CristlC

I agree... bad enough to go through all this and have to LOOK sick.  For all they know my cancer is gone and I felt fine.  Now the chemo is making me tired and grouchy and now just waiting and waiting to lose the hair and then wait and wait for it to grow back.  I am just in a bummer mood today knowing my hair is about to fall out.

Thanks Wish and Springtime for the responses.  The anticipation of all this has me going in circles.  Waiting on the bi-lateral was hard, waiting on chemo and waiting on the hair.  UGH!  Now I am more concerned with my hair than my foobs.  I have only gotten expanded twice since my surgery on Sept 16th.  Many are done by now.  But I figure I can't have the surgery until Chemo is done so why rush the process.

I have prepared for the hair loss... I think.  I have FOUR wigs ready.  My hairdresser bought me a human hair wig that looks pretty darn good.  I just don't want to be bald underneath.  Then I went and bought 3 since insurance paid for them and they are pretty good too.  One crazy one but the others look like my hair for the most part (although better I think - BUT I want my own hair).  I did buy one sleep cap but wasn't too sure what I would like.

I am not married but have a serious boyfriend.  I stay with him almost every night.  He is so supportive and trys to tell me the baldness won't bother him.  What man wants to sleep with someone who is bald and boobless.  I know it will all pass and things will return to some sort of normal.  I keep telling myself the final version of my boobs will probably look better than the originals and my hair will grow back.

Ok, thanks for letting me rant.  I hope everyone's hair grows back beautiful!

I am sitting here reading (should be working) and just going nuts.  It is day 12 for me after my first treatment.  I am goign weekly and my third will be tomorrow.  I am just in this waiting game for my hair to go.  I am just miserable thinking about it.  I keep telling myself that it is only hair and will grow back but right now it isn't helping.  Strand here and strand there.  I have very fine, thin hair already.  How did you all deal with the anxiety of this waiting?

Boscoe,

Just hoping everything goes smoothly... sending positive thoughts your way!

Cristl

Hi Ladies,

I was away from my computer over the weekend.  Last time I posted I had about 2-3 hours of sleep.  I have gotten more sleep and actually had a very good weekend.  I actually went to a bday dinner, wedding out of town and enjoyed it all.  I was tired, I was achy, etc. but I thought that I am not going to let this stuff take away precious times with family and friends.  There will be times it will (and it has) however I am going to fight it too.  I felt pretty good this morning but now am tired after a full day at the office.

On the sleep front.... I have an appt with the psychologist that happens to be an expert with sleep disorders.  My Onc office set it up after me telling them how tired I am.  I have never been a good sleeper so I am actually kind of excited about this appt.  HA!

I am so anxious about my freaking hair right now.  They told me it would start coming out this week and next.  I had 3 inches cut off on Friday hoping that would help a little.  I have my wig ready to go... but I don't want to be bald.  I know it is coming but it still isn't any fun.  The anticipation of each step is one of the hardest things.

BUT I ate good food this weekend, drank good wine, drank some cold beers, listened to live music, laughed, danced and spent time with people important to me.  Those times are what this fight is for I guess, well I know.

I will post tomorrow after getting some information about the sleep problems.

Take care, Cristl

I am suppose to start losing my hair next week and am pertrified.  I got 3 inches cut off today at lunch hoping this might help with the emotional side of things.  I have a beautiful wig my hairdresser ordered, paid for and has styled waiting for me... but still!!!!  Scary!  I have already bought the Nioxin products.  Did you start using them after your hair fell out???  I have 12 weeks of weekly treatments.  Two down, 10 to go

I am still lurking.  I had my bi-lateral mastectomy on Sept 16th and had expanders put in.  I thought I was just doing this for DCIS but my pathology came back with a very small tumor of IDC.  So now I have started chemo and Herceptin.  So, all that news floored me and I waited a while to start my "fills" since the chemo will slow down that process anyway.  During my surgery they had put in 250cc's in each.  I have now had 2 fills at 60cc's each.  She said they would probably take me to 600 so I am just taking this slowly to avoid any additional pain.  So far it dosen't hurt me in the least.  Just some tightness but not any more than usual.  I will be so glad to get these hard expanders out of my body!!

Hi All,

I had my second chemo yesterday.  It went smoother than the first and I didn't have any reaction to the Taxol.  They did take this only slowly again since I had the reaction the first time.  I started at 10am and left around 2:30.  Then I went over and had my second "fill" into my expanders.  The no sleep is what is killing me.  I slept for 2 hours last night and that was it.  I even stayed awake through 10mg of ambien! Now I am at work trying to get stuff done.  I finally felt back to myself yesterday and it all came back again.  I am grouchy too but probably from lack of sleep.  The ladies at the infusion area are so nice and I LOVE my nurse practitioner.  I can't imagine being somewhere else.  Well, they told me to expect "shedding" next week (which I think it is starting) and then clumps the following week just in time for thanksgiving.  I have my beautiful wig from my hairdresser waiting.  When it happens he said he will stay after hours, buzz it and put my wig on.

Glad to have you all to share this with.  Love, Cristl

My mom died at 38 from breast cancer and now I have been dx at 37 with early breast cancer.  I just had a bi-lateral and getting ready for chemo.  BUT I also believe there is some gene mutation my family must have.  I tested negative for BRCA 1 and 2; however, I had breast cancer.  My mom had breast cancer, my aunt had breast cancer, uncle had leukemia, grandfather had panceatic cancer and my father has kidney cancer.  There has to be some link.  Just my 2cents.

Hi Carol,  I just started last week and it is good to at least have the first one behind me.  Now I am scared of losing my hair.  I can't believe it is happening.  But we can't finish until we start, right?  Now at least I am on my way to counting it down and so will you.  I had my port put in my arm last week.  I am going weekly and my next one is this Thursday.

I am sure your walks help!  Everything I have read said it does and I am sure it also helps with all this stress.  I am trying to get myself worked into going on walks and am having a hard time.

I am scared too.  I keep telling reminding myself of all the brave women that have been through it and we will make it too.  I am trying to be positive. 

Mattscot,

Let me know how your appts go.  I had my first chemo treatment last Friday and my next is thsi Thursday. I researched and researched and am a little relieved to have started a plan.  Hope all goes well for you!