chipdog3

Wishing you well, you have answered every post I've ever written. I wish if there was a pain fairy she would come and take all yours away and leave you something very special in its place. Since its your fairy you can pick the something special. I hope your pain fairy shows up soon. Hugs and well wishes. Sandy

Saw doc today he said mom is good lungs and heart sound good. Will see onc next tuesday. So I guess for now all is well. thanks, Sandy

That is what I was worried about yesterday she has had congestive heartfailure before and does take lasix daily. But she really does look pretty swollen in her arms and legs. And trust me everything scares me. I am afraid every ache and pain is a sign of something more. Which is probably why I dont have any credibility with my mom. I am going to send my daughter in to see if she can get any more infor when she gets up. She is 17.  Sandy

Help my mom started xeloda on monday 1 pill am 1 pill pm. Right now she is crying and holding her arms saying they hurt so bad does anyone know if this is okay. I cannot call the onc till monday and I worry alot. Since she had her stress test she has been complaining about arm pain but now she is crying. How do I help? Also she said she ;has gained 5 pounds since yesterday. I am worried about her heart. Help calm my fears if you can. Sandy

We live in Toledo, quite a long drive from cincinatti, but thanks for the offer. I don't really think its depression since it is somewhat the way she has always been. I guess I just feel an urgency for her to do all the things she wants to do before time runs out. As for going out side she usually uses her electric wheel chair when she goes outside to read and it would be hard for her to get up off a swing. But the image was very relaxing. I wonder if the side effects out way the treatment. The docs dont seem to think there is much to do to help her and I wonder if the small amount of xeloda is worth the side affects. Dont get me wrong I am so proud that she is willing to fight. I am unsure if I would be brave enough to try. It seems like people alot smaller than my mom are taking alot more medicine. Oh well we see the onc nurse in 2 weeks then the dr. in 3 more weeks. How do they tell if the xeloda is working?  do they do more bloodwork or other tests? I guess they will let her know. I am trying to let go of the fact that I cannot fix this. So I hope I will be more help and less henderence.   Sandy

Mom started her xeloda on tuesday. Since then everday when I get home she is lying in bed reading. I have offered to get her something to eat but she says she already ate. She does have some food in her apartment type room and a microwave and fridge. But I never see any dirty dishes. Now she has lived here for over 5 years and so I usually know the signs of what she has been doing pretty easily. The kids have been getting her take out for lunch. I know the meds may  be making her not feel well, but I worry. I have asked if she is okay and she just keeps saying I don't think i'm sick. Since my step dad died 3 years ago she has only left that little apartment type room about once a month. It is attached to our home and I go talk to her like 20 times a day. The kids and my husband also check on her and just talk with her. Since the diagnosis of bc and lung mets she was of course leaving the room more often to go from doc to doc and test to test. But now she is back to just sitting in front of the computer or laying in bed reading a book. I had hoped that if anything "good" could come from this that maybe it would inspire her to get out more and live the 12 months she has left. She won't allow me to tell anyone she is ill so no one calls to check or her or just to chat. She has always been a loner and never really has had many friends and any friends she did have she has lost contact with since living in florda for 7 years then moving back to ohio 5 years ago. I ask her everyday if she wants to go and do anything, usually she is not even dressed all day so pushing her out the door is not an option. I also care for her mom who lives in a retirement apartment at age 89 and doesn't drive anymore. I take her to all Dr. appts. I take her to the grocery store every saturday. I do her laundry, banking and whatever else she needs to do that she doesn't do at her senior appartment. She plays cards 3 days a week, bingo, pokeno, and bunco. She also holds a card party in her apartment for a group of friends every 4th friday. They have pot lucks and partys and she seems content to me. I asked my mother on several occasions if she wanted to live someplace like this and she got so pissed off at me I will never ask again. I have offered to take her to a senior center to play cards which she loves to do, she says she can play the same games on computer. I guess I don't really have a question as much as I just wondered if there is anyway I can motivate my mom to at least enjoy the little bit of life she has left.          Sandy

Well my mom saw a second onc last week. We quit seeing the first one cause all he would do was send her from surgeon to surgeon. all of whom would not do surgery. A little background about 2 months ago she was diagnosed with bc then lung mets or so we are told. This onc actually examined my mom to feel and see the bc lump for himself. He actually talked to her like a real person and asked what she wanted from him. After he talked with her at length about her expectations, thoughts and feelings. He left the room to view her films and  test results that we have been collecting for the last 2 months. He came in and told her she had  triple negative something or other. Which I gathered from him continuing talking is about as bad as it gets. He also said he was 90 % sure the lung spot was mets from the bc.He kinda said that the treatments available were not really going to help. He did offer to put her xeloda and see if it helps. We go back to see the nurse in 3 weeks then see the doc on 3 more weeks. At least  we finally got some answers as to what we are dealing with. Does anyone know if the xeloda will help her live longer or does it only help with the actual  tumor growth. I am afraid for her to take the meds. I am afraid to take antibiotics because of the side affects. So even having the chemo meds in the house scares me to death. I hope I will not be afraid to touch her for fear some of the meds will somehow get into my system. (I know I need therapy even to think such a thing but I do.) Anyway, I just had to get this out. I am not allowed to tell anyone we know she is ill and sometimes it drives me nuts to be able to share it with somone. Thanks for listening. Sandy

Thank you all for all of the information and thoughts and prayers.  Sandy

My mom was scheduled for mastectomy on sept. 9th. Wed. the surgeon called and wanted her to come in for appt. He said because of the mets to the lung she would no longer be a candidate for the bc surgery. I guess when she kept saying say she wasnt going to have surgery she was right. He did recommend a new onc to see if she is a candidate for chemo or radiation. Wow i thought she was just thinking about not treating but it sounds like that might be her only choice. Its amazing how fast it goes from we can save your life to ummmmm we will see what happens. So i guess we are just on pause until we see the new onc. The only reason she agreed to see the new onc is it is a woman. Well I just wanted to vent a little. Mom said I should feel better now because she doesnt need surgery I am not sure if she understands the alternative. I am more worried now with the possibilty of no treatment available. I guess she was really scared of the surgery. Anyway thanks for listening.   Sandy

My mom is 66 she had a lung biopsy 2 weeks ago. it is like the other posters say. My mom actually hated the ct scan more because it was uncomfortable to keep her arms above her head. She said the worst part of the lung biopsy was laying on her stomach because of the location of the tumor. It really does take all day but the procedure it self took like half and hour. She did not have any collapsing of her lung and has been fine since. good luck and hang in there.  Sandy