Topic: Need to Talk

RyelisGma:

Wow - you have survived a lot in the last five years. I think you should look at the very positive parts of your diagnosis  - the tumor was very small!!!  You are right to not anticipate what path you will take until you get a full diagnosis. I had a larger tumor (3 cm) , stage 2. I only had a lumpectomy becuase my biopsy was inconclusive so I had the lump out before I knew what it was. I think I may have been lucky in that I didn't have to make the choice. My only advice to you is get all the facts first, read read read. Talk to the ladies here - they know so much. Then make a decision that is right for you.

{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}} to you.

Rinna 

Sounds to me like you are a strong beautiful woman!

I am by no means an expert around here but, I can tell you that I felt all of those things when I was dx'd on May22nd.

I just had my surgery on Monday & I will be glad to answer any questions I can.

Stay strong & don't ever feel like you are having a pity party! Talking, venting, yelling....they will help you decompress. Let's plan on holding our grandchildren together. Okay?

To Sharon, Dawnbelle and Rinna,

I burst into tears after getting up to get a drink then start reading again... and noticed I already had posts! OMG.. thank you so very much to take the time and respond to me. God bless each and everyone of you. Sharon, all I can say is yes, I do believe I am strong but I have never had to direct that strength to take care of myself, really take care and FIGHT, until now. I want to be just like all of you. I should be hearing from the imaging nurse today ( I am actually an Xray tech, the worst kind of patient) and will get more specifics of my path report. I hope to update you all soon. Dawnbelle, I am thinking and praying for you and your JUST recent surgery. You are already posting, bless your heart! Rinna, I am relived of the size considering it was my first mammo. I was really taking a chance not having any family history. Again, God bless you all and I better sign out for a bit. My virtual tissue is soaked thru and thru.

Gma

hugs for you.you've been through so much. i'm also adopted, which makes genetic testing quite an issue and difficult to trace my entire family history, but i did find out that my mother and grandmother both died of breast cancer which spread to the bone after they went through chemo. do you have access to your birth families' medical information? it will help you if you decide to get genetic testing (if we're BRCA+, we have a very high chance of getting ovarian cancer, so many women who test positive have their ovaries removed). my tumor was 8mm when detected, 1.2cm when removed, and was grade 3 and i'm triple negative. the surgeon was not able to get clear margins over 2mm, and the tumor was 1mm from the chest wall, so that's why i had to have chemo and radiation.  otherwise i would have had to only have chemo.  that is why i opted for bilateral mastectomy, because of my family history, because the cancer was stage 3, aggressive, and because of the triple negative situation (i cannot take taxoxifen, etc., after chemo because the receptors are negative). the surgery was really easy and painless, and i was up and driving and working in three days. i love my new body! no bras! no mammograms! let us know how you are doing and what you hear from the docs. hugs - 

Wow - you are truly a strong woman!  You're right, God wouldn't put more on us than we could bear.  He also never promised that we wouldn't go through storms, just that He would see us through the storm.  I was diagnosed April 10th last year, 4 months after having a miscarriage.  My lump was 5cm and close to my skin. I had chemo, surgery, then radiation.  I chose to have a lumpectomy since I have no family history of it and my genetics tests came back negative.  I had a lumpectomy on the left breast and a reduction on the right.  I love my new breast!  Exactly one year after my diagnosis, me and my husband went to Jamaica to celebrate me being cancer free and our 5 yr anniversary!  My hair has grown back enough for me to have braid extentions put in, which helped to bring out my inner diva :-)  Trust me when I say I know how you feel!  Stay positive, it will help you through these times.  Hugs~

Gma:

I just wanted to add to the horoscope thing. When I was first diagnosed we ordered chinese food. We had 6 fortune cookies, the one I picked read: You will have a carefree life once again. I keep that in my wallet.

OH GIRLS,

I am so exhausted. Ive been reading, researching, thinking, worrying all day long. No call from the imaging center nurse today. The tech that took my mammograms and had to actually make the dreadful call to inform me that I needed to come in for a "spot" found is actually an old friend of mine. We were very close 20 years ago. It was so hard for her as well. I dont know if I really wanted the nurse to call. Today anyway. I will talk to my mammo tech friend this weekend and get some more info from her on my biopsy report. She called and gave me the report yesterday but again, I heard only half. All I remember is lower grade than they thought and it was IDC and hormone receptor negative.

How many of you girls have had biopsy path reports that have been the same/close to your final path report post op? Again, the cancer is size of pencil eraser -so- >1cm i imagine. Not much tho. Good news. I called my half-sisters very old phone number that I kept after finding my birth mother. Sounds like, from the answering machine, its her and her family still. Not only will this help in my final decision but I can warn her. My birth mom got pg w/ her 3 months after she put me up for adoption. She kept her. We are the only children she gave birth too. Would the genetic testing have to be a special procedure they would have to have done? Will medical records of any type help? Im not quite sure if birth mom would have testing done. She had a very difficult life. Lets just say I am very glad she chose to find me a good home. I thought I would at least start w/ my half-sis and ask about cancer in fam and go from there.

I feel like my whole body is riddled w/ cancer. Im afraid it is in my chest wall, my lungs, ovaries, back. I am sore all over. Stress? A very hard day. Funny thing? A few months ago I was dx'ed w/ SEVERE Sleep apnea. It has been w/ me for years and I have HBP and Irregular heart rate w/ anxiety due to it. Ive had my machine for a month and felt a little better off and on but still had insomnia. Day I was dx'ed? I slept 81/2 hours straight and have slept at least 61/2 each night since.

Im even scared for just surgery alone. Overweight 50 lbs, weak heart, not much exercise since my wreck (hip pn) and a few minths ago my ankles started to swell a little right at my cycle time. Water retention I guess. Docs didnt seem to worried.

I had a few other questions for you all but my eyes are blurry and Im having trouble remembering what I was going to ask. WOW, I sound like a 2 year old. Thanks for listening again. I .sure appreciate the hugs.

Gma-Toni 

Sharon, thank you for your kind words. Maybe I have read too much. Ive seen posts from other women that have thought the biopsy pass may have disturbed the cancer and it grew. At one point I was told that negative hormone involvement was easier to treat (I am neg) and now I read hormone positive is easier. You are right, cuz I am crazier than a looney bird right now. I dont even see the surgeon until tuesday. Ill be in our psych ward by then.

Any other good sites of info or books anyone recommends for me AFTER the doc (or before) would you let me know?

^^^^HUGS^^^^^^

Deb - Thank you. Im trying but it is so difficult. Bless you for your input. Just feel so lost and wonder why after all we've been thru. Just a bad day that will pass. All of you are so strong. I just wish it could come out right now. Its driving me crazy.

Congratulations on your victory !

Gma

 Hi Gma,

Our  family had a rough time before my diagnosis too. Won't go into it, but it  was a tough year, then I found my lump the day before my birthday. Which I view as a gift from God, I found it, and it was removed, and now I am being treated. What I have been told by others is to always focus on the positive.

Great words from Dawn and Deb ..don't read a lot of posts, (I  have been guilty of coming on this forum and  "dumping" on a bad day. When I feel good, I usually don't post, because I am busy living my life. My bad.) and never never pay any attention to statistics!  

.I was  crazy  from the time my sentinel nodes came back positive, until  the PET results. By then I was imagining  all kinds of stuff. Once all the reports came in and I knew what we ( my medical team, family and me) were dealing with, I could get into battle mode.

I am the biggest baby in the world, but somehow God is giving me the grace and strength to get through this. You will get through this. Everyone I speak to says it 95% attitude.
. Also, when I have an appointment, I bring someone with me, so we have 2 sets of ears. When I found out out about the positive nodes,. that is all I heard, and had myself in a pine box. My husband had to talk to the surgeon to  get the good news --which I had tuned out.

the best people to talk to are the survivors...of whom there are MANY

Remember the 23rd psalm, He will be with us in the valleys.

You and your family will be in my prayers

leslie

God Bless You - your strength is amazing. God WILL see you through!

Like Sharon already said, get your list of questions ready and take someone with you.

Deb, Rose, Sharon, Dawn and ljh,

Thanks again. I needed all the thoughts and kindness from you. I feel so surrounded with caring individuals. It makes all the difference. Reading about notebooks and notes and report keeping and journaling is priority on my list and I am ready in that aspect. DAWN_ Ive been thinking of you and your recent surgery. For a woman who says shes a cry-baby....... I DONT THINK SO!!  God is walking right beside me - I feel he needs to carry me but Im sure he is and I just need to find that peace inside me. I can do this. I can do this. I will fight every day and I will make it. No more bad story reading for me. In fact, Im just checking my posts today and saying thank you to all of you that have given me that extra bit of hope. LJH_ Bless you and the rough patch you endured b4 this as well. I didnt mean to single anyone out. Please know I am praying for you all.

GMA

 Good morning,

I actually went to the ball field yesterday with my husband. I felt free, even if it was for only a few hours. I was reading the "upper room" last night (daily devotional) and was inspired by a woman that was dx'ed w/ a rare form of ovarian cancer. She was googling and reading so much that she thought her head was going to blow. HMMM... That was me. In short, she fought her battle w/ prayer and trust in God. She is thriving. Of course, there were "not so good stories" but they were all surrounded by support, family, friends, God and their prayer. Thats how I am living from day to day. After my daughters injury, I will be the first to tell anyone that there is a "higher power" taking care of us. Mine is God. I just may need God and Xanax ! Seriously, I think I need something for anxiety. I dont want tuesday to come (1st doc appt) but yet it cant come soon enough.

Thinking of all of you. Thank you for this site and your support. Sharon - I am in love w/ your puppy

WELL, Shame on me Dawn ! You are absolutley right, she is adorable. As I was posting this morn, I could see Sharons cute pup staring at me. Sounds like Molly is as strong as you. Obviously the two of you were meant to be togrther. She was given to you from above. (sure wish you could cyber me some Xanax) Will call doc tomorrow for some. My buddy is Meiko. 4year old dalmation-lab mix. Sounds funny,huh? He looks like a lab. Really he is human and our son. Only one prob w/ him. He thinks everyone is a dog and smells their butts (front) as soon as they walk in the door. How embarrassing.

Well you are six days post-op. Hope you are feeling better as the days go by. Take Care and have an awesome Sunday. Glad you went to dinner the other night. Hoorah! Hoorah!

Hugs back, Gma (Toni)