Dansmom

I finished my radiation treatment in mid-May, started Arimidex, switched to Aromosin because of the side effects.  Still having side effects but not as bad.  And I am definately having depression - times of sadness, sudden tearing up.  I think it's not the medication - it's the reality of having cancer & all I've been through still workign it's way out.  Somewhere I read that 25% of cancer patients have depression afterwards.  I'm taking anti-depressants, seeing a psychiatrist once a month, trying to hang in there .

We've been through a lot!  The psychiatrist says the common wisdom is that it takes a year after a major life event to get back on your feet.

It's been a month since I finished treatment.  I'm on Arimidex and I'm starting to have achy stiff hands - and it's sinking in that even though it's "behind me" it's not behind me.  Meanwhile it just doesn't feel right to be sad or let people know that I'm still coping.  I've been seeing a psychiatrist once a month and it's wonderful to be able to go in there and just talk about how I'm doing without worrying about whether it's right or not.  She's also helping me figure out about medication.  My insurance barely covers it, but it's worth it to me.  There are all these reminders - especially now with my hands aching - it keeps reminding me and I still can't believe it!  Five months since my diagnosis and in many ways I'm as shocked as ever that this did happen and is happening.

My pain and fatigue after surgery went on for several weeks. I kept telling myself to be gentle with myself and try to be patient.

 I've been on Arimidex for 3 months now.  I felt spaced out, had trouble sleepign the first few days, then nothing.  More recently I've had achy/crampy hands but aspirin or Advil really help.  It's worse at night or first thing in the mornign so I've been taking advil before bed.

For me there has been this wierd feeling like I should not have been so stressed out about it - now that I'm done it feels like I was over=reacting (which I hate doing!).  But, I keep reminding myself that cancer sucks no matter how lucky you are.  And whatever you are feeling is what you are feeling!

I finished 2 weeks ago - still sooo tired - is anyone else still dragging?  I've done a couple of yoga classes, but just can't bring myself to do any exercise.

I was in your shoes 3 months ago.  It really is the worst time.  Some things that helped me -

some women want to know every single thing about the disease, their options, the future.  some (like me) just wanted to do what the dr. said to do - no questions asked.  Figure out which you are - they are both OK.

A friend told me the Buddhists have a saying - "live this like all other experiences."

In the middle of all of this you can feel lucky - maybe it's early, maybe you have health insurance, maybe your friend has a brain tumor, maybe ...  whatever.  You can be lucky and it still sucks!

If you talk to people you may find - as I did that everyone has their own story - themselves, mother, sister, friend, neighbor.  Often their reaction has more to do with their story than with you.  That's just the nature of things.

It's OK to tell people, "I really don't want to talk about it right now."

If you can exercise - walk, yoga (very helpful to me), whatever, it helps.

I found that the people I usually go to for support (husband, sisters) were the very ones who I didn't want to scare or have them know how afraid I was.  I saw a counselor once a month (and will continue for a few more) - it was great to have a place where I don't know her story, don't have to worry about what she thinks - it's all about me. 

Five days since my last treatment - thought I was starting to feel better, but not sure.  At least I am not feeling worse.  The fatigue is really impressive!

Still doesn't feel like I'm done.  My skin is so wierd, my breast is so hard and  still a little achy and I am so so tired.

But, not feeling worse - first time in weeks and weeks that today is not worse than yesterday.  That's a good sign for sure! 

Think what this is like for people without heatlh insurance.  Remember that when you vote in november!

I swear by cornstarch.  My energy is GONE.  I told the doc I felt like I'd been hit by a truck & he was surprised.  But the technicians weren't!