In one of these all-too-many contentious threads someone mentioned that since I've been here a long time (well, five years) that i must remember the old days when we were all nicer to each other. But I guess I remember the old days differently. Any of you remember:
-- the woman with the tiny blue bikini who claimed to be a famous journalist and was so happy she had breast cancer and been cured?
-- The Italian guy who claimed to cure breast cancer through handwriting analysis (I kid you not) and became so insulting that he wished me dead?
-- The woman from, I think, South Africa, who claimed to be happy happy happy to have cancer and when questioned got really nasty? She turned on our beloved TheresaPW (was that her name?) shortly before she died.
Anyone else have favorites?
I add this because I think as awful as some of these discussions are now, they are no worse and maybe even better than they used to be.
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bygracealon… Joined: Jun 2009 Posts: 64 |
Oct 20, 2009 09:27 pm
bygracealone wrote:
Some things never change, the human condition being the most obvious. When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. . . . . Persian proverb
Diagnosis: 1/24/2009, Stage IV, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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heatherpalm… Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,779 |
Oct 20, 2009 09:27 pm
heatherpalmerton wrote:
The Italian stalian should of had his "Wankus and prostate cut out. "what an idiot!!!!! Some people will try anything to make a buck at someone elses expense. I believe in doing your research and trying to see if something does help. But these people went over board. SICK" HEATHER PALMERTON
Diagnosis: 1/18/2008, Stage IV, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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pitanga Joined: Sep 2004 Posts: 563 |
Oct 21, 2009 09:42 am
pitanga wrote:
MOTC, thanks for bringing this up. I started as a BCO member in 2003 and re-registered the following year when they reorganized the boards and my password stopped working. The first knock-down-drag-out fights I saw were about religion, between believers and unbelievers. That resulted in the creation of the spiritual matters forum in 2004 (?). Another fight, really nasty, was on a thread started by a woman who was advocating organic coffee enemas as a cure for cancer. She was a nut case but that was no excuse for the poisonous posts that followed telling her where to stick it. It was truly ugly and went on for days, with no intervention by moderators (some things never change!). I posted asking that we try to maintain some level of politeness, and that maybe if one disagreed so vehemently that politeness was impossible there was the alternative of not posting at all... Then I became the one dodging the bullets. I think that was when the Alternative therapies forum was created. But the infighting continued and it disillusioned me about the nature of "support" forums. Instead of feeling community when I came here it was like walking into a mine field. I stopped coming. Now, five years later when I got a recurrence and mets dx I started posting again in February of this year, thinking it must have gotten better. I do feel thankful for the support I got from a number of metsters when I was searching for info to help me through the first stages of treatment decisions, but I´ve also seen quite a few fights in the past few months. As far as I can see, things have not changed. Lisa First dx 1999, age 39, Stage IIA. 2009--Local recurrence and mets.
Diagnosis: 2/5/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, mets, ER+/PR-, HER2- |
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ADK Joined: Jun 2006 Posts: 2,012 |
Oct 21, 2009 09:55 am, edited Oct 21, 2009 10:10 AM
by ADK
ADK wrote:
I have been a member since June of 2006 and I have seen some real nastiness on these boards over those three years, but it was usually about the things folks fight about - politics or personality clashes, not over stages. I suspect that the increase in battles over the last few months can be partially attributed to the horrid year we have had. After I joined in 2006, the first member I remember losing was Shelliks in September of 2007 - we had gone almost a year without losing any one. This year has been so horrid - we have lost so many of the best of women! I think we all (regardless of dx) are feeling the sadness which is then becoming anger and we are lashing out at each other because we can't lash out at the beast itself. JMHO Edited to add: Alaskadeb was our best peacemaker - I sorely miss her now. Anne
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Fitztwins Joined: Dec 2004 Posts: 7,727 |
Oct 21, 2009 10:39 am, edited Oct 21, 2009 10:40 AM
by Fitztwins
Fitztwins wrote:
I remember Ter getting attacked and accused of not having mets. I usually stood by the sidelines. I never jumped in on the political threads. That is just asking for it. Sadly, there have been several men run off too. Wash away my troubles, wash away my pain, with the rain of shambala
Diagnosis: 12/12/2004, IDC, Stage IV, Grade 2, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2+ |
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mthomp2020 Joined: Jul 2007 Posts: 878 |
Oct 21, 2009 11:27 am
mthomp2020 wrote:
I guess it's just the nature of public forums. Sooner or later, there are going to be people posting who have a personal agenda. Some people seem to take delight at being nasty or cruel, since they can get away with it without anyone knowing who they are. To be honest, since this board isn't really moderated, I'm surprised things haven't gotten nastier. I'm on a couple of horse-oriented boards, and I've seen the same person go from board to board to board and get banned every time. She'll post pictures of other people riding and rip them up, make comments about their weight, and even post their names on the board, which really is a big no-no. She has outed the identities of other board members. And these are on moderated boards. To be honest, what I've seen here is tame compared to some other boards. I've got a pretty thick skin, and it does take a lot for it to get to me. Diagnosis: 5/21/2007, IDC, Stage IV, Grade 3, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2+ |
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Reneepals Joined: May 2006 Posts: 1,152 |
Oct 21, 2009 01:11 pm
Reneepals wrote:
It is definitley the fact that the persons indenity is protected. It is amazing the moxy balls, some people can have. Renee
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Member_of_t… Joined: Sep 2004 Posts: 5,555 |
Oct 21, 2009 01:28 pm
Member_of_the_Club wrote:
Ah but the blue bikini woman was at least entertaining. Diagnosis: 9/30/2004, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIb, Grade 2, 1/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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Shirlann Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 7,043 |
Oct 21, 2009 01:53 pm
Shirlann wrote:
Hi gals, a lot of wonderful wisdom here! How great that is. I think sometimes we get people so overwrought and stressed they just blow up. At ANYTHING! It is sad, but I suspect it is true. And since I joined 8 years ago, we have added thousands of women, and in all that mass, we are bound to get some real characters, who fight with anyone, on a board or off. But hopefully, there are enough of us keeping our cool to help the newbies and each other to make this worthwhile. Love to all my sisters, Shirlann |
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pitanga Joined: Sep 2004 Posts: 563 |
Oct 21, 2009 05:42 pm
pitanga wrote:
Hi Shirlann! I remember you from way back when. Nice to see you. MOTC, I dont remember the blue bikini gal. What year was that? I do remember somebody who said she lived in Paris in high style. She posted on Moving beyond cancer and all she ever talked about was her trips to the spa, her shopping sprees and her fights with her maid who she believed was stealing her fancy perfumes. I forget her screen name. After I stopped posting I heard from someone that she had been run off the boards because people felt she was a troll. And when I thought back, I could not recall a single time she had posted anything about her cancer. Very suspicious indeed. But this running people off, it makes me uncomfortable. The moderators may be less responsive than we would like but they are the people who should make these decisions, not mobs of members. Lisa First dx 1999, age 39, Stage IIA. 2009--Local recurrence and mets.
Diagnosis: 2/5/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, mets, ER+/PR-, HER2- |
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SherriG Joined: Jan 2005 Posts: 4,861 |
Oct 21, 2009 05:47 pm
SherriG wrote:
OMGosh, MOTC!!! I do remember that blue bikini clad woman! She really ruffled some feathers but I always LMAO at her posts. She was so over the top that I just couldn't take her seriously. Yep, she was very entertaining. Thanks for reminding me of her. She is still making me smile! Diagnosed 11/05/04 Stage 3 ILC "Lump is a four letter word!" Sherri
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pconn03 Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,791 |
Oct 21, 2009 05:59 pm
pconn03 wrote:
Lisa: I too remember the gal who lived in Paris in high style, as well. Her stories were always so outrageous and over-the-top but definitely entertaining!!! It was as if she was trying to make us jealous of her lifestyle etc. and many the many men in her life etc. - when I think all of us really wanted was a good report and good health and to be out of this breast cancer nightmare. Anyway her name I think was Lucky or Lucky 42 . . . not really sure of the number after the name but I do remember it as being Lucky. Thanks for the fun memory. I think she was really a frustrated journalist trying to write a novel and trying her material out on us. :) :) Pat Pat
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SherriG Joined: Jan 2005 Posts: 4,861 |
Oct 21, 2009 06:06 pm
SherriG wrote:
Lisa and Pat, now that I'm thinking about it, I think that the gal who said she lived in Paris and led the life of the rich and famous is the same woman who bragged about how fantastic she looked in her bikini!!! Of course she had a cabana boy and lived poolside. Pat, you are right, her name was Lucky something. I kind of wish she would come back. She was a hoot! Diagnosed 11/05/04 Stage 3 ILC "Lump is a four letter word!" Sherri
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pitanga Joined: Sep 2004 Posts: 563 |
Oct 21, 2009 06:53 pm
pitanga wrote:
Pat you are right, her name was Lucky. And you are right, too, Sherri. I dont remember any particular color but I do recall some talk of bikinis and getting her nether regions waxed so she´d look her best while she was working on her tan! i also remember some talk of plastic surgery--NOT anything as mundane as reconstruction mind you! she was definitely a trip. I also had the feeling she was a writer trying out her material. First dx 1999, age 39, Stage IIA. 2009--Local recurrence and mets.
Diagnosis: 2/5/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, mets, ER+/PR-, HER2- |
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Member_of_t… Joined: Sep 2004 Posts: 5,555 |
Oct 21, 2009 08:44 pm
Member_of_the_Club wrote:
Yes, paris lady was the same as the bikini lady. She made many of us really irate at the time, though it is funny to think back on it. Diagnosis: 9/30/2004, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIb, Grade 2, 1/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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valeriekd Joined: Aug 2009 Posts: 123 |
Oct 22, 2009 12:57 am
valeriekd wrote:
i think these gals that piss us off play a special role of teaching us compassion that way we may never lose it for ourselves which of course would be the true travesty. conflict is interesting and a tru teacher if u sit outside and reflect on it. Valerie Diagnosis: 8/3/2009, IDC, 4cm, Stage IIb, Grade 2, 2/26 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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Member_of_t… Joined: Sep 2004 Posts: 5,555 |
Oct 22, 2009 12:15 pm
Member_of_the_Club wrote:
I'm feeling like a real old timer since no one else seems to remember the Italian handwriting guy. He was my favorite wacko. Diagnosis: 9/30/2004, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIb, Grade 2, 1/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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SherriG Joined: Jan 2005 Posts: 4,861 |
Oct 22, 2009 12:20 pm
SherriG wrote:
I started lurking here in Nov '04 right after I was dxed. Maybe he was a little before my time? At any rate, I'm sorry I missed him! Diagnosed 11/05/04 Stage 3 ILC "Lump is a four letter word!" Sherri
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pconn03 Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,791 |
Oct 23, 2009 03:51 pm
pconn03 wrote:
Sherri: Yes - me too. I came in July of 2003 but I just am not recalling the Italian handwriting guy. I wish I could too b/c he sounds like he was quite a hoot!!! Member: It might have been one of those spells when I wasn't on the computer as much and just missed him - but I was really on alot in those days so not sure how I missed him. :) Pat
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Babyface Joined: Aug 2004 Posts: 288 |
Oct 23, 2009 05:41 pm
Babyface wrote:
Lol...must be my memory failing me but I remember that it was different in terms of the squabbles then. For example when the south african woman was posting everyone else told her she was out of line....eventually she got the message and she was gone. When Ter had her problems yes that was a very sad state of affairs but it stands out in my mind as an anomaIy think for me the differences seemed to be that there were less "factions", less "sides" being taken , and it seemed like it was all the women together against the person who was causing the problems. I truly believe members were generally much nicer to each other back then. Perhaps I am simply seeing things the way I wish to remember them . Perhaps its the remnants of chemo brain. Or perhaps it is simply a coincidence that every time I do come to these boards of late and read that I see someone fighting about something or posting something without any regard to the sensitivities involved. I just dont remember it being that bad. |
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SoCalLisa Joined: Jan 2006 Posts: 3,146 |
Oct 23, 2009 05:52 pm
SoCalLisa wrote:
When I started this journey in 2000, there were not too many sites I could find...plus I was not very computer literate. I did see the one at WebMD and that was it...when I found BCO, I didn't really know how to log in or anything, but I could read...I didn't log in until Jan. 2006.. Shirlann was a real jewel for this site and still is...the best thing is that she lives in San Diego and joins our BCO lunch bunch when she remembers...lol Shirl.... I just hate it when there is squabbling for no reason on the boards and in chat...we all have different opinions about so many things but we agree we would like the world rid of breast cancer.. Hugs all around, SoCal Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance
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otter Joined: Jan 2008 Posts: 3,945 |
Oct 23, 2009 06:57 pm, edited Nov 12, 2009 06:22 PM
by otter
otter wrote:
(This post was deleted by otter.) Diagnosis: 1/14/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- |
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sam52 Joined: Oct 2003 Posts: 1,252 |
Oct 23, 2009 07:15 pm
sam52 wrote:
Just chiming in from the other side of the pond to say......that, yes, since I joined in October 2003......wow! 6 years ago .......I remember those weirdos now. I had forgotten them, til MOTC started this thread ?(chemobrain?) The woman from S.Africa who was so happy, happy was called Yvonne and I still have some of the correspondance I had with her - I think I kept them cos her mails were sooo offensive and off the wall I also remember Lucky,the blue bikini nutter; wasn't her bikini diamond-studded or something? But I have to say, I don't remember the Italian handwriting guy..... Then there was some woman in the chat rooms who kept us all aghast and totally supportive as she revealed over a period of time that her bc had spread everywhere, including all her private bits and she went into graphic details about the surgery needed. It turned out she didn't even have bc......but got some weird kick out of spinning her lies in the chatroom. BTW - do you remember how the chatrooms had colours, so you could all choose different colours which made it easier to chat. They said they would reinstate that,but never did.... It is just so nice to see faces from way back when.....though very sad to have lost so many too. Sam dx Oct 2001 IDC 1.6cm, stage II, grade 3, 3/11 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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spar2 Joined: Jan 2004 Posts: 6,036 |
Oct 26, 2009 06:34 pm
spar2 wrote:
I haven't thought of those years in a while, but when you think about it, there were fights just like now. I was too new and scared to do much posting back then just trying to learn. I do remember one lady that wrote really long posts that did not make any sense and her kids finally told her she couldn't post anymore because she was mentally incompetent. I still wonder what happen to her. There has been so many in and our. I remember I loved beachcottage4us and Harleyhoney. Old days and new days, they each have their pros and cons. www.spar2.multiply.com Lets help make each other's life better
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mthomp2020 Joined: Jul 2007 Posts: 878 |
Oct 26, 2009 06:36 pm
mthomp2020 wrote:
Well, blue bikini lady was way before my time. Sounds like she made for some pretty entertaining reading, though! Sometimes you just need some comic reliefe, ya know? Diagnosis: 5/21/2007, IDC, Stage IV, Grade 3, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2+ |
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