Topic: I think I'm driving my hubby crazy!

Oh Kittycat, you're at the most frustrating and scary stage of this whole bc "trip"!  Of course you broke down -- who among us here hasn't??!  And you're right -- men do want to "fix" things and make the problem go away, but they too feel frustrated because they can't.

I'm hoping you and your dh are habitually open and honest with each other about your feelings, because now is the time you really need to talk freely with one another.  And please don't feel you have to "stay positive" -- goodness, that's just a whole lot of added stress that you don't need.

We're all here for you, and we DO understand!

Hugs, Linda

Hi Kittycat,

You are where I was just a short time ago.  I cried all the time, it would just come out of nowhere and hit me sometimes.  It still does once a day at least.  My boyfriend has been incredibly supportive and is taking wonderful care of me and I can't believe I haven't run him off yet.  He has a very positive attitude about this whole thing, I'm the one who thinks worst case scenario all the time.  I was glad to have my job which is also very demanding, I didn't have time to think about this while I was working as I'm a critical care nurse.  Always have someone go with you to your appointments and have them keep notes, your husband, a friend, etc.  Don't be afraid or feel guilty for breaking down, this is all scary stuff and its normal to do it.  There's tons of wonderful support here, I come here everyday, you'll make lots of friends here and there is always someone just one step ahead of you to share what they went through.  Hugs, Paula 

Well Kittycat, I hate to say but you are normal! None of this is easy to go through. Yes, you have the "good" kind of breast ca, yes your prognosis is very good, yes everything is going to be fine, blah blah blah... I don't care what kind of breast ca you have, it takes a toll on each individual. There are so many emotions you are going to go through and your husband too. Be true to yourself, allow yourself to have these emotions and break downs because trust me, holding them in and being "brave" only makes it worse. Tackle each day as it comes and lean on only those who deserve to be on your support team (not everyone who wants to be on your team will be good for you, only keep those who are).

I wish you all the best and keep posting and getting support from the ladies here, they are truely wonderful.

PS don't forget medicinal chocolate on those down days!

Penny

Chocolate and wine, now we are talking!

Kittycat, glad to meet you.  The beginning is the hardest part.  the husband may end up surprising you with his strength during the long haul.  I just found out last night after 5 years (he didn't tell me, he told a life support group) that he prayed and prayed that he needed me more than God did right now to please let him keep me.  I had no idea because he never said anything.  Men handle things so differently than women.  You will find strength that you never knew you had.  Always be willing to ask your family and friends for help.  they do want to help but most don't know what to do.  I am praying for you and wishing you the very best.  Keep driving him nuts and tell him you just want him to listen and hear what you are saying.

My husband has been trying to understand that sometimes I just need him to listen.  He's been really great and encouraging me.  He's very scared, too.  We went to another doctor's appt yesterday.  We had to end our vacation a little early to go (left at 5 am and made it on time).  It was great to have him there.  :)

Glanter, funny you should mention that.  I did take matters in my own hands.  I went and met with a PS that my husband's coworker recommended.  He fixed some issues she had with her bilat + recon.  She had a staph infection and so many complications with another PS.  She ended up seeing this PS and loved him!  So, we met with this PS on Monday (that the appt we went to).  My husband and I both really liked him, too.  He answered a lot of my questions.  I have a lot of understanding over this stuff because I've had breast aug and my sister just finished recon.  The only problem is this PS is not contracted at the same hospitals as my BS.  So, I'm getting another consult with another BS that he highly recommends.  I felt kind of strange doing that, but this is my body!!!  I should have some answers by next week.

My hubby has been so helpful.  It's been great to have him on dr appts with me because he asks some tough questions.  Plus, after 10 years of marraige, he knows what matters to me!  :-)

Got my gene test results today.  I tested positive for BRCA 1 gene mutation.  I visited with another surgeon today.  He was much more informative than my current breast surgeon.  One of the things he brought to my attention was the dense tissue they found in my left breast.  My BS never looked into that.  Nothing showed up on the MRI, but still it's a concern.  He works with the plastic surgeon I liked.  I meet with the other PS on Wednesday.  I'm definitely having a bilat mast.  I'll make my decision on who I choose and dates hopefully by end of this week. 

I visited my OBGYN today.  I'm sure the entire medical community thinks I'm nuts.  My hubby said I obsess.  I told him that he looks stuff up over and over again on the internet, so I don't want to hear it!  We're both a little OCD!

My OBGYN said that other patients have complained about the breast surgeon I've been seeing, saying she doesn't have the best bedside manner.  I'm really leaning toward this other doctor.  He seemed to fit my needs better.  I'm still going to see the other plastic surgeon, just to get his opnion.  I'm very glad I have a PPO!