Posted on: Jan 14, 2009 03:42 PM
Some of us will, some of us won't, but it's an ugly beast to try to tackle alone. I think I'd rather have cancer than quit. Sadly, I can't quit cancer. Dunno if I can quit smoking or not, but I just read a study that says smoking (nicotine) interferes with and blocks chemo by 61%.
If I'm gonna have to go through this crap, it darned well better work. I've come to terms with every other aspect of this mess I've been presented with so far. Sometimes with tears, sometimes with humor, sometimes with quiet hugs from hubby. Smoking not so much. I like it. It's my friend, my crutch, my safe harbor in a crazy world. It's killing me. It's time to say good-bye.
My quit date is 1/19/09. My husband will be joining me. Cold turkey for me, patches for him. (I am avoiding more nicotine just as much as I am sugar.)
Anyone out there care to join us?
Posts 8101 - 8130 (9,352 total)
Jul 2, 2012 02:13 PM dunesleeper wrote:
Smoking sucks the life out of us. I don't want to play that game!!!
Jul 2, 2012 10:31 PM JudiH wrote:
Good morning everyone. Had a great Canada Day - great weather, great friends, great food and great drinks. Oh yeah - it was great not smoking. I have to tell you I thought about a smoke: 1) I remember these events when I smoked and 2) someone was smoking. But then I don't do it. Oh well, I think this will be like this for the rest of my life.
Jo, glad to hear things went well and now your relaxing. Remember, everything will still be there so relax, rest and get healthy.
I hope everyone has a great day - holiday here today because Canada Day fell on a Sunday - yay!
Jul 2, 2012 10:39 PM dunesleeper wrote:
A belated happy Canada Day to you Judi! Congrats on not smoking!!! You stomped that nicodemon down to the ground.
Jul 3, 2012 02:16 AM MaddyMac wrote:
Happy Canada day to our friends to the north - glad you all got a day off!
I've been struggling with horrid urges since I got out of the hospital, to my surprise. That was the big scary #1, so why now?
Big scary path report came back w/ 4 nodes positive, so I will be doing chemo next (big scary thing #2) soon, followed by rads. I guess maybe my strong cravings might have to do with the path report.
ANYWAY, here I am wittering on and on. Congrats to my tough sisters, I hope everyone's day has a beautiful quality of ease in it somewhere.
Jul 3, 2012 02:23 AM Beckers wrote:
Just going through the stress of each step of this process and not smoking is amazing! Hang in there Maddy. Path reports are very scary. I find myself getting more anxious when I know it's time for the next step in treatment. After my first surgery, I was recovering and I was less stressed but when it came time for rads I panicked. Now doing BMX and I know I will panic when i get closer to that day for sure! Smoking was calming and now I have the ecig with no nicotine for the roughest patches. It helps. Hang in there.
Jul 3, 2012 04:29 AM JudiH wrote:
MaddyMac, big hugs to you! I wish I was there to wrap my arms around him and just hold you! You will be o.k. The scary part is over now! From here on in, you will beat the crap of this! Don't hold back. We are all here for you! I wish I lived closer but you will always be in my thoughts!
Beckers, stay strong as well. You too will get throught this.
A wise friend said to me "you have to stay positive all the time to beat this s#@t". She also said that even though it's tough, it's doable. Now, she is a 5-year breast cancer survivor and I will be like her. So will you!
Jul 3, 2012 04:55 AM, edited Jul 3, 2012 04:57 AM by karen333
MattyMac, the 3 stressors you listed are more than enough to bring on cravings!!! You are some strong lady to resist! I was waiting for a path. report the dr. told me was going to be benign, and I was anxious for the 10 days it took for me to read benign, I walkind into his office on legs that were like rubber, so you are doing triple duty and not smoking. Beckers is right on point, each new step in the process brings it's own anxiety, so we have to remember to rock the quit and stay strong. You, my dear are doing beautifully. Karen
Jul 3, 2012 10:09 AM karen333 wrote:
Hey Jo, how are you doing, are you resting and taking it easy? Hope you are feeling better each day and that we all cheer on the 10th, you'll have to begin the party and maybe we can get o2bhealthy to contribute some of her marvelous servers, drinks and snack ables. I know you have the chocolate man! hugs, Karen
Jul 3, 2012 11:15 AM jo1955 wrote:
Karen - Thank you so much for asking. I am doing much better today. Had a very busy day but nothing strenuous - can't do those kinds of things for a couple of weeks. I am anxious to get back in the pool tomorrow and start my water aerobics again. I have missed 4 days - grrrr!! I go a week from tomorrow to get the path report. As it gets closer, I know I will be more and more nervous. After much research, I have found out that the thick uterus - 2 years in a row and now the polyp is Tamoxifen induced. My GYN told me the polyp had nothing to do with Tamox but I have several articles printed out to take with me that says he is wrong. You know doctors hate it when we come loading with ammo.
I know I have not been posting much lately. Been busy but I try and read every day.
Jul 3, 2012 12:04 PM, edited Jul 3, 2012 12:06 PM by karen333
Dear Jo, that waiting is just the worst, it feels lke time is standing still. By the time I saw my path. report, it was a 10 day wait, I felt like I was walking on rubber legs into his office. Water exercise sounds wonderful, great low impact on the body and in the water in this extreme heat. I can bet you are armed with all the research that links Tamoxifen to the thick lining of the uterous and the polyp. I don't think many doctor's really enjoy a woman who does her homework as you have done. many hugs, Karen PS., sending calming anti-anxiety waves your way, the water exercise sounds like just the ticket.
Jul 3, 2012 12:57 PM dunesleeper wrote:
OK. Today was the first real day of my retirement. I ended up drinking a bit and I smoked some herbal, non-nicotine cigarettes. Even though they were not nicotine, for my own purposes, I consider myself back at the beginning. That's just because I know me. However, I normally do not drink since I am treating my cancer (which supposedly is gone) through nutrition and supplements instead of chemo and rads. This was just sort of a day off of the strict diet. Unfortunately, besides smoking the herbal cigarettes, I also did not get to the gym. However, I did clean out my car; and that was no small task. I have a couple of Guinness left (I downed six, took a nap, then went out for six more). I used to drink a lot. I'm hoping, and I hope you will hope with me, that when I drink those Guinness that I have left, it will be a reward for doing something very productive and will not be accompanied by a cigarette, herbal or otherwise.
Jul 3, 2012 09:01 PM JudiH wrote:
Good morning Dunesleeper! Congrats on your retirement ... sometimes it is just time to retire and I hope you enjoy yours. Now, with the smoking - big deal. One (and one that is herbal) is not considered you a "smoker" again. I think the Guinness got to you. Look back and be proud of all of your accomplishments .... make a list and now you will know why you had the "herbal smoke" and the Guinness. You have worked hard all of your life, achieved a lot, and then you retired. I think that is a pretty amazing feat! Don't look back now but more ahead. Enjoy your day!
Jul 3, 2012 11:34 PM Beckers wrote:
Dunes - as long as I stay away from the cigs, I don't care what I smoke! Ha! Well I do care but you know. Definitely don't beat yourself up. New day!
Jul 4, 2012 08:18 AM dunesleeper wrote:
New day. Life is good. No cravings today. I did have a thought or two about smoking one of those herbal things but decided I didn't really want to do that. Kewl! I did some yoga. I think I will now take a shower and then fix some dinner. Thank you all for being here.
Jul 4, 2012 10:24 AM JudiH wrote:
Dunesleeper, good going! See, you thought the herbal smoke was o.k. and maybe that was all you needed. Today, it wasn't what you needed. You thought about it and decided it wouldn't do the job. See, you are there even if you don't believe it. I too had a fleeting thought of having a smoke today but then poof, it was gone. Seems to me that I have these fleeting thoughts every day. But as long as it is just a thought, I'm o.k. with it.
Jul 4, 2012 01:14 PM dunesleeper wrote:
Judi, I am ok with fleeting thoughts, too. Congratulations to everyone who added another smoke-free day to their lives. For those who are still working on putting down those dastardly nicodemons, keep considering all the benefits to giving it up.
Jul 5, 2012 03:01 AM lisamarie68 wrote:
Hey ladies , hope everyone is having a safe 4th of July just popping by .. I am still a mess but soon I hope .. working today .. Hope Jo gets better soon ... Love and Miss you all
Jul 5, 2012 07:13 AM JudiH wrote:
Happy 4th of July to all of my bc friends south of the border. Really, really warm up here so I'm assuming it's the same for all of you. Yikes, it is hot. Enjoy your day.
Lisamarie 68, good to see you again. Don't be a stranger!
Jul 6, 2012 08:37 AM karen333 wrote:
Hi everyone, it has been very quiet of late, how is everyone doing? suffocating from the heat in WNY area, MaddyMac, how are you doing? I hope you have been doing a lot of R&R and feeling better each day.
Jul 6, 2012 10:20 AM JudiH wrote:
Karen, it has been very quiet hasn't it. I thought with it being July 4th that people took a few days off to make it a long weekend. Hopefully, people were by water to make the heat a little more bearable! Hope you had a great one!
So this is not all in vain, I haven't succumbed to having a smoke, ha, ha!
Jul 6, 2012 01:51 PM Beckers wrote:
I'm here. Cravings today. Toughing it our with cookie dough ice cream. ;-). One month on Sunday!!!
Jul 6, 2012 02:10 PM dunesleeper wrote:
Congrats Beckers!!! And Judi H too. I don't want no stinking cigarette. Ugh. No sense coming around here Nicodemon. We have no use for you here!
Jul 6, 2012 08:36 PM karen333 wrote:
JudiH, Beckers, and dunesleeper, you are all conquering the Nicodemon, stay cool today and smokefree if you are where the hot and humid temps. are. Beckers, one more day and you are a 1 month non-smoker, way to go girl!!! Karen
Jul 6, 2012 10:24 PM lisamarie68 wrote:
Hi Girls , I just got to say I admire everyone here . I know I need to stop beating myself up , but I am so sad :( that i picked up the cigarette again . I am having such a fight even worse than before I quit . I put the patch on then not even 24 hours later I rip them off and go to the store and buy a pack again , only to feel like a complete failure all over again . I have 3 cigarettes left today and once again I will put the patch on . I need to get strong and fight the fight . i dont wanna be a smoker , I dont want any more cancer . :( Today my uncle arrives for vacation from Florida and he is in end stage COPD and he has to carry oxyegen and he knows he is close to dying . I dont want to be like that. I just dont want to die ... I know i am whining .. and it sucks but I also know I have found compassion and strength through these boards. especially here . I love you all and ty for putting up with me .