gladiola

hi wishiwere,

Thanks so much for your input.  My mom is 63, my dad is 70.  I do get the feeling that my parents feel as if doctors and their decisions are not to be questioned.  I know, though, that they do have many questions that they don't ask.  Often, one of us (my siblings or I) will ask a question and find out later that it was something that my mom had been stressing over but didn't have the nerve to ask.  Like you, statistics are something none of us want to talk about.

My mom is being treated at a Cancer Center at a University Hospital.  In general, we have heard good things about the hospital. 

My mom has been feeling very good lately - her bone pain is almost gone and her appetite is back.  I was feeling good until I found out that my friend's sister (who is being treated at the same facility and also has breast cancer that spread to her liver and bone) is being bombarded with chemo and is terribly sick from it.  She is not post-menoapausal like my mom and she is HER2.  I guess I was trying to understand if these differences explained why the 2 treatment plans are so different.

Did you ever go for a second opinion?  Is that something that is we should have done?

I wish you all the best too. 

Hi, I am new to this site.  My mother was diagnosed about 6 weeks ago.  Her cancer is ER+/PR- HER2 positive.  She is 63 and post-menopausal.  Her cancer has spread to her liver and her bones so I assume that is Stage IV.  She was started on Femara, Herceptin and Zometa - initially supposed to be every 3 weeks, but she had a reaction at the first infusion so they are giving her just one drug at a time.  She got Herceptin again last week and will get Zometa at her next visit in 2 weeks.

I had a few questions:  Is this standard therapy for post-menopausal women?  Why are they not considering chemotherapy?  I worry that they are taking this approach because they think her prognosis is not good.

There are a lot of details that we have not asked the oncologist because I don't think my mom and dad want to know.  They seem to trust the doctor and don't ask any questions.  What I have written is pretty much all we know.  Should we (her children) be asking or should we just let things be?  Do we have a right to know if she doesn't want to know?

We are overwhelmed and confused.