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Topic: Had to put my 18 year old kitty to sleep this past Saturday

Forum: Relationships, Emotional Crises, Anxiety, and Depression — Meet and support others who are affected by these issues around breast cancer fears, diagnosis and treatment.

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Posted on: Jun 14, 2012 07:39 PM

Hadley wrote:

Hi ladies,

Just need to talk about this. Was in a funk for a few days.....my beautiful Shadow is gone. She lost some hair on her left front leg about 2 weeks ago, called the vet and they said probably a food allergy. Well about a week later she started using the restroom on the floor instead of her box and she never does this. Then the hair loss spread to her face. Took her in this past Friday and they let me get a payment plan on the geriatric blood panel- $140. Just so happened my dog had a nail appt Sat morning (lol call him The Beast when making the appts) well they already had the test back. Told me it was highly abnormal. Told them to lay it on me. Said it was highly indicative of kidney cancer and they could do dialysis but they doubted it would work and would cost thousands of dollars I don't have bc I kiss all my money off to my doctors that don't tell me a damn thing. Said without doing further testing they wouldn't have a definite tx plan and I just didn't have the money for it and she could barely hold her little head up the last few days, I just couldn't do that to her. I stayed with her and held her, it was very peaceful and very quick. Monday morning I started thinking about her on the way to work and drove right by the interstate. Then when I realized what I had done and turned around to get on the interstate, I got on east instead of west. Luckily my boss did not get upset with me. I told her why and she said awwww and she was sorry to hear that. Saturday when I was cleaning up her stuff I felt a cool breeze swirl around me and I knew she had crossed over already and wasn't mad at me for doing it. She would have put herself through hell because she is just like her momma, she won't give up for anything.

RIP Shadow Bubba.

Always go with your gut, you know your body better than anyone.
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Jun 14, 2012 09:27 PM Blessings2011 wrote:

Aw, Hadley, our furbabies depend on us to do the right things for them, even when it rips our hearts out.

I'm sure you've seen the poem, Rainbow Bridge...if you haven't, I'll post it for you.

Big hugs to you!!!

Dx 9/15/2011, IDC, <1cm, Stage Ia, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Hormonal Therapy ArimidexSurgery 12/05/2011 Mastectomy (Both); Lymph Node Removal (Left); Reconstruction: Tissue expander placement (Both)
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Jun 15, 2012 06:21 AM Leah_S wrote:

Hadley, I know you're hurting. My 17-yr-old Madeline died a year and a half ago and I still miss her.

Sending hugs to you.

Leah

Dx 11/3/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 6/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jun 15, 2012 11:55 AM Elizabeth1889 wrote:

Hadley, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear pet. It hurts so much. You put Shadow's needs above your own. That is what true love is. Shadow was lucky to have you in her life.

Dx 1/31/2011, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIa, Grade 1, 1/9 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jun 18, 2012 05:42 AM Lemonsoda wrote:

I know what you're feeling. I had to have my 14yr old cat put down 2 days ago. She had diabetes, hyperthyroid and deteriorating kidneys. I am still crying. Feels like the end of an era.

Anne 

ER/PR+ Her 2+ Diagnosed Stage IV July2011
Dx 7/7/2011, Stage IV, Grade 2, 7/14 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2+
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Jun 18, 2012 05:55 AM camillegal wrote:

Hadley I'm so sorry---when I lost my Kitty I cried all the time, it's so difficult--we know how attached we become to our little ones. And Lemonsoda I'm sorry for u also they are such comfort to us in so many ways.

Dx 2007, Stage IV, HER2+
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Jun 18, 2012 02:09 PM Tillycat wrote:

I am so sorry this had to happen.
I hope that you are able to remember your kitty with a smile and maybe, when the time is right, be able to give another kit a loving home
My baby boy (blueberry) was hit by a car and killed a few months ago. He wasn't even 2 so he still seemed like a baby to me. I loved him so much and I still really miss him. For a long time I kept thinking I saw him out of the corner of my eye but when I turned, he wasn't there.
We still have our lovely dog but cats have very special souls.
Mx

Live and love each moment. Stage iv since 2009, liver, bone, lung, lymph and brain mets
Dx IDC, Stage IV, Grade 3, 0/16 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jun 20, 2012 02:34 AM jenlee wrote:

Hadley, Shadow was with you for so long and I'm sure the two of you went through so much together. I hope you can take comfort in knowing that you were wonderful to her until the very end when you made a courageous decision for her. Hugs, Jenifer

Jenifer, completed TAC x 8 on 4/24/2012. Lumpectomy on 5/23/2012. BMX & immediate DIEP stage 1 completed on 6/5/2012 in NOLA.
Dx 10/20/2011, IDC, 4cm, Stage IIa, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jun 20, 2012 08:28 PM Hadley wrote:

Thanks ladies. Thanks for listening. I picked out her urn today. I had to order more checks because I ended up writing my last one post dated for her blood test. Told them I would be in Saturda to pick it out but stopped by today, I felt like I could deal it with it today. Will drop off my stack of checks to pay for her final visit and urn on Saturday. He is letting me do a payment plan- lol however I want to do it, he said he's not worried about it, he knows I will take care of it when I can. He also didn't charge me an office visit because I chose to stay there with her. I have paid his rent more than one month there, it's nice to be showed some appreciation. Sick animals seemed to attract me.

Leah, Lemonsoda and Tillycat I am sorry for your losses. Do you think you will be able to ever get a new kitty one day? I don't think I will. Not anytime soon anyway.

Always go with your gut, you know your body better than anyone.
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Jun 20, 2012 08:58 PM FilterLady wrote:

Hadley:

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I'm sure your precious Shadow is waiting at the Rainbow Bridge for you.  

You did the most unselfish act for your kitty.  You put her needs and quality of life before what you wanted.  Sometimes the head knows the right thing to do but the heart cannot understand it.

Ten years ago we had a cat (Mozart) that died from diabetes after a year of insulin shots, special diet, etc that we had owned for 10 years and only 2 months later we had to put our other kitty (Kit Kat) down due to mouth cancer.  We had him for 14 years.

We still had OKK (outside kitty kat/ witchypoo had her since 1998) and Bud Ro (had him since 2000) and I said I didn't want any more kitties.  About a month later I saw an ad from the local rescue for a declawed and nuetered black and white cat.  I went to see him and fell in love.  So I brought him home and named him Cry Baby.  About a month later my husband went to take our trash to a local dumpsite and came home with 2 babies in the palm of his hand and said "we are not keeping them", we had to bottle feed them, teach them to poop, use the litter box, eat regular food......and they are now 9 years old!

In the last 3 months a feral cat has been hanging around (named him Stubby due to nub tail) so I got a trap from the vet got him fixed and vaccinated and he's now a certified member of our family.  He gets in my lap and follows me around whenever I go outside.  He has turned in to a sissy and a cry baby but I love him too.

I don't know what my life would be like without any kitties, they are so loveable and so independent too.  I also have a pet Russian Boar that now weights 425 pounds that I raised from a baby.  Next on the list of critters will be some chickens, our grands want us to get some so we now have a chicken coop all ready for them.

I hope you can get to the point that you remember the good times you had with Shadow and know that she was so blessed to have you in her life.  It sounds like you've got a wonderful vet as well.

Take care,

LaDonna

Dx 9/16/2011, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 10/05/2011 Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Radiation Therapy 11/30/2011 ExternalHormonal Therapy 01/20/2012 Femara
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Jun 21, 2012 03:36 AM liefie wrote:

Hi Hadley,

So sorry to hear about your loss, and I feel your pain. I lost my beautiful Siamese cat four years ago when a neighbour's dog killed her in my yard. She was eleven years old, and my children called her 'Mom's little shadow' because she followed me everywhere and trusted me 100%. I still miss her, but I eventually did get another Siamese, Suki. She is beautiful, playful and cute, and has her own place in my heart. My house was too empty, and Suki was just what I needed. Hope you will feel better soon. 

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