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Topic: Starting Chemo October 2012

Forum: Chemotherapy - Before, During and After — Regimens, side effects, and support from others going through chemo.

Posted on: Sep 21, 2012 10:17AM

halfcan wrote:

I am new to posting in the forums and I am looking to find others here to share in the journey in the many months ahead.   My chemo start date is October 4th.  I have my chemo class on Monday, MUGA for next Friday, still awaiting a date for inserting the Port.   It has been a crazy road so far.  I found the lump myself and the mammogram showed nothing.  2 1/2+ cm lump and the test didn't see it.  First time I have ever heard of the term "dense breast tissue".  From there MRI and biopsy happened pretty fast.  Then surgery...over one week later given the news of four cancerous lymph nodes also.  That led to bones scan and CT scan to look for spreading.   Awaiting the results was terrifying.   I am lucky as they didn't find any metastasis in those tests.  Finally saw the oncologist yesterday who informed me of the aggressive nature of my cancer and told me I would be getting blasted with the variety of treatments.  Chemo first in 6 sessions, then radiation and 5 years harmone therapy!   I have been to these forums before to read posts but today I decided it was time to join.   I have read wonderful and informative comments here and I think it will be good to share and make new friends facing similiar obstacles.   

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Nov 30, 2012 01:10PM fight4two wrote:

Ugh... 3+ days post first taxotere and my face and tongue is swollen. I look like I got my wisdom teeth out again!! So even tho my appetite is better than with AC, I can't eat! Any meds to reduce face swelling/pain?? It hurts to swallow so I can't really hydrate either!

Dx 8/20/2012, IDC, 3cm, 2/9 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Chemotherapy 10/02/2012 Adriamycin, CytoxanChemotherapy 11/27/2012 TaxotereSurgery 01/21/2013 Lumpectomy (Right); Lymph Node Removal: Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Right)Radiation Therapy 03/05/2013 External
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Nov 30, 2012 01:20PM schoolmom wrote:

If it was me, I would check with doctor.  Make sure no allergic reaction going on. 

saved my hair with cold caps with oncotype 21

Dx 9/12/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage Ib, Grade 3, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 09/28/2012 Lumpectomy (Left)Surgery 09/28/2012 Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Chemotherapy 11/05/2012 Cytoxan, TaxotereChemotherapy 11/26/2012 Cytoxan, TaxotereChemotherapy 12/17/2012 Cytoxan, TaxotereRadiation Therapy 01/28/2013 External, 3-D conformal external beam radiationHormonal Therapy 03/21/2013 ArimidexChemotherapy 01/07/2014 Cytoxan, Taxotere
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Nov 30, 2012 05:33PM Toots wrote:

.....allergic to anti-biotics and that is exactly the reaction face, tongue and throat swollen can't eat drink and eventually can't breathe - please get yourself to a dr asap..........

Fear knocks at the door, let Faith answer it- there won't be anyone there

Dx 8/11/2012, IDC, 2cm, Grade 3, 20/20 nodes, metsSurgery 08/30/2012 Lumpectomy (Right); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection, Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Right)Chemotherapy 10/08/2012 Cytoxan, Ellence, fluorouracil, Taxotere
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Nov 30, 2012 05:52PM itsmytime2 wrote:

Hi Fight,  I had a mild reaction to Taxotere but it was during chemo.  My nurse monitered me carefully and noted every little thing that was happening to me.  So for my second round of chemo, they administered benadryl before treatment.  So you may want to ask for some next time and be sure to let your doctor know.  But as for now you need to get checked out.

Dx 3/3/2010, IDC, 3cm, Stage IV, mets, ER+, HER2+Dx 8/16/2012, IDC, mets
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Dec 3, 2012 01:43AM lisap74 wrote:

Hi Caitgrace! I just finished #3 of 4 of cytoxin and taxotier on Wednesday. Did you have decadron in your treatment too? I'm super bloated and have been for days and I'm drinking tons of fluids and my teeth are aching bad along with the metallic taste in my mouth. Do you have any suggestions for these symptoms? Did you experience these as well? Thanks for any suggestions! Hope you are well too!!!!!

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Dec 3, 2012 02:40AM Caitgrace wrote:

I do get "dex" prior to treatment and then two pills for two days after. I have a certain amount of mouth ache almost from the get go but no bloating though I know it's a common symptom. Ladies ? Anyone else out there have any advise? Remember too lisap that your onco doc/nurse is there to help-- I call mine all the time with any concerns or questions and their add on meds have really made a difference in my comfort

Dx 7/6/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Hormonal Therapy TamoxifenSurgery 08/07/2012 Lumpectomy (Right)Radiation Therapy 09/04/2012 ExternalChemotherapy 10/18/2012 Cytoxan, Taxotere
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Dec 3, 2012 04:22AM schoolmom wrote:

I had bad bloating the first time but not the second...bad taste from days 5-10 or so.  I usually only tolerate popsicles and minimal food for those days.  I dropped 3 pounds the first time but this time on day 8 have dropped 6 so far.  No mouth sores, numbness pain , teeth issues etc....I suck on ice for 1 1/2 hours during Tax. infusion.

saved my hair with cold caps with oncotype 21

Dx 9/12/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage Ib, Grade 3, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 09/28/2012 Lumpectomy (Left)Surgery 09/28/2012 Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Chemotherapy 11/05/2012 Cytoxan, TaxotereChemotherapy 11/26/2012 Cytoxan, TaxotereChemotherapy 12/17/2012 Cytoxan, TaxotereRadiation Therapy 01/28/2013 External, 3-D conformal external beam radiationHormonal Therapy 03/21/2013 ArimidexChemotherapy 01/07/2014 Cytoxan, Taxotere
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Dec 3, 2012 05:34AM CelineFlower wrote:

somehow... forgot to suck on ice this time...

my mouth feels like a hairy gumbie bear

I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me! ~Dr. Seuss

Dx 8/31/2012, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIa, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2-Dx 9/17/2012, LCISChemotherapy 09/27/2012 Adriamycin, CytoxanChemotherapy 12/19/2012 TaxolSurgery 04/30/2013 Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection (Right)Surgery 04/30/2013 Lumpectomy (Both)Radiation Therapy 07/09/2013 External
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Dec 3, 2012 05:38AM schoolmom wrote:

Oh yeah that disgusting hairy fuzzy feeling....I have that for 5 days or so.  That is why I cant eat or drink anything.  I just dont have any sores or pain

saved my hair with cold caps with oncotype 21

Dx 9/12/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage Ib, Grade 3, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 09/28/2012 Lumpectomy (Left)Surgery 09/28/2012 Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Chemotherapy 11/05/2012 Cytoxan, TaxotereChemotherapy 11/26/2012 Cytoxan, TaxotereChemotherapy 12/17/2012 Cytoxan, TaxotereRadiation Therapy 01/28/2013 External, 3-D conformal external beam radiationHormonal Therapy 03/21/2013 ArimidexChemotherapy 01/07/2014 Cytoxan, Taxotere
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Dec 3, 2012 12:12PM halfcan wrote:

Sorry, can't help with the Taxotere SE's.   I get #4 on Wednesday but it will be my first Taxotere.   I will be icing my fingers and sucking on ice but no toes!   I think the Cytoxan gives the fuzzy mouth because in my first chemo I didn't suck on ice chips and it was horrible.  My mouth hurt, gums bled and tongue was fuzzy, disgusting.   Nurse told me to ice the next go around and I didn't have hardly any mouth issues.  Gums still some soreness but not unbearable.   Also I rinsed with baking soda/water mix at least 3 times a day.   My Dexamethasone prescription is for three days, two pills twice a day starting the day before chemo for Taxotere.  It is twice as much of what I was getting before per dose.   I got puffy and red faced before so it will be interesting to see how this goes.   I will be talking to my MO tomorrow after blood workup about a pain script for the Nuepogen bone pain.  Last time it lasted for three days and wasn't pleasant!   I took so many Tylenol it was rediculous so going for something stronger.  :-) 

It's been a few days since we have heard from Toots I think?   Hope you are ok!

Caitgrace ... love the avatar with the cute toque!

It's been pretty quiet on this forum...hope everyone is doing ok...maybe we are all prepping for the holidays?

Hugs everyone  :-)

Knowledge is our power and it will help kick fears' ass!

Dx 7/9/2012, IDC, 4cm, Stage II, Grade 3, 4/13 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 07/31/2012 Mastectomy (Left); Lymph Node Removal: Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Chemotherapy 10/04/2012 Cytoxan, Ellence, fluorouracilChemotherapy 12/05/2012 TaxotereRadiation Therapy 02/13/2013 ExternalHormonal Therapy 04/03/2013 Femara
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Dec 3, 2012 12:47PM Caitgrace wrote:

Day four post #3 treatment -- constipated. Enuf said.

Guess if things don't change I'll be calling the doc. in the morning... Boo was looking forward to dinner.

Dx 7/6/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Hormonal Therapy TamoxifenSurgery 08/07/2012 Lumpectomy (Right)Radiation Therapy 09/04/2012 ExternalChemotherapy 10/18/2012 Cytoxan, Taxotere
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Dec 3, 2012 12:55PM LouBar wrote:

Halfcan - I'll be thinking of you on Wednesday and hoping for fewer SEs with the Taxotere than the FEC -for your sake and mine :)  Interesting re. your Dexamethasone prescription, I just had the anti-nausea meds, not that they seemed effective.  My MO offered a steroid but I declined not wanting any other new SEs and wanting to just cope with the ones on FEC.  I hope you also get some relief from the Neupogen.  I'm now on Neulasta, doing the Claritin and Tylenol (should buy shares in Tylenol) and found this time everything was sensitive to the touch.  I'm glad to be half way done but feel quite scared of the Taxotere....so I will be staying tuned to hear how you are doing and hope it is great!

Felt a bit emotional this week post chemo, seemed every newspaper article or talk show had a story on breast cancer or someone with cancer, just couldn't avoid it.  I'm sure I'm more aware of anything "cancer related" but it does seem that there are just more stories / information and some of it just breaks your heart :(  Looking forward to hearing from Toots and her silver linings as I need to be in that frame of mind. 

Wishing you all well ...hugs to all 

Dx 8/27/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIIa, Grade 2, 5/7 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 08/30/2012 Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Surgery 09/19/2012 Lymph Node Removal: Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Chemotherapy 10/12/2012 Cytoxan, Ellence, fluorouracil, TaxotereRadiation Therapy 02/27/2013 ExternalHormonal Therapy 04/11/2013 Tamoxifen
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Dec 3, 2012 01:05PM halfcan wrote:

Caitgrace - I too had that problem...every time.   Took senna, but never enough.  The first two chemos I had to do glycerin suppository cause it got too far out of control.  This last time I took three senna tabs - three times a day and it worked by day 3.  So much better.  Got it figured out just in time to change chemo drugs and who knows what this new one will bring?  Could go the other way?  Good luck.  :-)

LouBar - I know it can be tough keeping the spirits up.   I find it harder lately too...maybe it's the holidays and all the needed prep that I don't feel like doing.  I just try to remember this will all end before the winter does!! 

Knowledge is our power and it will help kick fears' ass!

Dx 7/9/2012, IDC, 4cm, Stage II, Grade 3, 4/13 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 07/31/2012 Mastectomy (Left); Lymph Node Removal: Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Chemotherapy 10/04/2012 Cytoxan, Ellence, fluorouracilChemotherapy 12/05/2012 TaxotereRadiation Therapy 02/13/2013 ExternalHormonal Therapy 04/03/2013 Femara
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Dec 3, 2012 11:42PM Toots wrote:

..........sorry girls, not been around for a bit, was feeling really day 2 of chemo - really unusual not usually feeling good till at least 3 or 4.......spent the entire day painting and managed to finish 2 more new ones and really happy with them - now got 18 completed, day 3 knocked me backwards.......couldn't move without wanting to throw up......don't know if icing my mouth worked or not whilst getting my chemo was still so sore from the last one........hadn't healed before next set hit..........

.......had a much better day yesterday I have a christmas lunch on Friday at local hotel with the ladies that I go to aqauaerobics with - about 40 of us so neighbour took me out for a girlie day started with tea/coffee and toast followerd with clothes shopping for a new outfit for Friday and finished with fish and chips WOW what a difference almost back to normalality...........mouth still sore but improving quick..........was so shattered after a shopping morning slept for the rest of the day then spent the evening wrapping pressies and writing cards...........

.....want to get back to some painting today..........keeps my mind and fingers busy and I am sure the chemicals are helping enhance some of them.......does it affect your artistic tendencies - is there something can be be good out of it???

Take care hope you are all feeling well - cheers to all the siver linings!

Fear knocks at the door, let Faith answer it- there won't be anyone there

Dx 8/11/2012, IDC, 2cm, Grade 3, 20/20 nodes, metsSurgery 08/30/2012 Lumpectomy (Right); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection, Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Right)Chemotherapy 10/08/2012 Cytoxan, Ellence, fluorouracil, Taxotere
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Dec 4, 2012 12:01AM CelineFlower wrote:

wow...

i cant even get out of bed...

I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me! ~Dr. Seuss

Dx 8/31/2012, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIa, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2-Dx 9/17/2012, LCISChemotherapy 09/27/2012 Adriamycin, CytoxanChemotherapy 12/19/2012 TaxolSurgery 04/30/2013 Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection (Right)Surgery 04/30/2013 Lumpectomy (Both)Radiation Therapy 07/09/2013 External
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Dec 4, 2012 12:28AM Toots wrote:

Celine I do hope you improve rapidly from that point...........hugs x

Fear knocks at the door, let Faith answer it- there won't be anyone there

Dx 8/11/2012, IDC, 2cm, Grade 3, 20/20 nodes, metsSurgery 08/30/2012 Lumpectomy (Right); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection, Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Right)Chemotherapy 10/08/2012 Cytoxan, Ellence, fluorouracil, Taxotere
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Dec 4, 2012 12:46AM CelineFlower wrote:

thx toots... im so fed up of this bed...

and dont stop... lol... i live vicariously thru all of you

im just amazed at your energy level and very happy for you.

I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me! ~Dr. Seuss

Dx 8/31/2012, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIa, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2-Dx 9/17/2012, LCISChemotherapy 09/27/2012 Adriamycin, CytoxanChemotherapy 12/19/2012 TaxolSurgery 04/30/2013 Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection (Right)Surgery 04/30/2013 Lumpectomy (Both)Radiation Therapy 07/09/2013 External
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Dec 4, 2012 01:17AM schoolmom wrote:

The good thing is you must be close to the end!  We envy you that.

saved my hair with cold caps with oncotype 21

Dx 9/12/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage Ib, Grade 3, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 09/28/2012 Lumpectomy (Left)Surgery 09/28/2012 Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Chemotherapy 11/05/2012 Cytoxan, TaxotereChemotherapy 11/26/2012 Cytoxan, TaxotereChemotherapy 12/17/2012 Cytoxan, TaxotereRadiation Therapy 01/28/2013 External, 3-D conformal external beam radiationHormonal Therapy 03/21/2013 ArimidexChemotherapy 01/07/2014 Cytoxan, Taxotere
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Dec 4, 2012 02:05AM alcb70 wrote:

Good morning all!  Starting to emerge from #4.  I too admire all of you who are able to be productive, work, and take care of children....I don't know how you do it! I can't even get out of bed days 3/4 b/c of Neulasta & even yesterday (day 5) it took everything to get ready, walk around one store, visit an apartment with my mom and have lunch. By the time we got home, I wasn't sure I was even going to make it up the stairs. :( I'm sorry for such a bad memory, but someone mentioned their thighs hurting.  I have the same thing. I barely get up the stairs and have to stop at the top to let the wave of pain and fatigue pass. Even standing in the shower is uncomfortable. I knew to expect this because my sister-in-law mentioned it. She's a runner and biker, and she couldn't get up the stairs many days.  Just another crummy side effect. Figures, I live in a one story house for 15 yrs, and as soon as I get a two-story.....I get this mess.  I just take my time and rest every few steps if I need to.  I can't wait until I feel better! Until we all feel better! I miss the days of being able to do house projects with my husband or shop with my mom all day.

I'm SO excited that my daughter is graduating from nursing school in 2 days! We're traveling back to NC on Thurs for her pinning.  Not looking forward to being in the car for 6 hrs, or in a hotel room.....but it'll all be worth it to see her acheive this.  They used to let family members who are RN's pin, but not anymore. THAT would have been amazing. :)  I'm just hoping the nausea and fatigue stay away so I don't bring everyone down. I want it to be all about her.....nursing school is HARD! :)

I hope everyone feels well this morning, and se's are minimal!  Also hope everyone is having wonderful weather! It's in the 70's here--at least until tomorrow. ~Andrea

alcb70

Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, 5cm, Stage IIb, Grade 3, 1/5 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+Targeted Therapy 09/26/2012 HerceptinChemotherapy 09/26/2012 carboplatin, TaxotereSurgery 02/08/2013 Mastectomy (Both); Lymph Node Removal (Right); Reconstruction: Tissue expander placement (Both)Chemotherapy 03/07/2013 Adriamycin, CytoxanRadiation Therapy 05/03/2013 ExternalSurgery 09/27/2013 Reconstruction: Breast implants (permanent) (Both)
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Dec 4, 2012 05:04AM Poke wrote:

I get nervous every time I read about a side effect I haven't had. It makes me feel like I'm not getting the full benefit, which I know is absurd. I had the GI issues with the taxotere, but otherwise, I'm over the hump of round three and I have had no nail changes, one tiny mouth sore, and things only taste funny for about two days. I don't ice or chew on ice. I have nausea and lots of fatigue and that's really it. 

Otherwise, my mind is just a mess. I am so scared of my future! I'm turning 30 in less than two weeks. A friend said, "It's nothing, wait until you turn 40" and I starting thinking I would be ecstatic to turn 40. I wondered if I should call my financial planner and let him know I'm not sure if I'll see retirement age. Is anyone seeing a therapist to sort out their feelings? I am thinking it might be time for me. 

I hope everyone is feeling as well as possible. Lots of love. xoxo

Melissa

Age 30. Adopted. BRCA2+. Prophylactic salpingectomy 7/16/2013.

Dx 8/9/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/10 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+Surgery 08/27/2012 Mastectomy (Right); Lymph Node Removal: Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Right); Prophylactic Mastectomy (Left); Reconstruction: Tissue expander placement (Both)Chemotherapy 10/17/2012 carboplatin, TaxotereTargeted Therapy 10/17/2012 HerceptinChemotherapy 11/05/2012 Abraxane, carboplatinHormonal Therapy 02/22/2013 TamoxifenSurgery 04/09/2013 Reconstruction: Breast implants (permanent) (Both)
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Dec 4, 2012 05:14AM Toots wrote:

.............no problems with Neulasta, aches and pains in the joints and bones this time - brilliant the clartyn definitely works - that just killed me the first 2 times the arthritis in the joints bad enough on its own, if you have no pain so much easier to play life as normal - now what is normal - think all our 'norms' have had to change.............

Last of combination done - halfway there - 3 lots of tax to go.............seeing the light at end of tunnel and no longer thinking it is an express train bearing down on me LOL

...........so lucky house in all on one floor............no stairs........know my mum used to only be able to crawl up her stairs sometimes..............

....hope you really enjoy daughters graduation that is great, hope the journey and hotel not too much of an ordeal 

.....hubby travelling back to away to work tonight so glad I have my energy back to cope with the 'norm' while he is away - only til Thursday night so not too bad.........love it when he can work at home but we still need to pay the bills..........so I can't have him here all the time!

........the painting really helps - fingers and mind occupied - and hoping to raise some funding for cancer research with them gives me a focus.............know what I want to achieve not up to organising the big bit which will be the exhibition/auction but getting so much support and help from cancer research, locally and nationally........would have so much enjoyed that part when I was fit and healthy, the yoga is helping trying and fit in 30-60 mins a day, but depends on tiredness and sickness levels as you will all be aware of............

..........will be trying to conserve energy for Friday and my big lunch - know I will be shattered after but worth it.........son, daughter-in-law and 4 of the grandkids here on Saturday for family meal but hubby is cooking not me and he is threatening pizzas and party foods that can all be pre-cooked and served beforehand - everyone help themselves - kids will just love that, last time get together before the holiday as son will be back offshore the following week and not home til the new year.............

Weather awful, rain, sleet, snow and cold, roads closed all over the NE here weather related........nice cosy fire in the log burner and just watch it.....perfect way to deal with it!

Hope everyone feels good for the near future..........not too many SES and lots of silver linings............

Hugs x

Fear knocks at the door, let Faith answer it- there won't be anyone there

Dx 8/11/2012, IDC, 2cm, Grade 3, 20/20 nodes, metsSurgery 08/30/2012 Lumpectomy (Right); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection, Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Right)Chemotherapy 10/08/2012 Cytoxan, Ellence, fluorouracil, Taxotere
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Dec 4, 2012 06:14AM 301724 wrote:

Last chemo is tomorrow! Looking forward to moving on from this part of the journey!

‘The greatest use of a life is to spend it on something that will outlast it.’ William James <br> Cold cap user

Dx 6/22/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage Ia, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-Surgery 08/16/2012 Mastectomy (Right); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection (Right); Prophylactic Mastectomy (Left); Reconstruction: DIEP flap (Both)Chemotherapy 10/04/2012 Cytoxan, TaxotereHormonal Therapy 01/31/2013 Aromasin
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Dec 4, 2012 06:26AM Toots wrote:

Congrats honey! .........good luck and all the best for the next part x

Fear knocks at the door, let Faith answer it- there won't be anyone there

Dx 8/11/2012, IDC, 2cm, Grade 3, 20/20 nodes, metsSurgery 08/30/2012 Lumpectomy (Right); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection, Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Right)Chemotherapy 10/08/2012 Cytoxan, Ellence, fluorouracil, Taxotere
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Dec 4, 2012 07:11AM halfcan wrote:

Toots - You will get through the crappy FEC!  Are you swishing with baking soda/water about 4 to 5 times a day?  I swear it helped me.   Yes, we are soooo done with FEC.  Yea!!!   Tomorrow is #4 and first Taxotere day for me.   You, I and LouBar can compare notes as we go along through it. 

Mellisa - Hang in there!   It seems we all go through the ups and downs and enter into the dark thoughts sometimes.   Depression isn't something I have ever experienced but the last five months have had many low times to work through.   We all worry and get scared about the future.  If you are really having a tough time coping, then talking to someone can be very helpful.  I'm reaching out and sending you virtual {{hug}} sweetie.

301724 - Woot!!!  Happy dance for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Congrats and hope all goes well for you!!!

Knowledge is our power and it will help kick fears' ass!

Dx 7/9/2012, IDC, 4cm, Stage II, Grade 3, 4/13 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 07/31/2012 Mastectomy (Left); Lymph Node Removal: Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Chemotherapy 10/04/2012 Cytoxan, Ellence, fluorouracilChemotherapy 12/05/2012 TaxotereRadiation Therapy 02/13/2013 ExternalHormonal Therapy 04/03/2013 Femara
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Dec 4, 2012 08:01AM Caitgrace wrote:

Congrats 310724! And congrats for you moving on to next bout -- you inspire me to be less whiny!

I survived this mornings horribleness, now resting. Guess I need to eat nothing but apples from now on cuz I NEVER want to be constipated like that again. Egad.

My poor gf is visiting and got to buy enemas for me - I joked its the Xmas gift that keeps on giving...

I'm amazed at all so many of you do -- I just fold at any taxing exertion the first week.

Here's hoping everyone has a bit of the Xmas/Hanukkah or other spirit, little SEs, a person they can talk with/cry to/ laugh with; and regular bowels.

Dx 7/6/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Hormonal Therapy TamoxifenSurgery 08/07/2012 Lumpectomy (Right)Radiation Therapy 09/04/2012 ExternalChemotherapy 10/18/2012 Cytoxan, Taxotere
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Dec 4, 2012 11:03AM Marlene18 wrote:

Ooh, I am *so* envious of you 301724! I hope your final round is uneventful and boring. 

I had my AC round 3 last week and it's kind of kicking my butt this week. I went to work for part of the day yesterday but found just talking to people very exhausting. Today is a good rest day since we had 33-week ultrasound to check up on my little witch baby (hoping she doesn't inherit my pointy nose & chin but the profile shots say otherwise!) When I get my strength back (next week?), I am sitting down and pre-planning Christmas dinner so my boyfriend has his to-do list - the timing of my final AC on December 17th has me anticipating a TIRED Christmas day... 

Melissa, I am with you in feeling completely messed in the head sometimes. I was seeing a clinical counselor for awhile and my boyfriend and I go to another counselor to help us navigate any relationship issues that get aggravated by our extra stress burden right now. I don't think any extra support can hurt at this point!

Caitgrace & CelineFlower, thanks for sharing your misery. I'm sorry you're suffering but I'm glad to have some company trudging through this.

Hang in there. 

Dx 8/21/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIa, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+Radiation Therapy ExternalSurgery 09/14/2012 Lumpectomy (Right); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection (Right)Chemotherapy 10/15/2012 Adriamycin, CytoxanChemotherapy 02/18/2013 TaxolTargeted Therapy 02/18/2013 Herceptin
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Dec 4, 2012 11:20AM LouBar wrote:

Poke - I completely relate to your concerns and even though I have a decade on you there is little comfort in 5 and 10 year statistics when I want much more than that.  Our local paper had an article last week in the business section on retirement planning, a great article, in fact one of the best I have read in terms of good practical advice.  But shortly after reading the article I cried all day wondering if in fact I would make it to retirement.  I know we never know what is around the corner, but this diagnosis has really curbed my optimism on life, especially related to future plans.  My hubby and I have not lived frugally and have been enjoying life, spending probably more that we should but at the same time planning for retirement.  I feel now like it is not something I should be planning for and more so just the day to day.  I have never been for counselling but certainly if someone can help sort these feelings out and subside some of our fears, that will be a good thing.  For me I feel it is the lack of control.  My only saving grace that I've been focusing on lately is researching studies / trials to (a) help future women and (b) indirectly help myself by feeling connected to the current science literature and to be a "guinea pig" for screening, genetic testing etc. etc. that otherwise I would not be receiving.  This way, I'm hopeful that if anything detection will be early and not like now with a Stage 3 diagnosis.  I feel if I keep availing myself to these studies and connect with these different MOs then I'll get other opinions and opportunities to prevent recurrence.  Not sure if this is something that may be helpful to you? I think sometimes we are just wired certain ways, I'm a pragmatic, logical thinker and I don't believe I have the capacity once I get through chemo, radiation, etc. to just be hopeful that everything will be okay.  For me I need to find what will help me feel enough control to get on with my life.  At the moment when I look ahead dreaming of the future - winters in Sarasota :) I feel like I'm being naive.  I have my first meeting with a MO as a candidate for a trial next week, I'm hoping it will provide me with what I need to be more hopeful.  Hoping you find what you need too.  We will all be okay as we are all receiving good treatment and are engaging with our health and health practitioners and I can't imagine for any of us that will ever change.  It is sometimes just hard to believe and as mentioned by halfcan we all have lows.  I am hoping as we all go through this part of our lives that we will start to feel more optimistic and back to our "normal" selves.   Love to all you ladies xo

Dx 8/27/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIIa, Grade 2, 5/7 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 08/30/2012 Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Surgery 09/19/2012 Lymph Node Removal: Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Chemotherapy 10/12/2012 Cytoxan, Ellence, fluorouracil, TaxotereRadiation Therapy 02/27/2013 ExternalHormonal Therapy 04/11/2013 Tamoxifen
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Dec 4, 2012 11:30AM Jennie93 wrote:

LouBar - I have much the same mindset.  How do you find out about clinical trials?  

49 at diagnosis. Found on routine mammogram.

Dx 8/20/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIb, Grade 2, 4/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 09/06/2012 Mastectomy (Left); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Chemotherapy 10/16/2012 Cytoxan, TaxotereRadiation Therapy 03/25/2013 ExternalHormonal Therapy 05/24/2013 Tamoxifen
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Dec 4, 2012 11:41AM LouBar wrote:

Jennie93 - not sure where you are located, but hope the following helps: 

This is the US National Cancer Institute for trials in Canada and the US: http://www.cancer.gov/ClinicalTrials/

This is for Canadian Cancer Trials: http://www.canadiancancertrials.ca/

There are other links depending if you are in the US or Canada that will alert you if the applicable trial comes up.  

Dx 8/27/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIIa, Grade 2, 5/7 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 08/30/2012 Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Surgery 09/19/2012 Lymph Node Removal: Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Left)Chemotherapy 10/12/2012 Cytoxan, Ellence, fluorouracil, TaxotereRadiation Therapy 02/27/2013 ExternalHormonal Therapy 04/11/2013 Tamoxifen
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Dec 4, 2012 08:12PM Toots wrote:

.............trials here in the UK they give you information on clinical trials and research at the hospital when you first get your diagnoses and ask there and then if you want to take part, probably the last things you need to think about at that time, need to get your head around things first but at least you have the info if you want to go back later........ there are also things run through nearly all the cancer research.......CLAN, McMillan and Cancer Research itself........they also give you info on these too.............

........retirement.....I have been real lucky......although I didn't think so at the time, my daughter-in-law was real sick with four young kids and the ideal solution at the time was that I took early retirement (at 50) to help her bring up the family rather than my son give up his job to do it...........so I was already 'a lady of leisure' if it can be classed as that with 4 children relying on you between the ages of 8 years and 6 months! Baby now 5 and at school and daughter-in-law back to herself and so glad that happened before this all started.............

........mouth feeling better this morning but I raided my baking cupboard for the baking soda and USING IT thank you so much - really appreciated......

Take care all, lots of hugs xxx

Fear knocks at the door, let Faith answer it- there won't be anyone there

Dx 8/11/2012, IDC, 2cm, Grade 3, 20/20 nodes, metsSurgery 08/30/2012 Lumpectomy (Right); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection, Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Right)Chemotherapy 10/08/2012 Cytoxan, Ellence, fluorouracil, Taxotere

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