Topic: Is Palliative Care right for my mom?

I respectfully need some advise and don't know where to find it. This is in reference to my mother. She is 74 years old and has numerous health problems causing her significant pain. Starting about 10 years ago she developed back problems and had back surgery. She was given pain pills for back and joint pain, oxycontin (I think) which has caused constipation problems which have resulted in her bowels coming out of her rectum when she has a bowel movement (sorry to be graphic but I don't know how else to describe it).

She currently has severe back pain and severe pain in her right shoulder. The docs tell her that xrays show that there is bone rubbing on bone and she needs shoulder surgery. So the docs were trying to decide if they should do shoulder before back or back first. She says that she can feel her left shoulder starting to become painful. Her leg joints also hurt and she walks with a cane. Her quality of life is low. The docs want to operate everywhere but she clearly sees that her skeleton is failing.

She has not been diagnosed with cancer. She did have breast augmentation about 35 years ago with the bad Dow Corning silicone implants which have never been replaced. She doesn't want to do surgeries and she is suffering greatly from pain. She just wants pain relief. She is being ping ponged around to different doctors: a GP, back surgeon, pain doctor, shoulder surgeon. I have googled Palliative Care and it seems that is is designed for someone like her but all of her doctors have said that it is the same as Hospice and say that she is not a candidate. From what I read, it looks like she should be a candidate but I don't know what it takes to qualify or what she needs to do. She has insurance. She also has a stash of pills (Sodium Seconal maybe) that I think she may overdose on if she doesn't find some relief. And if she does, I would understand because she hurts so bad and nothing seems to help. I have told her that there is such a thing as a pain pump but I don't know if it is right for her. She lives near Columbus, Ohio.

Is there anyone who could give me some suggestions? Even another website? I feel so helpless and I don't know who to ask.