Topic: freaking out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Atlanta,

I totally understand your "feeaking out description"...anyone with a diagnosis of breast cancer who does not "freak out" to some degree is someone counselors should be concerned about!

I remember waking up about 4 am for months and shaking at the thought "I've got breast cancer"......it took me awhile to get over this nightly ritual.

Hi,

Try not to worried too much!!  I  just recently found out I had breast cancer  by mistake!!  It did not show up in any test or  Mri that  I had. It was  accidentally found  by a biopsy  for calcification's.  So, actually the way I feel that I was truly blessed.  I think we that have breast cancer our blessed because it was found and we did something about it.  I wake up each morning counting my lucky stars that I am alive. I had a bilateral mastectomy on Aug 30 and now have to go on chemo. I believe that everything happens for a reason and we that have breast cancer have to learn a lesson from this.  We our survivors so please do not be so hard on yourself!!  Try to go to a support group where others have had similar situations and you will feel more in control.  Good Luck!!   

Wow, Atlantagirl - do you realize how incredibly much your body has been through in the last year?  Never mind the pregnancy alone, but to go through chemo and a hysterectomy within such a short time of having given birth, your hormones were totally flipped out!!!  Many of us believe that BC causes post traumatic stress disorder and that coupled with all you have been through, I would worry if you didn't have a reaction.  You can't go through life freaking out, but you need to react to all you have been through.  If you need help processing all of this (only a superwoman wouldn't need help), please don't hesitate to get it.

Gentle hugs to you.

Everybody who responded to your post already pretty much wrote what I would've written.  I call my freak outs the "opening of the black box".  When it opens, I found that I just have to let it be for an hour or a day, and then I can "stuff the fear back into the box" and it closes.  I have been Stage IV for just under 4 years and have been in and out of remission (NED).  I started a new medication 2 months ago and have another month to go before I get scanned.  There is no doubt that I will panic (or "scannic" which another poster on this board coined) about a week prior to the scan until I get the results.  It's just the way it goes.  But, right now you are doing well... don't forget to enjoy it.

Also, RobinTN ...  awesome story.  it's amazing that you can be deemed so close to death one minute, and cancer free the next!!  I'm so glad your most recent treatment kicked cancer -ss.

Robin 

Hi bjw,

 Welcome,

It depends on your surgery and treatment.   I would say it depends on what your doctors say and how you feel.  I was off for about six-eight weeks then when back part time at first. In my thoughts and prayers . Any questions feel free to PM  me. 

I had a bi lat mast. with expanders and recon.

hi Atlantagirl, just my $.02...

after I finished treatment, I was an hysterical, panicked basket-case,  had these huge crying jags, I was so freaked out about leaving my 2 young kids without a mom, just thinking anything about cancer could set me off.  went and talked to a counselor, wish I could say that was the answer, but I felt like she had no clue.  after a few weeks, maybe a couple of months, things settled down for me.  maybe I got used to my new normal, or maybe I just could not sustain that level of panic long term, whatever, I started to feel better and better.  I hope you will, too.  kindly, Pat 

I too am completely hysterical and don't know how I will ever feel better.  I was intially diagnosed with DCIS -- had lumpectomy and they found 3mm tubular --was told that was good -- had sentinel node biopsy last week - was told there was a very low chance it would be positive -- now I find out there are isolated tumor cells in one of the six nodes removed -- now what?

I am so afraid I will die and feel like every time I turn around my diagnosis gets worse.   I have three children and cannot even look at them without wanting to cry -- how can they grow up without a mother.....how can I have hope --- I know you can't help me, but at least everyone here can identify with the fear I have --  Now I will probably have to do chemo and I am so afraid -- anyone have any thoughts about chemo that will make me feel better -- I am not going to make it mentally.....

Deloris - oh yikes, I'm so sorry.  There's a room here about mets and recurrence, and it seems like that'd be the place to post in order to get the most support.  I so hope things go better for you.