Ter

Hi everyone,

Yes, it's been very long since i have actually written, I have just had TONS of personal ugly issues, my own health, which is why Im also here, and that is rads for pain, who has had rads for pain here?  I am so scarred of this it makes me sick to my stomach, though the pain has gotten so bad, and my energy level is zilch, as I can't eat, and yes I have dropped so much weight and inchesm its not even funny, when i started here, i was a nornal size from 10-12, i always hid any excess weight away due to thats just how my body was, but now Im actually tired of buying smaller clothes, as im down to size 4 and Im keeping going down, and the other day I purchased online my last pair of jeans, as tops, im just letting them hang.

I had to be in court last week, and had a new pair of 4's black cord jeans on w/a velor top on, well the top as i had laid my clothes out the night before and as i was getting dressed, sitting and hanging on to my walker as i keep falling more and nore,  as a couple days ago i was walking up ramp to front door and the screen door opened and my balance fu'pad on me and down I went and hit my head on the stucco wall in outiside entry way, and my walker fell on top of my "good foot", it hurt so bad, and it was the straw that broke the camels back as it really hurt and my neighbors saw and I laid there after whalling a AHHHHHHHH crash then just bawled my eyes out, and didnt have the energy to try to get up...when i could the pain was oh oh!  Thank G*d i knew it wasnt broke just bruised badley, and most of all my pride had just taken its tole....

I dont know what to expect w/rads to the leg/hip, and so very scarred, what should i expect?

The other thing is, is Frank apparently has been having bad headaches, and the dr, did an MRI of his head, and the report came back with that he has a cyst on his brain!!!! and most of you know that for 4 years they told me, yes the same dr who told me year after year that i had a "fatty tissue" within my marble size lump, and back then as we dont or didnt know quite as much as we do 4-5 or more years later.....Im telling him to get a 2nd opinion, and im researching in the web, and yes very scarrred for him.

During my absence i have and still trying to learn to take my BC and mets as number 1, as I had put it on the back burner dudring the past year Id say, and all the other issues as the top of list.

Im very tired, sleepy, which i know besides my meds, and also depression, also with the meds they changed the pain ones, as I was on the generic of dilliaudid, and the drug store didnt have enough as i take quite a lot, so they used another brand of it, and WOW same mg etc, but these things are helping so much better on the pain, yet it makes me higher than the others, which now I know i cannot drive while taking.  The others IF I took only one, of only 4mg at times i was ok to drive, with the new brand NOPE, and i need to take 8-12 mg every 4 hours to keep me out of any pain.

 OK I got most my "rambling" done, but ok i got more, IF I can get a picture in herem I got a new pic of my mom, as we had Thanksgiving a week prior to TG when my sis was in from Wash State and made the whole dinner, and we had "us's" here, plus some good friends, but we also had got mom here, oy she was so cute as someone had dressed her up as a pilgrim and i had to show you a few of the pic's of her and one with my sis....she looked like a little 83 year old amish lady, but you cant see as she also put on big buckles on moms shoes....had to show her offm, as most of you know and have seen her in pic's or in person.

oh poo, i have tried and tried to get that cute little pilgrim out here and dah, im too dence to figure it out, if anyone has that special touch, please email me, and offer advice please!

1. thanks so much for letting me "ramble" and ask and let you know whats up in my corner of CA.
2. hugs
3. Ter

Hope this finds you Deb, at least  feeling a tad better.

My  thoughts and prayers are with you.

hugs

Ter

Deb, I wrote a post to you, though I put it in like the above stated to go to "such a link", thats where I wrote mine, just didnt want you to think I hadnt been thinking of you.

More hugs and many thoughts for you

Ter

Oh I feel so bad about Joni, and all you Ta Tas' who knew Joni so well.  I only knew her from her post's.  And yea she had an ora about her.

Joni, may you rest in peace , til we meet someday.

Ter

Sounds SO good to me, though Im going through a VERY expensive legal thing now, as I was going and needing to get away for a few weeks , yea up again to my sis's in Wash state, but its too cold for me now, plus my "stuff" here going on, all travel is going to have to wait.....

A few of us a couple years ago met up in Wash State, it was awsome, and the country up their is G*ds country...I might have to wait til spring to do anything of fun or financial, though you guys have fun, and think of me where ever you go.

hugs

Ter

hi,

Ive been procrastinating dental work, as for so many years I was on methadone for the pain for my fibromyalgia and RSD and other bone pain, and after so many years, as I had the greatest smile, and they "the teeth on top" had to go due to the meds..plus I became allergic to the meds, and went on dilliaudid..anyway I had to have it done and wear a denture on top, but the bottom ones need adn i had a partial on bottom but i lost it, it was for back teeth, and now one of the kind of back ones had a horrible infection thru my whole body and under my arm, which my onc put me on antibiotics, which helped alot of diff things infected in me..NOW I am needing to go in and have them extract that one tooth as it all didint come out just broke and that needs to me yanked out, OUCH, then i want a partial for the bottom ones so i can chew, which may make me gain a bit of weight, as i dropped so much in such a short time, from a 12 to a 8, wo i had to buy all new clothes, and now those size 8 are hanging on me,  and I eat only small meals anyway, and lots of kind of good food, but Im so scarred of the dentist, and im hoping he will be able to pull that one tooth out himself besides send me to an oral surgeon, as the prices are outrageous, and then set me up for lower partial, which will make me feel better....I know it hurts with out being knocked out, but my nerves i dont think can handle it....so as of what i have read above gives me lots to think about that i hadnt even realized....

just tired of appts, and pain, but i know it needs to be done...but i eat basically soft things or like chicken, and tons of potato salad, as im on a kick with it, as i nevr use to like it at all, NOW i have to have it, and would rather have it besides icecream!, yes i know im wierd..

thanks for all your info .

hugs

Ter

Oh I forgot, hello to all these new gals I see here, welcome, as this one site and the mets and recourrance are the best gals around.

and yes I will try to eat more, as I try, Im stuck on potato salad, which I have always hated, ugh, but always tried just a bite of anyones, but a few weeks ago, wow I purchased some at the deli and WOW, my mouth loved it..just had a bowl ful instead of like icecream..I know I am wierd, but i want to fit into my size 8s very bad, but they hang so low and baggy, and i dont want skin tite, but at least not to pull up every second...never had this problem, plus i guess i have been very fortunate never having to be on a diet either to loose, but now trying to gain..and cooking is very hard, my son helps alot but he's also a man who will cook some but cleaning is the pitts, and i try each day to do one thing of cleaning, no not the whole house but just a bit at a time, and today was bed changing and a bit of laundry, and I am tyring to keep it like that, as doing too much and pushing myself is the pitts, and then im down for days..

please dont forget me in your prayers in this "issue" I cant go into...yes its legal and thats all i can say.

love and hugs

Ter

Im in the middle or start of it right now laying in bed, just waitng for time to pass for 10pm so i can take my pain meds.

Thanks for letting us know, as Ive seen the commercials on it all this past week.

Ter

hi,

yes this is my actual 5th year since "real" diag, we wont even go there!

What Id like to see in all the BC awareness crapola is more statistics on men getting BC NOT just women.  I read an article in the doctors office a week or two ago and it stated that there will be 1,990 men being diag with BC in 2008.

I have this thing that IF I should get one caller calling to sell me something, I automatically ask them how long their schpelll will be, if they say 2-5 min, i say ok, but i cant afford anything, yet they tell me about their product ONLY IF they say at first they will listen to ME tell them my own schpell afterwards.  And ALL of them listen to me about BC.  I start with "do you have a wife, mother, sister, lover, girlfriends etc, and they say yea, well i tell them a bit about BC, and boy oh boy do they listen, I dont go into details too much, but I do mention IF they have a problem and their doctors dont comply or do something besides a mammo or ultrasound, tell them to get 2nd 3rd etc opinions, I get tons of thank yous from them, and the men i talk too, actually listen to me, and thank me, and I tell them that MEN get BC also.  That really gets their attention...and they tell me they are going to pass my info on to their sisters etc....I dont buy their product, but by the time Im done,I think they forgot why they called me  LOL

as of "pink"  I wear my bracelets and a  cute pin my cousin made me, but kind of wierd that last winter I did buy a few pastel pink and lavender soft light tops.

hugs

Ter

Janis,

with just your "home" duties and things you do there is enough to gag me, plus all your extra art activities that most likely keep you sane and home chores, and your boys and DH, wheeew!  Plus working on top of that, girl Im so glad your boss is very understanding, and your really fortunate for that, but this damn BC.  Just slow your little hiney down still, as "things" just dont need to be done that fast...my moms ole saying is "your home needs to be clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy"....yea mom is doing well, just had her pacemaker redone, but she p;ushes herself around w/her feet in the w.chair all day, and her legs and feet really get a work out, and dr said you MUST at least 2 X a day put your feet up....as like mom w/blood clots, i have the same...but overall, she is doing very well, she is such a cutie, soon those new batteries or pacemaker , shell be like the energizer bunny at age 83,,sure wish all of you could meet her, as a  couple gals from here that dont come on site much were here visisiting me, and we went down to the rest home and they got to meet mom....yes everyone fell in love with each other and mom just loved them...she even gets cards from a few, which makes her day, thanks you guys.

keep going J,  but go slower, as nothing is that important!

hugs

Ter