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Last Login: October 21, 2008
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Posted in:
Support & Community Connections + Lesbians with Breast Cancer, Created: Oct 4, 2008 11:15 pm
How long is a normal chemo session?Oh wow. First, I have to say, hang in there. My partner's course of treatment started with the bilateral mastectomy and then chemo. She's chose TAC which consisted of 6 total treatments, 3 weeks apart starting on 7/3. Her last treatment will be on 10/15. With each one, she did get a little more fatigued, and right now, she's pretty whipped. But, since she is coming up on the last one, we have hope that the battle is almost over. My partner was diagnosed with stage IIB IDC. I agree with Val, ask ask ask questions of everyone. Also, one day at a time is the only way to do this. I do not believe that I have ever been this scared in my life, and I'm not the one going through it. Understand that scared is normal, and find all the support you can. Take care, Kath |
Posted in:
Support & Community Connections + Lesbians with Breast Cancer, Created: Sep 13, 2008 02:00 am
CaretakerVal, Wow, what a parallel. Between my partner's surgery and her chemo, we had the absolute pleasure of attending her daughter's wedding. She debated whether the chemo should start first, but, in hindsight, she was right in waiting. She is now four of six treatments in and it would have been hard on her to make the trip, given what we know now about chemo. The fact that we have these wonderful things in our lives at the same time that we are dealing with cancer absolutely amazes me. I hang onto the good stuff and it gives me hope for the future. Hang in there. Stubs |
Posted in:
Support & Community Connections + Lesbians with Breast Cancer, Created: Aug 10, 2008 12:32 am
CaretakerYes, the pathology of my partner's cancer was positive. Her stage was IIB and she only had two positive lymph nodes on the right side. None on the left. Thank you for reminding me that there is a good prognosis. My heart does go out to you and your family. It's just us two, and I am tapped out most of the time. My partner has four kids but the youngest is 24, so they are all pretty self sufficient. Your use of the phrase "new normal" homes in on exactly what I am struggling with right now. It's the idea, well, reality, that this is our new normal. I am constantly staggered by the thought that every check up from now on will be nerve wracking and that every nap she takes will scare the heck out of me. I hear from your post that it is possible to adjust and to make peace with this new normal. I take hope from that. I used to do some estate work, and the idea that we all will pass at some point was very abstract to me. A breast cancer diagnosis certainly takes all the abstract away from that concept. As for the biggest thought of possibly going on without my partner, I do also take hope from something I read not long ago about how medicine continues to make advances in this area, and how, with each passing day, the chances of survival increase. Along with having to find a place for cancer in our lives, I hang onto this thought to help make the future be a not so scary place. |
Posted in:
Support & Community Connections + Lesbians with Breast Cancer, Created: Aug 8, 2008 11:29 pm
CaretakerHey xxjenxx, Gosh, my best wishes go out to you and your partner....I can only imagine what you two are experiencing. My partner and I are going on 3 years, but, for the first time in my life, I've found my life mate. My life without her is unimagineable so I don't even go there. I completely understand the dichotomy of being strong when my partner needs it and falling apart when she is strong. Which, given my partner's nature, means that I fall apart (in private) a lot. Then, I start to worry about the future, and I almost become paralyzed. But, since I am the main financial support (with a compassionate employer who has partner health insurance benefits), I don't have the luxury of falling apart too much or for too long. Since I'm in the Denver metro area, I would have expected a lesbian support group. I've been looking since April with no success. You both hang in there, and what are the resources in your area? StubMac |
Posted in:
Support & Community Connections + Lesbians with Breast Cancer, Created: Aug 8, 2008 11:19 pm
CaretakerThanks so much for your reply, Amy. It is an incredibly tough journey for both. I know the importance of support for the first time in my life. |
Posted in:
Support & Community Connections + Lesbians with Breast Cancer, Created: Aug 4, 2008 10:35 pm
CaretakerMy life partner was diagnosed with invasive ductal cancer on 4/16. She had a double mascectomy on 5/12, and the good news is that it was just in her right breast (modified radical on that side with simple mascectomy on the left). She's had two chemo treatments since then, and there are four more scheduled. I'm finding it harder and harder to function in everyday life. My partner was the rock at home, and I'm scared of how weak she is during the chemo. I have been to all the appointments and will continue to go when I can, but I can't attend the next chemo on 8/14 due to work concerns. It freaks me out not to be there, but we have supportive friends who can be there. I want to cover all the bases but, as time goes on, I realize that I cannot do that. I keep looking for a suport group for lesbian caretakers in my metropolitan area, but there don't seem to be any. I have found a therapist but have only gone twice to date. I would appreciate any words of wisdom from spouses in a similar position about how to manage everything. |
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