gmakidd

Nights are the worst time for me, I think its because I am alone. I am divorced and I think it would be nice to feel a warm body next to me just to feel someone alive.  

The only way I can sleep is to exhaust myself. So I stay in school full time and work full time. I am looking ahead to the future as they say on the Cancer pages. Its hard to do that at night.

Anyway, had my second round of chemo today, and I am bald. I wish my darn brows would fall out. I am afraid to have them waxed because if they all fell out when the little girl pulled off the tape I am afraid she would drop dead (lol). Oh yes, I stayed awake worrying over that too.

Thank you for creating this place whoever did. I feel so good reading your posts. You give me hope that one of these days my life will get back to "normal" as crazy as that is.

gmakidd

To all,

I have spent 26 years in the military and have been all over the world. I am known for my "nerves of steel". Let me tell you what, when I want to cry I find a quiet spot and cry! Its my right. If people don't like it they can bite me. (Sorry for the term).

Someone told me the other day that I was an inspiration. Please...I have bills to pay like everyone else. What am I supposed to do, fold? Anyway, if you ladies want to have fun, you go girls! As for me I can't sit and ponder BC all the time. This is my time and I will take it as such.

The most helpful thing I have for dealing with this is a little framed verse I got at a thrift store years ago. Recently, I found it in a box and hung it on my wall at home. When I feel overwhelmed I sit and stare at it "Be still, and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10).

Oh and by the way, if one more person tells me things happen for a reason, I will choke them. God is not punishing me, BC is a act of nature.

We will all hurt but we will get through this. Thank you all for this board and your posting. It is a Godsend to me.

FYI, my oldest sister just found a lump, here doctor is not please with the needle biopsy and is is going to perform a surgical one.

Please keep her in your thoughts.

Gmakidd.

Please tell me you are getting a 2nd opinion before you tear your body apart.

I may get flamed for posting this but these tests are not all conclusive, they are an indicator of what may happen!

The National Cancer Institute stress in bold letters that not all women who test positive on the gene will get cancer. http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/risk/brca. Please read what they wrote.

Just my opinion.

Sorry, I have been to a few doctors and am very frustrated. He said seven weeks of rad. I start chemo on the 13th of this month. Good luck Brabbit!

I am a practicing Catholic. However, I want to pass on something my gpa told me. It does not mattr if you believe in God or not, live your life as a good person and that way when you die, if there is, you will be okay, if there is not, who cares.  (I am sure he got it from someone else).

As a Catholic, I cannot believe that any deity would have anything to do with giving someone this one purpose!

Please believe as you choose but believe in yourself most of all!

And is one more idiot tells me that my BC happened for a reason, I am going to be in confession for a long time!

thedudess please accept my best wishes for a speedy recovery!

gmakidd

Rosanne,

I am very sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I really hope all goes well. I am fortunate to have a sister who has stuck to me like glue. She asks the questions I forget to ask.

I am very lucky, the cancer did not spread. They were able to get most of it via surgery. I have to go to the radiologist to find out what else needs to be done.

I can tell you what has helped me the most. A few posts back BunnyRabbit mentioned taking her youngest to college. It sounds odd but I was jealous that she had children to deal with where as mine are grown. So I kicked myself in the rear, got out of the self-pitying depression I had fallen into and found new ways to bug my kids!

Seriously though, I had to realize that the world keeps going and I should too. Its hard adn I still give myself time to cry once in a while. But then the phone rings and my daughter tells me she has not power but they survivied Hurricane Gustav okay. Another grey hair!

Please post often. This board was and is a godsend to me.

Gmakidd

Good news,

Went to the surgeon for a follow up and the cancer has not spread to the lymphnodes. However, they do want to take more tissues from the breast but I am good with that.

Still need to see the Radiology Folks etc, but hopefully it will not be as bad as my imagination made it.

Thanks for all your words of support and have a good one.  

Got out of surgery a couple of hours ago. Waiting on test results. He think he got it all but wont know for sure till then.

Good Bless Bunny, hang in there girl!

Went to see the surgeon, surgery is scheduled Tuesday in the afternoon. Then the wait for the results. Thank all of you for the ear and I will keep you posted if just to get it out of my system.

I thank God I found this forum, now I don't feel so alone.

Gmakidd