Aug 28, 2007 03:47 AM jacqniel wrote:Joe,
I can hear in your writing your fears and frustrations. Your wife is blessed to have such a caring person by her side.
Every cancer survivor is different in his/her desire to know details. Personally, I want to know everything I can in order to combat this beast - but I DON'T want anyone telling me how long I have to live - as it is only a guess. Only God knows how many days we have on this earth. But, that said, I also like to live in denial land - where cancer doesn't exist and I can pretend I am healthy.
As far as how can you support your wife - here are my thoughts:
Try to treat her as normally as possible.
Let her know you love her.
Laugh with her.
Talk about the future and if possible, make plans - a trip, a visit, dinner out, etc. Give her hope.
If she is in pain or depressed, speak to her doctor about these concerns.
Be her advocate and research treatments, etc.
Make sure her spiritual needs are being met.
If in doubt about her treatment - seek a second opinion.
As far as questioning her onc, before you go to her next appointment, discuss what questions you have with your wife and write them down. If there are answers she doesn't want to hear, ask to speak with the onc privately.
Finally, don't forget to take care of yourself. Take some time for YOU. You won't do her any good if your health fails, too.
I have said a prayer of healing, strength and comfort for you and your wife. Please also visit the Recurrance and Metastatic thread on this board. You will find many knowledgeable and compassionate people there.