Posted on: Jul 25, 2010 01:49 AM
OK ladies. I know this may go over like a lead balloon but I have a weird sense of humor. And in the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy and his redneck jokes I thought we might have enough material to do some cancer jokes.
You know you are a cancer patient when ...
You read a book and you laugh when the subject has been diagnosed with cancer and their first question to the oncologist is "Will I lose my hair?".
Your onc says that you need a transfusion and you ask "Can I get that from a nineteen year old?"
When your onc asks you the folllowing "Are you fatigued? Apetite OK? Any neuropathy? Bowels OK?" and you respond with "Can't you come up with any new questions?" and the onc responds with "I get paid to ask these questions!"
Posts 61 - 90 (3,908 total)
Jul 27, 2010 07:00 PM changes wrote:
Anacortes Girl - this was a GREAT idea for a thread! I've been reading through these and laughed and laughed! I particularly loved the post by Momand2kids. Keep them coming!
Jul 27, 2010 07:21 PM MicheleS wrote:
when your name has been on the church bulletin for over a year.
when your response to anything bad/painful/stressful (but not cancer-related) is "well, at least it's not chemo"...
Jul 27, 2010 07:26 PM MicheleS wrote:
when you vomit just thinking about the chemo-suite...
when you vomit in the elevator on the way to see your onc (and you aren't on chemo-anymore!)
when your pharmacist knows you by name...
when your pharmacist calls to check up on you because you haven't been in for a while (happened today! LOL!).
when your onc texts you a "happy birthday" message and you cry hysterically.
when your therapist hugs you and she isn't a "huggy" type of therapist.
Jul 27, 2010 07:51 PM pickle wrote:
When you're the envy of everyone at Girls night out because you didn't have to pay for your Brazillian
Jul 28, 2010 01:10 AM still-kickin wrote:
When people STOP teasing you about your age on your birthday and congratulate you ....and your proud .
When you are still in your pj's, drinking coffee at 10 a.m. on Monday morning and you start complaining cos you WANT to go to work.
Jul 28, 2010 02:49 AM krcll wrote:
when you go in the pharmacy and actually know what all the drugs are for because you already have most of them in your medicine cabinet!
Jul 28, 2010 02:50 AM krcll wrote:
when you smile very broadly at anyone else with super-short hair because you are convinced they also have chemo-hair.
Jul 28, 2010 02:58 AM krcll wrote:
when you break down crying at Penny's because you had heard they had mastectomy bras and you kept looking and looking and didn't find them and you just didn't want to do the hushed voice thing of asking if they had -whisper-"masctectomy" bras and, damn it, I just want to be like everyone else and be able buy my bras without feeling like I am a freak just because I have to have a pocket in mine!!
Jul 28, 2010 08:33 AM Karen09 wrote:
....when you have bought enough immodium to have shares in the company....and are afraid to go out in public without it.
....and when you have a planned "outing" with friends, get the diarrhea, and pop an Immodium like nothing and go about your plans. Before BC I would have cancelled and taken it easy. During BC, going out with friends was too precious to cancel barring an emergency and diarrhea was too normal to let it ruin the day.
Jul 28, 2010 09:33 AM AussieSheila wrote:
When you turn up at the prearranged time for an Estee Lauder make-over, determined not to buy anything afterwards, but get anything you want for nothing because your scarf fell off.
...........and when the scarf fell off, your naked head was covered in hickeys left behind by son sticking suction cups all over it.
Jul 28, 2010 03:22 PM KittyDog wrote:
When your seven year old tells the lady at the cash register that the Dr. cut mommy's boob off.
When you are excited that you only have two hairs under your arm to shave.
When you are happy because somebody tells you that you don't look so yellow and pale anymore.
Jul 28, 2010 03:24 PM KittyDog wrote:
When having a wreck doesn't seem so bad compared to what you have been going through.
Jul 28, 2010 06:58 PM jenn3 wrote:
when you find yourself sitting in the waiting room at a regular dr's appointment telling the people next to you the short cuts (back entrance) into and out of the busy parking garage and through the building(s).
your chest is flatter than your stomach..........
Jul 28, 2010 07:34 PM mimiof4 wrote:
People keep telling you how good you look, and you wonder, "If I look so good in a wig and have no eyelashes and one eyebrow (the other drawn on), how bad did I look before I had cancer?
Jul 28, 2010 09:00 PM KittyDog wrote:
when you are excited to show your facebook friends your fingernails have finally grown back long enough you can paint them.
Jul 28, 2010 10:30 PM, edited Jul 28, 2010 10:31 PM by Faith316When the lint roller isn't working so well on your head anymore so you start using duct tape to get those "prickles" out. Duct tape works great. Here is the funniest thing we did. I had some "prickles" that just wouldn't fall out and the lint roller and duct tape wouldn't pull them out. I was so tired of having them. My friend got a pair of really fine point tweezers and for hours over several days, would patiently sit and pick my prickles out. He guesses he picked out several thousand. Now, that is a TRUE friend!
Jul 28, 2010 10:34 PM Faith316 wrote:
When everybody wants to touch your head; first when it is bald, and then when the baby-soft duckling fuzz starts growing in. (Kind of like when you are pregnant and everybody wants to rub your belly.)
Jul 28, 2010 10:39 PM YramAL wrote:
I really have nothing new to add, but I know that I have absolutely no modesty left as far as showing my breasts! They've been squeezed and photographed more times than I can count. I mentioned to the radiation tech that I might as well go without the robe because i just didn't care anymore who saw my boobs, and she said, "Honey, the robes are for the other patients. You don't want to shock them....."
Jul 28, 2010 11:30 PM marcy4 wrote:
I cannot think of anything to add, but I love this thread. It certainly is good that we can all laugh about what has happened to us. Despite all the drugs we are taking, have taken, or will take, laughter really is the best, and easier to take, medicene.