Topic: Doing a Video
- Posted on: Nov 6, 2009 04:43 pm
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 889
I'm sure this topic was covered on the boards before. Today, I taped my DH doing a video for the boys (8 and 6). Since he was an attorney in another life, the first time we ran it I felt like I was taping a deposition, and told him so. He spent a lot of time talking about how his expectations of the boys, and wasn't able to relax and talk about, among other things, himself and how much he loved them. The second time was a little better.
I had no idea how hard it was going to be to do this. It got me all choked up just thinking about what I wanted to say to them. It was really windy and cold around here, and we did it later in the day, so I wasn't camera-ready. I'll probably do mine later in the week. My first thoughts when I started to think about how I wanted to do mine was about how I felt when I saw each of my boys for the first time-for us moms it's just the most beautiful moment ever and defies description.
It's not like I'm doing this because I think anything is imminent. I just feel like these kind of things are a lot harder to do if/when things change for the worse.
What are your ideas on how best to do this, and what topics to cover?
Diagnosis: 7/23/2006, IDC, <1cm, Stage IIIa, Grade 2, 8/20 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+
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KerryMac Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,699 |
Nov 6, 2009 05:00 pm
KerryMac wrote:
Oh my, just thinking about this make me want to cry. I am not sure I could get through it. I think it is a wonderful thing to be doing. I have a good friend who lost her mother when she was 18, and has told me several times how she wishes she had a video of her. Just being able to hear her voice, see her mannerisms, etc. I do remember seeing someone on Oprah once, I think she had BC (this was years ago) and knew she was dying. She did hours of video for her children, it was such a gift. She talked about all sorts of things - from how to apply make-up, to how important it was to not hate future women her husband would date. She said she wanted to cover everything she wouldn't be there to say in person. I think special memories - like how you felt when you first saw them, would be lovely as well. Also just hearing you tell them how much you love them - no-one can ever get enough of that! I will be interested to hear what other ideas people have, this is a good thing for us all to be thinking of. Kerry - Mx, Chemo, Rads, Ooph, Arimidex, Zometa
Diagnosis: 11/2008, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIa, Grade 3, 6/11 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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NancyD Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 2,195 |
Nov 6, 2009 05:02 pm
NancyD wrote:
A special surprise they gave you...how you appreciated it. Some things about your family...sibling relationships or special times with your grandparents. Dfferent places you lived growing up and how you felt about them. Some scary times for you as a kid. Things you did that made your parents very proud...things your children have done that made YOU very proud. Oh, and if you can, pull out some old photos, show them on the video and name the people in them. I say that because we have tones of old photos that no one alive is in, and I can't indentify them though I know they're relatives. I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.
Diagnosis: 2/28/2008, IDC, Stage IIIa, Grade 2, 4/10 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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KerryMac Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,699 |
Nov 6, 2009 05:04 pm
KerryMac wrote:
Just had another thought - the story of how you and your husband met, your courtship, etc. I don't even know that about my own parents! Kerry - Mx, Chemo, Rads, Ooph, Arimidex, Zometa
Diagnosis: 11/2008, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIa, Grade 3, 6/11 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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Fitztwins Joined: Dec 2004 Posts: 7,731 |
Nov 6, 2009 07:17 pm
Fitztwins wrote:
I can't stomach doing this. A letter journal yes, but video? It tears me up inside. Let me know if your boys appreciate it. It must have been hard for DH to do. Wash away my troubles, wash away my pain, with the rain of shambala
Diagnosis: 12/12/2004, IDC, Stage IV, Grade 2, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2+ |
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lexi4 Joined: Nov 2005 Posts: 2,230 |
Nov 6, 2009 07:27 pm
lexi4 wrote:
Oh Bobbie, it tears me up just thinking about it too. I cry fairly easily and don't know that I'd be able to get through a video. I think it is a precious gift for your boys and all the above ideas are very good. The boys are blessed to have both of you!! Lexi Diagnosis: 8/22/2005, IBC, 3cm, Stage IIIb, Grade 3, 5/6 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ |
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SpunkyGirl Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 889 |
Nov 6, 2009 08:36 pm
SpunkyGirl wrote:
Wow, so many good ideas here. I'm taking notes. Yes, this is something that is going to tear me up to do, but I think I'll approach it as something I'm doing so they have some footage of me with relatively few wrinkles. I'd love to have a video of my mom and dad. It would be so cool. So I'm going to do this with the idea that we'll all be watching it together in 20 years and talking about how geeky their mom looked! Kerry, I love the idea of doing a series of videos, and Nancy, all your ideas are great. There's so much I want to tell the boys. I was talking to a girlfriend on the phone and telling her that I'm crying even thinking about it, and she said, "Well, then do it one sentence at a time, then come back later if you have to." I'll let you know how it goes.... "There's a light at the end of this tunnel for you." Third Day
Diagnosis: 7/23/2006, IDC, <1cm, Stage IIIa, Grade 2, 8/20 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ |
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Bugs Joined: Jan 2006 Posts: 1,363 |
Nov 6, 2009 09:14 pm
Bugs wrote:
Bobbie, what a hard thing to do for you and DH. There was somebody the local news station was doing a piece on...a Mom of toddlers. She would keep the camera in the living room and just do short little snippets of info at a time. Now her kids have a whole box of DVD's of her Mom talking about the past, present and her hopes for their future. Of course, I was sobbing while watching the piece. Diagnosis: 2/1/2006, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIa, Grade 3, 3/16 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- |
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lorieg Joined: Aug 2009 Posts: 45 |
Nov 6, 2009 09:32 pm
lorieg wrote:
I am planning on doing this along with a bunch of other projects I am working on for the kids. My kids are so young (4 years and 10 months) so I have this fear that they will not remember me or know HOW MUCH I loved them. I don't even know where to start on the video! Are you planning on doing it all at one time or make it more of a long-term thing, bits here and there....maybe that is how I need to do it. Also, are you doing one video for both boys? Iwas going to do one for my daughter and one for my son, but that may be too much. Sorry, more questions and no answers for you, but you have a lot of great ideas here! Lori, age 33, dx IBC, IIIC or IV (??cancer in lymph node in opposite axilla from my "bad" breast- mets vs. occult tumor in "good" breast?), Grade 3, ER+/PR-/Her2+
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everyminute… Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,029 |
Nov 6, 2009 09:42 pm
everyminute wrote:
My father, a bit of a narcisist really (I am not joking) recorded his whole life story on little cassette tapes - I am glad he did it. No mention of me other than "Mary Katherine was born in March of 69" I am just part of HIS story :-) My mother in law died 6 years ago - I still have a voice mail she left me on my work phone. Just good to know her voice is there - brings it all back to me. That being said, I couldnt do it. When I was first diagnosed I wracked my brain and wrote down every funny memory that I could remember thinking I would add to it - but I havent. I did used to have my picture taken - but since diagnosis I try to smile and know that some day they may look back and want to remember.... I am writing my daughter's senior ad for the high school year booktonight - this is what I have so far..... I am not done editing yet but it is my start. When you were two, you had such pretty curls and big brown eyes. I envied them. When you were four, you were so kind and sweet, I admired that. When you were eight, you had so much patience, I could have used some of it! When you were twelve, well, let's not talk about that. When you were fourteen, I got you back again, I was so glad! Now you are all grown up and I want to be just like you when I grow up! I love you, Mommy Long May She Run
Diagnosis: 6/5/2008, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIIa, Grade 3, 5/20 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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everyminute… Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,029 |
Nov 6, 2009 09:43 pm
everyminute wrote:
Spunkygirl - You are brave and strong and always will do what is right and good for the boys. I hope you bring the video camera to fla and catch lots of belly laughs and happy moments! Long May She Run
Diagnosis: 6/5/2008, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIIa, Grade 3, 5/20 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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Gitane Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 829 |
Nov 7, 2009 01:08 am
Gitane wrote:
I like the idea of leaving a camera set up and letting it run from time to time. This could maybe be in addition to the other type of video. Instead of the living room I think the kitchen/dining area would be great. I see people talking while cooking, snacking, etc., just being themselves. I have an audio tape that has my grandfather's voice as he was sitting in our kitchen one day. It's in the background because the tape was running for another reason. How I cherish that voice. He wasn't doing anything special that day, but it is so him, and the only thing anyone in our family has with his voice. Catching ourselves being ourselves would be the fun of it, I think. No pressure. Dx 8/18/05, Pleomorphic ILC, multifocal, multicentric, G2, 1/9 nodes positive, OncotypeDX 23, ER+ PR- Her2-
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NancyD Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 2,195 |
Nov 7, 2009 08:26 am
NancyD wrote:
During one of our family reunions, we took a tour of all the places my father lived in in NYC. They happened to all be in The Bronx, so it was an easy afternoon of driving around, jumping out to take pictures in front of the buildings and then heading off to the next place. We were three minivans full of people, lol, and must have looked like a strange crew. It was three generations of my family. Along the way, we communicated via our cell phones (had them on speaker) and my Dad gave a running narrative of annecdotes. A few brothers gave their side of things, too. We have the pictures and adding those to a family video would be priceless. Someday, I'll get around to putting that together with some other memories. But it's good to know I've got them. If you have the editing chops (or know someone who does), you could make this a real good combination of video, photos, music. I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.
Diagnosis: 2/28/2008, IDC, Stage IIIa, Grade 2, 4/10 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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SpunkyGirl Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 889 |
Nov 7, 2009 11:55 am
SpunkyGirl wrote:
I love your posts, Mary. I'm stealing the idea of things to say about each of my boys at different ages (exhausting???, but loving Love "There's a light at the end of this tunnel for you." Third Day
Diagnosis: 7/23/2006, IDC, <1cm, Stage IIIa, Grade 2, 8/20 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ |
). Lorie, I'm starting out with one video where I kind of put it all out there, and then I'll add others to it. I like the idea of the camera in the kitchen. We live a lot there.