kimmie0371

I lit a candle as well and may it still be burning bright even after it goes out after the 48 hours of burning it will be relit as long as needed.

Kimmie0371

Honey girl-I lost my best friend of 15 years when I divorced my last husband and married the love of my life not soon after the divorce-some true friend -i knw how you feel -but always remember that you have all of us here on this site and that we will never leave you in time of need or any other time for that fact-i married the man that i have been in love with since i was 16 years old finally and our oldest daughter is now 18 and she does not completely understand why he stayed away for so long but that is another story in itself but we will leave that for another day and anoher conversation-but always know that you have real friends here that you can talk to at anytime of the day or whenever you are feeling like you need too dont ever forget that. They are always telling me to try and stay positive and its hard too sometimes since I have a negative attitude about this whole entire bc thing right now but trust in us and this site and you will make it just fine and be alright.

kimmie0371

I know that i am late in posting this to you but my mom was diagnosed at a very ealy age and then kept it to herself for a very long time until we all started asking her alot of questions becauseof the changes that we were noticing about her-her hair lose-the weight lose and all of hte meds that she was taking-I lost my mother to bc at the age of 51 and that was in 96 I am 36 years old and this is myse cond battle with it-it has spread to my chest wall and I am doing and going through some rapid chemo treatments that are making me so sick that I can barely get out of bed because if I do I feel like I am going to throw up all of the time-please be patient and come as often as you can to this site for the support that you need because we have all been through it or are going throug it now and we will support you in any way that we can.

kimmie0371

Candie-I do have a great husband but right now he is really sick with the flu and has an open nerve in in mouth where his tooth got knocked out a long time ago so he is in alot of pain at this time right now too-I cant help him because he wont let me-he wants me to rest and I am chatting with my new friends-I told him about this website the other day when he came home from work and he was so excited for me to finally have someone to talk to who really understands Yes i have beaten this once but hte chemo is cilling me-I am loosing my hair almost everyday my oldest daughter will sit in the bathroom with me while i take a bath and wash my hair for me because she knows that it is falling and fast and she pulls it out by the hand fulls and just crys with me because she is seeing the changes and knows that I cn't do anythig with my hair because it is so brittle that all I can do is try to put on make up and where a bandana and a ball cap and sun glasses if you come across a pink bandana will you send it to me the next time you get back to me i will give you my address and numbers if you like-thanksf or the kind workds and I am hoping that this website and my new friends can help me see the light and make me have faith again because it is not right for my new husband to enough faith for the both of us and my children are worth living for

kimmie0371

g-i will keep her in my thoughts and my prayers

kimmie0371

My name is Kim and I am new to the site-I have already posted some comments but i would like to share a few things as well- I have 3 beautiful children 2 teenage girls and little boy who is 7. I am recently married to the love of my life since I was 16 years old and have been married to him since February 8th of 2008-yeah I know we have been apart for a long time and its about time we finally tied the knot so to speak-it took us long enough-we went our own ways and did our own things got married to other people-had other children and the 18 year old teenager is his and he has not been in her ife until just recently-aactually since September of 2007-I was diagnosed with bc in 2000 I took all of the chemo treatments went through radiation lost my hair and alot of weight to boot and beat it i had been cancer free until about 3 months ago-they found it in both breasts and my chests my lymph nodes under my left arm and in the nodes in my pelvic region-I am now going through rapid chemo treatments and being sick all of the time throwing up and not being able to eat or drink anything half of the time because it makes me so sick-It is alot worse this time then the last-i have a new husband who is great and will and does anything in the word for me-he takes care of me and i feel that i am not being a very good wife because isnt a wife suppose to take care of her husband as well-there are days after my chemo treatments that i cant get even get out of bed to even take my kids to school and there are days that I am so sick that if I do even try to get out of bed i start throwing up constantly-I a starting to loose my hair and am now wearing pink bandanas and my pink colts hat to show to everyone that I have bc and it has spread to other places-I have lost my faith right now and my husband holds me every night like it is going to be the last night we will have together and he says he has enogh faith for the both of us and i am sure that he does he is catholic and me on the other hand i am baptist and dont have alot of faith right now-my children except for my son knows what is going on and I dont want to scare my son half to death and him thinking that mommy is going to die-my oncologists thinks that I may not make it out of this one Once the rapid chemo is over then I will have to start radiation and then I am not so sure that I want to follow through with the radiation-I dont want to go back through radiation-it is just as rough as chemo and I have alot of people who love me and support me-my husband is the greatest person you will ever meet in my eyes and he is not going to loose me know not after being apart for 15 years and then finally gettin our lives together with one another-he is a race car driver and lives and breathes it during the summer and spring months-it is incoded into his DNA and he is giving all of that up because he told his racing team that his wife is more important than that damn race team or race car-she needs me right now and I will not leave her now that is a man who is  willing to give up something that he has been doig since he was 15 years old-now that is a husband-I am not askig him to give up anything-I want him to go on with his normal day life and not give up racing because I enjoy it too-it is just hard to see him hit the wall and crash sometimes but that is all part of racing-my husband is not giving up on me and he is not willing to let me give up on life as well-my husband is a fighter he fights for the fun of it just because he is good at it-but he has never has to fight for live not to live anyway this is something he cant see to fight or havee control over because he cant see it-it pisses him off but it just gives him all the more reason to fight even harder because he cant see it to fight it just what the doctor says and what has to be done-my sister got wind of me having bc and came over and saw me for the first timein 3 years. She asked if there was anythig she could do and she is coming over this weekend to help pay a few of the bills that are behind because I got fired from my job due to the fact that I had chemo treatments and they make me sick and I cant work when they want me to. Kenny, my husband is the soul provider in this family now and we now have no health isurance which makes it worse-Lindsey our oldest daughter is scared to that she is going to loose her mother and Emily the daughter that is 14 almost 15 going on 26 so she thinks is the mother hen of them all and helps take care of the younger ones when I cant get out of bed-she is a great kid and I would be lost without them-having bc is GODS punishment for me I think for all of the mistakes that i have made in my life I am not rich i am just as poor as the next person I have a great husband and children and lots of support from them-i dont have alot of friends as a matter of fact my husband and my daughters are my friends and I have one best friend and her name is Jamie and boy is she a fighter-when we first got the news she cried with me for days on end and then she said that we are going to beat this and you are just goig tohav to get mad and get real angry and fight with all your might-she is right-i have alot to live for and i dont want to loose this battle-she is the best friend that anyone could ever have in cases like this-I love her so much and i cant show her because she is dealing with issues of her own right now and dont need to be bothered with mine-not that she would mind but I am trying to be respectful and lean on my husband with all of this-I will beat this i have to beat this for my children, my step children-my friend and for my family and for my husband or for the rest of bc survivors out there who have survied worse and who have had it worse than me, thanks for allowing me talk on this site and hopefully i will hear from some of you all real soon

kimmie0371 

CAACLARK-they are right you know short hair, long hair or no hair we are always still going to be beautiful no matter how we look on the outside it is a little hard to get used to that is why i wear ball caps and bandanas (pink of course) but we are all beautiful in our own way and when your children can tell you that and that they love you anyway that gives you all the reason in the world to fight back and win this battle against this disease that seems to take so much of our time away from our children, family and friends, I lthink you are a beautiful person no matter whether you have hair or not kimmie0371

Karen 51-thanks for shring your story-I just joined the site today myself-it is very theraputic to be able to talk to someone who is going and has gone through the same thing that alot of us women are going through-strength is a woman's most prize posession and dont ever let anyone tell you different-we are all alike in some ways and then so different in many others but the one thing that we all have in common is inner strength-keep in touch and keep to the site for support if you need it there are alot of us here who need the same support that you do kimmie0371

I have beaten bc once and have been in remission for 7 years and now it is back with vengence and i am doing rapid chemo treatments and then radiation-it is also in my lymph nodes all the way down to my pelvic region and I have had a complete hysterectomy at the age of 28-I am now 36 and have 3 beautiful children and 2 of them are teenagers and one is 7 and he does not understand the changes. I hope and wish you all the best of luck in your recovery and if there is anything I can say or do please let me know i will keep reading and looking for your comments-whoever came up with the site for women like us is a wonderful person and I just wish that i could chat with you personally

Be as positive as you can-it sounds like she is as positive as she can be at this time in her life-books and magazines are ok-but what she really needs is prayer and support from family and friends-dont ask alot of questions if she wants to talk let her spark up the conversation-she will want to talk but always ask how things are going-if her little boy is as active as you say and seems in the picture once she starts her chemo treatments she is going to need family and friends to help with him because he is not going to understand why mommy is so sick-she will need support and someone who will truly have all the faith that once she starts her chemo she will say that it makes her so sick she doesnt want to do it any more. Tell her it is for her little boy and she will finish her treatments as directed. I am a survivor and now have it again in both breasts and chest and going through rapid chemo and then radiation so if there is anything I can say or do let me know and i will help in anyway that i can because i have already been down this bumpy road and believe me when i tell you it always gets worse before it gets better. Is she a single mom? Does she have a husband or boyfriend ? Family and you sound like a great friend. You may want to take a small vacation and go and see her since you live a few states away to stay with her when she has about her 2-3 treatment and help out with her son she will be sick and she will start to loose her hair and she will not be the same person for awhile she has to stay positive and she will need positive people around her and you sound like just what she needs anything i can do? kimmie0371