Profile for jkrejchik

Member Since: April 30, 2008
Last Login: August 28, 2008
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Diagnosis

Recent Posts by jkrejchik

Posted in: Support & Community Connections + For Family & Friends of Those Who Have Breast Cancer, Created: May 7, 2008 03:11 pm

Mother-in-law Newly Diagnosed

Hi Deb!

Good to hear from you again! Pretty much everything is still the same with my MIL. She's still in the same stage of her process which makes it kind of awkward for us because we don't know what the next phase is for her emotionally or treatment for the cancer. Everything is still up in the air. My FIL is sick with the flu so he's been down for the count for the past 3 days (he's one of her main supports) and on top of it we are farmers and my husband has had to start all the field work himself on top of working part-time and taking care of our 9 month old. Holy crap this is life changing! She's in a mode now where she seems almost helpless and can't (or won't) do normal things on her own (ie - getting her hair done in town). Is that normal?

Believe me - we have done our share or mourning as well, but we've tried to do it between the two of us mainly to be a strong force for my MIL (although I did shed some tears with her when she was talking to me last weekend).

I'd love to send you a PM! What is it?? :) Sorry I'm not very hip on lingo! OOOOOHHHHHH I just got it! A PRIVATE MESSAGE! See I can figure things out when I put my mind to it! :)

If you'd like, you can e-mail my rather than going through this site. I wasn't really looking to respond to too many people because of being computer challenged and my busy schedule doesn't really allow me to be on the computer a lot. My e-mail address is jkrejchik@yahoo.com.

I don't think my info tells you much about me. I live in Portage, WI, but I'm originally from Milwaukee, WI. I'm 35 years old and have 3 kids ages 18, 17, and 9 months old. (Yes I was a yound mom). I work as a pediatric dental assistant in Madison.

Thank you so much for responding to my postings. I really just needed to bounce things off of someone who has been through this and could give me some emotional support and it looks like I struck gold! Thank you again!

Talk to you soon!

Jen

Posted in: Support & Community Connections + For Family & Friends of Those Who Have Breast Cancer, Created: May 6, 2008 03:01 pm

Mother-in-law Newly Diagnosed

Deb,

Thank you so much for your thoughtful information. I apologize in taking so long to respond to you. I don't have a computer at home and usually only check things on the computer at work. I did share your response with my husband and we both decided to take your advice and back off and let her come to us in her own time. She has started to open up a little here and there and I've just tried to listen and let her talk and cry (without trying to cry too much myself!). She did make the decision this Saturday to have a double mastectomy because some of her test results came back suspicious on the other side. Awkwardly enough, she seems relieved in making this decision and at starting the process of grieving the eminent loss of her breasts. I just let her know that we would be there for her even if it was to pick up something from the grocery store. She did admit that she has a hard time asking for help but that she knew eventually she would have to because she can't do it alone. I found out the same day that my sister has an informal diagnosis for cervical cancer so we'll see how that pans out. Thanks for listening. I 'll talk to you soon!

Jen

Posted in: Support & Community Connections + For Family & Friends of Those Who Have Breast Cancer, Created: Apr 30, 2008 03:00 pm

Mother-in-law Newly Diagnosed

My mother-in-law was just diagnosed with bilateral breast cancer on April 25, 2008. We suspected the lumps in her breasts were going to be cancerous for about a month now and ever since her first doctor's appointment she has been very withdrawn from the entire family and has commented that she can "beat this on her own and won't need any help from anyone". She had 2 aunts that passed away from breast cancer years ago so she feels she needs to start "preparing" for her own death because of her confirmed diagnosis. My husband and I want to help but are unsure how. We don't want to offend her in any way and it seems when we offer to do everyday things with her she refuses very flatly and with a lot of fatigue in her voice. I feel so bad and want to help her, but I don't want be in her face about it and I don't want to not say anything to her either and pretend that everything is normal and ok. Any suggestions how we can help her emotionally or otherwise? She refuses to go to a support group and will only let my sister-in-law take her to her doctor appointments. I have never had anyone close to me with cancer before so any input would be appreciated.

Thanks!

Jen