texrn

Carol - it really hurts when those closest to us still don't get it. even after we spell it out for them!

I told my dh a long time ago to spare me the one-liners, the platitudes, & the pep-talks! I don't need someone lecturing me on what my priorities in life should be, or how I should be looking at things b/c I already know, in my head, how I should be handling things, & he would just be preaching to the choir! Our feelings don't usually have anything to do w/ what's rattling around in our heads, they have to do with what's in our heart, & we can't help or control how we feel. Like Kimberly said - our loved ones can't ever really completely understand what we've gone through -  All they can do is  listen to us & acknowledge how we feel (without lecturing), & then keep on listening to us until we feel better! It took awhile for it to sink in, but I can really sense that he's trying. Nevertheless, it's still comforting to be able to come "home" to this site for an ear to listen & a shoulder to cry on.

Don't worry about the change in topic here - it's like any other relationship or friendship...for better or for worse....we're here for ya!!

Therese 

I am 47 & was in chemical menopause for 9 1/2 months - last cycle was Christmas of last year

 followed by chemo (TC) from end of Dec. to end of Feb....then,  lo & behold, on my birthday this month (10/3) my period returns.  My onc had told my I had a 50/50 chance of permanent menopause - but b/c I am er/pr negative he wasn't too concerned either way. I had a lot of hot flashes during chemo & for 3-4 months afterward, than they stopped abruptly at the beginning of summer. So I'm here to tell you, don't give up hope if you wish for your reproductive system to start working again.

I have a good friend who was dx w/ bc at 31 (stg III), went through surgery, chemo & rads, then waited the requisite 3 years & went on to have 2 beautiful children...who are now 10 & 12 yrs old!

There is definitely NO reason for you to give up hope, especially at your age.

Therese

Kimberly - there is definitely some good thoughts & prayers coming your twinsis' way from Texas! It's comforting to know she has a sister like you to lean on.

LJ13 - I had a case manager after my mastectomy surgery - she called twice over a period of about a month. When she realized I was on the 'right' track, heading towards chemo tx, she signed off. Actually, I didn't feel she was really into her job because her phone calls felt like a waste of time, for both of us.

Carol - I had a strong feeling my 'monthly visitor' was coming because my hot flashes stopped abruptly back in June. My onc had told me that at 46 I had a 50-50 chance of remaining in permanent menopause. With me being triple neg. he wasn't overly concerned with what side of the 50-50 split I ended up on. Oh well - I see my gyn next month for my annual check up...

Paula - sounds like you're busy, busy, busy...How is your dh doing? You both are in my thoughts & prayers.

Like others have mentioned - I read the posts often, it's just finding the time & energy to thoughtfully respond & interact with the group. You all are so chatty & at the same time, articulate, that it's hard to keep up, especially when one skips more than a few days at reading the posts.

With that said, I must be off to run some errands.....

Therese

A quick HELLO to everyone -

Speaking of BC awareness month - tomorrow I am going to a Komen luncheon over at the Fort Worth Convention Center - there is going to be lunch (duh!) & some comedians performing. I am taking my mom as a guest. I am excited - it'll be a nice way to spend my birthday. On the 16th I'll be taking my family to the TCU football game against BYU - it's advertised as the 'Frogs for the Cure' game. Komen is having a Tailgate Party for 'survivors' & their families, catered by a local mexican restaurant, followed by all of us 'survivors' cheering the players on to the field. I am excited - my niece is a sophomore there, so hopefully she'll be able to meet us. The weekend of the 18th (the 1 year anniversary of my diagnosis) is the Dallas County Komen Race. It'll be a family reunion of sorts w/ a lot of my closest female relatives ( both blood related & in-law) flying in. We'll be staying the weekend at a Dallas hotel. Following the race we are all going to the Grand Spa in Dallas to be pampered, followed by dinner at a local 5 star steakhouse.

I know a lot of women who have gone through bc are so tired of how 'pink'  October has become - I happen to feel the opposite. I know I've told you all this before, but Komen's campaign provided a lot of much needed information to those closest to me ( my mom & my oldest daughter). at a very critical time before my diagnosis (1 week before). When it came time for me to break the news to them, they were armed w/ enough information so as not to be too frightened by the news - in fact they both took it very well.  My mom had taken my daughter to a fashion show at the local mall, sponsored by Komen, & subsequently came home w/ a lot of knowledge about bc. Although I had found my lump in mid-September, at that time, noone knew about it except for my husband.

Wow....it seems like a lifetime ago, but it's only been a year...or should I say - it's already been a year!  

By the end of this year I'll have 2 walks under my belt - maybe I'll try for the 3day next year?

Congratulations!!! on everyone's great test results - that goes for all the Jewels who've had glowing reports as well as the ds's & dh's. There is definitely power in numbers when it comes to positive thoughts, prayers, & just plain positive vibes!!

Have an awesome weekend everyone & take care!!!

Therese

Hey all,

Since I'm up in Dallas ( 6-7hours from Houston), & Ike veered right once it made landfall, all we got was a little wind & rain & a very pleasant drop in temperature.

Went last night to see the Eagles in concert...they were awesome! It was an early birthday present from my sister & her dh to me & my dh ( his bday is a day before mine). My bil had bought 8 tickets in the hopes of selling some to make some $, but he decided to treat his wife (my ds) & 6 other family & friends to the concert ( my ds' bday was last week).. Talk about some quality music & entertainment!

Hope everyone is having a loverly weekend.

Therese

Hey everyone,

Just a quick check-in. Been real busy getting the kids back-to-school & all that goes along w that, plus I've been working extra (during the week) at the hospital. Had my NIP surgery a few weeks back on Aug. 27th...so far so good. I only did it b/c I'm an 'all or nothing' type of a person, but when I did the unveiling....Wow! what a difference! I've always been happy w/ my implants, but having the nips visually adds a realistic look to them that I didn't expect. Even though my mastectomy scars are still visible, they practically disappear now that there is something in the middle of each breast. I go some time in Nov. for the tats. Had my first haircut & color a couple of weeks ago, as well - even had some highlights done! Before, when I used to look in the mirror, my hair (or lack thereof) & my foobs were just a reminder of what I tried all day long to forget. Now when I look in the mirror I feel like I'm really & truly back-on-track. As superficial as it might sound, I actually feel "whole" again.

Since there is no way I can catch up on the posts, I've only read the last couple of pages -

Paula - I'm hoping & praying for more  'feel good days' ahead for your dh...& for you (you sure have a lot on your plate!)

Carol - Good luck & Godspeed! on your upcoming 3day race!

D1 - Have tried the warming KY before & let me tell you....quite entertaining. Like Kathy says - hope your mojo comes back before the "joy gel"(LOL!) dries up!

Kimberly - don't know how you teachers do it! I hope the chaos doesn't last too much longer - hang in there! Thanks for keeping up w/ the SP project...don't know when you find the time.

I may not post as often as I'd like, but you all are never far from my thoughts.

Take care,

Therese

Hi All!

Sorry to have been gone so long - between playing "cruise ship director" to my children this summer, occasional small get-a-aways as a family, working, & studying, w/ a few computer problems thrown in, I ended up being out-of-pocket longer than I had planned.

My, you all have been busy!!! Since I'm posting from work I don't have time for individual shout-outs, but, overall, everyone sounds like they're moving right along!

I had my first follow-up appt w/ my onc last Thursday...and all is well. Only had a physical exam & labwork done - but it all looks great & I feel great!! - so I'm good to go for another 4 months/40,000miles until my next follow-up! Next visit he's going to throw in a chest xray ( will have one annually ) with the labwork. I was somewhat anxious about this appt for a few days prior to the actual appt -  but now that I've made it through yet another "first" hurdle, I'm feeling like I'm finally on my way to making it to the "other" side of all this. Yes, I know I have many follow-ups ahead of me, but making through my "first" one feels like a small accomplishment. Like they say, 'it's the little things that matter'.

I'd better get back to work - you all are continually in my thoughts & prayers.

Take care,

Therese

Hi everyone,

A very belated 'Thank You' to my SP - I received a very entertaining book with some very entertaining pictures! & Dove chocolate w/ nuts - my FAVORITE!!!

Also, Kimberly, thank you for the sweet card ( does this mean you are my SP? ).My 'girls' are fluffing out quite nice - I am so thankful to have some kind of discernible shape under my shirts/tanks/etc...Went to V.Secrets a week or so ago ( had rec'd a gift card from my sister for mother's day). I measured in at a respectable 38C - which is exactly where I had planned & hoped to be. It's nice, though, not to have to wear a bra all of the time - especially in this Texas heat!

...speaking of Texas heat - Paula, loved the pictures from your trip. If you ever come back out to the big D, give me a call - I would love to come out & meet you! I'm only about 20-30 minutes southwest of Dallas.

Julie - Wow! seeing your picture of "the sea of pink..." gave me goosebumps - I can imagine what an awesome sight it would have been to have witnessed it in person. Loved your pictures, too!

Carol - when is your 3Day? Sounds like your ready-to-go!

D1- I would love to see some pix of your new 'do'. How long does the wash-in hair color last? Pre-bc I had always had semi-permanent color but I'm not ready to go that route yet - am thinking about trying the wash-in (wash-out?) color. My hair is 'pepper & salt' with just enough 'salt' to make it look slate grey. As thankful as I am to have hair 'at all' it's still kind of disheartening to see my reflection in the mirror because I still don't recognize myself. I'm feeling pretty normal these days & I'm keeping busy enough where I think about bc less & less every day - & when I see my reflection in a window, a mirror, etc.. it's just a reminder of what I try all day to forget..it's like "oh yeah... now I remember".

Well, I'd better go for now - there's a MOUNTAIN of laundry calling my name....

Will shout-out more later!

Therese

Hi JJ's,

Wow, from reading through the posts over the past couple of days y'all have been busy... & chatty!! For the most part, though, that's a good sign - means we're all starting to "get our groove" back.

sheshe - I'm so sorry to hear about your gb attacks - I know when my father had them he was miserable - & le to boot - I'm sure D1 will be a good mentor in that department.

LJ13 - Any news on the PETscan results? I think waiting is one of the hardest part of all this bc bs ( please pardon my French abbreviation)

Julie - Congrats on the dh making the Hall of Fame at school - what an honor!! Hope you're on the mend from your foobie surgery. I'm 2 weeks out from mine & I feel pretty good. They haven't completely fluffed out yet b/c we decided to go a size bigger (600cc) than the expanders (450cc) but the shape has still changed a little from 2 weeks ago. Whether it's narcotic pain meds or OTC pain meds, take whatever it takes to make yourself comfortable. Pain control is a very important part of the healing process.

Kimberly - Wow girl, you really are a goin' Jesse! Tahoe...Sedona, with a little tequila mixed in:D

In regards to propping the foobies up: I did not have to do that after this surgery. I did have to wear the ace wrap around my chest for 48hrs, followed by a sports bra 24/7 for 2 weeks. Even though they haven't fluffed yet, they still are shapin' up real nice.

As far as working out goes - my ps banned me from working out until the first of June. She had to release some scar tissue on the inside of my left foob, requiring her to score the tissue like a grid - this takes a little longer to heal, so to avoid the risk of bleeding & developing a hematoma, she doesn't want me doing anything that raises my hr/bp...and just when I was starting to get in a nice, consistent workout routine...I know, all for the best.

Patty - 1/2 way through rads...good for you!! Hope Denise is on the mend, physically, from her AND surgery - sorry to hear about the positive node, though. My prayers remain with both of you for the strength to endure. It must be hard to watch someone you love have to endure what you've been struggling throughyourself.

D1 - you, my friend, have been one busy beaver! Front yard work... hooking up computers...scouring & scrubbing...those are all of the things I need to do around here! Since I can't do too many strenuous things until the first of June, I'll just have to live vicariously through you. Are "we" taking the day off today, b/c "I am" pretty tired after all that work.

My oldest dd turns 12 today - I can't imagine her driving, but I guess we're just a hop-skip-&-a jump away from having the "car discussion". They do grow up fast.

Tina - Hope the surgery went well - did you have to spend the night?

It's definitely a quicker recovery, then after the mastectomy. I wish I had caught up on all my outdoor yardwork before my surgery - good for you!

Hope you & the dh have a nice, relaxing getaway...what a way to recoup!

Carol - Did you get a chance to watch AI? I so want David C. to win - I just don't think the other David is mature enough, emotionally speaking & talent-wise.

WVgirl - How long did they say chemo brain can linger? For me, I think, either chemo brain has effected my ability to multi-task like I used to, or bc itself has affected my desire to multi-task like I used to pre-bc - it's probably a little of both, but mostly the latter. I feel like it's not just the physiological aspects of chemo that effects our brains, but the mental & emotional effects of bc itself...that's just my theory based only on what I've experienced so far.

KathyL - Sounds like your new job is a good fit all around? You've definitely got some celebrating to do w/ the dh back home & a "first" paycheck coming down the pike!!

Well, I'm off to go pick up the dd's birthday cake...oops, I mean birthday cookie!

Have a great day everyone,

Therese

Jan - the internet is a wonderful tool, isn't it? On top of Valium for the muscle spasms & tightness, my ps had me do massages around each expander every day, along w/ exercises pushing them together & pushing them down towards my feet, at least twice a day. By the time I had my exchange, I was almost 6 months with the expanders. Aside from the odd shape  & the hardness ( felt like coconuts in my chest ), I was pretty  comfortable with them - the pain & muscle tightness dissipated after the first month or so. The last couple of months before my exchange, they really relaxed & actually looked more like breasts. The implant exchange surgery is nothing like the expander placement surgery - no muscle tightness or pain, since the tissue& muscles are already stretched - plus they are nice & soft. There is some swelling, & they are riding kind of high for now, plus I'm having to wear a surgical/sports bra 24/7 for a couple of weeks, but all in all, I'm feeling pretty good. My ps says they will drop into place & "fluff" out in 3-4 weeks. I know some women have drains after this surgery, but luckily, not me.

Thought I'd share what things looked & felt like at this end of the tunnel.

Therese