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All TopicsForum: "Middle Age" 40-60(ish) Years with Breast Cancer → Topic: MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

Topic: MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

Forum: "Middle Age" 40-60(ish) Years with Breast Cancer — Meet others in this age-range who share similar life issues.

Posted on: Aug 21, 2009 10:25PM, edited 6 hours ago by elimar

elimar wrote:

HAPPY EASTER!

I started this thread for "middle-aged" women. At the time, we didn't have our own category on the pull-down Forum menu. The ages 40-60 in the header are unofficial--we don't "card" anyone, wink, wink---so if you are close in age it's meant for you as well. We aren't young with small children. Many of us have just gotten to the stage where we were all set to enjoy the freedom of our kids being grown when, Bam!, we got breast cancer instead. We aren't retired yet, so we get to juggle cancer and a job. We might have to care for an elderly parent on days when we feel like we could use a caregiver ourselves!

(BTW, those are general statements, NOT a checklist for belonging to this group. Even I don't fit that to a tee, so it's fine if you have some variation!!!)

Our disease unites us with ALL the strong sisters on this site, but here we can bring up some topics to share with others in the "middle."

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Dec 3, 2012 01:15PM Eph3_12 wrote:

van-the disease is vicious & cruel, that's why!

God Bless Your Day-Joni2

Dx 4/2/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 3, 2012 01:36PM, edited Dec 3, 2012 03:40PM by elimar

Well, I have had my chemo pump for an hour now and I it! 

It weighs a couple lbs. and is in an awkward carrying pouch that will be a millstone around my neck for the next 6 weeks.  It beeps and makes a whirring sound, and will be doing that day and night.  It came with about 100 dos and don'ts.  It's like having a dictator in a pouch.  I cannot imagine wearing this outside my house with any kind of comfort so maybe I won't be going to see The Hobbit after all.  Maybe I'll just become a crazy recluse and watch Ice Station Zebra continually. 

Elimar is having a bad day.  When Elimar speaks of herself in the third person, can an implosion be far behind?

Dx 6/24/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 3, 2012 01:42PM Cindyl wrote:

Elimar - So sorry the pump is a PITA. Hopefully after a bit of time you'll grow accustomed to it.  I do have to laugh about "dictator in a pouch" but I know it's not fun to have a 24/7 mechanical buddy... I'm never happier than when I take of my hearing aids and le gear and I suspect that the pump is even more intrusive.

Stay calm, have courage and watch for signs.

Dx 2/11/2012, IDC, 3cm, Grade 1, 0/7 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 03/01/2012 Lumpectomy (Right); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection, Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Right)Radiation Therapy 04/16/2012 ExternalHormonal Therapy 05/23/2012 Tamoxifen
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Dec 3, 2012 02:14PM, edited Dec 3, 2012 02:15PM by Eph3_12

you need to get the dimensions to Barbe &/or Meece ASAP & have them sew you up a better pouch for the dictator-1 with padding & lots of lightweight bling! 

Maybe this would be a good time to look into medical marijuanaCool

God Bless Your Day-Joni2

Dx 4/2/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 3, 2012 02:30PM juneaubugg wrote:

Elimar: (((HUGS)))

"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage. Rage against the dying of the light." ...Dylan Thomas. (Oncotype #22)

Dx 5/18/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 06/26/2012 Mastectomy (Right); Lymph Node Removal (Right); Reconstruction: Tissue expander placement (Right)Chemotherapy 08/10/2012 Adriamycin, CytoxanHormonal Therapy 11/03/2012 TamoxifenSurgery 11/29/2012 Reconstruction: Breast implants (permanent) (Both)
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Dec 3, 2012 02:38PM juneaubugg wrote:

So ladies I've been reading here for months, but felt like an outsider. Now I realize that is bullshit and you will all welcome me... SO HERE I AM! 44, riddled with hot flashes, and trying to move my head into the post active treatment stage of my BC And not live in fear of recurrence. I saw a long term member of this group pass this summer; felt all the love you all sent with her... This disease scares the fuck outta me... But I'm trying to leave any negative feelings in my rear view mirror.

"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage. Rage against the dying of the light." ...Dylan Thomas. (Oncotype #22)

Dx 5/18/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 06/26/2012 Mastectomy (Right); Lymph Node Removal (Right); Reconstruction: Tissue expander placement (Right)Chemotherapy 08/10/2012 Adriamycin, CytoxanHormonal Therapy 11/03/2012 TamoxifenSurgery 11/29/2012 Reconstruction: Breast implants (permanent) (Both)
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Dec 3, 2012 03:18PM, edited Dec 3, 2012 03:19PM by elimar

Oh, Eph, if only I lived in one of those happy-go-lucky stoner states.  I bet if I helped myself to some on the down-low, I'd be the unlucky idiot to get the year in jail AND they'd make me take the "little dictator" chemo pump in there with me.

juneaubugg,  I remember you!  It's just that this is a long thread and some of the people do go back as far as the first year, but anyone can be as "insider" as they wish here.  Best just to assert yourself and jump in.  Moving into the "maintenance" phase is weird at first.  You almost feel like you should still be doing MORE to the cancer, but before long you settle down and then the day finally comes when your head hits the pillow at night and you think, OMG, I didn't give B/C a single thought today.  You are not far enough out yet, but you WILL get there.  I see you just had your recon.  How's the recovery going?  And last, but not least, that is quite the stylish B&W avatar you have there.

Dx 6/24/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 3, 2012 03:33PM chachamom wrote:

Eli.....((((hugs!!!))))).
I agree with EphM. Maybe a padded, sound proofing pocket or bag???
I love that even in your " tantrums", you sense of humor prevails! "The little dictator"....does it have a mustache? Lol

Jill. Age 59. "Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats." - Voltaire. No chemo/herceptin and no radiation because the largest of multi focal tumors was 3mm

Dx 3/12/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage Ia, Grade 2, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+Surgery 04/03/2012 Mastectomy (Right)Hormonal Therapy 05/30/2012 TamoxifenSurgery 11/09/2012 Prophylactic Mastectomy (Left); Reconstruction: DIEP flap (Both)Surgery 10/07/2013 Reconstruction: Nipple reconstruction (Both)
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Dec 3, 2012 03:39PM Loral wrote:

I'm very careful when I shave, very numb under there, the back of my arm also itches besides being numb..Surgeon never told me it would be this way, MO says it's permanent.Great, guess I have to live with it. Where do I find out about PT, know one mentioned it to me...Thanks ladies.

Oncotype DX 34....When NOTHING is sure, EVERYTHING is possible ,so NEVER, EVER, GIVE UP HOPE!!

Dx 9/11/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-Surgery 10/09/2012 Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Hormonal Therapy 12/13/2012 Tamoxifen
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Dec 3, 2012 03:58PM luvmygoats wrote:

OMG - Drinking Suprep for colonoscopy.  Smells WAYYYY better than it tastes.  About to float from all the liquids.  Been chugging apple cider.  Down the hatch.

Elimar - I can just picture your dictator in the pouch.  Had a hospice pt on a home PCA pump.  Bet it's similar.  If I might ask why the constant supply of chemo drugs?

SNB & Lumpectomy 2/21/12. Opted for no Oncotype due to very favorable pathology. 90% ER+. Rads finished 5/23/12. 28 + 5 boosts

Dx 2/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 02/21/2012 Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Radiation Therapy 04/09/2012 ExternalHormonal Therapy 06/08/2012 Femara
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Dec 3, 2012 04:01PM Eph3_12 wrote:

E- how about medicinal tequila & lime? whiskey & coke? vodka & tonic? gin & vermouth?

God Bless Your Day-Joni2

Dx 4/2/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 3, 2012 04:05PM luvmygoats wrote:

Elimar - Forgot to wish you all the best of all as you navigate new territory.

SNB & Lumpectomy 2/21/12. Opted for no Oncotype due to very favorable pathology. 90% ER+. Rads finished 5/23/12. 28 + 5 boosts

Dx 2/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 02/21/2012 Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Radiation Therapy 04/09/2012 ExternalHormonal Therapy 06/08/2012 Femara
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Dec 3, 2012 04:44PM Eph3_12 wrote:

hey Luv, I had the prep last week for the lovely colonoscopy! Best of luck!

God Bless Your Day-Joni2

Dx 4/2/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 3, 2012 05:04PM elimar wrote:

Eph, I can tell it's still happy hour where you are!

luvmygoats,  I think I am on continuous infusion because this drug (5-FU = Fluorouracil) is supposed to work synergistically with the rads I am getting 5 days a week, which it could not do quite as well if I got a big once a week dose.  It has a very short half-life.  Also, the lower dosage is supposed to cut the S/E's down to more manageable levels.  We'll see about that!

So, you are using a different prep than what Eph or I used.  I got PEG3350, which is a generic of Miralax (and tasted like mothballs.)  Eph got GoLytely, which was polyethylene glycol (just like mine) but had some bonus electrolytes in it.  She knows her way around a cocktail (as you can gather from her last couple of comments...I hear she likes her c-scope prep shaken, not stirred.)   I read that yours is sodium sulfate, potassium sulfate, & magnesium sulfate.  Guess no matter what they use, it's just bound to taste terrible.  I literally held my nose closed to get mine down the hatch.

LorAll, Any doc can write an order for you to receive PT.  However, ask in advance if they have a lymphedema specialist on the therapy staff and go to that one. 

Dx 6/24/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 3, 2012 05:34PM Outdamnedspot wrote:

Hey Juneau...good to see you hop on over to this fine group. Lots of good humour here!

Give in, give up or give it all you've got!

Dx 8/29/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage Ib, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 10/01/2012 Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Hormonal Therapy 11/13/2012 TamoxifenRadiation Therapy 12/05/2012 External
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Dec 3, 2012 05:38PM vanstrada54 wrote:

Totally agree !

Dx IDC, 5cm, Grade 2, 2/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 3, 2012 05:57PM LindaKR wrote:

Elimar - I've seen those pumps, they don't look very comfy, but they do a great job!

Underarm laser hair removal - I'd run that past my doc and LE therapist.

Juneau - welcome!

Modified Radical MX w/axillary dissection; 6xTCH, Hercpetin for a year, Rads, trying 3rd AI Aromasin. No Reconstruction. Lymphedema.

Dx 3/19/2010, IDC, 4cm, Stage IIIa, Grade 2, 5/18 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+Surgery 04/02/2010 Mastectomy (Left); Lymph Node Removal: Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Chemotherapy 05/15/2010 carboplatin, TaxotereTargeted Therapy 05/15/2010 HerceptinHormonal Therapy 09/15/2010 AromasinRadiation Therapy 09/25/2010 External
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Dec 3, 2012 05:58PM luvmygoats wrote:

I got something in a box called Suprep. I've given plenty of pts Miralax but never tasted it. I don't think it has much taste. Not too many have objected to it. This was salty and just nasty -  sodium sulfate, potassium sulfate, magnesium sulfate. Oddly enough didn't smell half bad.  Had barium enema 15 years ago and the prep was intense but just not the nasty. Thank goodness I got a bottle of apple cider. Best idea. I have all kinds of clear sodas but the thought of gas on top of this - OWEE. At least I'm not hungry now. And have to do it again at 5 AM. Nothing in there now so what's going to be in there at 5 AM??? I don't seen my DH enjoying this at all next month; queasy stomach.

Eph's cocktails sound mighty good. Along with my mango jello. Think I get propofol not Versed. CRNA administered. To be an RN I am the biggest chicken of all about anesthesia.

Makes sense about your chemo. Not an area I know much about. Pain/poop/falling/dementia right up my alley!! Or at least it was. I know on some groups I said this. Quit my job Friday.  Loved hospice, loved most of my pts, did not love the co I worked for. Will be beans/rice at Super Saver for this couple.

Just realized have not been up for about 7-8 minutes. Maybe slowing up. Gees, hope so.  Would like some sleep.

You and the mustachioed one attached to you have a restful night.

Welcome Juneau.  Minimal SEs to everyone tonight.

SNB & Lumpectomy 2/21/12. Opted for no Oncotype due to very favorable pathology. 90% ER+. Rads finished 5/23/12. 28 + 5 boosts

Dx 2/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 02/21/2012 Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Radiation Therapy 04/09/2012 ExternalHormonal Therapy 06/08/2012 Femara
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Dec 3, 2012 06:27PM Dianarose wrote:

Eli- I have never heard of a chemo pump that you have on you for weeks. It doesn't sound pleasant at all. I feel for you.

I went for my dry run for rads and I wanted to run. I am freaked out that I have to do this again. I get my first round tomorrow. I am going to buy 28 pieces of candy that I like and eat one everyday and when the candy is done so am I. Although I was thinking that I might switch it up and line up 28 shot glasses on the breakfast bar and go that route instead.

6/10/13 mets to ovary now stage IV

Dx 3/22/2012, ILC, 1cm, Stage IIIc, Grade 2, 17/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Chemotherapy 05/31/2012 Cytoxan, fluorouracil, methotrexateRadiation Therapy 12/03/2012 3-D conformal external beam radiationHormonal Therapy 08/10/2013 Aromasin
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Dec 3, 2012 06:32PM LindaKR wrote:

DianaRose - I decided it was my daily spa treatment, kind of like lying in a tanning bed, while it was "tanning" my chest (and it did), it was killing any residual, nasty, little cancer cells that had decided to stay around.  The worst part is that it's every day.  I like the idea of the shot glasses!

Modified Radical MX w/axillary dissection; 6xTCH, Hercpetin for a year, Rads, trying 3rd AI Aromasin. No Reconstruction. Lymphedema.

Dx 3/19/2010, IDC, 4cm, Stage IIIa, Grade 2, 5/18 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+Surgery 04/02/2010 Mastectomy (Left); Lymph Node Removal: Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Chemotherapy 05/15/2010 carboplatin, TaxotereTargeted Therapy 05/15/2010 HerceptinHormonal Therapy 09/15/2010 AromasinRadiation Therapy 09/25/2010 External
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Dec 3, 2012 06:33PM firework1068 wrote:

You are all brave, beautiful and very entertaining bunch! You could almost call yourselves "eccentric " .....now that's something to accomplish in life!!
Blessings~Peaceful~Sleep. Nite Nite Sisters, Lorraine

Dx 6/2/2011, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+Surgery 06/27/2011 Reconstruction: Tissue expander placement (Both)Chemotherapy 08/08/2011 Adriamycin, Cytoxan, TaxotereTargeted Therapy 08/08/2011 HerceptinHormonal Therapy 01/01/2012 ArimidexSurgery 03/31/2012 Reconstruction: Breast implants (permanent) (Both)Surgery 10/31/2012 Reconstruction: Breast implants (permanent) (Both)Surgery 05/08/2013 Reconstruction (Both)Surgery 08/23/2013 Mastectomy (Both); Prophylactic Mastectomy (Both); Reconstruction: Nipple reconstruction (Both)
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Dec 3, 2012 07:25PM Cindyl wrote:

Dianarose - the rads "advent calandar" is a great idea.  This will pass and quicker than you can imagine (of course I sleep walked through the last 25 treatments or so...) But strangly, I missed it and missed my techs and nurse when I was done.  It was nice to know that if I had a question, or problem, I'd be seeing the team. TODAY. They were great... that's not to say I'm signing up for another round any time soon, but it wasn't horrible, and I kind of missed slipping away from work 1/2 hour early every day.

Stay calm, have courage and watch for signs.

Dx 2/11/2012, IDC, 3cm, Grade 1, 0/7 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 03/01/2012 Lumpectomy (Right); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection, Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Right)Radiation Therapy 04/16/2012 ExternalHormonal Therapy 05/23/2012 Tamoxifen
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Dec 3, 2012 09:54PM juneaubugg wrote:

Eli; that avatar was taken at the Making Strides Walk on October 21. my group was name after the "2012 Sisters" forum. we raised $2,900.

I see a few of you are back in treatment.... THAT SUCKS!!!!! Eli; 5-FU!? am I the only one who noticed the F U in the meds name?! just saying!

yes, my recon was least week and I'm still adjusting to the newly sized girls. I went up two sizes....so this is what its like to not to be able to see your belly from above!?

my big battle right now are these hot flashes! I went on effexor almost two weeks ago, but its not helping. in fact, I think they may be worse! I don't know if I should wait and give it more time or just give up and get out while I can since this is so hard to week off of. Anyone have any experience with this?

"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage. Rage against the dying of the light." ...Dylan Thomas. (Oncotype #22)

Dx 5/18/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 06/26/2012 Mastectomy (Right); Lymph Node Removal (Right); Reconstruction: Tissue expander placement (Right)Chemotherapy 08/10/2012 Adriamycin, CytoxanHormonal Therapy 11/03/2012 TamoxifenSurgery 11/29/2012 Reconstruction: Breast implants (permanent) (Both)
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Dec 3, 2012 10:17PM Joanne_53 wrote:

Juneau,
One of the s/e of Effexor is excessive sweating .. I don't think that it is helping me but that being said .... I was taking it at night and switched to morning and my flashes are more at night now and the sleeplessness is greater ... I am going back to night tine and see what happens.

Joanne - Onco DX score 12

Dx 12/8/2011, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIa, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 01/11/2012 Lumpectomy (Right); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection (Right)Hormonal Therapy 04/09/2012 TamoxifenRadiation Therapy 04/10/2012 External
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Dec 3, 2012 10:24PM juneaubugg wrote:

humm... I'm not just sweating though.... its a full on hot flash. I'm so confused.... I just want to be frickin' normal again! not 44 with 15-20 more years of hot flashes to look forward to. aargh... another gift from breast cancer. thanks Joanne

"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage. Rage against the dying of the light." ...Dylan Thomas. (Oncotype #22)

Dx 5/18/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 06/26/2012 Mastectomy (Right); Lymph Node Removal (Right); Reconstruction: Tissue expander placement (Right)Chemotherapy 08/10/2012 Adriamycin, CytoxanHormonal Therapy 11/03/2012 TamoxifenSurgery 11/29/2012 Reconstruction: Breast implants (permanent) (Both)
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Dec 4, 2012 12:00AM vanstrada54 wrote:

Definitely  not much to look forward to is there ?

Dx IDC, 5cm, Grade 2, 2/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Dec 4, 2012 01:07AM Momine wrote:

Joanne, welcome, and I wanted to say that the hot flashes have a good chance of settling down. 6 months ago they were driving me nuts, and this past week I realized they were fewer and less intense. So, hang in there.

Eli, that is terrible with the dictator. I would most sincerely hate that, so I feel for you. I am thinking it is probably so bad that putting some cheetos in the pouch is not going to fix it? Thing is though, if you are going to become a recluse, I think you should go all the way and become a crazy cat lady or something ;)

Dx 6/1/2011, ILC, 5cm, Stage IIIb, Grade 2, 7/23 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Chemotherapy 06/20/2011 Cytoxan, Ellence, fluorouracil, TaxotereSurgery 09/13/2011 Mastectomy (Both)Radiation Therapy 01/09/2012 ExternalSurgery 03/08/2012 Prophylactic Ovary Removal (Both)Hormonal Therapy 04/01/2012 Femara
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Dec 4, 2012 01:09AM Momine wrote:

Van, I disagree. I have lots to look forward to and I am enjoying my life, hot flashes and all. 

Dx 6/1/2011, ILC, 5cm, Stage IIIb, Grade 2, 7/23 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Chemotherapy 06/20/2011 Cytoxan, Ellence, fluorouracil, TaxotereSurgery 09/13/2011 Mastectomy (Both)Radiation Therapy 01/09/2012 ExternalSurgery 03/08/2012 Prophylactic Ovary Removal (Both)Hormonal Therapy 04/01/2012 Femara
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Dec 4, 2012 03:14AM mumito wrote:

Just got caught up on this thread.

Eli ((hugs)) we are all here to help you through this latest battle.I really trully hate this #### disease.

Did not realize that chemo drugs could be taken home I don't think they do that here in Canada(i could be wrong)

Try to get as much rest as you can.

Dx 4/23/2008, IDC, 5cm, Stage IIb, Grade 3, 2/15 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Dec 4, 2012 07:02AM elimar wrote:

Joanne53, Welcome!  You have come to "Home of the Hot Flash."  It's just ongoing here.  You can bet there is at least one sistah out there flashing at this very moment..  Allow me to be the first to wish you a Happy One Year Cancerversary.  (Even tho' it is later this week, I might forget, so better to get it out early.)

Momine,  It might have to be "bird-lady" or "fish-lady" because cats = ah-choo!

firework1068,  I don't know if "eccentric" is a label one ever puts on oneself, it's usually others that make that call.  To the eccentric, the behavior and thinking would all seem very normal, wouldn't it?   Just like "crazy," but without the disassociation and/or endangerment.

juneaubugg,  Pay attention to what sets off the worst flashes (like maybe a big meal, etc.) and try to avoid that.  You might need a bedroom fan, even in Winter.  Some do find that after a few months, the flashes settle down into something more manageable.  Hope it is that way for you.

Dx 6/24/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

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