Topic: Stage Less than 4 Woman...Here's YOUR place..

I don't know where to start!!! ....lol

A stage 1 woman posted on the stage 4 forum asking a question. The question was directed to stage 4 woman regarding progression. Some stage 4 woman found it offensive and the rest is history. Now the original poster is embarassed and ashamed. She got "put in her place" she didn't mean to cause problems, it was a mistake that any new comer to the boards could have made.

You could read the thread yourself and you'll get a better picture.

http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/8/topic/742235?page=5#idx_136

I stopped writing to stage 4 ladies awhile ago. It broke my heart. I used to PM some of them I wanted to give a hug too. I am way to afraid to do that anymore. So I just don;t. I sure hope they do not think I was fake when I did contact them. I just feel, they do not not not want me around anymore. I pray for them DAILY and I am not kidding.. They do not need a PM from me to get my prayers heard from our Father. I am not mad at all.. I am not stage 4. I will never understand their feelings unless I am. I feel it is not my place to try.

Orange...

We need you on these boards. You have so much great info to share for the newly diagnosed. Maybe Facebook would be better an option for a little while.

Omaha,

thanks for your nice words. I don't think I could completely leave, just maybe take a back seat for a bit.

can i vent?  can i really vent??

i hate crocs!!!  really!  that's the ugliest dang thing i've seen anyone try to call a shoe.  it's a non-shoe shoe.  it's like recycled rubbermaid.  i hate 'em!!!!

;-)

seriously, please don't leave, lexislove.  i've enjoyed reading your posts. 

Madalyn,

Yes, the stage 4 forum is to discuss stage 4 issues, and this thread is to discuss stage 1-3C issues.

You can participate if you like, if not its your choice.

I wonder how many years it would take a pair of Crocks to die in a landfill...1000 yrs maybe..lol

Your welcome Sheila,

Im sure....actually I know you are not alone in your feelings.

Estepp (((((Laura)))))  I get what you are saying.  I don't post on Stage 4 - I do read the threads because of some of the titles and then it isn't until later that I realize it was posted on the Stage 4 forum as I always go to active threads when I am on this site.

Privately I think of the wonderful ladies in the Stage 4 forum all of the time - I know Watson got my attention right away with her cute avatar.  Fitztwins - well she is just as direct as can be and I admire her for it.  Amber - she so inspired me with her private blog and her writings along with the beautiful words from her husband and the awesome pictures of her family.  I have a friend who lived here and then moved away, she is in the chat room - I don't go there because I can't keep up fast enough with what is being said but although she is not Stage 4 herself, she personally knows many of the women that are Stage 4 so on occassion I have asked her how certain women are doing - not out of curiosity but because I care about them even though I have never met them and I know she cares deeply for them.

I don't post in the Stage 4 forum out of respect for the privacy of those wonderful ladies.  Sometimes I get the urge to just say "you go get them girl" or something like that but I hold back.

I live in fear that my cancer will progress.  That is a normal reaction - I don't beat myself up over it.  I understand when others say they live in fear.  If anything these women living in fear are showing their vulnerability - that shows they are humble and that is a good trait to have.

Yes Jancie! (((((JANCIE))))) miss you!

Lexi is a gifted and giving contributor to this site, and it often produces interesting new discussions when a new thread starts. 

Gracie - cut out the vicious invective - it is not appropriate on this Board.  I am

best to all - astonished that a woman who professes to be a christian can behave in this fashion.  ENOUGH please.  Lexi is consistentyl helpful to people and I can only imagine you have not followed other posts where this has been so clear for anyone to see.

Nice to bump into you again Sheila.  How ridiculous that anyone should be dismissive of your TX - there are some very odd people on this Board sometimes.  You are right, we are all on the same train journey.

best to all  xxxxxxx

Lexi,

I can understand why some non-Stage IV women would feel hurt about what happened on the Stage IV thread.  I really believe that the original poster was/is afraid and needed some reassurance.  The problem with that is that the Stage IV women  see that as "tell me I will not end up like you."  If you look at the history of the Stage IV thread, these types of questions have been asked and answered many times.  Considering that the Stage IV women KNOW they are dying, yes let's be blunt here, and that they are trying to live, raise their children and PROLONG their life with dwindling choices in care, I can understand why they may take offense and be TIRED of answering these questions.  

Also keep in mind, that several women died in the past few weeks.  These were all Stage IV women with small children who did EVERYTHING possible to be able to be around for their families.  So, many of the Stage IV sisters were feeling especially scared and vulnerable.

I have LCIS/Stage 0.  I am also afraid of one day having cancer, but can I really understand what it means to be Stage I, II, III, IV?  Can I understand what it means to be going through rads, chemo, have mets?  NO.  I can sympathize.  I can feel your pain.  I can cry when Heidi and Amber pass away, but I cannot know what it is like when you KNOW BC will kill you.  That is the major difference.  Women with Stage I-III know that BC can or may kill you.  Stage IV women KNOW it will.  It is just a matter of time.

I do think that that particular thread really got out of hand, but try to have some sympathy for women who have to wake up everyday wondering if this is the day their oncs tell them there are no options left.

Mary 

Yes, I said I would not be back, but I am ;)  Not to argue any more with lexis.  She's not worth the time....but to let those of you who do care about our Stage Four sisters and indeed ALL sisters who are fighting this fight, that another thread has been created for those of us who are sick and tired of all of this vindictiveness and want to just talk.  No fighting will be allowed, hopefully if all of us ignore those few individuals who are sick enough to want to belittle a stage four sister, we can have a great thread.  You are all welcome who want to come and just talk.  

Thanks, and Blessings to you,

Gracie 

errr, at what point did Lexi fail to care for Stage four sisters?  Her posts in various places are invariably kind and caring.  I don't agree with all ofher views ut that is fine.

It is plainly unfair and unkind for it to be stated that she does not care for people.

Really, this site sucks.  It is full of bitching, meaness, religious hypocrisy, and bullying.  And after your nasty comments Gracie you like to perceive yourself to be amongst the peace makers?

It would have been better if the Stage One lady had not posted on that thread, but that was dealt with and Lexi doesn't deserve to be a leper as well as a cancer patient.

I think I prefer being near the lepers overall, they appear rational.

London Virginis....

Thank you . I have never ever on this site have said anything bad about anything or anyone....EVER. Check back my posts!

The last year I have used my time to answer newly diagnosed woman or woman going through treatments questions.

I have no clue who Gracie is and why she has it out for me. But hey.....I can deal with it I'm a big girl with tough skin.

I still hope for this thread to be used for ranting and raving about ANYTHING......