Hi everybody,
I did not write for a while and now I need advices!!!
My wife is having chemo and her mood swings are awful!
I took a leave of absence just to take care of her for 5 months. I have to do everything a house wife does : cooking, cleaning, nursing....
I never did that in my life. I thought first love should be enough to get me through that. I don't recognize her anymore but I am telling myself I need to hold until the end of treatment. She is the one dealing with cancer not me!
But sometimes I have limits. I am busy from 7am until 10pm. I get maybe 2 hours break a day and she sometimes find a way to keep me busy. If I am tired and I don't smile, she blames me. She double check everything I am doing. I ask her to trust me but it is not impossible. She wants often to throw things. She is making me a new schedule now without asking me my opinion. I am exhausted sometimes and she sees it because I become stressed. So the word "divorce" came out from her mouth a few times.
I don't feel I love her much anymore. It has nothing to do with the cancer, it has to do with the way she acts. She blames her family and I for many things. She even told me “ I endure you for 4 years, you can endure me for 4 month”. These words hurt.
How about the hormones treatment now? The way I see it, our love won't survive.
I am couragous enough to talk about it here so...don't blame me, that won't help.
I need good advices.
Thank you.
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Jule Joined: Apr 2008 Posts: 222 |
Jul 23, 2008 01:48 am
Jule wrote:
Andrew, Your wife is tired, feels exhausted, and just trying to get through this process. You didn't say what type of chemo she was taking or where she is in the process. I saw that you took off work, did you have to? I know everyone is different but maybe it would be good for both of you to be apart a bit during this process. Again it depends on how she is doing, but my husband is not taking off work for me. He goes with me on chemo days which is good because I HATE going, but otherwise he is working. So perhaps this is a possibility. If not, do you have anyone helping you otherwise. Perhaps she needs to spend some time with family and friends. I know that we have had several people drop off food, offer to take the kids, or offer to have us visit them. It is not easy to accept all the time, because it is a pretty scary and depressing time. Is she or both of you going to any cancer meetings? I know that I heard about several support groups that are available. This is so difficult to go through and your support really does help her get through this....it is just a hard time for everyone. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife. Julie
Dx 4/23/2008, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIb, Grade 2, 2/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- |
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