DLY

Hi everyone. I just found this website when I was searching the side affects about tomoxfin. I just turned to 39. My daughter is 12. I was diagnosed in Sep07. Followed by surgery, chemo, and now I am on radiation and on pills as well. I have been through a lot last year. My life just got settled, two car accidents within four months totally destroyed my health and life, not recovered from the indjury yet, been diagnosed breast cancer stage IV. I prefer not knowing too much about my cancer. Previous indjuries make it harder for me to go through my treatments. even two weeks ago wanted give up the raditions because of lots of pain on my neck, back and shoulders. I even thought couple of times to end my life because of those pains. Just imagine what kind of life is it. each movement with pain. I am out of shape because of the pain. I had been very angry after the diagnosis. I have no family history, no bad habbit, always be very nice to people around, help others whenever i could. why all of these happened to me?Now the only thing i can do is just accept it. I am really exhausted about what to eat because my homo test was positive. If someone knows, I would appreciate  your sending me email at d_leeian@hotmail.com.

I know it is very hard for us with young kids. I know if you have your family around will be great. My husband is around. However I would rather he is not here. He does not speak english, he spends time playing online games, reading chinese novels rather than learning english. he does help me with housework since he stays at home every day. Other than that. You can not expect him anything else. I keep asking myself if this what I want. Is this the husband I want. I can not remember if he ever ask me what doctor said or what is going on with my treatment. He has never collect any information to help me go through the treatments. When he went to the hospital with me, he never asked me what the doctor said. He just read his novels. when my nails turned blue, he asked me what happened to my nails. I just know when I was in the emerge, he was the last person I wanted to see. I don't know what should I do now.