All Topics → Forum: Stage III Breast Cancer → Topic: You know you're a cancer patient when....
Posted on: Jul 25, 2010 01:49 AM
AnacortesGirl wrote:
OK ladies. I know this may go over like a lead balloon but I have a weird sense of humor. And in the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy and his redneck jokes I thought we might have enough material to do some cancer jokes.
You know you are a cancer patient when ...
You read a book and you laugh when the subject has been diagnosed with cancer and their first question to the oncologist is "Will I lose my hair?".
Your onc says that you need a transfusion and you ask "Can I get that from a nineteen year old?"
When your onc asks you the folllowing "Are you fatigued? Apetite OK? Any neuropathy? Bowels OK?" and you respond with "Can't you come up with any new questions?" and the onc responds with "I get paid to ask these questions!"
Posts 3391 - 3420 (3,902 total)
Jun 7, 2012 08:28 PM NativeMainer wrote:
I had to read that one twice! LMAO!!!
Jun 7, 2012 08:32 PM shells43 wrote:
Ha Ha!!!
Jun 8, 2012 10:52 PM Denise-G wrote:
Now that's funny!
Jun 10, 2012 03:07 PM Wren44 wrote:
YKYACP when a young woman with shaved head comes to the cat adoption event and you immediately assume she's on chemo rather than a punk rocker. When she bends over to pet your cat, you glance to see if she has cleavage on both sides.
Jun 10, 2012 05:48 PM Momine wrote:
Badger and Wren, you are both funny. I know what you mean about trying to spy out the cleavage, lol. I sometimes catch myself lest I be taken for a perv.
Jun 10, 2012 06:12 PM Dutchie wrote:
You have more scars than a gang member after a knife fight!
Jun 10, 2012 07:08 PM Elizabeth1889 wrote:
YKYACP when you attend a survivor luncheon hosted by your treatment center and you count the number of people in the room who have seen you without your clothes on.
Jun 11, 2012 12:21 AM mom2twins34 wrote:
I love coming to this thread for a pick-me-up! You are all so funny...
YKYACP when you open your sock drawer and realize you have more of those hospital 'no-slip' socks than regular socks...
Jun 11, 2012 12:44 AM Hindsfeet wrote:
My first 3 dx's I didn't feel like a cancer patient. I do now. I felt like a cancer patient when I was asked to find a chair in the chemo lounge. I felt like a cancer patient when I was assigned an oncologist, and even more when I walked into the cancer center. And...when ... I've had every type of scan within a few months, PET, CT, X-Rays, Bone Density, and of course mri's (also mammo's and ultra sound)....also lots of echo's. And...I am reminded I am a cancer person when everyone who sees me ask how's my health. I look fine, but now I have an invisable sign on me that says "Cancer". I said to someone today, who asked, we all will die sometime...we just don't know how or from what. Right now, I'm focused on living. She smiled and agreed.
Jun 11, 2012 02:47 AM sas-schatzi wrote:
MOM2-so true about the hospital socks, Particularly when they are different colors b/c the colors signify different things to staff. Standard brown means your just a regular patient>>>>red means your a "falls risk". So, that means a status change, Bummer the first time I went to red
Jun 11, 2012 05:29 AM Momine wrote:
Now I am all bummed out ;) They don't give you color-coded socks in Greek hospitals. :(
Jun 11, 2012 07:47 AM lvtwoqlt wrote:
YKYACP when you go into a restaurant that you haven't gone to for at least 6 months and realize that one of the waitresses has chemo curls now instead of her usual long hair but you don't want to intrude on her personal space and ask where the cancer was at.
Sheila
Jun 11, 2012 10:30 AM gardengumby wrote:
sas - the hospitals I've been in don't color code socks - they put a bracelet on that indicates falls risk. Unfortunately, the DO NOT DO BP ON THIS ARM was the same color as the falls risk in one hospital. I wasn't at risk of falling, but I was at risk of ripping the face off the medical attendant who continued to turn on the bed alarm. (For those who haven't had the pleasure of having a bed alarm - if you get out of bed when it's turned on it makes the most disgusting noises - and you again feel like some kind of a freak.)
I hate hospitals.
YKYACP when you look at women and the street and say to yourself - one in seven - I wonder how many women I pass each day have had cancer. Are you one???
Jun 11, 2012 11:03 AM julz4 wrote:
Garden...I'm sorry you had to go through that. The government/employers have a hold on nurses & their licence if a patient falls. Or just being employed! The more incidence a facility has the less safe (if you will) they are deemed! Each incidence adds up! With so much info of new patients day in & out. They were looking for easier ways for immediate ID of potential problems by doing the color coding. I would contact the Hospital & let them know that this was NOT working & why. That had you been asleep or under the effects of medicine & they took a BP in that arm thinking you were a Fall Risk instead of a NO BP or BLOOD DRAW in that arm which could of resulted in severe consequences to YOU! They need a better system for YOU or any other person in that same situation.
YKYACP when your talking to people who know you have BC or are just finding out for the first time, there eyes constantly drift to your breasts!
I mean come on it's not gonna jump out of my body & bite you....or worse. I never had the chest to get mens attention but now they seem to have everyones attentention. It's just really kind of strange one minute they are talking to your face & the next....
Jun 11, 2012 11:22 AM sas-schatzi wrote:
Julz so right on the wandering eyes. ------Between Dh and I , a whole drawer could be filled with hospital socks
Gardengrumby my main hospital has the red bracelet for Falls alert too, pink for latex, yellow for allergy,I think blue for limb alert white for Name /numbers i.d., They are pretty standardized now for color coding, started b/c staff working at multiple centers it reduced errors. Bottomline, you can have allot of bracelets on ---ditto to Julz about bed alarm. Someone falls and they were on falls percautions, that weren't followed---may mean unemployment and it's open to lawsuit.
Jun 12, 2012 01:03 AM mom2twins34 wrote:
"22 hours ago sas-schatzi wrote:
MOM2-so true about the hospital socks, Particularly when they are different colors b/c the colors signify different things to staff. Standard brown means your just a regular patient>>>>red means your a "falls risk". So, that means a status change, Bummer the first time I went to red"
SAS, sorry to hear about you going to red! They don't color code at mine--just a blue-grey color. My sock drawer looks pretty boring--though it sounds like it's not worth the extra color choices if they brand you while you're inpatient! 
Jun 12, 2012 10:43 AM Sonata wrote:
....when at 35, you understand what it feels like to be 75, thanks to being shoved into menopause permanently.
~Cate
Jun 12, 2012 11:22 AM Sonata wrote:
...when before leaving the house, you aren't looking for keys/wallet/sunglasses, instead you look for hair, boobs and whether they're all in the right place!
Jun 12, 2012 03:19 PM Dutchie wrote:
Just wanted to say how much I totally relate to those last two posts Sonata! Very true!
Jun 12, 2012 06:14 PM lauri wrote:
YKYACP when your new (post-BC) husband thinks all BC patients have a great sense of humor because you quote items from this site.
Jun 12, 2012 06:40 PM Sonata wrote:
YKYACPW you have a scarf or bandanna in every color to match any outfit you could possibly come up with. Also for any situation---church ones, other dressy ones, bandannas to wear while hanging out at home, others that do in a pinch if going out to dinner. You get my drift.
Jun 12, 2012 06:47 PM MichelleMassey wrote:
Hi all! New to this thread. Just want you to know your posts kept me very entertained through chemo today. Badger your odd numbered breasts almost made me choke I was laughing so hard! I have one...
When you get pulled over for speeding and you take your hat off to show bald head and tell him you're running late for chemo appointment. (I was actually headed to Walmart).
Jun 12, 2012 07:01 PM Denise-G wrote:
YKYACPW you are at your first radiation treatment appointment and the GOOD LOOKING MALE TECH named Brad comes in to introduce himself. First thing he says is, "Oops you dropped something!" You look down and there is your foob lying on the radiation room floor!
Jun 12, 2012 07:17 PM Infobabe wrote:
Someone should publish a book of these. Make a million.
Jun 12, 2012 07:40 PM jantoo1 wrote:
When you suddenly find out you have no idea where scarfs are at Walmart or Target.
Jun 13, 2012 07:41 AM barsco1963 wrote:
Denise-G - oh my - too funny and a little embarassing no doubt?
Jun 16, 2012 03:15 PM Iz_and_Lys_Mum wrote:
You have to explain to the very nice but very young nurse showing you round what the Nuclear Medicine ward actually does. Huh? I thought YOU worked here, not me! I think she thought it was some kind of secret bomb making facility hidden in hospital... :-)
Jun 16, 2012 05:57 PM Momine wrote:
Triple, you are a BAD girl, ROFL
Jun 18, 2012 07:56 PM Bluebird-Essa wrote:
YKYACPW you know the ssecret breast cancer language, and every nurse and tech you encounter who has not had bc doesn't so needs it explained.
Jun 19, 2012 06:40 AM julz4 wrote:
So True DianeEssa! They look at you with a duh, huh, wha! I was talking with a couple from church, he's a Dr. & his wife a CPA. They knew about my DX & asked how I was so I started the medical talk & the wife is looking at Dr hubby in askance & Dr. admitts he is not up on the BC stuff! He is just a GP!
But then I met my MO yesterday & when he walked in the first words out of his mouth were "my nurse told me to hire you". She was so impressed with my knowledge & how thourough my Medical History & Paper work were!