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All TopicsForum: Relationships, Emotional Crises, Anxiety, and Depression → Topic: Fuzzy's Romp Room

Topic: Fuzzy's Romp Room

Forum: Relationships, Emotional Crises, Anxiety, and Depression — Meet and support others who are affected by these issues around breast cancer fears, diagnosis and treatment.

Posted on: Nov 30, 2011 10:46 AM

thefuzzylemon wrote:

So here I am.  Out of active treatment.  Found out that looking forward to "it getting easier" and "getting back to a "normal" hasn't happened.  Instead, I discovered that the journey only began - that I will forever fight this disease, my mental health continues to be challenged and making "changes" to avoid reoccurance just makes me feel like Cancer gets to control my quality...screwed up, right?

So, here it is...Fuzzy's Romp Room.  I'm so ready to drop F Bombs and smack stupid people for the insensitive crap that they say and do.  I'm sick of medications "getting me through."  I have had just about enough of people on the other side who just don't get it, yet feel they need to say something to make a cancer patient "feel better about themselves" or whatever that reasoning is...

I'm hoping that this thread will just give a place to be 100% open.  I do love to write, and I do love all of my sisters here.  I do not want to offend anyone, ever.  I just need to let it out...feel free to do the same.  I thought by opening up my own thread, it would keep me from offending anyone else on thread's that they have built.  I'm just such a friggin' mess and I need some help to get it together ...

Fuzzy's Romp Room comes complete with padded walls, restrictive clothing/accessories (for the really bad days) and an endless supply of love to all of ya all.  Believe it or not, I do have tons of love and forgiveness in my heart ... it's just my head that's a wreck.

thefuzzylemon
Diagnosis: 1/20/2011, 2cm, Stage IIIc, 14/15 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 2, 2012 07:40 AM, edited Mar 2, 2012 08:05 AM by dogeyed

JEANIE, the Lyrica is a cousin to the Neurontin, so could be it won't work for you, but at least for me I didn't have all this awful stomach upset and this goof-up in my thinking that Neurontin gave me.  But Lyrica DID make me sleepy for a few days and then I built up tolerance.  I went to my cancer clinic yesterday and I forgot to ask them about that sore spot I got, too, right in the middle of where my boob used to be, that I mentioned before might be like yours.  SIGH.  But doc said that area was recovering fine.  Now, this is unlikely, but Jeanie, one of the girls in another forum I've been visiting for many months, she's had to have several surgeries, and one was to straighten out infected sutures!??  I wonder if a scan would find something like that, or maybe they can tell infection from simply bloodwork?  Anyhow, you can ask your doc.

THIS ONE IS FOR FUZZY and FOR SHEILA: 

As for WHERE IS FUZZY WUZZY, she disappears from time to time, as do I.  I just wish I lived near her so I could hang out in her kitchen and she in mine, and our dogs would have play dates.  OHHHHH FUZZY, let me share something with you.  I know you've come on here and cursed your workplace a few times.  My first and last jobs were at the newspaper office, worked as writer and editor most of my life, but one time I had this petty job with a bunch of clique-ish high schoolish brats, and I'm minding my own business, and another girl who was half my age interrupted me whilst I was talking to a customer on the phone (it was a call place), and she loudly told me twice to just hang up on the customer.  I finished the call LIKE I WAS TRAINED TO DO, and quietly told her never to do that again, to stay away from me.  WELLLLL, you'd have thought I just sank the Titantic, becuz HER supervisor came over to me and chewed me out.  I went to her desk as soon as I had a break, and apologized for whatever I had done, I briefly explained why I told that girl to stay away from me, and asked did that sup have anything she was holding back about me.  No, she said.  WRONG. 

A week or so later, I get called into a room with all the people above me EXCEPT MY OWN SUPERVISOR who liked me fine, and anyhow, they started pulling out papers about stuff against me, minor crap, and how I'd been unkind to another employee.  Believe me, if I had been unkind, EVERYONE in the place would have known about it.  But it was in a quiet but firm tone I went over and privately told her with, and when the sup above my sup heard me say about how that stoopid girl had told me to hang up on the customer, her eyes grew so wide I thought they'd fall out onto the table.  SHE knew the rules.  So, I SHOULD have taken that as a signal I was saved, and used her to plead my case, but instead I went with hurt feelings and like an IDIOT I told them to all shove it up their asses (but it did feel good).  Luckily my old newspaper pals took me back, and it was after that that I had to quit working because my back got so much worse. 

I jus don't like to see my fellow cancer sisters cry.  So, Fuzzy, this hug is for you {{{{{FUZZZZZZY}}}}}} and so is this:

BABY YOU'RE A FIREWORK, come on show us what you're worth, give it to them OH OH OH !!!! GG 

IBC, IDC, Melanoma/ 5 mos ACT chemo, mastectomy, rads to 10/28, Arimidex one month
Diagnosis: 2/14/2011, IDC, 5cm, Grade 3, 2/11 nodes, ER+
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Mar 2, 2012 07:49 AM veggy wrote:

                                                       

                                                     Its a "fuzzy" hug!

Diagnosis 5/26/09 *Chemo 6/9/09 - 10/6/09 *Lumpectomy 12/1/09* Grade 2b* Nodes 1/17* Triple Negative* Thyroid surgery 4/12/10
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Mar 4, 2012 04:16 PM grannydukes wrote:

its very quiet here without fuzzy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Diagnosis: 4/15/2010, DCIS, 4cm, Stage II, Grade 2, 1/6 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Mar 4, 2012 04:20 PM sheila888-♥ wrote:

OK Fuzzy...I missed you and please send a sign that you are ok (kinda)

We love you my friend......maybe we should start posting pictures...Can you hear me???????

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Sheila♥
Diagnosis: 4/8/2005, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+
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Mar 4, 2012 04:22 PM Makratz wrote:

Linda...♥♥♥ Never, never, never give up ~ Winston Churchill
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Mar 4, 2012 04:50 PM, edited Mar 4, 2012 04:53 PM by veggy

I'm looking for fuzzy. Anyone see her??

I hired the best.

Diagnosis 5/26/09 *Chemo 6/9/09 - 10/6/09 *Lumpectomy 12/1/09* Grade 2b* Nodes 1/17* Triple Negative* Thyroid surgery 4/12/10
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Mar 4, 2012 05:00 PM sheila888-♥ wrote:

I think I found her ..............

Sheila♥
Diagnosis: 4/8/2005, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+
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Mar 4, 2012 05:13 PM Makratz wrote:

I spotted her bike.....

Linda...♥♥♥ Never, never, never give up ~ Winston Churchill
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Mar 4, 2012 07:25 PM veggy wrote:

Love the bike!!

Diagnosis 5/26/09 *Chemo 6/9/09 - 10/6/09 *Lumpectomy 12/1/09* Grade 2b* Nodes 1/17* Triple Negative* Thyroid surgery 4/12/10
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Mar 4, 2012 07:28 PM Makratz wrote:

Yes, I love that bike too, but still no fuzzy!

Linda...♥♥♥ Never, never, never give up ~ Winston Churchill
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Mar 4, 2012 07:36 PM veggy wrote:

I think I found her car...

Diagnosis 5/26/09 *Chemo 6/9/09 - 10/6/09 *Lumpectomy 12/1/09* Grade 2b* Nodes 1/17* Triple Negative* Thyroid surgery 4/12/10
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Mar 4, 2012 07:43 PM Makratz wrote:

LOL!!!  I think you did!

Linda...♥♥♥ Never, never, never give up ~ Winston Churchill
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Mar 4, 2012 08:05 PM veggy wrote:

Its pink!

Tongue out

Diagnosis 5/26/09 *Chemo 6/9/09 - 10/6/09 *Lumpectomy 12/1/09* Grade 2b* Nodes 1/17* Triple Negative* Thyroid surgery 4/12/10
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Mar 4, 2012 10:25 PM, edited Mar 4, 2012 10:26 PM by LaurenM730

Looove the pink car!!!

I hope everyone enjoyed the weekend...

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Mar 5, 2012 09:29 AM veggy wrote:

Its a Lego Sherlock.

I miss Fuzzy!

Diagnosis 5/26/09 *Chemo 6/9/09 - 10/6/09 *Lumpectomy 12/1/09* Grade 2b* Nodes 1/17* Triple Negative* Thyroid surgery 4/12/10
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Mar 5, 2012 12:16 PM sheila888-♥ wrote:

Sheila♥
Diagnosis: 4/8/2005, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+
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Mar 5, 2012 05:06 PM veggy wrote:

me too!

Diagnosis 5/26/09 *Chemo 6/9/09 - 10/6/09 *Lumpectomy 12/1/09* Grade 2b* Nodes 1/17* Triple Negative* Thyroid surgery 4/12/10
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Mar 7, 2012 07:56 AM dogeyed wrote:

I have hired a detective to check in on Fuzzy, and I also sent a giant email to her mailbox with pics of my doggie, so that she will HAVE to come up for air, I don't care WHAT is wrong with her, she MUST come here forthwith and report for duty!!!  The natives are getting restless!  HAHA!

NANCY, I love the term FUZZINATOR!!!  Tooooo funny.  And I'm glad VEGGY found her car.  We must be getting closer.  Could it be a tornado swept her away and she is lost in the woods?  I heard about two toddlers sucked out of a house in Ohio somewhere, and they were recovered, alive and well, less than a mile from the bathroom in which the resident adult thought she'd take them for safety, only to watch the walls fly away unto the hills.

I have been slightly off-center, don't know what came over me this week, but I cancelled TWO doc appointments (none important).  Sometimes I jus don feels likes gwine nowheres.  I thought i would reach the finish line and stay permanently in a swell mood, only to watch it all crash and burn.  Must be things go up and down, but I'm still hoping I'll become airborne in a somewhat permanent way.

AND I don't know about you all, BUT I AM SICK OF MY HAIRS!!!  Ye gads, two inches long, all the way around, I told husband the other day I looked like Beethoven.  I mean, if I lost a little weight, MAYBE I could carry the sheered sheep look, but in my condition, somewheres between fat and enormous, I cannot wink at a man and hope to persaude him of anything except abandoning me.  GG

IBC, IDC, Melanoma/ 5 mos ACT chemo, mastectomy, rads to 10/28, Arimidex one month
Diagnosis: 2/14/2011, IDC, 5cm, Grade 3, 2/11 nodes, ER+
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Mar 7, 2012 05:02 PM mamglam wrote:

Today I have come in for a hug - I lost a friend to colorectal cancer yesterday at age 47 and am feeling sad and teary.  She was too young and I miss her already.  I went for a bone scan and CT scan and was thinking about how I hated being at the hospital but will need to spend some of my time for my treatment.  Just a hard day!

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Mar 7, 2012 05:16 PM ptdreamers wrote:

mamglam<<<<hugs>>> Sorry about your friend.

ptdreamers
Diagnosis: 8/26/2011, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 7, 2012 05:54 PM duckyb1 wrote:

Nancy........lost my mother to colorectal cancer......of course she was older, but lost her just the same............It is so sad how one disease can take so many.................I also lost my father 1 year before my mother, and my husband 7 years later to Pancreatic cancer, at 57, so I am very familiar with cancer, and have been down the path too many times............

It never gets easy , but as time passes you learn to deal with it a little better...........hugs to you

Ducky
Diagnosis: 2/15/2011, IDC, 1cm, Grade 1, 0/10 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 7, 2012 09:31 PM deborye wrote:

OH so sorry about you friend, too damn young.  I have had 2 colonoscopys and another in 4 more years.  Found 1 polyop the first time and last Jan of 2011 they found another one down near my appendix.  

Did find my head though. 

~~~Deb~~~NEVER GIVE UP/NEVER SURRENDER**IDC 6mm & DCIS 7mm
Diagnosis: 3/23/2007, IDC, <1cm, Stage Ib, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 7, 2012 10:44 PM veggy wrote:

Mamglam-

       

Here's a big bear hug for you! I am so sorry about your friend.

Diagnosis 5/26/09 *Chemo 6/9/09 - 10/6/09 *Lumpectomy 12/1/09* Grade 2b* Nodes 1/17* Triple Negative* Thyroid surgery 4/12/10
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Mar 7, 2012 10:49 PM mamglam wrote:

Thank you ptdreamers for the hug - I felt it!  Appreciated your support.

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Mar 8, 2012 12:57 AM mamglam wrote:

Thank you ladies for the hugs - I really needed them today.  The support here always makes me feel good.  It was a very difficult day for me as I heard the news in the morning and then had to go and get my diagnostic testing to check for metases.  I want to ((((((((((hug )))))))))) you all back.

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Mar 8, 2012 06:32 AM dogeyed wrote:

ALL MY HUGS, SYMPATHY, AND SPECIAL LOVE DREAMS TO MY SISTERS!!!  GG

IBC, IDC, Melanoma/ 5 mos ACT chemo, mastectomy, rads to 10/28, Arimidex one month
Diagnosis: 2/14/2011, IDC, 5cm, Grade 3, 2/11 nodes, ER+
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Mar 8, 2012 07:07 AM LaurenM730 wrote:

Mamglam - so sorry for your loss. Sending lots of bugs, love and strength your way.

Ducky - lots of hugs to you too. You've dealth with this stupid disease way too much.

When I went to the MO for the first time I remembered they asked me for a list of immediate family members that suffered from some form of cancer. Unfortunately, the list was way too long. All the grandparents, my father, uncle... Here' to prevention, early detection, and hopefully finding a cure for EVERYONE!!!🍻

I do have to say that I had a really emotional night last night. I am part of the 9/11 health registry and they call every so often for an update. They ask a lot of questions about the last year, month and two weeks. One question was "have you been diagnosed with cancer in the pas 12 months?". I never thought I'd have to answer yes. Then they ask a lot of mental health related questions. Depression, feelings of self doubt, feelings of letting people down. Ugh, I answered yes and often to so many. I think it just hit me last night what a worldwind this has been. I sat in my room and cried for a while... So many emotions about being dx and then about 9/11 came rushing back on this stupid call. I've been avoiding it, but my husband encouraged me to take it... That day was the last thing I needed to think about while im home recovering...

Thans for listening ladies...

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Mar 8, 2012 10:50 AM mamglam wrote:

(((((HUGS))))) to you LaurenM730.  I am sorry that you had a difficult evening dealing with your emotions.  I hope that you are feeling better and anytime you need to come here and tell us what you are feeling (thinking) you are welcome to do so.  My shoulders are available anytime!

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Mar 8, 2012 03:19 PM duckyb1 wrote:

Lauren........thanks for the "hugs", and back at cha girlfriend...........you too have had a difficult time............but we are in this together, for the long haul.....................We will comfort each other.........

I got a "thumbs up" today when I went for my 1st mammogram after being diagnosed........this time last year I was waiting for surgery............God is good...................

Ducky
Diagnosis: 2/15/2011, IDC, 1cm, Grade 1, 0/10 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Mar 8, 2012 04:27 PM Makratz wrote:

((((Mam))) so sorry for your loss.

Happy for you Ducky!

Linda...♥♥♥ Never, never, never give up ~ Winston Churchill

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