All Topics → Forum: Not Diagnosed but Worried → Topic: so worried I have breast cancer
Posted on: Apr 24, 2012 03:25 PM
leelee101 wrote:
I am 43 and suffer from depression and extreme anxiety. It gets so bad that I overlook health issues out of fear. I have noticed littls lumps in my right breast for some time definetly over a year...now I find I have other symptoms of breast cancer. Like lumps under the armpit and one breast feels heavier..
I had a cbc done 3 weeks ago that showed I had type 2 diabetes and high cholesteral..but nothing else was wrong.
But I know this doesn't mean I'm cancer free..
I am terrified to find out cause I seen on the web if it is under your armpit it means it has spread...I have 3 kids who I raise alone and I can't stop crying..
I feel like I'm going to die from this...
I hear so many stories of woMen dying and I'm afraid to the point I am sick to my stomach..
Also I have lost weight recently but doc said it was from having diabetes untreated..
I have a pretty lonely life so I have turnd to this site for some feedback...
So afraid..I can't even explain how it is affecting me...
I wake up all hours of the night sweating and crying..
Please help
Thanks sooo much
Posts 1 - 30 (218 total)
Apr 24, 2012 03:29 PM Peacock wrote:
Did your doctor -- or whoever did the CBC -- examine you? You should get this checked out so you can move on. Disregard what you hear from and about strangers and get a doctor involved.
Apr 24, 2012 03:31 PM LovesChristmas-Barb wrote:
I'm so sorry you're going through this! I was scared too but the best thing to do is to get it checked and find out. If it's not cancer, then you don't have to worry about it any more and if,(hopefully not!), it is, the sooner you start treating it the better.There are lots of people on here who have been living for many years past their diagnosis...even women who were stage 4 when they were diagnosed. I personally know a women who has been stage 4 for over 7 years and she is still living her life and raising her kids. So please go to the doctor and get it checked!
Is it possible to get some meds for your depression and anxiety? That might be helpful too...
Apr 24, 2012 03:33 PM LovesChristmas-Barb wrote:
And please keep us updated and let us know how you're doing! Hugs and prayers!
Apr 24, 2012 03:39 PM, edited Apr 24, 2012 03:39 PM by TectonicShift
I'm sorry you are feeling so scared. We have all been there. Believe me, not knowing is worse than knowing. In many cases, breast cancer is treatable and curable these days, but the doctors are not going to come to you. You must go to them!
Please call the nearest breast health center. Go to the biggest, most famous hospital you can get to. Where are you located? We could help you figure out who to call.
Take baby steps. First one is to call a breast health center and get an appointment for a mammogram. Tell them you have lumps in your breast and under your arm and want an appointment asap. Tell them it feels like it is an emergency.
Apr 24, 2012 03:52 PM Makratz wrote:
Please talk to your doctor about this immediately. You have a whole community here to help and support you.
Apr 24, 2012 03:58 PM leelee101 wrote:
To PEacock; the doctor who did the cbc is just a random doctor ata clinic cause I don't have a family doc..they r hard to get in the city I'm in.. He said he couldn't feel any thing unusal..but he was so rushed..I didn't feel he was even listening to me.
To Barb: I just started taking anti deprresants and they will adjust them with something for anxiety soon..
To Posy1: I live in ottawa canada.. I always thought I had to be referred to breast helath place?
To all the people who answered.. Thank u..u have no idea how afraid I am, or I guess maybe u do...its amazing how words form starngers can help so much.
Apr 24, 2012 04:04 PM, edited Apr 24, 2012 04:05 PM by carpediem1965
{{{{leelee}}}} Get it checked out, most issues are benign lumps or cysts. Won't you feel better knowing it's not cancer? I always think so, that's what pushes me in to the doctor when I don't want to go. Also, I want to be here to see my daughter grow up and I am trying to make her not be afraid of medical issues, so I just tackle them head on! I would hate for her not to go get a lump in her breast checked someday because she learned that from me. Not sure any of this makes sense, but sending you a hug!
PS do you have any unexplained nipple discharge, like that stains your sheets at night or your bra? The lumps could be benign papillomas, I've had those.
Apr 24, 2012 04:04 PM leelee101 wrote:
Thanks u Linda ...you all are right.. I need to get it checked out..just so scared of the outcome
Apr 24, 2012 04:07 PM leelee101 wrote:
Yes carpediam 1965 u r right.. Thank u for the message..I guess I think of breast cancer and I think death ..that's what scares me
Apr 24, 2012 04:11 PM ali68 wrote:
Hi Hun, I feel for you and I know how hard it is being being on your own. I had a very small baby on my own till I met my hubby. Do you have a close friend to talk too? Please get checked out for your kids. I have stage 3 grade 3 with lymph nodes, chemo is working very well and I can't feel mine now. I have three girls and when I feel sorry for myself I look at them and think it's worth it.
Keep in touch
Apr 24, 2012 04:14 PM, edited Apr 24, 2012 04:16 PM by carpediem1965
Hi again! Well I am a little older than you and seems all of my friends have "something" at this point - I just figure my "something" is breast disease. :-) I try to stay optomistic. I've had lumps, bumps, surgery and biopsies for 6 years now and have to go in every 6 months for diagnostics. I look at it as preventive medicine, like taking my vitamin or getting exercise. I could hide under a rock and avoid it but that would get me nowhere. We're all here with you, we've totally been in your shoes and understand!
I also wanted to add that thyroid problems may cause breast related things, so another thing to tuck away. Your weight loss could easily be from stress - I don't eat when I am upset, so will lose weight without realizing it.
Apr 24, 2012 04:24 PM, edited Apr 24, 2012 04:31 PM by Kicks
Have you had a mammo, sono, or biospy? That's where to start. Enlarged node under arm CAN be a sign of some types of BC but they can also just be an infection.
CBC can in some cases tell something but not all. My Blood work (more than CBC) did not show anything when I saw my PA but she was sure it was IBC so 2 hhrs later I was at radiologyy for mammo, sono and biopsies - next morning had the path. report - IBC.
IF and that is a huge IF, you do have some form of BC - it is not a 'death sentence'. Some stats - 80% of all biopsies are benign. Of the 20% that are positive, 87% are still around in 5 yrs. Pretty good over all odds for all combined, though some types don't have great odds.
Be pro/self active. Demand answers before you assume the worst.
Apr 24, 2012 04:24 PM, edited Apr 24, 2012 04:26 PM by Joanne_53
Leelee -- you need to get a doctor to see you at that clinic and then get a referral for a mammogram -- There is no need to panic until you get this far. Once you have the mammogram then you will at least know if there is anything there. If there is anything, then it can be investigated further.
I felt the lump and then went to my GP who sent me for the mammogram, then ultra sound ....
So ... that is the start. We are all here for you but the best thing for you is to at least find out what it is.
Keep us posted.
Apr 24, 2012 04:27 PM leelee101 wrote:
You guys are all so amazing...u are going through so much and still take the time to answer me and help me feel better..God bless you all...
I think a huge reason I am so afraid is I have waited so long..
Apr 24, 2012 04:35 PM LovesChristmas-Barb wrote:
And waiting longer won't help so please go and we'll be here to feel relieved for you if it's not cancer, and IF it's cancer, we'll be here to support you. Take the first step! =)
Apr 24, 2012 04:37 PM Stormynyte wrote:
Don't let it wait any longer. Get to a Dr. and find out what it is. Take it from me, waiting on this kind of stuff sure the heck doesn't make it any better.
Apr 24, 2012 04:47 PM profbee wrote:
Leelee...you've heard it here, but I wanted to add one more voice to the chorus. :) You said that you think a huge reason you are so afraid is you have waited so long. So, let's stop that and find out what's going on. When I'm approaching a scan or test that makes me nervous I remind myself...listen, it's not that you are waiting for the axe to fall. Whatever you learn already IS. You're just gaining knowledge of it--all the better to treat it and get rid of it if it is something...and it is highly likely that it is not something serious.
Remember, here, you're pretty much talking to breast cancer survivors. There are way more people out there who have little bumps and whatnot that don't have breast cancer. So, find out what it is. It'll likely be nada and you can move on from the stress of worry. I'm a mom too, and I know we often put ourselves last, but this past year I learned that it is because of my son that I have to take care of ME first. If I'm not here, then what? (There's a reason why on a plane you put your own oxygen mask on first!) So, do this for you and your kids.
You can do it. And we're here to support you through it.
Apr 24, 2012 09:24 PM leelee101 wrote:
I want to again thank everyone for their kind words..I will somehow deal with it this week..I stiLl am very afraid...I have to stop imagining the worse..its just so hard...I'm trying
Apr 25, 2012 11:59 AM leelee101 wrote:
I also wanted to add that the lump under my arm comes and goes..like today its almost all gone...
I have an appointment tomoRrow with a doc at at the clinic and I will get him to send me for tests..I'm so afraid .. I really feel I have bc.. I have so many of the symptoms..I'm scared beyond words..
Apr 25, 2012 02:30 PM LovesChristmas-Barb wrote:
I'm glad you have an appointment tomorrow. Please let us know how it goes. I'm praying for you....
Apr 25, 2012 03:01 PM Ronnie22 wrote:
leelee-you're doing the right thing and taking the steps. Don't do this to yourself and I know easier said than done. You will have a hard couple of days, but it's only because of "not knowing" and nothing is confirmed. Try to just stay in your moment without creating your own movie, we have a tendancy to do that. You are worried over "fear" and don't let fear control your life.
"Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy." (Leo Buscaglia)
"Worry is like a rocking chair, it will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere." (Anonymous)
Hang in there sweetie and keep posting and venting. We have been there.
Apr 25, 2012 03:16 PM scaredallthetime wrote:
Hi leelee. I just want to say that I SO understand where you are coming from. I am also a single mom of two children and I suffer from extreme anxiety. Especially regarding my health. I am freaking out right now thinking I have IBC due to a red spot I found on my breast. The best thing I can say is focus on what is positive and LOGICAL. Anxiety tends to make our worst case scenarios the forefront of our minds and it is easy to lose perspective on reality. Yes, breast cancer is scary! But very treatable in many, many cases! Try to take comfort in the idea that even IF (which is still a big IF) this is cancer...that is not a death sentence. Those are the things I have to repeat to myself literally hundreds of times a day just to stay calm. I know how overwhelming these fears can be. I really hope you find out reassuring news. Don't be afraid to bug the heck out the doctors with questions. That is their job. Ask everything you need until you feel confident! :)
Apr 25, 2012 04:02 PM ali68 wrote:
So pleased you have an appointment, well done you are being very brave. You say you lump under your arm comes and goes, that is strange do you mean it moves about or it disappears.
You are not alone at being scared of doctors my sister-in-law is going to the hospital tomorrow thinking she has cancer on her tongue. This has taken her six months as she is scared so I'm taking her so she goes in.
My lump under my arm came up one morning and hurt like hell that's how I knew it was there. From then on it grew bigger everyday and a month later I couldn't put my arm by my side as it was in the way.
Apr 25, 2012 07:42 PM carpediem1965 wrote:
Hope your appointment goes well - so proud of you for going!!! Keep running it down til you know what's going on. Hugs and best wishes coming your way!!
Apr 25, 2012 07:54 PM camillegal wrote:
Glad u'r putting u'r self under a Dr.s care--Now u will be informed and go from there---and seriously not all lumps are cancer and hopefully u'r meds will really kickin and u wil be able to think more clearly---Keep us posted.
Apr 25, 2012 11:27 PM leelee101 wrote:
Once again thank you to all...when I log in here and read your messages it helps me so much.
The lump under my arm comes and goes..that is what I meant to say.
I'm so tired of looking for symptoms and researching symtoms...I am driving myself crazy..
I know it will be atb least a month to get results back for a mammogram or at least ii seen it written on the wall of a octors office.
It willb be a rough wait .but I know I nEed to know...
I am so happy I found u guys...you all have no idea hoiw much you all are helping me..
Thank you soo much
Apr 26, 2012 02:03 AM Stormynyte wrote:
A month? Thats crazy.
Apr 26, 2012 03:12 AM ali68 wrote:
A month, is that because you have to wait to have the mammo? When you have it done you get the results straight away. Push to have mammo straight away saying you are on meds for stress and worry about this.
Apr 26, 2012 05:32 PM leelee101 wrote:
I was wrong its 7 days for the results of a mammogram.I wennt to the clinic and seen a doctor he gave me paper to go get mammogram...so I will go tomorrow..I am so afraid...he said I get a call back only if they find anything...I will be so worried if they call me cause basically I will know I am I'm serious trouble...I am trying to not think about it but I can't stop.