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All TopicsForum: "Middle Age" 40-60(ish) Years with Breast Cancer → Topic: MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

Topic: MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

Forum: "Middle Age" 40-60(ish) Years with Breast Cancer — Meet others in this age-range who share similar life issues.

Posted on: Aug 22, 2009 01:25AM, edited 6 hours ago by elimar

elimar wrote:

Here's one for the "ish" category...

I started this thread for "middle-aged" women. At the time, we didn't have our own category on the pull-down Forum menu. The ages 40-60 in the header are unofficial--we don't "card" anyone, wink, wink---so if you are close in age it's meant for you as well. We aren't young with small children. Many of us have just gotten to the stage where we were all set to enjoy the freedom of our kids being grown when, Bam!, we got breast cancer instead. We aren't retired yet, so we get to juggle cancer and a job. We might have to care for an elderly parent on days when we feel like we could use a caregiver ourselves!

(BTW, those are general statements, NOT a checklist for belonging to this group. Even I don't fit that to a tee, so it's fine if you have some variation!!!)

Our disease unites us with ALL the strong sisters on this site, but here we can bring up some topics to share with others in the "middle."

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Nov 30, 2012 03:00AM Momine wrote:

Eli, I am with you on that. The treatments were sometimes difficult, but most of the time it was anywhere from tolerable to OK.

Dx 6/1/2011, ILC, 5cm, Stage IIIb, Grade 2, 7/23 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Chemotherapy 06/20/2011 Cytoxan, Ellence, fluorouracil, TaxotereSurgery 09/13/2011 Mastectomy (Both)Radiation Therapy 01/09/2012 ExternalSurgery 03/08/2012 Prophylactic Ovary Removal (Both)Hormonal Therapy 04/01/2012 Femara
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Nov 30, 2012 08:41AM elimar wrote:

Cindyl,  Even tho' I knew I had "a problem," I still was a little stunned to hear that I had CANCER, because both times I had the false sense of security of having had recent scans that were "all clear."  Ha!  Guess not.  In your case, as quick as they usually are to jab a leather punch (er, core-needle biopsy tool, I mean) it is surprising that they didn't biopsy that scar tissue, just to be on the safe side.

Dx 6/24/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Nov 30, 2012 12:10PM elimar wrote:

I've been a busy little Middle already this morning.  My PET on Weds. caused some commotion over some uptake in my rt. thyroid.  Just went for US to find out if it is nodule (no biggie) or node (not good.)  The tech "unofficially" felt it was nodule.  Great!  Who cares about a little nodule that they might check every now and then in the future?  Now while I was at the Imaging Center, I got a copy of the PET report.  No surprises.  Uptake for rectal area, of course.  Liver was clear.  Big news that the (eek!) enlarged lymph node in my treatment-side chest had no uptake at all.  Yip, yip, yippee!  Time to lace up my Happy Dance shoes.

                                                             

Dx 6/24/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Nov 30, 2012 12:35PM chachamom wrote:

Yeah!! Eli! I'm happy dancing with you!

Jill. Age 59. "Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats." - Voltaire. No chemo/herceptin and no radiation because the largest of multi focal tumors was 3mm

Dx 3/12/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage Ia, Grade 2, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+Surgery 04/03/2012 Mastectomy (Right)Hormonal Therapy 05/30/2012 TamoxifenSurgery 11/09/2012 Prophylactic Mastectomy (Left); Reconstruction: DIEP flap (Both)Surgery 10/07/2013 Reconstruction: Nipple reconstruction (Both)
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Nov 30, 2012 01:19PM iatigger wrote:

Happy Dance here too for you Eli!!

Dx 9/17/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage Ib, Grade 2, 0/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 10/15/2012 Mastectomy (Right); Prophylactic Mastectomy (Left); Reconstruction: Tissue expander placement (Both)Hormonal Therapy 10/30/2012 Tamoxifen
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Nov 30, 2012 02:01PM elimar wrote:

More info. than you needed to know dept.:

So, remember when a lot of us were comparing whether we had to "gown up" to get rads, or if it was more of a take-off-your-top-and-hop-onto-the-table kind of operation, with some of us covering with a towel for modesty?  Well, for the rads I am about to get now, it is literally DROP YOUR DRAWERS.  Just had the dry-run today and they even said I could keep my shoes on even, just hike the drawers down.  I know it seems kind of weird, but I have to say it is quick this way.

I got my same (favorite) tech from last time and as he led me to the room he pointed out it would be about the same as before except we are using a room at the opposite end of the hall this time.  My reply to him was, "That's o.k., because you are working on the opposite end of ME this time."  Har-de-har!

Cancer could be quite hilarious if it wasn't for all that life-threatening business.

Dx 6/24/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Nov 30, 2012 03:21PM vanstrada54 wrote:

Just for the record .Why is  it automatically   assumed that I  have quit    and thrown in the  towel,closed off all options ,am stubborn , etc ,etc    just because I hate the thought of poisoning  my body  ?  Most of my life  I  have researched  and studied   and learnt   how to  avoid chemicals  and finding  alternatives attempting to living a healthy   life so I can enjoy  it  . Now i just have to sit  quietly  and    give permission  for this  awful toxic poison to be   administered  to me  ? That  sucks big time    and goes against everything I  have learnt  .   So  yes  I hate the thought but  at the moment  supposedly  I   am in the position of  LOOKING into  all my options  .6 weeks from diagnosis  to   this point  is not  long in the grand scheme of things . I  see the oncologist next week   and they will   tell me   what  they  think is the best  for me and what is available .And just for the record  in the disaster at Grantham    there were  many times  when   my husband and  I should  have died  in fact  at one stage  we said our goodbyes to each other  as when the helicopters went away    we could not see how on earth they  would rescue  us ! They had to go away  and   sort out their options as to what was the best way to save  us  !  Having  been diagnosed with cancer  is soooo much like the tsunami that hit us    with all that  implies . Life is very precious to me  and i  have no intentions to just   throw it away .This is why I   am on this forum   looking for    knowledge   so I can   do what is the best  for me and hopefully  making the future  treatment of  cancer better  for my daughters  and   granddaughters. Have a nice day .

Dx IDC, 5cm, Grade 2, 2/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Nov 30, 2012 03:29PM vanstrada54 wrote:

Thanks for all the advice   and wishing you all the  best futures  you can achieve  .

Dx IDC, 5cm, Grade 2, 2/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Nov 30, 2012 03:32PM vanstrada54 wrote:

How do  I leave this  group ? I have been to my profile  and I can't see how to  leave ?

Dx IDC, 5cm, Grade 2, 2/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Nov 30, 2012 04:10PM TAB55 wrote:

Eli: You make me laugh!  I'm joining you in the happy dance.

Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim. Nora Ephron

Dx 4/19/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIb, Grade 1, 2/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 05/25/2012 Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph Node Removal: Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Radiation Therapy 07/24/2012 ExternalHormonal Therapy 09/17/2012 Tamoxifen
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Nov 30, 2012 04:12PM TAB55 wrote:

vanstrada: Click on one of the blue bars (e.g. All Topics, Active Topics, My Favorite Topics, etc) on the left hand of your screen to leave a particular discussion.

Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim. Nora Ephron

Dx 4/19/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIb, Grade 1, 2/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 05/25/2012 Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph Node Removal: Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Radiation Therapy 07/24/2012 ExternalHormonal Therapy 09/17/2012 Tamoxifen
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Nov 30, 2012 04:51PM barsco1963 wrote:

Eli - hooray for the good news - dance away my friend! Your sense of humour in all of this is fabulous! (working on the opposite end of ME-lol) I hope you never lose that.

Humour is life's greatest shock absorber!

Dx 5/30/2011, IDC, 4cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, 21/29 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2-Hormonal Therapy 07/25/2011 Tamoxifen
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Nov 30, 2012 04:54PM, edited Nov 30, 2012 04:57PM by elimar

vanstrada54, Should you happen to still be around...I don't think anyone had made those assumptions of you.  You struck me as someone who did not, as yet, have all of the information you needed about treatment options and perhaps wanted to hear the real stories and real choices that had already been made by women who had been in your position recently.  We ALL know that chemo is poison, believe me.  Cancer is a near-relentless disease.  Is it any wonder that it takes some awful, nasty stuff to fight it?  If you want a kinder, gentler way to attempt fighting it, maybe something on one of the alternative threads would suit you.  The successes of those remedies are spurious, but all things are possible in a never-say-never kind of way.  You already know that no doctor will advise you in that direction.  Hope you find what you're looking for.  I wish you nothing but clarity in your decision making. 

Dx 6/24/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Nov 30, 2012 04:56PM Momine wrote:

Eli, glad to hear the good news on lymph, liver and thyroid.

Vanstrada, it is very hard to submit to the poison, nobody is going to argue about that. 

Dx 6/1/2011, ILC, 5cm, Stage IIIb, Grade 2, 7/23 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Chemotherapy 06/20/2011 Cytoxan, Ellence, fluorouracil, TaxotereSurgery 09/13/2011 Mastectomy (Both)Radiation Therapy 01/09/2012 ExternalSurgery 03/08/2012 Prophylactic Ovary Removal (Both)Hormonal Therapy 04/01/2012 Femara
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Nov 30, 2012 07:14PM Cindyl wrote:

I want to be cut, burned, and poisoned said no one ever.

Stay calm, have courage and watch for signs.

Dx 2/11/2012, IDC, 3cm, Grade 1, 0/7 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 03/01/2012 Lumpectomy (Right); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection, Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Right)Radiation Therapy 04/16/2012 ExternalHormonal Therapy 05/23/2012 Tamoxifen
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Nov 30, 2012 08:34PM Dianarose wrote:

Eli- glad everything else is fine. It's nice you still have your sense of humor. It's how we get through it some times.

When I went to my MO on Thursday(after boob deflation) the nurse wanted to weigh me. I said,"how the hell could I have gained a pound when I just had my boob deflated. The girl at the desk couldn't stop laughing.

There is one thing that BC can't rob us of and that is who we are inside. It has changed our appearances and has on occasion broken our spirit, but we are still who we are. We do see things through a different set of eyes now, but I refuse not to be me.

I made dam decorated Christmast cookies at work from 7-4. I have to do it all again tomorrow. One lady came in and bought 141.00 worth of cookies. I work in a very wealthy area. George Bush Sr's summer house is just down the street.

My mapping went ok on Thursday. Much quicker than it was 8 yrs ago. I did have to get 2 new tats though. Now I have 5. Trial run on Monday and then I start radiation on Tuesday. I just want to get it done with. I did take 2 xanax prior to the scan. I probably should have just taken one. When I got to work I was still a little loopy.

Hope everyone has a great weekend. 

6/10/13 mets to ovary now stage IV

Dx 3/22/2012, ILC, 1cm, Stage IIIc, Grade 2, 17/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Chemotherapy 05/31/2012 Cytoxan, fluorouracil, methotrexateRadiation Therapy 12/03/2012 3-D conformal external beam radiationHormonal Therapy 08/10/2013 Aromasin
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Nov 30, 2012 10:03PM Loral wrote:

Elimar, Thanks for your input. I'm still in the not sure what I feel about all this stage.  How do I sign on to adjuvant online without being a medical professional?? Thanks again.

Oncotype DX 34....When NOTHING is sure, EVERYTHING is possible ,so NEVER, EVER, GIVE UP HOPE!!

Dx 9/11/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-Surgery 10/09/2012 Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Hormonal Therapy 12/13/2012 Tamoxifen
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Nov 30, 2012 11:59PM marlegal wrote:

LorAll, everyone handles the side effects differently whether from chemo or from rads ... but we DID handle them. I just can't see myself going through life wondering "what if I hadn't done that" if my doctors recommended a course of treatment. I'm sorry, don't mean to be harsh, but we're honest in here.

"We are all just walking each other home."

Dx 8/24/2005, IDC, 2cm, Stage II, 1/13 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 1, 2012 12:51AM, edited Dec 1, 2012 12:58AM by Valjean

E ~~ Yip, Yip, Yipee!!!!!!

Love the good news.

Hang in there gal!

Hugs

♥ RIP MELISSA ♥ ~Lumpectomy SNB~Oncotype DX 14~finished Rads x33, 2.19.09~Aromasin started 2.20.09

Dx 11/5/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 1, 2012 12:56AM jabal wrote:

I am new to the forum but was very inspired by your post.  thank you.....I just had my biopsy and get results in a few days

Dx 12/11/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IIa, Grade 1, 1/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 1, 2012 08:36AM barsco1963 wrote:

Dianarose - I agree with your statement. With spirits broken and physical appearance altered, we are still the same person on the inside. We need to be determined to not let cancer take that away.

Welcome jabal - Sorry that you are here, but you will find great support, encouragement, lots of laughter, tears and incredible knowledge from everyone. Best of luck for good results on your biopsy - let us know how you make out.

Humour is life's greatest shock absorber!

Dx 5/30/2011, IDC, 4cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, 21/29 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2-Hormonal Therapy 07/25/2011 Tamoxifen
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Dec 1, 2012 08:39AM TAB55 wrote:

Jabal: Welcome, and I'm hoping you'll get good news from your biopsy.

Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim. Nora Ephron

Dx 4/19/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIb, Grade 1, 2/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 05/25/2012 Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph Node Removal: Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Radiation Therapy 07/24/2012 ExternalHormonal Therapy 09/17/2012 Tamoxifen
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Dec 1, 2012 09:20AM elimar wrote:

LorAll,  Sign on that you ARE a medical professional.  Yes, really.  I was able to get access that way.  It's the kind of little white lie where you will not really morally compromise yourself or wind up in hell, so don't worry.  Innocent

Jabal,  We will be very happy if your results turn out B9 and you don't have to become a card-carrying member around here.  You are welcome to pass your time with us...we all know just waiting to hear is sooooo nerve-wracking.  Do you have family history of B/C?

Dx 6/24/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 1, 2012 09:38AM elimar wrote:

Yet another port question?  Assuming my port heals up to where it no longer hurts...is it o.k. to have the bra strap go across it?  That is right where my strap hits.  I have been wearing a criss-cross bra these past few days (or none at home) and I don't know yet whether to go bra shopping or if I will be able to wear my regular ones once I heal up?

Dx 6/24/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 1, 2012 11:44AM sheila888 wrote:

Elimar....i know i shouldn't make statements like this but.....

Port was the best thing ever happened to me during my chemo......

I'm looking at the scar and honestly don't remember if i had any issues with my ELECTRIC OUTLET....

Yes I named it....Wink

Is it still swollen or you can actually see the port?

Sorry...i can't come out with an answer....see how comfortable you are with the strip going over .

good Luck to you my friend.....♥

Sheila♥

Dx 4/8/2005, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+
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Dec 1, 2012 12:02PM chachamom wrote:

Eli....how can someone so funny (LOL!) also be soooo wise! 

Welcome Jabal!  I hope your biopsy is B9!!!!  But you will find the most incredible and encouraging ladies in this forum.  I'm so grateful for the laughter when able, the encouragement when needed, and the information and wisdom so freely shared. 

Jill. Age 59. "Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats." - Voltaire. No chemo/herceptin and no radiation because the largest of multi focal tumors was 3mm

Dx 3/12/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage Ia, Grade 2, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+Surgery 04/03/2012 Mastectomy (Right)Hormonal Therapy 05/30/2012 TamoxifenSurgery 11/09/2012 Prophylactic Mastectomy (Left); Reconstruction: DIEP flap (Both)Surgery 10/07/2013 Reconstruction: Nipple reconstruction (Both)
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Dec 1, 2012 12:06PM elimar wrote:

I wonder how Sherryc is feeling today after having her 2nd recon. to fix the 1st recon.?   How you doin', Sherry?

Dx 6/24/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 1, 2012 12:24PM elimar wrote:

Barsco (and Dianarose),  My spirit came back stronger after my first go-round with cancer, and it's a good thing it did.  I feel stronger heading into C/C treatment than I did for B/C treatment.  'Course they haven't poisoned me with chemo yet, so I may be changing my tune any day now.  Anyone who has ever gone thru' an ordeal always comes out on the other side with a more accurate picture of their inner strength.  Sure, it's all fine and dandy if you turn out stronger than you thought, but there is no shame if you find out the opposite.  Then, you just have to be realistic about what you can handle and accept or ask for help.  The GOAL is to GET THROUGH A TOUGH TIME, and don't be too comcerned how you do that.  I like to apply the Malcolm X approach, to get to my goal "BY WHATEVER MEANS NECESSARY."  (Although I'm sure he could never forsee that his words would be helping a middle-aged cancer lady thru' her treatment.  Oh, the times, they are a-changin'.)

Dx 6/24/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 1, 2012 02:25PM LindaKR wrote:

Eli - my port was put in the same time as my MX, it was a little sore for a couple of weeks, and would sometimes get a little irritated, kind of achy feeling while I had it, but only now and then.  My seatbelt and bra strap did cross it and would sometimes irritate it, but it was fine - and no more than they irritate my radiated clavicle on the other side.  I was sooooooooo happy with my port, I'm know as the port advocate at the cancer center where I volunteer, I bring it up to everyone, especially those getting long term treatment or those that are hard sticks with IV's.  It was a big blessing for me.

And Eli - CONGRATS on your results, I love the picture of the happy dance. 

For the lady asking about rads, Lorall, there was nothing that was not tolerable about radiation, or chemo, it was all doable.  Not pleasant or fun, but doable.  And even though I was one that thought if I was diagnosed with cancer I wouldn't have chemo, I'm very happy with my decisions, including my decision to stay on the AI, even though it has caused disabling side effects for me.  But for me, I was almost assured of recurrence or mets without treatments, and each treatment made a huge difference in my long term survival.

We each have to decide my quality of decision - I felt that the choices I made were the right ones for me at this point in my life.  I might have made different ones if the the circumstances had been different. 

I too have claimed that I was a medical professional to get access to some of the resources available!

Vanstrada - if you're still here, I don't think that anyone meant to put your down or offend you about your decisions, they were just honestly and completely, letting you know why they chose what they did and the feelings and emotions that they have about their decision.  Best of luck, it isn't an easy decision to make. 

Linda

Modified Radical MX w/axillary dissection; 6xTCH, Hercpetin for a year, Rads, trying 3rd AI Aromasin. No Reconstruction. Lymphedema.

Dx 3/19/2010, IDC, 4cm, Stage IIIa, Grade 2, 5/18 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+Surgery 04/02/2010 Mastectomy (Left); Lymph Node Removal: Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Chemotherapy 05/15/2010 carboplatin, TaxotereTargeted Therapy 05/15/2010 HerceptinHormonal Therapy 09/15/2010 AromasinRadiation Therapy 09/25/2010 External
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Dec 1, 2012 02:59PM vanstrada54 wrote:

Okayyyyyy . Major deep breath  here ! By the very title of our  group here  we are middle aged .  With  middle age  comes  a major   roller coaster ride  !  Just put my  pouty little    tantrum  up  to  PTSD  middle aged    overwhelmed   lopsider ! I do appreciate all the advice  you give me  . I have always  loved  Fords   and  if you  were advising me to  give up my Ford  for  something else   You would  REALLY have to convince me  ! Lol  What works for  me is waht I need to learn .   Grantham took all that away from me   and having to  regroup  and start all over again   with the added  attraction on major memory loss  in middle age  makes  for  a very interesting ride ! When I was younger  I enjoyed the ride    nowadays I get   travel sickness ! lol   ,Thanks for your kind words   . I was not offended  just  overwhelmed The journey continues .

Dx IDC, 5cm, Grade 2, 2/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

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