewhere else or what.

Now that you know, have fun with it. Notice people shaking their mobiles when you walk past and how often lights will flicker when you are in a room. It's extraneous electrical energy, that's all. I wish it was worth millions or something. Hey! A couple of times at a casino I've been able to channel it!!! One time I'd just spun 3 7's and got my hand-pay done (before paper chits) and the guy said to spin the wheels one more time as no one would touch a machine that had just paid out. I laughed and spun again....and got the same pay-out!!! Right in front of him. He said he'd never heard of that happening. Another time I won a natural royal flush on a machine and it didn't even 'sing' out! I called over someone to see if I had really won and they said it was impossible odds as we walked to the machine. There is was...a natural royal flush. I told him to sing as he paid me out!

Kate, hoping to hear your weekend went well!! Your silence kind of says it didn't......

Sometimes you're the fork, sometimes you're the road.

Kate33 Mesa, AZ Joined: Apr 2010 Posts: 3,866

Jun 20, 2012 04:03 PM Kate33 wrote:

Hi Everyone! I'm back after a great weekend. There were some challenges being "on" for so long but, all in all, a great weekend. The resort was absolutely gorgeous. (If you google "Camelback Inn" you can see images.) There was drinks, great food, music, dancing and some relaxing pool time (and some alone time, too ). So peaceful and relaxing and just what my DH and I needed. We came home Sunday afternoon and celebrated Father's Day with our DS and my 2 stepdaughters who made us dinner. Then on Monday it was my birthday so spent it with my family and then last night some friends had us over to celebrate as well!

I've been trying to catch up on here!

3jays- Sorry about the fight with your DH. I hope things have resolved. This whole thing is so hard on a relationship on both sides and it seems like it goes on and on. I know your DH is probably mourning in his own way for what you once were and what you once had. This forever changes us, unfortunately, and it causes a lot of stress on our relationships. Hope you both can open up and talk about it and move past the hurt feelings.

Stanzie- What a day from H***! People like to say God only gives you what he knows you can handle but sometimes you just want to say, "Seriously? Are you kidding me?" Hope sometime in the future you can look back on it and laugh. I really did picture it as a funny sitcom episode but guessing you haven't seen the humor in it yet. I think you definitely need a handyman you can call on from time to time. Ask around for a recommendation. There must be someone who's out of work or some retired person looking for things to do that could help out on an as-needed basis. I keep threatening to hire my DH out for our neighborhood- lol!

Hopeful- Glad the surgery went o.k and that you have a new BS now who is more pro-active. Hope everything is healing well!

Think I'm still recovering from the weekend because I'm still in my p.j.'s! Guess I better get dressed and get something accomplished!

Kate33 "Yes, they're fake (@)(@) the real ones tried to kill me."
Dx 12/27/2009, DCIS, 4cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/4 nodesSurgery 03/08/2010 Mastectomy (Both)

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Topic: Great saying about depression

Forum: Relationships, Emotional Crises, Anxiety, and Depression — Meet and support others who are affected by these issues around breast cancer fears, diagnosis and treatment.