evilelf

A man goes to an  oral surgeon to have a tooth pulled.

The dentist pulls out a freezing  needle to give the man a shot. 
 
'No  way! No needles! I hate needles!' the patient said

The dentist  starts to hook up the laughing gas and the
 man objects. 'I can't do  the gas thing.

The thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating  me!'

 The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection
 to  taking a pill. 'No objection,' the patient
 says. 'I'm fine with  pills.' 

The dentist then returns and says, 'Here's a Viagra tablet.'  The patient says, '

Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a  pain killer!'

 'It doesn't,' said the dentist, 'but it will give you  something to hold on to

when I pull your tooth!'
 

A fart it is a pleasant thing,

It gives the belly ease,

It warms the bed in winter,

And suffocates the fleas.

A fart can be quiet,

A fart can be loud,

Some leave a powerful,

Poisonous cloud

A fart can be short,

Or a fart can be long,

Some farts have been known

To sound like a song......

A fart can create

A most curious medley,

A fart can be harmless,

Or silent , and deadly.

A fart might not smell,

While others are vile,

A fart may pass quickly,

Or linger a while......

A fart can occur

In a number of places,

And leave everyone there,

With strange looks on their faces.

From wide-open prairie,

To small elevators,

A fart will find all of

Us sooner or later.

But farts are all bad,

Is simply not true-

We must never forget.......

Sweet old farts like you!

I'd just moved into our dream house, which was 3 hours from my doctors (my hubby stilled lived in Montgomery, hadn't retired yet) had the usual pap and mamo, got called back for another mamo and ultrasound, scheduled a biopsy, I kept kidding with the doc and technician, I'd never had to put my boobs through two holes while she did the sewing maching sounding thing ... When the doc was finished, the tech asked me if I'd like to see the samples, I said sure.. I said WOW, I didn't know my boobs were that round   DUMB BLOND/REDHEAD

it was the petree dish that was round... DUH

I drove down for both the biopsy alone, didn't want to alarm anyone, then when called into the office for the results the tech had a box of tissues, I though this isn't good...

The doc said you have cancer, we caught it early then looked at me... I looked at her and said where do we go from there and left with an appt with the surgeon

 All I could think of is how am I gonna tell my mom and my daughter ( my aunt was just diagnosed with some kind of stomach cancer)

My mom was on a travel trailer trip to Texas for the rattle snake round up and I didn't want to ruin

 their trip so I waited till they were getting ready to leave for home...

I met with my hubby and daughter at Shoguns and told them the news... My daughter said so this isn't the place that I can get down on the floor and cry  I said no...

She asked me if I were scared, I said no, she said would you tell me if you get scared and I said yes...

I told them this is something that I have to go through at this time of my life,

I got back in my car and drove my 3 hour trip in a daze   I then started calling my friends and asking if they were up to date with their mamos and told them my dx

I'd always seen the world through a childs eyes, stopped and smelled the roses, I've always been a pretty patient person but this really made me want to spend as much time with my mom and family as it could all vanish in a blink of an eye

It did hurt my Air Force Reserve military career, I'm non deployable anymore, was supposed to go to Germany for my annual training but went to Mississippi instead then to New Orleans for a really long weekend

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MY FRIEND

rain gear

Boy have I been out of the loop,,,

From where to where did you move??

Any specific reason (I'm a little nosy)

Hi ladies, just checking in to see how everyone is doing.

Am trying to catch up with all the comments, it's gonna take a while

Check with you later

Where the Boys Are 1960

exlax