Topic: Where do you find your strength?
- Posted on: Nov 3, 2009 02:01 pm
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,839
I tend to be a Pollyanna (I know, I know) & that seems to make my journey easier to some extent, but the last month has really drained me & made me understand how it must feel as we reach the end of the journey & accept it............I am not there yet (especially with the steroid-reprieve I feel today) I wonder where we get the omph when we are running low----we have all been knocked down & gotten back up to fight again......what works for you? What gives you strength when you think you may be on empty? Can you name it? Thought this might help many of us the next time we hit bottom...
BTW---after prayers answered and the faces of my loved ones, my strength comes from this place & the support & love you all have shown for me & each other! When I was asking "why am I doing this?" Faithandfifty read some of your posts to me & it really helped me see WHY I am doing this.
Be well & stay strong
Diagnosis: ILC, 1cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 0/27 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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chainsawz Joined: Sep 2008 Posts: 259 |
Nov 3, 2009 02:14 pm
chainsawz wrote:
What a great thread Saint!! My family gives me strength. When I feel knocked down, I remind myself when I fight it shows how much life with them means to me. I have told them when my time does come, they can know I did everything possible to stay here and I would walk thru fire to hug them one more day. lisa Lisa -mets to lungs & brain.....the weakest step toward the top of the hill, toward sunrise, toward hope, is stronger than the fiercest storm.
Diagnosis: 7/21/2008, IDC, 3cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2+ |
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activern Joined: Aug 2009 Posts: 322 |
Nov 3, 2009 02:30 pm
activern wrote:
My feelings exactly Lisa - great post Saint !! I have those days and sometimes may fall into deep Depression. So many things to think about - the disease, family, treatment, what else? My family gives so much good support; however, I tend to hold back since we recently experienced a devastating loss last Fall when my younger sister succumbed from BC. I pray that they do not have to go through this again too soon. My upliftment when I feel all is lost is prayer, trying hard to maintain peace within my soul. BCO is my sanity though: for laughter, some aggression, and listening to others who may be worse off than me. Love and Prayer to all - Peace! Vilma Gordon
Diagnosis: 6/24/2009, IBC, Stage IV, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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Fitztwins Joined: Dec 2004 Posts: 7,731 |
Nov 3, 2009 02:31 pm
Fitztwins wrote:
The good days give me strength Hope Gives me Strength Friends Give me Strength Wash away my troubles, wash away my pain, with the rain of shambala
Diagnosis: 12/12/2004, IDC, Stage IV, Grade 2, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2+ |
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Starfall525… Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 5 |
Nov 3, 2009 02:32 pm
Starfall525 wrote:
By looking at my son and knowing that, no matter what, he is the thing I must live for. Never ask if it could get any worse..
Diagnosis: 2/27/2009, DCIS, <1cm, Stage I, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ |
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pookie61 Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 162 |
Nov 3, 2009 03:12 pm
pookie61 wrote:
Family, friends, sunshine, hugs, chocolate, band concerts, music, books, crocheting, smiles, on and on. Sometimes one thing works, sometimes another. You give me strength as well. Take care. Diagnosis: 10/10/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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EWB Joined: Jul 2008 Posts: 2,416 |
Nov 3, 2009 03:21 pm
EWB wrote:
I suppose first and foremost its somethng inside me that says its okay, we can try again tomorrow. My family (biological & not) certainly help and support and love me, but whatever "it" is comes from within, one day at a time, one step at a time, knowing and having faith that it will all work out ok. Diagnosis: 11/9/2006, 4cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2+ |
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konakat Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 1,616 |
Nov 3, 2009 03:27 pm
konakat wrote:
I get my strength from thinking I'm not done yet -- there are still some things I want to do. By getting pissed off. My desires (for now) are stronger than cancer's and treatment's SEs. Denial lots of the time. Wallowing in a chocolate-soaked pity party for a few days and then saying f**k-it, I got stuff to do. My curiosity of what's down the road. My cat. And trying to outlive my Mom so she won't know the grief of losing a child. That keeps me going. Elizabeth's Mantra: When in doubt, eat cake. When you haven't a clue, add ice cream.
Diagnosis: 5/2007, ILC, 3cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 13/19 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2+ |
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Reneepals Joined: May 2006 Posts: 1,155 |
Nov 3, 2009 03:31 pm
Reneepals wrote:
Love of My family, my Sons, my Hubby, and my many friends. My love of life. My love of God and knowing that God is bringing me through this and he has got my back. Renee
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RobinWendy Joined: Mar 2007 Posts: 1,283 |
Nov 3, 2009 04:01 pm
RobinWendy wrote:
Konakat, Your inspiration is very similar to mine. I WILL NOT DIE before my mother, I just won't (so I say). I also have a daughter that still needs me despite the fact that she is a young adult (23) and it's too soon. Also, I am very selfish... I want to continue enjoying life and although I just came off a massive pity party, at the end I get up, brush myself off, and get on with it. Chocolate helps. Robin dx Stage II primary BC in Jan. 2001;dx with DCIS on other breast in Jan. 2003; dx with mets to lungs in Jan. 2004 (What's up with me and January, anyway?)
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JeninMichig… Joined: Feb 2009 Posts: 477 |
Nov 3, 2009 04:18 pm
JeninMichigan wrote:
Saint What a great thread. Good for you being a Pollyanna... hey whatever it takes!! I am Queen of Denial and it keeps me out of depression. However when times get tough and you can't deny it... I look into the eyes of my two daughters. They only have me and they are at tender ages of 14 and 10... so I have do whatever must be done to be there for them as long as possible. I am nowhere near ready to leave them. I have gotten very close to God which is really cool. It has been along time since I have felt that awareness of God in my life. Jennifer Diagnosis: 2/22/2008, IDC, 2cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 4/9 nodes, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2+ |
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tooyoungtoh… Joined: Jul 2005 Posts: 439 |
Nov 3, 2009 04:39 pm
tooyoungtohavebc wrote:
Well for me I look at this as an endurance test. I got so tired of hearing the word FIGHT. To me it is not a fight...I am just enduring what I am going through and trying to hang on for a cure. That is what keeps me going...so much progress has been made...maybe just maybe I can live long enough to see a cure. That is my hope. Secondly my mom died of cancer at 47 so I am trying to outlive her! Diagnosis: 2005, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IV, Grade 3, 1/7 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ |
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lovinmomma Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 1,211 |
Nov 3, 2009 05:07 pm
lovinmomma wrote:
My family and friends. i wil not leave my little ones without a momma!! I just look into my 6 yos face and know that I will live to see her grown up. Kimberly 42 yo fighter Double mx 5/11/09 without reconstruction
Diagnosis: 10/15/2008, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IV, Grade 3, 26/26 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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kbugmom Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 15,128 |
Nov 3, 2009 05:19 pm
kbugmom wrote:
My faith is important and helps me. My kids and grands really keep me battling on. I look at there pics or at them when they are here and say you are worth it. People like you Saint helps me alot. I know it isn't easy for you either but you take time to post when able and you help. We all need that from those who really understand and walk the walk like us. Some days I have the biggest pity party around. I start another trial tomorrow. Am nervous of course. Here lately I get scared is my end near. I try to push those thoughts away. I even ask God am I not healed because I am not good enough. I said in the bible there is not small print that says only this one or that one will be healed. I have to remember his word is true. I know this time of year when days get shorter and colder I get down. But I am standing on Gods word BY HIS STRIPES I AM HEALED. Susan |
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heatherpalm… Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,779 |
Nov 3, 2009 05:46 pm
heatherpalmerton wrote:
Saint You give me strength to fight this beast. So many of these wonderful ladies do. Thank you for being here for us. Yes there are alot of things that keep me going. Heather HEATHER PALMERTON
Diagnosis: 1/18/2008, Stage IV, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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LisaSDCA Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 2,247 |
Nov 3, 2009 09:41 pm
LisaSDCA wrote:
One hears so often the well-meaning "I could never be as strong as you," "I can't believe how brave you are," "I can't imagine being courageous enough to endure all the sh!t you've gone through," -- yes, you could if your very existence depended upon it. If everything you cherished, everything that brought you joy, everything that thrilled you was being threatened with the ultimate loss - you'd fight. If you'd been at risk of losing all of this, threatened with never again enjoying the touch of the sun on your skin, the scent of an antique rose, every silly giggle, every time you catch the distinctive smell of the sea, newborns with dimples in their elbows, the unique pleasure found in a tiny glass of 1963 vintage Port, the charm of unexpected wit, the taste of fresh basil and garlic on summer tomatoes, the warmth of a down comforter on a blustery night, Mozart so exquisite it makes you weep, Maryland lump crab meat, every time you watch a sail unfurl, waiting while the breeze fills the blinding whiteness with the power of the wind, the smell of a centuries-old, old house, the next Tom Petty concert, a crystalline day in San Diego where you can see the ocean and the snow-capped mountains with one turn of your head... These are amongst the things, experiences I will miss - and they are worth fighting for. They give me "oomph". I will enjoy the privilege of the love of my family and my best-est friends until I am no longer. I will trust in the Lord. Trust in Him that He will let me know when my time here has come to an end. xxooxxoo Lisa p.s. I also get a real charge out of this: http://popup.lala.com/popup/432627090803575880
Stage IV mets to brain 11/2008 Mets are Her2 pos (!)
Diagnosis: 1/24/2007, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIa, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- |
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LisaSDCA Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 2,247 |
Nov 3, 2009 09:45 pm
LisaSDCA wrote:
It's an understood general 'you' that was written about in the last post - not the 'Saint' you. Thought I'd clear up any confusion in advance, Lisa Stage IV mets to brain 11/2008 Mets are Her2 pos (!)
Diagnosis: 1/24/2007, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIa, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- |
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konakat Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 1,616 |
Nov 3, 2009 10:09 pm
konakat wrote:
I've always been kinda a wimp. Having cancer has brought out a side of me that I never new existed. I am surprised by my strength and resilience time and time again (in between the big pity parties). Not to sound vain, but I'm a wee bit proud of myself. :-) Elizabeth's Mantra: When in doubt, eat cake. When you haven't a clue, add ice cream.
Diagnosis: 5/2007, ILC, 3cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 13/19 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2+ |
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riverinerab… Joined: Aug 2007 Posts: 773 |
Nov 4, 2009 01:37 am
riverinerabbit wrote:
My little family, my special friends, my friends on this board, my curiosity to see what's round the next corner. (speak to me again after radiation today when my head will be, once more, in the bucket). All this while the treatment and the disease, chips away at my physical being. X River
Diagnosis: 8/14/1999, DCIS, 1cm, Stage IV, Grade 1, 0/9 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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Nanalinda Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 341 |
Nov 4, 2009 08:16 am
Nanalinda wrote:
Lisa: I love your post. We all have so much to live for and you expressed it so well! I have a wonderful husband, 4 children, and 5 grandchildren who keep me fighting. I also have a love for life. I feel like every day is a gift. Diagnosis: 7/26/2006, IDC, 3cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2- |
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clemson93 Joined: Sep 2009 Posts: 56 |
Nov 4, 2009 08:23 am
clemson93 wrote:
Saint, from one Pollyanna to another, this is a great post. Like so many others, my young children (4 and 6 years) keep me going the most. I just can't imagine not doing all that I can to be there for them. I have also embraced my faith so much more than before, and that has been invaluable. Some of the little things include playing tennis, going to Disneyworld, watching movies, baking desserts, drinking sweet tea and many more. I know it sounds crazy but I am more excited about the holidays this year than any other. Even with the awful events of this past September, I am so thankful to be able to truly enjoy the most wonderful time of the year. Now, if we would just get some snow down south, that would keep me smiling for a while :) Susan Diagnosis: 9/17/08, IDC, 6cm+, grade 3, stage 3, nodes, dx with bone mets 9/09, stage 4, ER+/PR+, HER2-"Get busy living, or get busy dying."
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ead Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 248 |
Nov 4, 2009 12:10 pm
ead wrote:
Hi Saint, good question. I get my strength from my 12 year old daughter she keeps me going because she needs me. I too am a big fighter. The women on this site keep me going. I read how things are for them and I say to my self what strength you all have. Yes, and you Saint , you keep me going. Also, the holy spirt too. Liz Ead
Diagnosis: 6/3/2006, Stage IV, Grade 3, 1/18 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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activern Joined: Aug 2009 Posts: 322 |
Nov 4, 2009 12:35 pm
activern wrote:
We are One  <!--Session data-->Vilma Gordon
Diagnosis: 6/24/2009, IBC, Stage IV, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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respin Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 94 |
Nov 4, 2009 02:31 pm
respin wrote:
My side of the family is already gone, so, for my kids, knowing that I'm all that's left vs. my idiot ex husband and his equally idiot girlfriend - would give anyone the strength to overcome anything. Keep on keepin' on
Diagnosis: 2009, IBC, 4cm, Stage IV, 2/2 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2+ |
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konakat Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 1,616 |
Nov 4, 2009 05:03 pm
konakat wrote:
Love your post Respin! Elizabeth's Mantra: When in doubt, eat cake. When you haven't a clue, add ice cream.
Diagnosis: 5/2007, ILC, 3cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 13/19 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2+ |
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Duffymom Joined: Jul 2006 Posts: 167 |
Nov 4, 2009 07:07 pm
Duffymom wrote:
Like many of you, my 3 sons keep me going. Right now my goals are to make it to March and be able to go with my youngest son and his high school band on a trip to Italy. After that it's graduation in June. For now, these are my goals. My oncologist says she can't promise me that I'll make them, but she'll try everything she can to help me achieve them. Kathy Diagnosis: 10/2008, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IV, Grade 3, 0/12 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- |
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donnabee Joined: Feb 2009 Posts: 227 |
Nov 4, 2009 11:16 pm
donnabee wrote:
I am not sure what makes me fight. I'd love to see my daughter finish her master's program in illustration (and more importantly get a job). With all the "pick out your wedding dress" shows on TV these days, I'd love to see her get married, too. Well, while I'm making plans, how about a grandkid? I'm going to "retire" at the end of the year. I picture getting things done that I never had time for--like sorting through the photos from generations past. Getting an elderly shelter dog that needs a forever home and keep each other company. I actually have a spinning wheel and a whole fleece of black wool that needs spinning. Things are changing, too. The Lord is more important to me. (Stephanie taught me that He is able:) The people here are important to me too. I really can't picture getting along with out all you wonderful people. My husband iof 34 years is my rock. And my best friend of 16 years spells him when necessary. (I appreciate the fact that I can be exhausting at times :) In fact I am lucky enough to have surrounded myself with great people. er, I don't think I answered the question at hand, but I am ever so grateful that this wonderful topic started by Saint gave me the chance to examine these thoughts. Progression of bone mets was confirmed today and I was feeling kinda low. I feel much stronger now. thanks. -- donna From time to time even a blind squirrel finds a nut
Diagnosis: 2/9/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage IV, Grade 1, mets, ER+/PR-, HER2+ |
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Irina Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 699 |
Nov 5, 2009 01:53 am
Irina wrote:
This web site and my sisters from this web site keep me going. This is the best support for me. Next support my cats, college and my daughter. Dx 2/2004, 4cm, Stage IV, 5/0 nodes, mets ER+PR+HER2-
Diagnosis: 2/2004, IDC, 4cm, Stage IV, 5/0 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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mason204 Joined: Jan 2006 Posts: 484 |
Nov 5, 2009 03:07 pm
mason204 wrote:
I read this when I need the strength to go on: My mom has breast cancer. She has had breast cancer for four years. She survived because she had hope and courage. She never gave up. I have hope in my mom and if she still keeps hope she will make it. She's made it for four years. She can make it for another four. She has lost her hair from cancer. They've been looking for a cure but they unfortunately did not succeed in their mission but my mom will keep trying and trying and trying her best and as they say, try, try, try again. With my hope, my dad's hope and my sister's hope, she will make it another four years. She may not be a hero to anyone else but she's a hero to me. (signed by my youngest daughter). She wrote this as part of a project at school two years ago. She was 8 at the time. I post this on my fridge and I read it when I'm feeling down. THIS IS WHY I FIGHT TO STAY ALIVE!! As you said saint, be well and stay strong! Cheryl. Cheryl - Mets dx Aug/06 (lungs, liver, bones, abdomen)
Diagnosis: 12/23/2003, IDC, 5cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, 4/10 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ |
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donnabee Joined: Feb 2009 Posts: 227 |
Nov 5, 2009 11:18 pm
donnabee wrote:
wow, Cheryl. That is so poignant! I'll bet her teacher was fighting back the tears, (even if your daughter's classmates were a little oblivious) Indeed it is the little things. (Hey! i don't think it was because she'd have more work to do...:-) From time to time even a blind squirrel finds a nut
Diagnosis: 2/9/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage IV, Grade 1, mets, ER+/PR-, HER2+ |
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konakat Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 1,616 |
Nov 8, 2009 08:53 pm
konakat wrote:
That is so beautiful Cheryl. What a wonderful daughter -- only 8 years old to write such an insightful, hopeful message. Elizabeth's Mantra: When in doubt, eat cake. When you haven't a clue, add ice cream.
Diagnosis: 5/2007, ILC, 3cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 13/19 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2+ |
