cuteminnieme69

om goodness, are we married to the same guy lol.  Mine is supportive but i have had mood swings, "im not allowed to have" you know "there is no reason to worry or be upset or cry", and if i do, im being "negative and a pessimist"  I love him dearly and to be honest I know this is just his way of dealing with it.  See a man usually lets the woman worry about everything, like bills, kids being sick, b-days and what to get, grocery shopping, etc.... but when it's the women who is the one who needs the help, they feel lost, like om goodness i need to be her support and i dont know how.  So i "think" they are just lost and wish we were still as strong as ever and can handle this like everything else.  On the other hand we are "thrown for a loop" because we are the ones who are used to being the strong one and now we are scared that we can't do it.  It is a lot of mixed emotions and the harder we try to be "the strong one" and "pretend" everything is okay, the more mixed up we get.  Go find a quiet spot, cry till you cant cry no more(it feels good), stick with the support you will find here, and hopefully your hubby will begin to "deal" with it and become supportive.  He sounds just as scared as you, but doesnt know how to handle it because, he has never had to handle BIG SCARY things.

God bless you, prayers and hugs

Mary

Adele,  When I first noticed my lump 2 1/2 years ago, it caused Mastitice (not sure I spelled that correctly) the surgeon did a ultrasound and it showed a "mass".  At the time of the core biopsy, my breast was literally 5 times its normal size.  The surgeon took 3 core biopsy's from the breast, but no where around the "original lump".  I didn't ask why at the time, I thought he knew what he was doing. He put me on antibiotics for the mastitice and sent me on my way.  Nothing showed up in the core biopsy, (why would it if he didn't hit the tumor)  He never ordered a mamogram because "i was only 36 and too young to be worried about anything"  The lump never went away and inspite of my constant asking my gyno about it, I was told that if the core biopsy showed nothing then it was a "fibrous cyst" and again "too young for cancer".  Although cancer runs in my family and the dr's were aware of this.  About 2 months ago, my breast began to leak a sticky, yucky substance and the lump started getting bigger, I dismissed this again after hearing one more time that it was probably fibrous.  3 weeks ago the lump became so noticeable you could see the abnormality and breast was leaking bad.  I scheduled an apt. with different surgeon.  All in the same day she did physical exam, mamo, ultrasound and had the radiologist read and give her the reports that day.  she had me stay in the office until we got the results, and of course the mamo showed large reason for concern.  3 days later i had my 1st lumpectomy and got  the news that it was cancer.  I still have 2 more surgeries to face before I find out what stage this is, I need another lumpectomy or masectomy whichever i choose.  the cancer is an "aggressive" cancer with 10/10 cells dividing and reproducing.  The bottom line is YOU KNOW YOUR BODY, listen to what your heart tells you, make the dr's listen. and until the last test is done, don't be satisfied.  It is better to be safe than sorry.  I almost did not go to this apt. because I didn't want to hear another dr. tell me i should not worry i am too young, I felt stupid.  Well now I am probably looking at stage 4 cancer, wish i would have insisted on more test sooner.  Have the incision biopsy.

God bless you,

Mary

Hello,

Just another diagnosed lady of 39 years old with 5 kids.  I say "you gotta laugh" because if I don't keep my sense of humor about me I am going to go off the deep end.

Just a quicky note of this last year.  I was a cop for 7 years and because of a apprehension of burglary suspect that went horribly wrong,  I now have 6 herniated disk from my neck through to my lower back,  Two days after my birthday last year in June, my husband of 12 years told me he was in love with someone else ( we made it through this with counseling but it was very hard), I also had surgery to repair one disk, surgery for gallbladder, and upper and lower GI test.  I was unemployed for 8 months due to layoff, and so broke I don't know where the next meal is coming from.  Tornado went close to my house and did just enough damage to need repairs, but not enough to claim because deductable is too high.  Many things have happened financially this year to take us from having a home to we will be losing it soon.  I just about want to cry and never stop.  Then 1 1/2 weeks ago I was diagnosed w/cancer and all the above became "not so bad".

My husband went to an appointment with me 2 days ago, and we were given results of four different test of the tumor they removed.  I'm the lucky winner of an "aggressive cancer" that is spreading at a fast rate, I have the hormone receptors that are "feeding the cancer", so I get to go through menopause at 39.  Because my mom has had ovarian cancer and grandma had cervical cancer and now i have breast cancer, I now have increased my chances for ovarian cancer from 8% to 85%, and if I have this gene, my girls will more than likely develop breast cancer.  I have had lumpectomy already and now gotta go have more removed along with my lympnoids to get the "stage"  As we were getting all this "wonderful" news and cracking jokes instead of just "cracking" my hubby leans over and with a pen writes on my leg "you gotta laugh".  This has stuck with me.  I want to cry, but what good does that do.  I am ready to tackle this like all the other challenges in my life with full force.  I have the best support in the world "God". In Him all things are possible.  I have a loving family, but I feel like "a problem" to them, not that they think that, I just do.  I am so independant it is hard to lean on others.  I am the one who is usually there for everybody else, but if truth be known "i am scared!!!!!"

Thanks for listening

and keep on smiling

Mary