Profile for Lostris

Member Since: August 28, 2008
Last Login: September 2, 2008
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Biography

Diagnosis

Recent Posts by Lostris

Posted in: Connecting With Others Who Have a Similar Diagnosis + Palliative Therapy/Hospice Care, Created: Sep 2, 2008 10:22 am

I need help dealing..

Thank you guys for all the warm responses and gentle advice. I think I may start looking around for a grief counselor to help me deal with my emotions. I was never very good at expressing my emotions when I was younger. Now, in my adulthood, I've been working on that, but I can see now that I still have more work to do.

Thank you all again for helping a lost stranger :)

Posted in: Support & Community Connections + For Family & Friends of Those Who Have Breast Cancer, Created: Aug 28, 2008 04:35 pm

Venting...

I'm truely sorry for your loss.. my own mother died April 19th from breast cancer. It started in one breast, moved to the other, then moved to her liver as well all in a period of 6 years. I know that at this point, you probably do not want to hear what other people think. I know I didn't. Everyone at my mother's funeral told me what I SHOULD think about and feel. I want to tell you it's ok to feel what you want to feel at this point. However, I think it's so lovely your mom had the foresight to make blankets for your future kids and THEY are lucky to have had such a wonderful grandmother who was looking out for them even before they were born. My condolences to you, truely.

Posted in: Connecting With Others Who Have a Similar Diagnosis + Palliative Therapy/Hospice Care, Created: Aug 28, 2008 01:46 pm

I need help dealing..

My mom died at the age of 61 from breast cancer April, 19th 2008. I am 28 years old and haven't been married yet and I don't have any children.
It's only been almost 5 months, but it feels like I've aged 5 years. The grief is getting worse instead of getting better. I think the numbness is starting to wear off and I just feel so raw. I feel angry and depressed and lost. My grief comes out in so many stupid ways because I can't control when it comes on. Somedays, I'll be fine and other days like the last 3 days, I cry on the drive to work, I cry at my desk, I cry in bed at night.
My poor boyfriend tried to kiss me while I was leaving for work today (running late) and I shoved him aside telling him that I didnt have the time. I always had the time for him. He tries so hard to be there for me, but all he can do is listen. But he doesn't know how it feels so he gives me lame advice and I just end up getting irritated. I know I shouldn't be angry at him for having two healthy parents who are still happy and married. I just cant help feeling jealous and pissed because he takes them for granted. It also angers me that if we marry and have kids, I won't have my mom there to witness any of that! My future kids will never know how great she was.
I feel isolated and bitter. I tried so hard to "prepare" myself for her death. I wasn't even close to being prepared. I feel like this feeling will never go away and I just need somebody to relate to.