Topic: Need some perspective

I wouldn't worry much about the actual stage at this point. Having had bc two different times, the actual staging is never accurate until after surgery. Everything before that is a guesstimate. And the treatment is pretty much the same for stage II or stage III. My last tumour was 2.2 cm and I also had 4 nodes and I was told that I was stage II. So don't let the number affect you. Before my surgery the mri indicated the tumour might be as big as 5 cm and I did not have neoadjuvant therapy even though the docs already knew lymph nodes were palpable. Your tumour may, in fact have been much bigger than they originally thought and the chemo shrunk it a lot.

I'm sorry that your entire family is going through such a tough time. I'm sure one day scientists will discover a BRCA3 or 4. My family and I are BRCA2+  Concentrate on getting well and taking care of each other.

Thanks so much everyone for the quick replies! My doc was disappointed that the tumor didn't seem to shrink much, but as also said what you all have said--it could have been larger than estimated by the core biopsy and MRI. The thing that sucks is that I had a clear mammo in Dec. After mom was diagnosed I thought I'd better start checking myself--I felt something funny, but w/my small tatas I was never sure if I was feeling a rib or something. I waited a month or so to go in (through a menstrual cycle) and of course I'm kicking myself for waiting that amount of time.

One positive thing I forgot to mention is that my margins were clear--1cm. I know some reports want 2 cm, but others accept even less that 1cm, so I'm happy w/that. I'm great at telling others to focus on positive things, but I have a hard time applying it to myself.

My doc wants to put me on tamoxifen right away instead of waiting until after radiation. I figure I can handle the hot flashes since I've been having them through chemo. Hoping for the best I went ahead with immediate reconstruction, so I'm dealing w/the tissue expanders/healing/trying to get back flexibility. They are NO picnic! It may be for naught if the radiation oncologist wants them deflated to make zapping easier.

PureE what is your family gene mutation? I'm wondering if my clan should test for something else b/c we have lots of women.

 Thanks gain so much everyone. You've made me feel better already!! I'm sending positive thoughts to all of you.

going on tamoxifin now is a good thing verus  waiting until after rads.

Also, make sure he gives you the test that sees if you matabolizes tamoxfin.

I'm in awe of those of you who have small children while going through this. Although I'm never happy to hear about others in similar circumstances, it does help to know that others are fighting this with good results.

I started tamoxifen 3 days ago. I will likely finish the expander fills in the next couple of weeks and start rads shortly thereafter (appointment is next week). I've been reading a lot about Zometa on this site and will ask my doctor. She's actually referring me to another onc in Indianapolis (ones who are more breast specialists) to determine the best way to shut down my ovaries. That may entail an ooph, which I have no problem with.

I'm also going to ask for the test how well I metabolize tamoxifen. She said that it's only done if you're on other meds that may interfere with the drug. I take Prevacid for GERD, ambian to sleep at night (a side effect for me of the chemo) and xanax now and then for anxiety. I spoke with my pharmacist and they said it should all be ok. Has anyone heard about problems with these drugs and tamoxifen?

Nancy D, thanks so much for sharing. Our diagnoses sound very similar (actually almost the same). Do you mind sharing whole treatment? I think what I'm doing is pretty standard (dose intensive AC & Tax), bi-lateral mastectomy, tamoxifen, rads. I went ahead w/immediate reconstruction (my rad onc was against, but I spoke w/others who advise go for it), but now I'm second guessing. The stupid cancer makes me second guess everything. My onc is having me get a second opinion from a onc breast specialist about treatment, which I appreciate.

I'm gradually coming to terms w/things. To be honest, this is probably the first time in the whole process I've actually grieved getting the cancer. When first diagnosed I was pragmatic and it was all pretty surreal. I was more upset about my mom and sister. However, that's when I thought my tumor was responding well to chemo and I only had 1 lymph node--now it feels like a sucker punch.

I'm glad I reached out to this community b/c everyone who has responded is helping get my perspective back. I'm HOPING that my ER+/PR+, HER2- and borderline Grade 2 status gives me a pretty good prognosis that's better than all the crazy stats I've decided to stop reading!

How are you doing now? Cheers, Georgia