KAK

Oh, Pam!   Good grief, I don't know what to say.  This is all just too much.  Why does all this crap keep happening to you?   The TEE sounds like a nightmare.  When will you know about heart surgery?  Oh, gawd, you must absolutely be beside yourself.  I hope you are getting lots of love & support at home.  You know you have lots of both here.   Kathi

Susan, I'd be scared too.  My aunt had ovarian cancer -- and survived!  Let us know when you hear the results.  Kathi

Hi, all you fire-y women!  I've been in a bit of a funk this last week so haven't posted here.  {Gee, Kathi, what could you possibly be in a funk about, pray tell??}

Towhee, yes.  What you say is so true for me, too.  I just don't quite know who I am supposed to be now & don't seem to know how to assemble all these disparate parts into a whole.  I'm doing it in spite of myself, it seems, & I guess I'm trying to figure out how the old reliable me is supposed to behave with this new me who has had breast cancer.  It's such a weird feeling.  I think for the first time in my life, I really understand what it means to say I feel like "I'm beside myself."

l also just wanted to say that I am a writer & editor & have had experiencing writing for publication.  If I can get out of my own way one of these days, perhaps I can throw out a few ideas for us to brainstorm about, vis a vis getting the word out there about what BC is really like.

I have a website for my artwork with some blog pages I started when I got diagnosed.  The pages need desperately to be updated, which I'm hoping to get to this weekend.  I got so knackered during rads that I haven't kept up with it since the end of September.  But here's the link if anyone's interested & beware of my twisted sense of humor!!  When I update it, there is going to be even more of the DARK side....

www.kksphotos.com/blog.html

Kathi

Tina, I love your new shades.  And BTW, they  remind me of those worn by another Tina I like, namely Tina Fey.

EWB, if you haven't already looked into them, this link bears repeating; free stuff & some good advice for BC-ers; see if there's one coming around where you live:

http://www.lookgoodfeelbetter.org/

Dotti, love that cape!

Ladies, I found some great links to help me figure out how to wear my new tablecloth!!  Can we say "Sarong"??   If you scroll down, the first video is awesome!

http://www.squidoo.com/tie-a-sarong

Also found this site, on a related note.  Wrong time of year for these, but they look very fun & are quite inexpensive:  http://www.magicwrapskirts.citymax.com/Medium_Magic_Wrap_Skirts.html

Wow, Lefty, chemo SE's sound just lovely.  Nails falling out & chin hair coming in. . . all you need now is to paint your face green & you can be the Wicked Witch of the West!  LOL

gsg, I think you demonstrate remarkable maturity to allow other women to fawn all over your DH & not get bent outta shape about it.  I hope he appreciates that about you.

Dream, I recently discovered that here in RI, the Gloria Gemma Breast Cancer Foundation, a local organization, has pink collection bins all over the place for old clothes & shoes.  Talk about motivation to clean out the drawers & closets!  And there's one just down the street from me.  I get to toss a bunch of crap & help support local women with BC at the same time.  A win-win.  However, that does not mean that I have actually gotten off my derriere & done anything about it.

Wish, tell me there's something about living in MI that redeems putting up with snow for half the year...

Kathi

Tracy, welcome, have a great vacation & good for you for participating in a clinical trial.  I think that's great.  I tried to get into a couple because I believe in supporting research but so far haven't been qualified or the timing is wrong, etc., etc.

My PCP had me take three days to taper down off the Zoloft, then had me do a week on a small dose of Effexor & the next week on 75mg of it, which is the smallest therapeutic dose.  I felt the ol' depressive paralysis coming back tho' by the end of last week, so they told me I could double the Effexor.  I understand that 150mg is more the usual dose anyway.

Nancy, I've noticed more of my ol' arthritis kicking up lately, too, so much so that my hips & back were waking me up at night.  I'm not sure what to attribute it to either, although I'm inclined to agree with you that it's more weather related & also due to my trying to take longer & longer walks with the dog.  So, finally, I went back to our old remedy of Tylenol PM last night & felt good.  Would have slept the whole night through except my dog woke me up at 3AM to go out because he had diarrhea from eating some of mom's leftover cheese sandwich!!

Oh, Shari & Makraz, you poor girls!  Menopause has its virtues, that's for sure! 

I have noticed some vaginal discharge, very light, nothing earth-shattering, and I read that this is a common SE with Tamoxifen.  Otherwise, I've been fine.  Maybe a few more hot flashes, but then again, it's that time of year when I don't know how to dress.  So, I start out with a sweater on because the morning is cold, but then when I'm inside, I'm too hot in a sweater, so have to take it off.  Layers are the answer, I guess!

Kathi

Welcome, ripple, and I must say it's awful what you have had to go through, but inspiring that you can say you are hopeful.  Maybe you are actually the Bionic Woman & just don't realize it!!  Best of luck to you.

Omaha, you're on.  A friend of mine did the LI vineyard tour recently & said it was glorious!

Meanwhile, my switch from zoloft to Effexor due to starting tamoxifen has not been with its bumps.  After 3 weeks of the 75mg of Effexor, I started feeling the depression blah's coming on, so my pcp said I can double the dose.  Hopefully that will kick in fairly soon.  I know you have to wait for these SSRI's & SSNRI's to kick in, but I'm not interested in feeling worse in the meantime!  Like I don't already have a few things to feel depressed about  --  like having cancer, for example!

At least I'm a cheerful depressive, if that makes any sense......been dealing with it a long time.  It's a family disease & at least I've had it easier than my parents did, who basically had to grin & bare it because there wasn't much good out there for depression until the last few decades.

Hope everyone is hanging in there.

Kathi

OMG!!!   I am LMAO!   You girls are too much!  Tina, I'm definitely going to have to try knitting again.  I think the last thing I knitted was a scarf for a Barbie doll, but this might just motivate me enough to get the hang of knitting this time!

Oh, Bar, isn't it unbelievable when as a clinician, you have to put up with dopey, idiotic, uncaring clinicians who are supposed to be looking out for you?  Good grief, girl.

Hey, everyone, I had a follow up visit with my surgeon today, who hugged me & recommended an interesting book that her husband gave her for her birthday called This Is Not the Life I Ordered.  Says it all, doesn't it??  She also gave me a script for boobie massage if I get frustrated with doing my own boob myself.  And I don't have to get my next mamm till February, so I have a little more time to try to soften it up.

From another thread, I followed a suggestion for a good skin lotion & got some Palmer's Stretch Mark Lotion.  It's a great massage lotion.  It has a good texture, not too thick, not too slippery, so I can really get at the scar tissue firmly with the massage.  And the poor boob is finally starting to soften up, so I have some hope that I can survive my first post-dx mamm.

Sara, good  luck to you with surgery. 

Bar, I hope you get to drop that doctor & his entire crew like the whale doo-doo they are just as soon as possible.

OmahaGirl, maybe you can get an early Christmas present & get a script from your doc so some kind PT can do some scar & adhesion-freeing massage before you get your next mamm.  You're welcome to come to RI & I'll work on you myself!!  Or maybe I can get a ferry to LI & you can drive me around to the vineyards as a swop for massage!  I haven't even gotten to the part of this whole issue where I start worrying about the next mamm finding something else!  Oh, gawd.....

Kathi