Topic: Got my 1st expander fill yesterday - Ouch!
- Posted on: Aug 27, 2009 12:52 pm
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 381
So, I went in to get my 1st expander fill at the PS's office yesterday. At first I thought, this will be a cinch. I've been doing really well so far and was thinking I was superwoman. LOL! Then, all of a sudden I got really nervous, broke out in a slight cold sweat - before my PS even entered the room. My sister had mentioned it wasn't too bad for her, so I kept praying I'd be the same way.
He put in the needle starting on the left - Ouch! He filled it up to 75 cc's (50 cc's felt ok, but I said to fill a little more). Then, he went to the right and filled 75 cc's on that side too. He drained about 50 cc's of body fluid from the right. It was more puffy on that side. Today I'm thinking he could have probably pulled some body fluid out of the left becuase I feel the puffiness. I was told I had to wear a sports bra that compressed me more to prevent the body fluid from building up. I was wearing tight tank tops with a shelf bra.
Overall, I am pleased with the work my PS did. The incisions/scar looks good. Now I'll start with the Mederma. He has a sense of humor, too, which helps. We laughed that maybe the non pain isn't hereditary (like my BC was), since my sister had minimal pain. :) My hubby and I both thought that my sister might have taken a pain pill prior to the procedure, when I went with her the 1st time. I only took Tylenol. Next time I'll have a friend take me to the appt because it was painful to drive home!
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2Xsenough Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 144 |
Oct 29, 2009 11:54 am
2Xsenough wrote:
Gee, Patty, is there such a thing as too perky? Geneskirt, thanks for the encouragement. This last fill of mine feels like a couple of boulders on my chest over a week later and I have another one coming in five days. Yikes! With this last fill I feel like it's bulging under my arm and when I press my arm down tight I have definite cleavage. I sure hop the PS can keep my implant out of the armpit. Your exchange will be here before you know it. Good for you. Kitty--are you doing better yet? Hope so. In some ways this process seems to have taken forever, but in another I can't believe we are reaching the end already. Cancer free and soon to be pain free. It's a miracle. Bobbi |
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typhoon55 Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 51 |
Oct 29, 2009 06:46 pm
typhoon55 wrote:
Hi everyone, newbie here. I previously posted on the exchange city for advise on what type of implant to get. History DCIS left breast 1992 and now LCIS right breast and atypical hyperplasia on left. BMX on 9/22 with TE. Question is regarding TE on previously radiated breast. It HURTS!! I only get 60cc fill each side weekly, am up to 240cc each. PS said he could lessen the amount or lengthen the time between fills. Right now I said to continue on course, get this over with. Can't sleep without medication, very moody. Maybe 4 more fills according to PS. Only good thing is that I can see "mounds" as I call them. Anybody else with advise on fills on previously radiated breasts or for the pain and muscle spasms. Valium does nothing, Percocet does little. Help...... |
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KAR Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 171 |
Oct 29, 2009 07:09 pm
KAR wrote:
Hi there typhoon55welcome to the expansion club. I didn't have rads but I think bobbi did (2xsenough). Hopefully she will post an answer for you. My fills were 50cc every 2 weeks and I seemed to tolerate that ok. I did have up to 2-7 days of muscle pain after each fill though thats why I had to slow to a fill every other week. I also have muscle relaxants that help somewhat and doing those post mx stretches seem to help some too. Since you have only about 4 more fills this will go by really quick, I promise. Good luck Everyone: sorry I haven't posted in a while glad that all are doing ok. I don't have any complaints, no pain just in a holding patern. My only complaint is that when my 7 yr old tries to hug me I poke him in the face with this hard as a rock foobie! Poor lil kid LOL! Diagnosis: 4/6/2009, DCIS, 3cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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kittycat Joined: Mar 2009 Posts: 381 |
Oct 30, 2009 12:48 am
kittycat wrote:
Thanks for the suggestions on the stretching. I'm doing much better now. The wine helps, too! :) I'm going to 550 cc's (or so) - high profile silicone implants. I have a 30 inch rib cage and wear a 34 band size. I wonder if I'll be a C cup??? It'll probably look better than my D/DD I had with augmentation. I used to be a 34B pre-augmentation and got 400 cc's. I look kind of full now - lots of cleavage and upper pole fullness, too. I'm still wearing sports bras. I should try on a regular bra, just to see. Less than 2 months away!!!! Yeah!!!! Dx 6/17/09 at 39 yrs old, DCIS, Stage 0, Grade 2, ER-/PR-, BRCA1+, bilat mast & TE recon
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pkb143 Joined: May 2009 Posts: 228 |
Oct 30, 2009 12:49 pm
pkb143 wrote:
hey, Bobbi, well, I'm thinking if the boobs are really up there and perky, they won't look like 60-year old boobs. But then again, if I'm wearing them, they'll have to be what 60-year old boobs look like. LOL typhoon, so sorry to hear you can't sleep without medication -- that alone would be enough to make me moody. I guess you've talked to your doctor about this (and hence, the medication).... someone mentioned acupuncture in another thread, maybe it would be worth a look to help relieve the muscle tension and therefore better sleep. Speaking of relaxation/sleep, I still have a gift certificate for a massage that I have to use before Dec. 31, but I'm just not sure it's going to be comfortable, especially on my stomach. Also, I think I'll try to find some Yoga exercises on DVD that might help, too. Has anyone here had a massage with TE's in, and if so, how did it go? kittycat, I'm hoping for a "C" cup, too but mine would be 38C. I'm tall (5'10") -- don't know my ribcage measurement (maybe 32"?). Although my PS says we're going up to 1200 ccs, he also said if at any point, I decide I like the way I look (wearing a bra), to tell him and we'll STOP. I just had a fill yesterday (90 ccs, which took me up to 990 ccs) and didn't sleep well last night. Today, it's not so bad -- but I'm a little bummed in that when I asked yesterday how long of a wait it was between the last fill and the exchange surgery, he said 4 months! I wasn't prepared for that; thought he would say 2. Patty B ~~ If God leads me to it, He will lead me through it.
Diagnosis: 3/18/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ |
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typhoon55 Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 51 |
Oct 30, 2009 08:04 pm
typhoon55 wrote:
Hi all, I'm now having a great day. Muscle spasms and pain have stopped. I started physical therapy today. VERY gently stretching and massage to loosen the muscle. Felt great and even went back to work. However I'm due for fill on Monday. Oh well, I get to enjoy the weekend at least. |
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pkb143 Joined: May 2009 Posts: 228 |
Oct 30, 2009 08:13 pm
pkb143 wrote:
typhoon, awesome!! Patty B ~~ If God leads me to it, He will lead me through it.
Diagnosis: 3/18/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ |
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KAR Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 171 |
Oct 30, 2009 08:57 pm
KAR wrote:
<font>Yeah typhoon, good luck Monday you will have to let us know how it goes.</font> <font>pkb: 4 months! I know you were disappointed I would be too. I did hear the longer you wait the better. I just have a feeling that my exchange is going to get rescheduled. My PS is moving offices the beginning of Dec and I'm just waiting for them to call and reschedule. Hope your pain isn't too bad </font> <font>Kitty did you try on bra's? I tried my old bra's on and its a joke these things are way to wide to fit into even my bigger bras but I was only 32/34 B, Im still wearing sports bras also. </font><font> Good luck all</font><font> </font> Diagnosis: 4/6/2009, DCIS, 3cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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pkb143 Joined: May 2009 Posts: 228 |
Oct 31, 2009 01:16 pm, edited Oct 31, 2009 01:17 PM
by pkb143
pkb143 wrote:
typhoon, can you tell us more about your physical therapy? do you have a personal therapist or are you perhaps going to a facility for this? I'm thinking of a place we have here in our city owned by our medical center; it's officially for 'rehab' and they have a therapist in place. I've just wondered if s/he would be knowledgeable about working with women who've had mastectomies or who have tissue expanders. KAR, yes, the 4-month wait is disappointing, but my husband reminded that my PS knows what he's doing, so I hope you're right about the longer you wait, the better the results. Let us know when yours gets rescheduled to. I've decided the most painful thing right now is......SNEEZING!!! OMG, I get excrutiating phantom nipple pains when that happens! ***~~is that weird, or what?~~*** Patty B ~~ If God leads me to it, He will lead me through it.
Diagnosis: 3/18/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ |
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2Xsenough Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 144 |
Oct 31, 2009 03:41 pm
2Xsenough wrote:
Aha, Patty--I HEAR you. I get the same sort of sensation. And yes, it is totaly weird. I try to press my forearms across my foobs like I did when I was trying to stop milk from letting down when I nursed my kids a lifetime ago. Who would have thought sneezing would be a problem. Phantom--I also had radiation and I'm having my fills every two weeks and only 60cc per fill. It has taken a while but now I have only one fill to go and everything looks good. I will be to 480cc after this fill and get my exchange at the end of Dec., to get it in while the deducts are met on my insurance. I hope I'm not hurrying this too much, but I trust my PS and he said it's not a problem. I purchased a bra in the size I hope to be, 36B. and it fits well except for the empty tips of the cups which I stuff with a bit of polyfil. Take care all and keep on stretching, Bobbi |
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typhoon55 Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 51 |
Oct 31, 2009 04:23 pm, edited Oct 31, 2009 04:25 PM
by typhoon55
typhoon55 wrote:
Hi again, while I was at the fill last week I had to ask the dr about the possibility of physical therapy as I know I am not standing straight, hunching over and not using my arms. He said sure it would be ok. I am going to a facility for physical therapy, which helps for all types of therapy. Therapist did know about alloderm, somewhat. She also said that since I will be having the exchange surgery she will only due minimal stretching exercises and also massage to the "mounds" and especially smoothing the scar to keep it thin and smooth. Seems to be very simple exercises and stretching, will ask PS on Monday if any restrictions for the PT. Funny thing when making next weeks appts, the receptionist asked if I minded if I had a male. I said I kinda prefer a female as part of the therapy is massaging my "breasts" and she said sorry she forgot and scheduled me for a female. I will say that the therapist did not know too much about the tissue expanders and said "wow" when she felt how big and that under my arm is getting bigger and so on. Yeah these things are not fun!! |
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2Xsenough Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 144 |
Oct 31, 2009 05:46 pm
2Xsenough wrote:
Typhoon--I forgot to mention that I use muscle relaxers after each fill for a few days. That seems to help me sleep better. Also, the TE on my old radiated side seems to expand more under my arm that on the non radiated side. And the larger I'm becoming, the more it pooches out on that side. I think he will stitch up that area at exchange. I need to ask about that. Bobbi |
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typhoon55 Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 51 |
Nov 1, 2009 11:01 am
typhoon55 wrote:
2xsenough-I also use muscle relaxers but the radiated side is still harder than the non radiated side. Funny thing is that I have to lie on my back only due to the TEs expanding in the underarm area. I can't lie down flat and when I get up I get some strong muscle spasms on both sides. Guess I just have to stay in bed-HAHA, but can't do that. Also on the old radiated side the scar is really beginning to poke out at the end near the underarm. That will have to be fixed during the exchange. |
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Adnerb Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 684 |
Nov 1, 2009 01:30 pm
Adnerb wrote:
Hi Ladies, My fills have taken a backseat to chemo side effects. I don't know if I can handle 5 more rounds of chemo. The good thing is that the PS is allowing me to sleep on my side. Is anyone here sleeping on their side? Anyone doing deadly chemo and tissue expansion at the same time? C'mon, I know I'm not the only one... Brenda S. First Dx in July, 2005. IDC <1 CM, lumpectomy, A/C and 33 rads. 2nd Dx July, 2009, 2 tumors in same breast, different paths., BMx, T/C
Diagnosis: 7/28/2009, IDC, 3cm, Stage II, Grade 3, 0/8 nodes, HER2- |
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2Xsenough Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 144 |
Nov 1, 2009 01:54 pm
2Xsenough wrote:
Oh, Brenda, I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. I can't imagine going through both processes at the same time. My prayers are with you, girl. Did you see my post earlier about hair issues with chemo? Typhoon, you sound like you are doing a lot better. There are definitly good days and crappy days throughout this whole thing. I can lay on my side only if I pull the liquid in the foob forward, then when I lay down it stays there. I notice when I get up in the morning (I have those strong contractions then too) the bulk of the TE remains in more of a forward position, and as the day wears on, it moves back under the arm. Very weird. I am finally feeling a bit softer after my last fill. Now I have another on Tuesday. The last one. Take care, all, Bobbi |
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geneskirt Joined: Jun 2009 Posts: 73 |
Nov 1, 2009 02:50 pm
geneskirt wrote:
Typhoon: Welcome! I think you will find some helpful tips for coping during the expansion process! Kittycat: lol, do you think red or wine wine has a better relaxation effect for you?? lol Kar: I hava a 9 yr old daughter and they DEFINATELY notice that moms 'comfort cushions' aren't whAT they used to be! pkb143: I managed a couple of massages with an RMT who had experience with T/E already! Maybe more common than we think? Try searching out someone experience with "Manual Lymphatic Drainage Massage" , as i know the Cancer Society recommends it as an alternative therapy for women after Lymph Node Dissection. My M Therapist used two rolled up towels above and below the "mounds" and raised the height of the head support on the table as a result. I was comfortable on my tummy for 20 minutes or so, in fact it felt GREAT ! Its improtant they know not to be TOO TOO aggressive with breaking up adhesion as we don;t want swelling! She had a letter from a plastic surgeon complimenting her on her work - He felt the massage contributed to better expansion volume with pre-radiated skin....Pt achieved a large "C" cup with the help from massage over 4 months! 2X's : I too am waiting only 8 weeks between final expansion and exchange. P/S said min. 6 weeks is recommended, he prefers 8. I had delayed T/E, tho. I wonder if that makes a difference? Anyway, I am officially three weeks away to exchange - Nov. 24, and starting a new job on Dec. 1!!!! Yikes! I'm feeling like im 'on the other side' of this horrific 'cancer' diagnosis. I can't believe the change in my outlook and approach to EVERYTHING! ( back to work, cuz bills to pay! :) .... need prayers! Adnerb! xo - hugs.... good for you to forge ahead with chemo and T/E simultaneously! I must be very difficult to do both! You can do this tho! - cuz you have BC.org to be with you! Keep posting in....when you can! And yes, sleeping on your side is a simple blessing! :) I have just started sleeping on my side even rolled forward into my expanders a little and they are softening to allow me to sleep! O precious sleep!!!!!!!!! Did you know - the P/S said they don't put drains in at the exchange surgery (generally)! Simple blessings!xo Have I missed anyone? Hugs to all! Happy November Everyone! ANOTHER month in our journey! Diagnosis: 9/29/2008, ILC, 5cm, Stage II, Grade 1, 0/3 nodes, ER+ |
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2Xsenough Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 144 |
Nov 1, 2009 04:59 pm
2Xsenough wrote:
Geneskirt--Hey, good to hear from you. You have a whole new beginning. New job, new foobs and cancer free. Can't beat that. Congrats on being almost finished. You will be in my prayers as you move forward. Take care, Bobbi |
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KAR Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 171 |
Nov 1, 2009 05:45 pm
KAR wrote:
Hi all Adnerb: Good to hear from you. Im not doing chemo but hopefully this time will pass quickly for you and you'll be finished!! I do sleep on my side and most mornings are ok but every now and then I must fall foreword which causes some pain. I'm finally sleeping well through the night, probably because I can sleep on my side. 2x: Good luck on your last fill Tuesday yahoo! Typhoon: Hope your doing ok. Good luck with PT glad you got a women PT, I giggled when you posted that. Pkb: Oh my gosh, I have the worst allergies this time of the year and you are so right sneezing is the worst, especially after fills. Good luck with next fill . Kitty: countdown to exchange moving right along :) Geneskirt: congrats on Nov 24 exchange date- awesome! Congrats on the job too....you can do it! You've been through a lot but the end is in sight. Hopefully we can all just get back to living life. I still flinch a bit when anyone trys to hug me, Im trying not to but Im paranoid because I know "they" don't feel normal. Good luck all Diagnosis: 4/6/2009, DCIS, 3cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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KAR Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 171 |
Nov 1, 2009 05:56 pm
KAR wrote:
Kittycat: I wanted to ask you how long it took to get your BRCA test results back, its been over 2 weeks and I don't do "waiting for results" well. Thanks Diagnosis: 4/6/2009, DCIS, 3cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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pkb143 Joined: May 2009 Posts: 228 |
Nov 1, 2009 06:02 pm
pkb143 wrote:
typhoon, thank you for the specifics about your physical therapy. I have to admit, the boob massage sounds intriguing! but I'm like you, one of those given by a male would not be relaxing for me, I don't think. I'm thinking maybe I could handle a regular massage, using the technique geneskirt described (thanks for that info, too). I'm going to call tomorrow and ask them, if I try it and can't get comfortable, can I get an extension on the gift certificate? geneskirt, you know, I've been wondering if the exchange surgery involves drains so I'm glad you told us what your doctor said. It looks like many of you are going to be ahead of me in that respect -- although I have only 2-3 fills left, my exchange surgery won't be for 4 months after the last one. So y'all are going to have to forge ahead and then let me know what to expect! Are you first?? It's already November and will be here before you know it now. adnerb, chemo and tissue expanders! I don't know how you guys do it. I was one of the "lucky" ones who didn't need chemo or rads. Sending you a big ol' hug and wishing you sweet dreams (on your side, if you wish). And I'll quit griping about my little aches and pains during the TE process.... Patty B ~~ If God leads me to it, He will lead me through it.
Diagnosis: 3/18/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ |
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kittycat Joined: Mar 2009 Posts: 381 |
Nov 2, 2009 12:28 am
kittycat wrote:
Kar - my BRCA tests came back in 2 weeks, but the office peeps were off that week - ??? So, I waited another week until I got my results. Geneskirt - definitely red wine!!! :) pkb - 4 months!!! Wow! That's a bummer. Hopefully, your results will be even better. Adnerb - sorry to hear you're going through chemo, too. I'm not getting chemo, but my sister did earlier this year. She said it was really tough. Good luck!!! Dx 6/17/09 at 39 yrs old, DCIS, Stage 0, Grade 2, ER-/PR-, BRCA1+, bilat mast & TE recon
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HoneyBee1 Joined: Nov 2009 Posts: 6 |
Nov 2, 2009 03:31 pm
HoneyBee1 wrote:
Having my surgery this Thursday, reconstruction with expander. I'm not really worried about the surgery it sel, it is the afterward of the unknown that is freaking me out. I could only imagine there will be pain, not lifting of things, and WHATELSE????? Anyone, have some advice. Diagnosis: 8/20/2009, IDC, 4cm, Stage IIb, Grade 1, HER2+ |
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pkb143 Joined: May 2009 Posts: 228 |
Nov 2, 2009 05:55 pm
pkb143 wrote:
HoneyBee1, are you also having a mastectomy at same time? Patty B ~~ If God leads me to it, He will lead me through it.
Diagnosis: 3/18/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ |
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typhoon55 Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 51 |
Nov 2, 2009 07:03 pm
typhoon55 wrote:
Hi all, had another fill today, 60 cc each side. Old radiated side really hurts under the arm. Other side really not bad. Taking the muscle relaxers and pain meds. Good news is the PS said only 1-2 more fills. But he said I did not have to wait too long for the exchange and I have read other posts where the wait time is much longer. Guess I have to trust him as his credentials are really good. So it looks like December will be my exchange month. HoneyBee, I had BMX on 9/22/09 and I have to say the surgery was not too bad. I get really sick from pain meds and the surgeons ordered meds for that along with the ON-Q pain ball. I was home from the surgery the next day. No lifting arms above head or pressing down on hands. Drains were in on both sides which limits sleeping positions-back only and more in an upright position. Everyone else, I am getting some feeling back in the 1side with the simple mastectomy (that had the radiation 17 years ago). I actually felt the needle when he started the fill. Other side with the node removal no feeling yet. |
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kittycat Joined: Mar 2009 Posts: 381 |
Nov 3, 2009 02:19 am
kittycat wrote:
Typhoon - wow your TE process is going quick! Good for you!
Dx 6/17/09 at 39 yrs old, DCIS, Stage 0, Grade 2, ER-/PR-, BRCA1+, bilat mast & TE recon
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2Xsenough Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 144 |
Nov 3, 2009 04:21 pm
2Xsenough wrote:
Whoa--Last fill today and I feel about to burst. I'm at 480cc but compared to how much some of you guys are getting , I feel like a lightweight. Patty, I'm especially thinking of you, girl. I will be making the trek to Reno to see my PS next week and schedule my exchange. I have a list of questions, the first one being: the implant on my old radiated side isn't going to sit under my arm like the TE is doing, is it? I swear, most of the 480cc is in the pop out under my arm. I only hope the rest of that side is stretched enough to take the implant!!! My DH has been taking photos of me along the way and I"m going to try to post them on the picture forum. Hopefully they will help out others like me, with old radiation to contend with, at ease. With any luck the final outcome, when I post those, won't scare anyone off. I'm gonna go take some meds and pick up a book and take it easy today. Bobbi |
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pkb143 Joined: May 2009 Posts: 228 |
Nov 3, 2009 04:49 pm, edited Nov 3, 2009 04:50 PM
by pkb143
pkb143 wrote:
Bobbi, oh, I'm so, so jealous of all of you who are getting to the end. But although I'm jealous, I'll also be hoping and praying that everyone ends up a happy camper. And I'm thinking all those little things that aren't quite right with the TEs will be corrected on the exchange. I'm sure you're not a lightweight, none of us are after what we've been through. I have a feeling if I weren't all of 5'10" and 180 lbs., 480 ccs might just feel like I'm popping! So, it's all relative! I did have a light bulb moment earlier today, though. I am wondering what the heck size implant my PS is putting in!! and then he has to lift and augment the other side to match it. If my TEs go to 1200 and I'm already 990 ccs, what size implant are we thinking of? Guess I'd better start writing these questions down so I can ask him Thursday. **typhoon, for my mastectomy my PS installed an On-Q pain pump. LOVED that thing. I never had to use my pain pills for post-surgery until months later when my fills started getting uncomfortable. Patty B ~~ If God leads me to it, He will lead me through it.
Diagnosis: 3/18/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ |
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typhoon55 Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 51 |
Nov 3, 2009 05:39 pm
typhoon55 wrote:
pkb143-yeah the On-Q pain ball was great. I used very few pain meds. On the first post op visit the PS asked if I need more pain meds and I said I maybe took 1 a day. But like you I'm using them for my fills. Yesterdays fill is causing pain under my arm and slightly in my back in the old radiated side. And today I swear I heard myself "squish "in the TE while getting out of the car. |
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pkb143 Joined: May 2009 Posts: 228 |
Nov 3, 2009 06:08 pm
pkb143 wrote:
OMG, I've never had squishing! Mine's just too darn hard to squish.... Patty B ~~ Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
Diagnosis: 3/18/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ |
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dmorgan2 Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 30 |
Nov 4, 2009 01:47 am
dmorgan2 wrote:
Honeybee- I will be one week behind you with my scheduled surgery--MX and reconstruction (TE). Let me know how you do. My prayers are with you! Anyone out there who REGRETS having the reconstruction...wished they hadn't?...getting cold feet..... Diagnosis: 8/21/2009, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, ER+/PR- |
The hardest part is the tug at the heart strings when you have to guard yourself from the pain of there head bumping into your Expander which feels like a punch to the ribs.... Little ones sense your 'pretending' , don't they? :(