Topic: one year to live with brain & liver mets!?? says onc

Wow, what a kick in the ---.  Remember, you don't have an expiration date!  I was also told to make sure I had my affairs in order when it was found that I had multiple lesions in the liver and all throughout the chest/collarbone area, that the average survival rate was two years in my case...well, 8 months later, I am in complete remission.  So never give up!  You BE that exception!

Hugs and blessings!

Lori

Everyone is different, averages mean nothing.

It is hard not to ask how much time we have, It would be nice is our doctors gave more positive spins on results.

I sure this average is if you do NO treatment.

Hang in.

Dear Dee,

Statistics should just be thrown out the window!  Average means that half of the women do succumb during that time, but it also means that half survive longer, some in this half much much longer.  Statistical distributions end up very skewed and they possess a very long tail.  The following site has a very interesting essay by Stephen Gould, regarding statistics and cancer survival.

http://www.cancerguide.org/median_not_msg.html

He was diagnosed with a form of cancer that had '8 month average survival', but lived ~ 20 years longer.

Will keep you in my prayers.

Becky

Awww yeah don't listen to him. They call them averages and statistics for a reason. Not everyone is the same. I asked and my onc wouldn't even say because he says it keeps changing because the meds keep changing and new ones keep coming out. I was stage 3 at diagnosis 4 years ago and been stage IV for 2 with mets to liver and bones and nodes...and still doing quite well.

Hang in there

My mother had thyroid cancer back in the early 60's, when she was 48.  The only treatments available to her were surgical removal and radioactive iodine, which was considered very experiemental and quite risky.  I had just turned just 8 yrs old at that time.  Her doctor told her to go home after her surgery and the iodine treatment and put her affairs in order because she wouldn't live to see me get to 9 yrs old because the "statistics" at the time predicted that she would live less than a year.

 My mother lived to be 92 years old and never had a single recurrence of the cancer.  Granted, thryoid cancer is very different from breast cancer, but no one really knows for certain how each individual will progress or react to treatments.  And there are new drugs and treatments in the pipeline every year.  Throw the statistics out the window, hun, and keep fighting - you might be the next one that blows the "stats" out of the water too.

Oh sweetie, what an awful thing to hear! Always remember that these averages are made up of a wide range and are not always true to life. My best, best wishes and prayers are with you. Just take one day at a time, be good to yourself and treat yourself as you would a good friend...gently and well.

Gentle hugs and prayers, Elaine

You people are totally glorious!!  Thank you SO much for all the replies and encouragement. ..Much calmer today Have had some good chats with a couple of friends, at first didn't want to tell anyone close as it felt to big. Didn't want to taint the time left with them. Anyway you ladies are all right and have chosen to ignore that statistic !!! Also feel that you are all really generous coming to my rescue even tho I don't get to post much as can only get hold of puter when teen girlie goes to bed/ out! Also my right hand is dodgy after a stroke and typing seems to take ages! 

Bless you all!! Big hugz and huge thanks Dee (0:xx  

Oh Dee! Hugs.... One of the many problems with being stage 1V and asking "that" question is that inevitably the answer will come back, "between 1-3 years". It's all they can say really, as they have no idea how any of us will respond to treatment. What works for one won't work for another etc. I hope you can put it out of you mind (difficult, I imagine, as once the question is asked, it's hard to ignore the answer). I'm steadfastly refusing to ask that question, until such times as I've run out of treatment options, when it will then become a realistic question for me to ask. I'm sure your onc wasn't being deliberatley cruel-it must be hard for them too, when a patient asks the question, and they have to give a guesstimate.Hopefully you'll be one case that he got wrong!

I am sorry you had to hear this insensitive remark.  I understand they want to be realistic but drugs are so new these days they have no way of knowing the real outcome, do they?

((((hugs))))

All your comments are so hopeful. On Wednesday, I got similar words from my oncologist: The chemo (Taxotere) was not working, peritoneal and rectal cancer growing and my belly filling up again with fluid (ascites). His first choice was I get a port for the ascites (which he said would not allow for further chemo - it was one or the other) and go into Hospice and count myself lucky that I had gotten an extra year. The other choice was Gemzar chemo, which he said had an only 10 percent chance of helping me. He was very negative about that. Geez! Rock and hard place!

A wonderful oncology counselor, once the doc was out of the room, talked with my daughter and I and asked us lots of questions. She spent a couple hours with us. When I told her how confused I was about what to do, but how I had all these plans (I'm a writer and artist, working on several projects, she said she felt I wasn't ready to throw in the toweland she really encouraged me to try again, as did my daughter, who, of course, was crying the whole time.

 My question is: has anyone here any experience with gemzar?

 I can totally relate to  Dee2810 and her feelings of panic, but I am so heartened by all your replies and experiences. You are all wonderful and in my prayers.

Joanne B.

Hi Dee,

I am sure that you are overwhelmed and frightened right now.  It takes your breath away to hear such awful news.  I have decided that I don't want any one to tell me how long I have to live. I think each of us will know when our fight is nearing the end and for you the end is NOT around the corner.  I have to believe that determination and interest in living will keep you going.  Right now you need support, encouragement and words of comfort so that you can fight this battle.   I am hoping that with time to heal from this unexpected shock, you will once again feel on solid ground.  Lots of women are thinking of you right now and sending healing wishes your way.

Only God know how long we can be alive.

Oncologists very well know statistic but they should better study medical ethics

Irina- nice to see you back from your trip, hope you had a lovely time and that you are feeling well.

The only thing I cannot do for 15 minutes is hold my pee.

There was a commercial on television of a woman who was dx with pancreatic cancer and her doctor just told her there was nothing he could do for her. Then she went to Cancer Treatment Center of America and the doctors there told her she did not have an EXPIRATION date stamped on the bottom of her feet. Anyway according to the commercial she became NED and is doing fine so far.

I think no doctor or person should ever take HOPE away from you. Could you imagine how Lance Armstrong felt with his diagnosis..........he had HOPE........and his doctors had HOPE..........and his family and friends had HOPE........and I just heard he is doing really great in the TOUR d'FRANCE bike race (sorry if I fumbled on spelling the name of the race).

My friend was also given a couple of months by my own oncologist.......and she was not ready to just go home and not fight! She continued her fight and lived another 2 years. 

NEVER......NEVER......GIVE UP HOPE!

Love Always,

Terry