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Sep 16, 2007 08:02 PM Sessna1 wrote:
Your letter touched me from the moment you began speaking about a difficult mum and you became a soul mate when you said brothers (ewwwww). Bless your heart!
You are a very strong person, and you chose not to mention any trusted friends or relatives. I think, I think that you are saying, "Who does the rock stand upon?" You are the one your mother leans upon and you are the one looking out for your brother.
Older moms that are in declining health are very stressful on your life. You left work to be with her in distress. (Oh, we ARE joined at the hip.) The line (very thin) between daughter, relative, friend, protector, loved one, advocate, woman, and human being is a tight rope. I didn't put "care giver" in there because what you are doing is uncommon, and I acknowledge those that go above and beyond when I can.
I am having to learn to accept support. I'm past 40, and I'm independent, stubborn, self-sufficient, and driven. My psychiatrist informs me that I am arrogant and ignorant if I don't take care of this new diagnosis of breast cancer. Whoa. I was wondering what she would say to me about my stubborness. I knew that she would go "human" on me, and let me have it with both barrels, and I got shot, too (smile). It had to be done. Oh - arrogant because I want to do things alone by myself and ignorant because I don't know all the medical ramifications, outcomes, treatments, and hope available for those who have cancer in 2007.
Your brother sounds as self-centered and irresponsible as the ones that you can't find a Hallmark card for that tells the truth (please smile). I have one of those. I really need you to please consider having a best friend look out for your furbaby. I am told that sometimes people step up to the plate when they are needed, but my brother has always run for the football field insisting that he wants to sign up for soccer practice... you know what I mean. Both you are your furbaby deserve better than that. I have two furry angels in Heaven, and if I was worried about them, it would be another dent in my heart.
You know your brother better than I. Does he usually check out and drop out of sight as long as he has a girlfriend around? Does he schedule so many things to do that he can't finish anything? Sitting at the computer all the time is a really bad sign, I'll be honest with you. I will ask you to consider something - does your brother have any real good friends? Girlfriends don't count. I am asking if you know of another male, who is of good character, who has a friendship relationship with your brother? I'm trying to ask you to ask yourself if there is someone else rational (like you) who believes in him.
I had to write, because your letter touched me. I apologize if I haven't been of much help.
I am struggling to get up the gumption to return to a church congregation and a bc support group. In theory, it sounds easier to me to pull out my own wisdom tooth without any pain killers.
A big hug to you.
... we are all put here on earth to help others. What the others are put here for, I don't know.