myishaforteena

Hi, I'll share a glass of wine too--

   My mom had almost the same dx as your mom. She was 59 at dx (had birthday one week after finishing tx!) er,pr and her2pos. She had negative nodes, grade 1 and a mass of 2 cm. Her onctype score came back at 17. Because of the her2 positivity (at that time herceptin wasn't widely given without chemo) and truthfully, because she's a black woman and there are lots of unknowns surrounding the pathologies of BC in Black women, the onc wanted her to do chemo. He expressed his wishes gently and then left it up to her. She chose chemo and did 4 rounds of TCH.

Chemo was not good, but it was doable.

What really prompted me to write was that I wanted to share some things about the aftermath of chemo. The most important thing is that she is truly at peace with her decision to do chemo, and in that sense, she is moving on into the rest of her life feeling like she can leave BC behind. She has no lingering worries about what else she could have done to fight for her life. She did it all and is looking forward to living.

On the other hand, chemo robbed her of the body that she used to live in. Her life now is very different; it's not the specific SEs but the diminishment of strength, balance, vitality and confidence in her body that affects her the most. Chemo brain is real, and it sometimes leaves her missing her old self. She had osteoarthritis in her back, and now it is exponentially worse. Some of this is due to the Arimidex, but some of it is due to the savage work that chemo does in the body, and from which the body may not always recover. She is a year and a half out of tx, and even though she feels better, from what I can see, she doesn't feel totally, unequivocally great. Her enjoyment of her life is different-- both deeper because she is here, and maybe narrower, because she doesn't necessarily do all that she used to do, or at least, not with ease.

From one daughter to another, I'm glad my mom did chemo. She is not haunted by BC, and so neither am I. On the other hand, not a day goes by that my heart doesn't break over its lingering effects on her life. Your mom will have to be sure she wants to do it in order to feel it was worth the cost.

I wish you and your mom the best.

MyishaforTeena

Hi Bluejay,

   I usually lurk-- I read and post for my mom Teena- but was moved to post because your dx is almost exactly the same as my mom's.  She too had a node neg, 1.1 cm, stage 1, grade 1, triple positive tumor. Many women on this board have said it is strange to be her2+ and grade one, but that was her diagnosis. She was 59+1/2 at dx, and finished chemo a few weeks before her 60th birhtday.

    She did taxotere, carboplatin and herceptin. She did her treatments once every week for three weeks with one week off, for four months, and she continued the herceptin after the chemo until she had had a year of herceptin. 

    She actually did her rads first because the Dr originally thought no chemo, but the oncotypedx came into wider use right then and she was tested. Her score was in the lower part of the intermediate range of scores. With the intermediate score and her2+ she decided on chemo. She is postmenopausal so she now takes arimidex.

   Going from the propsect of surgery, lumpectomy, rads and hormonals to chemo was difficult emotionally because having to have chemo somehow made it all so much more scary and dire. The chemo was hard, but she says feels good that she did everything she could to prevent recurrance, especially because her2+ tumors can be sneaky, even at stage 1. What gave her peace of mind about her decision was the oncotype dx score which is thought to be highly accurate. I hope you will get this test-- it's a great tool.

Good luck Bluejay,

Myisha, for Teena 

Hi Beth,

   I read and post for my mom, Teena. I mostly lurk, but even though I am usually silent I and my mother have gotten tremendous support from the boards. You all helped me help her through chemo, and even recommended oncs when we moved to northern CA. We wouldn't have made it without the community here.

    I have been amazed again and again by this beautiful sisterhood, and (silently) continue to particpate by sending prayers and good thoughts along.

Sometimes I don't post as I don't want to intrude, but I couldn't hold back from expressing my pleasure about your return to the boards. Yaaaay!

    I have passed on some of your suggestions and ideas to my mom as she finds her way into life post bc. I'm glad you are back. You are a bright light here!

Myisha, for Teena