1Cathi

Hi Pinky,

I was reading your post again and I just wanted to say don't be to hard on yourself, don't expect to be 100% ok with all of this -all of the time.  As I said I am very-very ok with my choice for bilat no reconstruction but that does not mean that I have not had a few moments when I was sad,  but my sadness did not come from having my breasts gone so much as it came from the fact that I was mad that I was in this position, I had to make such a choice. 

When I made my choice I knew I would be completely altering the body I had known for 48 years, recon or no recon I was never going to have the same look or feel to my chest,  I had to realize that the big picture was my health and life.

So am I 100% happy with my new look all of the time  -No - but it is at about 98% all of the time.

Am I 100% happy with the choice I made to protect my health -YES!!!! YES YES!!!!!

A personal choice is just that PERSONAL-  what works for some  -may not for others, but sharing these feelings is what helps. 

HAVE 2 HAPPY TURKEY DAYS SHELIA, it is unseasonably cold everywhere - we are freezing down this way too, sunny skies but BURRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

It is so very, very dry to, have a few fires up north burning, we need rain so badly.

Not to personal at all -thats one of the great things we can talk /ask anything. 

I had lumpectomy in 06 then rads (33 treatments on L breast).  In the past 2 years my right breast has just been a real pain had 9 biopsies (2 were excisional) all B9 but very atypical, after 9/11 biopsies I decided it was time -  so I did see a PS per my BS request.  I went through radation quite well -  a bit of burn w/the boosts, I just really did alot of reserch and talking and reading the threads here,  I just wanted to be done with this the thought of more surgery for recon was not what I wanted to do, and I really didn't want the possible complications or failure risk that accompinies many recons after rads.

When I was DX in 06 I was very uninformed about BC , did not have the advantage of this sight, so I just blindly followe dDR's orders and did what they said, had I known then what I know now I would have done bilat then and Immediate recon, but I have no regrets, this is my life and I am alive.

And yes I have been told I look quite athletic and thinner as well, my hubby says I don't need to look any thinner - but he loves me with or without

Cathi

Hi Kim,

I am not doing reconstruction, after much research and speaking with other woman and A PS, I opted not too based on my previous radiation to the Left breast I was not willing to face the possible complicatios/failure rates, many woman do have success after rads but for me it was not the right choice, my right side 5 weeks out is almost 100% my left side still has a few issues with healing so once again I know that I made the very best choice.  Thanks for the compliments, I am now 48 and VERY happy with where I am in my life and body, I am very, very happily married but yes I do get some head turns and my hubby thinks that is just great because he is the LUCKY one who gets to always come home with me.

I received this from my daughter.... Just sharing.

On a Wing and a Prayer

I'll never forget that fateful day
When I heard the doctors say
We have bad news, the tests are in
I suddenly lost my happy grin.

They said don't fret, but to no avail
We will get through this..we will not fail
There is no choice, we must stand tall
And beat this thing, once and for all

Three months have passed and I am weak
My body tired, my soul so bleak
I will get through this that I know
But at this moment, it does not show

I want to rest my weary fears
And pretend for a moment that I don't care
To carry them all through the day
Just makes it harder...please go away

Four months have passed and I am bright
My cheery soul shines through the night
I think I've beat this monsters grip
My strength and courage, I came equipped

Today's the day they'll tell me so
You've beat this thing...one month to go
Let's sing and dance the night away
I'm happy now...so won't you stay

I always knew right from the start
I would prevail...for I've got heart
They said don't fret...what did they know
I had to prove it was my show

I fought this beast and now I've won
Thank you mommy...said my son
I don't know what I would have done
For it was all or merely none

I' ve shown such strength and through it all
I never wavered, I stood so tall
I made it through, from there to here
All because of a wing and a prayer

GREAT-GREAT AWESOME NEWS FOR UB - AND SAYING LOTS OF PRAYERS THAT YOU ARE THE SAME!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

WOW Lisa we could be sisters,  my daughters to endured to much from my EX espically the oldest,  That is my truly one biggest regret in life ALLOWING it,  she has been a bit full fiqured since she turned about 13 the 'TEASING" as he called it, crushed her so many times,  makes me so sad to think about it now,  I was so busy trying to PLEASE him and keep him happy be the good/perfect wife I allowed it.  Yup I woke up one day sitting on our back patio alone -looking up into the most beautiful sky that day I spoke to God he spoke to me and I decided I was not spending the rest of my life like I had been. I told him I was gonna leave, but in one last effort suggested counseling or anything that might help -  he said try and "F-IN" leave,  so for a few weeks I planned my escape and it had to be an escape-  On a Monday AM when he left for work I loaded up my Blazer with all that was dear to my heart (things I could not replace) and headed out.  I left behind everything - house everything.  I didn't even have a dish to my name. 

Anyway I got an apartment - and there was no looking back,  I started from scratch but I didn't care, it was just stuff,  WOW I just realized something,  Iw as so weak back then, and finally got the strength to do what was right and good for me -  and these years later BC and I just got rid of "STUFF" again to do the right thing.  I HAVE GOT NEW STUFF AND NEW BOOBS!

By the way I have named them Marilyn and Raquel -  Ed came home last night I said I took the girls out for a ride today, he is looking at me like ???????????  then I pointed to my chest.

HAVE A GREAT NIGHT -  XOXOXOXOXOXO

Hi Jasminn -  I just had a Bilat on 10/17 (no recon) - I was D in 06 with ILC in my left breast at that time I had lumpectomy ,  node excision, rads and tamox. 

I did not opt for the bilat because of a reccurance (well none when I choose to do the procedure) but because over the past 2 years I have had 9 biopsies in my right breast (the good one) every one showing very atypical changes -  I was just a matter of time for me to have a recurrance. I began thinking about the bilat a year ago , it took much reading, research and speaking with other woman to make the decision.  I opted out of recon based on what I learned of possible failure/complications with my rads to my left breast. 

While I am just a month out of surgery I am doing what I am my BS say is "GREAT' a few healing issues on L, I had a few teary moments,  but very short lived,  for the first time in 2 years I feel as though I HAVE FINALLY WON THIS BATTLE-  nothing is 100% but I am darn close. 

This is not an easy choice -do not just JUMP into it -  it is a decison you can not reverse once it is done. 

For me it was completely the RIGHT choice on all accounts.

Good Luck -Cathi

Daer Fifi

So sorry to hear of your DX, as it all seems so overwhelming and scary right now , you have come to the right place for support. 

The road can be long and sometimes dificult, but you will get through ii -there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. I was DX 2 years ago and while I am now recoverying from mastectomy (your journey may very well not be as long) I am stronger, wiser and cancer free.  Your day will come.

As the others have said have someone with you at appointments if at all possible and come here often, to talk, ask questions, cry and rant - we are all here for you.

XOXOXOXOXOXO -Cathi

Hi Ninel,

We are almost neighbors, I just had Bilat and obted for no reconstruction because of the rads to the same areas.  My BS did have me consult wit a PS before the final decision so that I was aware of all options available.  The PS said he would have attempted the Implants/expanders how ever he did caution me about the high failure rate/complications.  He would have opted over anything Tram - however fter much research and speaking with others I went with no recon and very glad I did, I have not had major healing issues in the rads side but it is healing far slower than the non-side. 

GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR DECISIONS.