Carol_D

My hair came in curly (or wavy) but it was inconsistent and it didn't last. I had very stick straight hair and it's back to being straight now. I'm over 2 years out of chemo so go figure. I even permed my hair a few months ago to try to get more body in it. Now I'm toying with cutting it short again (and straight) because it's dry and fried and because my boyfriend keeps pushing the "cut it short" idea. I guess he likes short hair.

Most people I've talked to say the curls don't last, though I wish mine had lasted a little bit longer! It was nice to have wavy bodiful hair for just a little while.

Greenjeans, just as everyone has said, you are at the worst part of all of this, the diagnosis and treatment stage... it's very scary but if you treat it appropriately there is no reason to think that you will be anything but fine in the end. I know it's hard to reconcile the fact that you have been diagnosed with this awful diseae but I am almost 3 years out (DCIS with IDC) and no sign of anything ominous and honestly there are days when I don't worry about BC at all! Truth! Channel your energy into something positive if at all possible. There IS life after BC and I'm living proof, as are many ladies here on this board. Have faith that time will mitigate your worries and anxieties about this. Being a member of BC.org doesn't define you; you are who you are aside from all of this. Take care.

I had a 3mm IDC and 7mm DCIS at the same time, but it was all in the same area. I opted for mastectomy because all I could think about was survival. In hindsight, I might have been better off with lumpectomy. Make sure you're thinking clearly before you make such a big decision. Good luck.

Hi 37,

Wow, it is great to meet you, although I wish it could be under other circumstances.

I will never know what stage I truly was because after my surgery they "couldn't find any lymph nodes." My tumor was 7mm DCIS and 3mm IDC so they decided that the odds of me having positive nodes wasn't worth the risk of going through more surgery. Easy for them to say. I will never know!

I call myself Stage 1 but it's a presumed Stage 1. I had bilateral masts and I'm almost 3 years out so I keep my fingers crossed. I have met only one other survivor in this same boat (besides you).

I elected to have chemo, 4 A/C, mainly due to not knowing my node status. Of course, cancer can travel in other ways, as you've found out.

Good luck to you; I hope you find some peace in this.

It's a money thing. Dramas and comedies and shows with scripts and professional actors cost a lot more $$ to produce, compared to "reality" shows. I think the reality show may lose its luster eventually; tv seems to go in fads. Remember variety shows? Those went out of vogue. Remember the "nighttime soaps" like Dynasty and Dallas? Sitcoms have gone in and out of fashion. Wait long enough and things will change.

I do like shows like Law and Order and Boston Legal. The drama is well written and the storylines are inventive. So there is still good programming out there; you just have to be selective.

Darya, it's true most people's health insurance seems to come from their employers. It's a benefit that most employers have to bear to hire and retain good workers. I don't know how our wages compare to yours but I'm guessing the cost of health insurance may keep ours lower.

I quit my job 17 mos. ago to return to school. I had the option of keeping my health insurance, but I had to pay for it. It's almost $400 a month. You can only be insured for 18 months this way so my health insurance is about to expire and it's a source of great anxiety for me. I have applied to a state-sponsored health insurance plan that's for low-income adults who don't qualify for other coverage (because I've been turned down by other insurance companies due to my medical history). I had to fill out a bunch of paperwork, get a copy of my birth certificate, go down to the "human services" department office (basically welfare) during work hours, etc. I got a letter back that they need more information before they can decide. I provided everything they asked for so now I guess I'm in the "send more" papers phase while they hope I give up.

While I don't know if socialized medicine is the answer, clearly our current plan is not working for everyone.

Yes I was always an A cup and now I'm a B. I like having more there to fill out clothing, which I could never really do before. No cleavage; there is a wide valley between them, but I'm not complaining.

You may not be able to feel it, but they can never truly get 100% of the breast tissue out.

My heart goes out to you. You're understandably devastated, overwhelmed, blindsided. This is not fair!

I know you're afraid of chemo, but you can do it. I went through chemo for a very small invasive tumor (my choice) and while it wasn't easy, it's not like the old days when people got horribly sick. The drugs they have are very effective. I think I only threw up once in 4 treatments. Losing your hair is a trauma, I agree. For me, I think it was the worst part. But I am a little over 2 years out and my hair is back, long, thicker than before, and a pain in the a$$ sometimes! Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to have it. But believe it or not, there are times when I fondly recall how lovely and easy life was without hair. I hope you can see the silver lining in this very difficult situation.

What's more important is your health. I, too, had family over 1000 miles away, so I was terrified of how I would get through it. And I had two 9 year olds to take care of too. You'll be amazed at how wonderfully the people who value you step up to the plate and help you out. I had wonderful friends who went above and beyond to hold fundraisers, run errands, provide emotional support -- and I bet you will too.

I am soooo sorry this is happening to you. I don't know how old you are, but you look way too young to be going through this mess -- again! I'm thinking of you and hoping for the best. Please keep us posted.

I'm going to Las Vegas in July, but that's probably not a place you'd want to take kids that age, although Hoover Dam nearby is fascinating. After that I'm taking my kids (two 12-year olds) on a trip to visit the family, in Indiana. Not very exciting for most people, but it's wonderful to re-connect with family. Do you have family somewhere that would be nice to visit? One year I went to Ohiopyle state park in Pennsylvania, where they have camping, white-water rafting, and Frank Lloyd Wright's "Falling Water" house you can visit. Estes Park in Colorado, in the Rocky Mountains, is beautiful and I think there is rafting on the Colorado river there, too. What about Cedar Crest north of you? There is the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, if your kids like rock music. Chicago has fantastic museums (the Field Museum of natural history and the Science and Industry Museum) and also a wonderful historic aquarium. It's a beautiful city. San Antonio is a good vacation destination, with the River Walk, Sea World, Six Flags, the Alamo, and a world-class water park in New Braunfels up north of there called the Schlitterbahn. Another idea is Mount Rushmore, maybe on your way out west to see Yellowstone park? Like someone else said, there are so many fabulous travel destinations all over the country. I am not that well-traveled but I've enjoyed all these places. And, I have always wanted to take my kids to New York City sometime to see the Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, etc. I guess you might want to throw some different ideas out there (city, country, camping, roughing it, luxury, etc.) and see what excites the kids the most, and then go from there. Good luck!