AnnNYC

Robin, did you contact the moderators (Moderators_Tami-Melissa) first regarding posting this news here?  Your book sounds very good, but since you have not posted here before, this might be considered solicitation, advertising, or "spam."

You can click on the moderators' profile:

http://community.breastcancer.org/member/56097/profile

and then toward the upper right of the page, click on "Send member a Private Message"

Tami and Melissa can then review your information and post it themselves in "Moderator Messages" or instruct you where to post, or note their approval here.

Thanks, Ann

Hi MME,

I am also a person who needs a lot of space, and was beyond-disappointed (traumatized) by my early family life.  I live far from my siblings and my mother -- which is fine.  My son was 23 and in college when I was dx'd.  My boyfriend lives 2 hours away and travels a lot for work, and we had had a "sort-of" relationship for 8 years when I was dx'd.

He really "stepped up to the plate" much more than I had expected.  I told him about the biopsy, but I didn't tell him the night I got the results.  My doctor had said she would tell me on a Tuesday, so when she told me the Friday before, I just sat with the news by myself for a few days.  That's the way I am, and I think I feel stronger that way -- and felt stronger in that situation, to just live with the news for a few days and very carefully parcel it out.  So on the Tuesday that my boyfriend was expecting "the news", he was driving from a teaching gig to his home, called me, asked why I hadn't called him yet, I said I didn't want to upset him while he was driving!  He said, "You can't be worrying about me, now is the time for me to be worrying about you!"

Anyway, when I told him, he said "Sweetie, I'm so sorry."  And "I won't let anything happen to you -- we'll get through this." (This felt great to me, but I have to warn you, some women would have hated it.)  And "Promise me you'll do whatever the doctors say you need to do to take care of this.  After all the mainstream treatments are done, then you can go to wheat-grass-juice camp if you want." (We had a mutual friend who had declined chemo/rads, sought alternative medicine treatments, and died within a year, at the age of 40.)  He said "Can we party, will you come to Atlantic City with me for a weekend?" and we did, midway between my original biopsy (lumpectomy, which didn't get clean margins), and my required mastectomy 6 weeks later.  That was a wonderful, fun weekend.  At one point he said, "I might not know what to do, so please tell me if I'm doing something wrong and what I need to do right."

He didn't come with me to appointments.  He came to the hospital the second night I was there, and helped bring me home.  He kind of went nuts with trying to clean my apartment once I got home -- we're both slobs -- and when I got mad enough to convince him that moving my stuff around was a lot worse for me than disorder, he apologized and backed off, and acted proud of me for getting pissed off!  (Generally, I have a hard time being direct with that!)  He had an event that he really wanted me to come to, 6 days after the surgery -- I did, it was really nice, for me it was very sweet that he wanted me to be present at important things in his life.

But we're all different.  Relationships are all different.  I think you're doing well by being appreciative of what everyone is saying here, including those who suggest perhaps you're pushing too hard!

Wishing you and your girlfriend the best,

Ann

Yeah, probably needless to say, I'm with Chumfry regarding the meaty "clang-g-g-g" noise...

When you got dx'd in Feb, I felt punched in the stomach.  When residual/recurrent was dx'd in Oct, I was raging.  Yesterday -- I felt completely knocked out -- I swear, my body felt like lead and I sat at my desk at work, transcribing dictation while FALLING ASLEEP -- like I really had 2 hours of narcolepsy.  And all I could think was I hope my energy was flowing to you.  Like big SLEEPING elephant sisters could hold you up.  Like I was an electrical system with a "limiter" that sent a rage-too-great into a deep sleep for transformation into a usable steady current of energy.

Love you,

Ann

What a great present!  Happy Birthday!!!!

I'm with you on the Grey Goose martini with the olives, crackers and brie.  Only wish I could be right there in person!

I'm so ready for this slumber party!

Annie, hugs and sleep tight,

Ann

Louspencer, I don't think anyone mentioned taking Lupron to treat infertility.  Lupron is used to TEMPORARILY suppress ovarian function in young women with ER+ breast cancer who hope to regain fertility AFTER treatment.

Hugs to you, Annie -- love, Ann.

Fibrocystic breast disease = "Breast gland tissue build-up or cysts. They can become swollen and painful. They are not cancerous. But some types of fibrocystic changes are associated with an increased risk of breast cancer in the future."  (Definition from "Dictionary" on this site.)

Fibroadenoma = "Fibroadenomas are movable, solid, rounded lumps made up of normal breast cells. While not cancerous, these lumps may grow. And any solid lump that's getting bigger is usually removed to make sure that it's not a cancer. Fibroadenomas are the most common kind of breast mass, especially in young women." (Definition also from this site.)

Hi Stephanie,

I just wanted to add that some clinical trials are based on a protocol of steps to take in response to a patient's responses or lab results.

So, some clinical trials are not about treating everybody "exactly the same," but rather about adjusting treatments according to lab results or patient clinical responses (based on an idea that following these "rules" for adjustments will lead to the best outcomes, and trying to prove that this is true). 

So maybe your course is still valid for the trial, because maybe the trial rules say "if counts below x, no chemo; if no chemo for 3 weeks, stop carboplatin and resume chemo with the other 2 agents."

I think KLynn has a good point about trying to speak to your onc on a day with no benadryl, and asking as many questions as you want about how the decision to stop carbo was made, and if your onc would advise that decision even if you weren't in a trial.

Also, if the trial rules allow you to try to resume carboplatin after "x" weeks of good counts.

I hope you can get the answers from your doc that you need.  I think LuAnn also makes a good point that "the drug did not fail you, which means you can still use it later."

Hugs,

Ann