and having a good attitude with cancer.
FINALLY..
http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-october-14-2009/barbara-ehrenreich
I know my next book I am ordering.
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Analemma Joined: May 2005 Posts: 1,712 |
Oct 20, 2009 11:41 am
Analemma wrote:
Yeah, someone posted this link on Facebook just hours after the laugh your cancer to health thread the other day. What serendipity! And then, someone posted the Molly Ivens column. AAaahhh. It's all about balance, Janis. We have to balance the nutcases against the ones who have a clue and don't mind saying so out loud. Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see. --John W. Whitehead
Diagnosis: 12/10/2007, IDC, 2cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 5/12 nodes, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2- |
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Nanalinda Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 341 |
Oct 20, 2009 12:17 pm
Nanalinda wrote:
It looks like a good book to get. I hate it when people tell me I have to stay positive. Tried it.... didn't work. Diagnosis: 7/26/2006, IDC, 3cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2- |
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Watson Joined: May 2005 Posts: 1,733 |
Oct 20, 2009 12:27 pm
Watson wrote:
I 'positively' hate cancer. Does that count? I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. - Billy Joel
Diagnosis: 1/29/2008, Stage IV, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2+ |
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joaniji Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 276 |
Oct 20, 2009 12:28 pm
joaniji wrote:
OMG - I love this clip. I couldn't agree more! Thanks for posting this Janis. By the way, Analemma, I love your response. joani
Diagnosis: 1/1/2009, 2cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, mets, ER+/PR-, HER2- |
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KellyC Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 785 |
Oct 20, 2009 12:30 pm
KellyC wrote:
I am so freakin' positive and cheerful I think people think I am on heavy amounts of medication that make me loopy. lol All that cheeriness didn't do a dam thing. Pfthhhhh. Hi (((Wats))))) xoxo If life hands you a lemon, stuff your bra with it!
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prettyinpin… Joined: Apr 2008 Posts: 5,159 |
Oct 20, 2009 12:30 pm
prettyinpink100 wrote:
I saw the show. I was cheering her on. She is my new idol. PIP - multi focal, FEC100/Tax, rads, dble mast with no recon, ooph/hyst, arimidex
Diagnosis: 2/1/2007, IDC, Stage IIIb, Grade 2, 9/16 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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AnnNYC Joined: Aug 2007 Posts: 3,069 |
Oct 20, 2009 12:44 pm
AnnNYC wrote:
I love Barbara Ehrenreich -- I've been thinking of sending her fan mail for ages! Thanks for posting the clip Janis -- I had missed the show. Here's an oldie but goodie from her: Diagnosis: 3/9/2007, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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Shanagirl Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 271 |
Oct 20, 2009 12:54 pm
Shanagirl wrote:
Hey Fitztwins, thank you for the post. I think it's Fu@#$%G BS when people tell you to "be positive" so only good things can happen to you. I know that when people tell me to "keep being positive" they really only care about their own feeling about being uncomfortable around cancer. Shanagirl
Diagnosis: 1/13/2009, IDC, 5cm, Stage IIIa, Grade 1, 2/18 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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chainsawz Joined: Sep 2008 Posts: 258 |
Oct 20, 2009 12:57 pm
chainsawz wrote:
Thanks for the clip - awesome! Lisa -mets to lungs & brain.....the weakest step toward the top of the hill, toward sunrise, toward hope, is stronger than the fiercest storm.
Diagnosis: 7/21/2008, IDC, 3cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2+ |
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nosurrender… Joined: Dec 2004 Posts: 4,991 |
Oct 20, 2009 01:06 pm
nosurrender wrote:
That is a great clip, Janis. I just attended a three day oncology conference. Not one doctor who presented said a "good attitude" increased survival outcomes. I think when a doctor tells us that "A positive attitude helps" it is to make themselves feel better- not us. It sure is easier than quoting scary stats. There IS hope out there. There were reports of metastatic disease patients having excellent responses to the new tx's that are out there now. They even used the words "complete response." It was a small percentage, but it was there! The only "Secret" I believe in is fighting as hard as we can and doing the best we can every morning we are lucky enough to be here on earth. Sending hugs to all my friends I haven't seen in a while. ( I can personaly attest to Kelly's incredibly bubbly personality!) At the end of the day it is always best to follow Clemenza's advice, Leave the gun, take the cannolis. g nosurrenderbreastcancerhelp.org
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marie317 Joined: Aug 2009 Posts: 98 |
Oct 20, 2009 01:22 pm
marie317 wrote:
Thanks for posting this Fitztwins. I'm thinking of buying the book since there is a long waiting list for it at the library. I worked for a company who had employed a "motivational" leader and she drove me nuts, to put it mildly. I've always hated the "just think positive" bs. From now on, I think this will be my response to anyone who tells me to think positive... http://despair.com/pes24x30prin.html
THE DEFINITION OF INSANITY IS DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AND EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS - BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
Diagnosis: 6/2/2009, IDC, 1cm, Grade 1, 0/3 nodes |
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SoCalLisa Joined: Jan 2006 Posts: 3,146 |
Oct 20, 2009 01:40 pm
SoCalLisa wrote:
Well said Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance
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BonnieK Joined: Nov 2008 Posts: 299 |
Oct 20, 2009 01:51 pm
BonnieK wrote:
This is a great thread and my attitude is that cancer sucks and I positively hate it! How's that for being positive? I went to a counselor a couple of times early in the summer who told me that I should replace the word "struggling" in my vocabulary with "practicing". How's that for a stupid response when someone says they are struggling with moving forward after treatment -- what a schmuck. I told her she could practice on someone else, quit going to counseling and decided just to be myself and see what happens. That is working for me and I'm happy to be finished with treatment and NED. One day at a time! -bonnie Diagnosis: 9/2008, IDC, 5cm, Stage IIIa, Grade 2, 1/11 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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portiasprou… Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 2,042 |
Oct 20, 2009 02:05 pm
portiasproudmom wrote:
She is AWESOME!! Thanks for sharing the clip, Janis. People were contantly praising me for my wonderful attitude during my cancer treatments. I would smile and say thank you, but I was thinking, "f--- off, I feel like shit!" Diagnosis: 8/27/2007, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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konakat Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 1,604 |
Oct 20, 2009 02:47 pm
konakat wrote:
Just as bad are those people who have positive attitude about my cancer. Positive I'll be "cured"! Positive the scan with be clear! Give me a f-ing break!!! How do they know??? I'm as blunt as can be to burst their bubble. Once I was thrilled to tell a co-worker that I had a sh*tty scan so I could shut her up! Pretty pathetic, eh? Elizabeth's Mantra: When in doubt, eat cake. When you haven't a clue, add ice cream.
Diagnosis: 5/2007, ILC, 3cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 13/19 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2+ |
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AlaskaAngel… Joined: Jun 2005 Posts: 142 |
Oct 20, 2009 03:09 pm, edited Oct 20, 2009 03:12 PM
by AlaskaAngel
AlaskaAngel wrote:
My SO made sure I saw it too. Perfectly Pink timing, too! I've been so puzzled and angry as the patient and coworker of a PCP who is highly sensitive and caring with patients of all kinds in the most difficult circumstances, and yet has directed the same "positive" crap toward cancer patients. But I think that over the years the pain of losing so many has distorted his response, and it is from having cared too much too many times over too long. He never discusses the feelings of the patients like Ehrenreich -- he only talks about the patients who are "sailing right through treatment" with a "bright" affect. Over time, I've managed to get past my reserve and bring up for discussion matters like no libido, painful intercourse, etc. but in 7 years those issues have never made it on the list when he summarized his clinic note for me. Ditto for the male onc I also raised these matters with. This year he has a female NP as my care provider and my clinic note has written on it very clearly "dyspareunia" and "low libido". HOORAY for OUR SIDE!!!! Diagnosis: 12/3/2001, IDC 1.6 cm, some DCIS, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+++, NED, CAFx6, rads, 1 3/4 yr tamoxifen, no trastuzumab, no lapatinib, no AI, |
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mthomp2020 Joined: Jul 2007 Posts: 878 |
Oct 20, 2009 03:53 pm
mthomp2020 wrote:
I've had people say that my positive attitude is probably why I'm getting good response to treatment. Yeah, I'm sure that's it. I wouldn't even say that I necessarily have a positive attitude. I'm just thankful I respond to treatment, and that the SE's aren't horrible, and that I have a pretty good QOL for the time being. Who knows, my attitude may get pretty damn rotten if that all changes! It's just not in my nature to be morose and gloomy because of my situation - no reason to make myself miserable. I think the only thing a positive attitude really influences is your quality of life, and it would be pretty hard to keep a positive attitude if you're in constant pain, or sick from treatments. Diagnosis: 5/21/2007, IDC, Stage IV, Grade 3, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2+ |
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clemson93 Joined: Sep 2009 Posts: 56 |
Oct 20, 2009 03:55 pm
clemson93 wrote:
Love this! Love her and Jon Stewart. Susan Diagnosis: 9/17/08, IDC, 6cm+, grade 3, stage 3, nodes, dx with bone mets 9/09, stage 4, ER+/PR+, HER2-"Get busy living, or get busy dying."
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Analemma Joined: May 2005 Posts: 1,712 |
Oct 20, 2009 07:45 pm
Analemma wrote:
Athena-Lion, thanks for your thoughts. I do feel thankful to be dying in peacetime, nor wartime, but like you, I was just thinking yesterday on hearing about the war dead, standing before a firing squad would only be bad for a few seconds, this is loooooong! Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see. --John W. Whitehead
Diagnosis: 12/10/2007, IDC, 2cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 5/12 nodes, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2- |
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RobinWendy Joined: Mar 2007 Posts: 1,281 |
Oct 20, 2009 08:41 pm
RobinWendy wrote:
Don't get me started on Jon Stewart.... LOVE HIM!!!!!! I've said it before and I'll say it again: When people tell me how truly inspired they are by my "positive attitude" (like they've ever seen me while I wait for the results of my CT scans), I merely say the following: I"M NOT DOING WELL BECAUSE I'M POSITIVE.... I'M POSITIVE 'CUZ I'M DOING WELL!!!!! I have been at the depths of despair when a good treatment stops working only to get good results with the next. Is despair positive? NO, IT'S NORMAL FOR WHAT WE ARE DEALING WITH and it certainly didn't "help" the treatment to be more effective!! I hate people who tell me to be or that I'm so... positive. Robin dx Stage II primary BC in Jan. 2001;dx with DCIS on other breast in Jan. 2003; dx with mets to lungs in Jan. 2004 (What's up with me and January, anyway?)
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RobinWendy Joined: Mar 2007 Posts: 1,281 |
Oct 20, 2009 08:41 pm, edited Oct 20, 2009 08:42 PM
by RobinWendy
RobinWendy wrote:
Don't get me started on Jon Stewart.... LOVE HIM!!!!!! I've said it before and I'll say it again: When people tell me how truly inspired they are by my "positive attitude" (like they've ever seen me while I wait for the results of my CT scans), I merely say the following: I"M NOT DOING WELL BECAUSE I'M POSITIVE.... I'M POSITIVE 'CUZ I'M DOING WELL!!!!! I have been at the depths of despair when a good treatment stops working only to get good results with the next. Is despair positive? NO, IT'S NORMAL FOR WHAT WE ARE DEALING WITH and it certainly didn't cause the treatment to be ineffective!! I hate people who tell me to be or that I'm so... positive. Robin dx Stage II primary BC in Jan. 2001;dx with DCIS on other breast in Jan. 2003; dx with mets to lungs in Jan. 2004 (What's up with me and January, anyway?)
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mason204 Joined: Jan 2006 Posts: 483 |
Oct 20, 2009 10:52 pm
mason204 wrote:
Can't access the website from Canada. Darn! I often have this problem with TV show clips on U.S. sites. Must be a copywrite thing. Is there another link I could access? I'd love to see it. Cheryl. Cheryl - Mets dx Aug/06 (lungs, liver, bones, abdomen)
Diagnosis: 12/23/2003, IDC, 5cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, 4/10 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ |
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London-Virg… Joined: May 2009 Posts: 827 |
Oct 21, 2009 06:07 am
London-Virginia wrote:
What a good thread this is. I hate to say it, but "owning" a lack of positivity has cheered me up no end! My experience at my hospital in London is that nothing of any type of positive nature is ever said. This is taking things to extremes. I am told this is in order that we don't "get false hopes". I can't speak for you girls, but personally I didn't exactly find myself suffering an outburst of irrational exuberance and joy upon DX. Surely some sort of state of neutrality is better than the "end is nigh" approach. They are dismal Jimmies. oh well, off for a positive chocolate ice cream. xxxxxxx Virginia.
Diagnosis: 5/9/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIb, Grade 3, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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RobinWendy Joined: Mar 2007 Posts: 1,281 |
Oct 21, 2009 07:03 am
RobinWendy wrote:
Marie 317 Just clicked on your link... pretty funny. dx Stage II primary BC in Jan. 2001;dx with DCIS on other breast in Jan. 2003; dx with mets to lungs in Jan. 2004 (What's up with me and January, anyway?)
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kmccraw423 Joined: Dec 2008 Posts: 1,503 |
Oct 21, 2009 07:46 am
kmccraw423 wrote:
Robin - I just read your tag line - with me it was the day of the month - on December 19, 2008 had a double mastectomy with tissue expanders; on January 19, 2009 had TEs removed. Held my breath on February 19. Alls well but I am not looking forward to this December and next January! Kathleen
Diagnosis: 10/3/2008, DCIS, 4cm, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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konakat Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 1,604 |
Oct 21, 2009 11:08 am
konakat wrote:
I always love to see your posts London-Virginia! Elizabeth's Mantra: When in doubt, eat cake. When you haven't a clue, add ice cream.
Diagnosis: 5/2007, ILC, 3cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 13/19 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2+ |
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RobinWendy Joined: Mar 2007 Posts: 1,281 |
Oct 21, 2009 11:45 am, edited Oct 21, 2009 11:48 AM
by RobinWendy
RobinWendy wrote:
I hear you Kathleen!! Let's hear it for getting through those "bad" months with no new drama. Oops, I think that smacked of positivity. Don't worry all, I still have bad attitude!!! CANCERSUCKSCANCERSUCKSCANCERSUCKSCANCERSUCKSCANCERSUCKS and IAMANGRYIAMANGRYIAMANGRY!!!!! dx Stage II primary BC in Jan. 2001;dx with DCIS on other breast in Jan. 2003; dx with mets to lungs in Jan. 2004 (What's up with me and January, anyway?) |
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azdiva Joined: Sep 2009 Posts: 119 |
Oct 21, 2009 01:53 pm
azdiva wrote:
I am officially joining the I AM NOT POSITIVE CLUB. A dear friend (no quotes because I really think she believes this and I do believe she cares for me) actually told me that I may have gotten bc because I have had so much stress and negativity in my life the last year. And that my positive attitude now will see me through this. Well screw that! I'm going back to being bitchy. I posted your Jon Stewart link on my fb page yesterday, Fitztwins. No one has commented. I think they are afraid. OOH .. . I'm so brave to go through this. Like I/we have a choice? What else am I going to do? Hide in bed? Maybe. At least I know I won't be giving myself cancer with my depression/anger/negativity. Hey wait! I already have cancer! I can be as negative as I want. Damage already done. I'm also going back to drinking (not that I quit, I just haven't been public - HAHA that makes me a closet drinker!). My dear onc said I should limit to one, but he didn't say how big!! You guys make me laugh, cry, and really feel like I'm not alone in this. Of that I am POSITIVE, and it really makes my day. Laura Diagnosis: 8/17/2009, IDC, 2.2 cm, Stage IIa, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Shirlann Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 7,043 |
Oct 21, 2009 02:06 pm
Shirlann wrote:
Anyone who says that a good attitude will cure cancer is nuts. How could you have a good attitude when scared to death? I think this is kinda mean, to be so scared and sad, and to have some jackass tell you to, "think positive", about what? Oh well, I am sure we all try, but it is almost impossible and I think smacks a little bit of, "Its your fault", and idea I really get mad at. Love all you sisters, the positive ones and the scared ones. Gentle hugs, Shirlann |
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Annie4 Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 25 |
Oct 21, 2009 02:24 pm
Annie4 wrote:
Wow, there is lots of negativity out there. I've been stage 4 for 5 years. Just went back on chemo on Sept 1st - Xeloda and Avastin. Having major gastro issues - BRAT diet for almost 2 weeks now. Cancer does SUCK but I have found that trying to stay positive is good for the family which is good for me as well. I've got 2 girls ages 10 and 12 and a loving husband and trying to have a positive attitude helps them a lot dealing with this all. I really TRY to make myself laugh with them or joke with them even when I'm feeling really lousy. Also, I firmly believe in trying to laugh with friends too and especially love sick humor. I realize that when I'm with friends and laughing, I don't feel as bad or don't notice all the SE's. So, I don't think it has to be as black and white. I obviously have bad days where I question everything - living with all these SE's - but I need to be here for my girls. And I'm trying to concentrate on making their lives easier. So, the positive attitude may or may not help with boosting immunity but it helps keeping some normality here in our household. Just wanted to write this down and wishing you all peace. |
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