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Jul 26, 2012 11:40 PM, edited Jul 26, 2012 11:44 PM
Hi Robin, Sorry you also have a reason to be here, but glad you joined us, as this is a very caring group of gals. We do learn from each other, and also can vent here, which helps a lot!
Well girls, I got home today. Of course I never sleep, even on the 9 hr flt with seats that almost went flat...I think everyone else slept! So I am feeling zombie like right now, even though I did sleep a bit this afternoon. Had a BAD experience with my mom at the big party for my dad on Saturday night. We had an easy day, as the fishing club guys set up the tents, tables, chairs, cooked the crab legs, and ribeyes, etc. My dad just had to pay for the food and keg of beer and the wine. BUT at the beginning, around 6pm, my mom suddenly changed. It might have been when she started her 2nd drink. People were coming up to me that I didn't know, asking my name. Seems like my mom told them I was my sister (who has been mean to them and never helped them with anything). I thought she must just be tired, so I went up to her while she was with some people and just asked her who I was . She said "You're (blank)". I said, "I'm Kathy". And she looked at me like her eyes were blank but said in a mean way "Why are you saying you're Kathy,when your'e (blank)". And she shook her head at me saying "noooooo". Brought my dad over, but she didn't believe him and said I told him what to say. Well, from then on girls, I was a mess of tears. I kept my distance from her, but would see her looking at me and talking to my dad. He said she would ask him who he was talking to (when it was me). After a couple of hrs she finally realized she didn't recognize me and told him "I must be losing my mind; I don't recognize our own daughter". Well, after that (when the party was almost over), she knew who I was, and I felt so much better. BUT everytime someone arrived I knew, I had to tell them, and I was crying, and got big hugs. My cousin (we had not met before) came to the party as he was in HI from CA as he had a book signing for a history book he wrote on the ukulele (our great-great-granpa invented it), so when he arrived, I had big tears as I greeted him. I thought she would never know me again, so I was totally devastated. We have always been so close, and we talked about this very thing last year, and I told her that it would be the worst thing in the world if someday she didn't know who I was. I took her to her dr for blood work Monday, then went back the day I left (yesterday) and told him what happened to her (in front of her), and he said to not have drinks anymore (she has always had 2/nite, like my 95 yo dad). Said maybe they are messing with her meds, or just messing with her mind. SO she was ok with that...I hope she remembers not to drink, though, as they always have happy hour. Her results were fine, and EKG was fine, but her dr said we should have gone to ER or a clinic when that happened, as her b/p may have been very high or very low. DID NOT even think of that, as I was so upset thinking it was a normal, unfortunate occurance, and it would be that way from now on. Anyway, the move has been hard on them, esp my mom. We would spend hours going thru her clothes, deciding what to keep for her last wk in HI, what she needs for the cruise in a month, and what to put in her dresser for the movers to take, that she might not need for 2 mon. THEN the next morn, she would take it all out, and it would be all over her bed and in suitcases, so we had to do the whole process again. She also would go thru the piles of stuff we were giving away, and start putting those in the "keep" piles, etc. I worked almost every day for those 3 wks! Only got to swim ( a blk away) 2 times. The last time, the honu (hawaiian sea turtles) were swimming with me, by the shore. That was awesome, but I had to watch them so I could move away as you are not supposed to get close to them (endangered protected species). ANYWAY, thanks for letting me vent, I knew the time would come when I would be facing all of this. ALSO, they arrive here on Tues, so I have lots to do to get their house ready, etc. OH, and my dad kept thanking me, which is rare for him to do, as he knew they could not have done this without my help. I know that too, as it was a daunting task, and kept me busy almost every minute. Don't know where the 4600 lbs of stuff the movers packed will go, as they have an almost furnished home here (with their things). OH YEAH, we also had a scare earlier as the first movers got the dates wrong, and it would have happened after I left HI, which would not work at all. Then the next movers did not confirm the nite before like they said they would, so I was worried THEY would not show up on Tues! I would not have been able to leave if that happened, as my parents would have ended up shipping the wrong things.
Susan, When are the 8 wks up for your moms healing, so you can see if all is well? Glad your dad has some good days now, but I know the bad days are heartbreaking. At least 1 sister is a big help, too bad the other one does not want to give your mom good meals. You are doing so much, it is not a surprise about the lemons! Well, when live hands you lemons...lol....just kidding. Glad you find humor in things, as it is so difficult having to help our parents, and dealing with what they are going through.
Oh Marybe, you gave me a chuckle! Glad it didn't embarass your dad! Several yrs ago when I was activity director at a nursing home, we took the assisted living pts downstairs to an event. One gal noticed one of the men had his underwear hanging out of the bottom of his pants, and she just laughed and wouldn't go and take care of it. So we did it as unobviously as we could. Poor guy, he couldn't help it. I am glad your dad had a good weekend with you!
BIG HUGS to you all,
Kathy (NOT the mean sister!!! LOL)
(aka "Raquelle Leather Rock") "Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or hump it, piss on it and walk away."