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Mar 10, 2009 09:20pm, edited Mar 10, 2009 09:34pm
Lexislove, Thanks for voicing what others of us are maybe too timid to say. We metsters are definitely supportive and encouraging to each other, and usually everyone else.
Ninel, I don't feel that my job while visiting the METS board is to reassure every sister who has ever been afraid of mets. I'd have posted your question somewhere else, like "Moving on". To answer your first question, most of us have been in the early shoes of finishing treatment and hoping for the best. We weren't all stage IV from the start, in fact, quite the opposite. Most of us were once just like you.
But I mean really... this request was what really did it for me: "How big was everyone's tumor? Stage? Grade? What kind of surgery/treatment did everyone have?"
This question screams "Hey everyone, I'll feel better if I rule myself out by comparing my story to all you metsters." I found the intent of this question very insensitive. It was glaringly obvious that you are trying to reassure yourself that you won't be one of "us". I don't find that to be supportive or appropriate.
And this from SherryW: "Wow, you hit it with all they had, and it still came back, boy BC can be tricky." Do you have any idea how this comes off to us? I just want to say "Uh, yeah, that's how mets happen." Again, it's the You/Us thing. Yes, we did hit it hard, we took it all and we still do... again, and again, and again. It comes back... That's why so many women die of breast cancer!! Again, I feel like a spectacle.
Me and my sisters here are real women, with emotions, scary diagnoses and difficult situations. These posts make me feel like a freak. I hope you can understand why, and that you're not missing a "sensitivity button."
And let me just say, I'm a really nice person who has never posted something as terse as this before. And I am still being nice.....
I've refined and rewritten this half a dozen times. Enough. I'm hitting "submit".
"Never, never, never give up" - Sir Winston Churchill - - Age 43, orig dx 5/2005 Stage III; Dx 11/22/2007, ILC, Stage IV, ER+/PR+, HER2-