Topic: please help

Sueps, you are experiencing all that we have gone through and you can make it.

With this dx you feel like your body has let you down and everything you feel is normal. Do tell your health care provider about anything that you feel is abnormal for you. It can help guide them in the way to treat you. I agree with Sachi to write down all questions that you have and bring it with you to your next appoint.

Keep your chin up. Everything will work out.

Sheila

I will try keep the chin up Sheila , thankyou..... I keep shouting in my head 'i DONT WANT THIS!" 

we all shout at one time or another 'I DON'T WANT THIS'. It is perfectly normal because this horrible monster has changed our lives forever. My mom went through this 6 years ago and she is my best supporter. She went with me to all my appointments and was at the hospital the day of surgery along with my husband. He is a long haul trucker and only home on weekends and he appreciates the support that my mom has given me.

Sheila

Oh fiddle dee dee. I just tried to post a note to you Sue, telling you I am thinking of you a lot, amongst other things. My problem, my wireless timed out or something. Well, I have been thinking of you; a lot!

So, here's the summary version:

For me, when I first learned I had BC, I went down emotionally from fright for quite a while, and only came up when more answers were known and I started getting treatment. So we fully understand you'll be down and hopefully, at times you'll be up. It's a bit like a roller-coaster. Diazepam, melatonin, a good multivitamin will help, going over their use with your doctor. And read the thread on Vitamin D in BC.

Speaking of doctors, it sounds like they're pulling for you! CT scan tomorrow, to look around some, that's good news. Pelvic ultrasound to check out your ovaries shortly down the road that's good news. So, things are beginning to move forward, and the tempo may pick up speed.

So... you said it's pretty much you and your boys. Well, I'd love to hear about your boys, anytime. You rang so full when you said you live for them: only a good Mom (or Dad) so quickly offers that up! That said, why don't you see if you can get a little help from the local cancer society. Your hospital social worker is very capable of putting you in touch with women who have gone through this. Usually they are just waiting to help out a newbie (loving term for newly diagnosed) in any way possible: food, child care, help to visits and on... Please let down any pride and turn to them. We all, every breast cancer man or woman, want to help one another.

Well, by world clock gizmo says it's about 9 p.m. there in the U.K. What part of England are you in, if you don't mind sharing? I'm happy to hear you say you have good doctors and nurses ... that goes a long way to reassure you they have your best at heart!

Thanks for your update, Sue, your on our mind, sending positive thoughts and gentle hugs across the ocean!
Tender

back to it...is an inch tumour big?????? is invasive a danger.Also the insitu tumour is growing and hurts like mad....is this normal....

my spine does hurt feels like somethings crawling up it,and my bones ache in general....this cant be cancer??

Sue...We will certainly not get sick of your updates! After all, that's what we do here- update and listen to others' updates!

Your diagnoses sounds alot like mine and many others here. I had invasive ductal carcinoma (IDC) and ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS) too. They estimated my tumor to be 2.5 cm, but after surgery it was found to be 1.8 cm, which is about 1 inch...just like yours. Of course, I did have chemo first and that might have shrunk it a bit. Whatever. A month after surgery, I did radiation therapy and went every weekday morning for those treatments (they took like 10 minutes each) for 6 weeks. It sounds like alot, but it quickly became routine. Anyway, it's been 1 1/2 years since I finished all of that and I'm taking Aromasin (to prevent recurrence) and doing just fine. I have a full-time job at a medical center and a part-time job teaching fitness. I also have a daughter who is now 23 years old and still the center of my life, so I understand how you feel about your boys.

You're going to be fine, Sue. Just take it a step at a time and be as gentle with yourself as possible. Keep coming here too and join our discussions, ask questions, even help others. We'll get through this together, okay?

~Marin

PS.....Your picture is awesome....you look gorgeous!

I have had all my nodes removed on my right. 28 of them to be specific. Everybody has a different number so don't be worried about the number. I've also had a bilateral mastectomy. The mastectomy portion of it isn't that bad. Of course your sore. But when they remove all your lymphnodes just be prepared for the loss of using that arm for a while. They'll give you exercises to do to help like slowly walking your fingers up the wall. It seems silly but it works and you'll have the full use back in no time.

Some things you might want to think about is are you right or left handed? Are you having the nodes removed on that same side. The funniest thing I found it hard to do after surgery, because I was right handed and the surgery was on the fight was....pull my pants up and down to go to the bathroom and wipe my self. It sounds rediculous but very hard to do with your other hand! It's that lack of movement in your arm....work those fingers up the wall!!!!!!

After that type of surgery you will not want blood draws, shots, or blood pressure to be taken on that arm. It can cause a condition called lymphedema. I have been lucky enough never to have any probems with it so don't anticipate having any just don't do any of those things ever on that arm.

Oh and by the way, both of my tumors were painful. That's how I found them. Doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

Your boys sound like they are old enough that they could help in making their own food. Let them shop with you and pick up items that they can prepare. Even if it's microwave dishes, they'll feel like they're "big boys" and are contributing and it will give you a little more time to focus on you when you're not feeling up to it.

Tell the boys about your diagnosis. Don't sugar coat how your going to feel, but assure them that you will be O.K. My girls were 5 and 9 when I was first diagnosed and I found that giving them the real information was less scarry than what their imagination was conjouring up. They could deal with the honesty and knowing if they had questions they would be answered. Kids are funny, they take that information and bounce back and still can be kids. Oh to be a kid again!

Sharon

...and my cat Zippy who has been my best mate for 12 years has been lying down nxt to me all week ....just close enough to let me know he cares....

Hi Sue...I'm glad that you also have a cat to help you get through....many, many of us here have found our pets to have been invaluable and so comforting. I recall 2 years ago when I was as bald as a cue ball and my sweet cat, Laci, would lick my poor head ! It sounds gross, but any cat lover would understand, right?

I had a lumpectomy, no nodes removed though, chemo and radiation, so I can't provide much info about the stuff I didn't have. But, as you can see, there are plenty who can!

I'm really glad that you're getting all of your tests done, Sue. It sounds like you'll be recovering sooner than you thought!

~Marin

thankyou so much Towhee. The slow death feeling is what I have and then the low thing is will I feel like this all my life now ...thinking at some given point it will come back.

Did anyone feel rundown around diagnosis...I am completely zapped..have been for a few months..is that a common symptom...got no energy..x

Sue, you ask,

"Did anyone feel rundown around diagnosis...I am completely zapped..have been for a few months..is that a common symptom...got no energy"

Four months prior to my breast cancer diagnosis, I knew something bad was happening in my body. I felt like my life ember was going out, a unusual deep boned coldness and fatigue that scared the ....out of me! That was the day, in my kitchen, that I called the clinic and begged to come in, just to be told there was not opening for some 6 weeks. How do you explain that your "emergency" was this heightened, unusual sensation and inner knowledge that you had a problem?

I didn't remember this until I came to this forum, and have three or more times heard other women mention a similar premonitory feeling: deep seated, bone-chilled, low metabolic, excessive fatigue, pre-cancer diagnosis state.

So, yes, others have felt it, myself included. I've never seen any research reference to this, and I've often though it would be an interesting thread to post here at BC.org, something like;

"did you experience prodromal symptoms of...... just prior to your breast cancer diagnosis"?
or "what were your prodromal physical symptoms other than mass, prior to your bc diagnosis"?

Who knows, maybe it's systemic inflammatory cell cytokine release related, although how would that be related to feeling like your metabolism was slowing, or put another way, your life ember was waning?

You know, they know talk about precursor symptoms to ovarian cancer (bloating, early satiety, constipation) and the growing awareness of the medical community to take them seriously. These sound much more physically explainable (mainly abdominal or pelvic) than what I noted before my diagnosis. My symptoms were much more total body as I described above. But since I am node positive, I wonder sometimes if what I felt was associated with the initial spread of cells from my tumor, or additional spread of cells through the lymphatics and/or blood stream. Like perhaps by own immune system mounted an in body response to these cancer cells, which made me feel so fatigued, and run down, and deep, way deep cold. Like there was a war going on inside me.

This is definitely one of my more unusual (weird) posts, but I gotta say in answer to your astute question, YES!

Tender

Sue- I think exhaustion is just part of being a mom. That said, the past 6 weeks have knocked me out. I am foggier than usual and go from not being able to sleep to dropping into the deepest, hardest sleep possible.  I take an anti-depressant and it doesn't seem to be working the same way since the dx.

My mom had a mastectomy 17 years ago. She had some music therapy tapes, designed to be used prior to and during surgery. They worked so well, her vitals were steady, she was so calm, had no blood loss, and was in a great state for recovery.  She credits being mentally ready for the good result. (Of course, getting through chemo and its aftermath were another story, but times and meds have changed.)

I had an inkling about my DX, and I don't really know why. I remember thinking in June, before my mammo, that if something was found I'd still go on vacation, etc. The DX was a shock, but somehow I knew it would happen. Knowing what is going on and getting through each step is empowering.  Tomorrow I visit my surgeon and we'll discuss today's ultrasound and biopsy (for a tiny spot on the other breast, probably benign) and start making plans for the lumpectomy.

Take a deep breath and rest and relax as much as you can. My pug sits next to me and it surely helps...

Pam

Good afternoon everyone..its is 1245...Still gaining a lot of support from all of you...

Another very very noticeable strange change in my pre diagnose was the extreme craving I have for VINEGAR ....I literally had to stop myself drinking it...and it was brown sauce all the way on my subs at work....

Hope you are all well.... xx

I had bilat mast with node removal on both sides as a precaution that there was something in the other breast. right after surgery, I felt like I had been hit by a truck. but the feeling went away after some morphine.

I agree with the wiping your a$$ and pulling up your pants. Even harder when both arms are affected. My biggest exercise was reaching up for the celing fan light pulls at home. I also did the finger walk so I could reach the light switches.

Sheila