Topic: please help

Honey, don't be too upset at the time lag.  Most breast cancers when large enough to be found by any means are 8 to 12 years old.  Not that it is good to have long waits, but this time you speak of should not affect your outcome at all.

Trust me, we were all completely knocked off our feet when first diagnosed.  It is horrible.  But it does get better and will get a lot better in time. 

Come here often, there is nothing that you can't discuss with the wonderful gals on this site, seen it all, heard it all, and there are lots of good ideas and comfort to be found here.

Gentle hugs, Shirlann 

Hello Sueps,

I am sorry to hear your biopsy revealed breast cancer last Monday. The women and men here on this forum will offer you much help as you undergo surgery and other treatment as necessary.

Do you know why your surgeon is proceeding to mastectomy? Has he or she informed you about lumpectomy and sentinel node testing (the first node in the lymph node chain often identified as either negative or positive)? Are you going to your visits alone or with a family member, so another may also hear what your surgeon is saying? Maybe you wish to set up another surgeon visit to review your plan with him or her again.

Regrettably, most breast cancer are present for many months/years before typically being diagnosed, so in light of this, it is not uncommon for surgery to be set up two to three weeks hence. It all varies, and depends on the surgeon and the hospital. Perhaps you could ask your surgeon to put you on standby in the event a hospital time slot opens; sometimes Saturday mornings are options. It is so hard to wait four weeks, and no one wishes this for you, yet sometimes it's the best the system offers.

Intermediate grade means that under the microscope, the pathologist feels the cells look medium in their change from normal breast ductal cells. This category falls between low grade, where the cells are called well differentiated and most resemble normal breast ductal cells, and high grade where the cells are more different from the normal ductal cells. So, you fall right in the middle, where many of us do.

It will help you some to find out if your cancer carries estrogen and/or progesterone receptors. That will give all an idea whether hormones will be part of your treatment plan. They can run this test on your biopsy material.

If your surgeon is not a great communicator, and you and your family have questions, why not go for a second opinion from a second breast cancer surgeon? You need to have a clear understanding why a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy isn't the first step.

Others will soon respond also. I'll be thinking of you during the next weeks, remembering all to well the fear associated with my own breast cancer diagnosis. I did not have the benefit of this board, so good on you for finding it so soon.
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I am having a mastectomy and all the nodes out because the invasion is bad and the lump relatively big in comparison to me...I am small breasted. He said it was due to my family history and the invasive and that if I had lump out I would inevitably come back.I am in the uk and if I went for 2nd opinion it would take just as long

Honey, with a mastectomy, don't worry too much about a second opinion.  They are always nice, but in your case, not essential.  You know you want the whole thing off and you are right, with a small breast, you would essentially get a mast anyway.

Don't feel so hopeless, just get over that, you are going to be fine and will be here with us for the next few years, helping other gals get well. 

I am 8 & 1/2 years post diagnosis and doing fine, there are thousands of gals who have had treatment and are living their lives in perfect health.

I suspect that your doc and you are having trouble with the node issue.  All of our bodies, all the "flesh" areas have lymph nodes.  What they do is the surgeon grabs a hunk of flesh under your arm and puts it in a jar.  That is the end of his job, he has no way under the sun of knowing if he got "all" the nodes, no one does, and it doesn't matter.  Then, the jar is given to the pathologist.  He pokes around, finds a few lymph nodes, and dissects them, looking for cancer cells.  Now, we all hope and pray for "no nodes", but, remember, lymph nodes are designed to be the bodies first defense against invasion, by anything, infection, cancer, etc.  So if a few are positive, then the body simply did what it was supposed to do, stopped the cancer from moving on.  Don't stress too much over this.  Many, many of our long term survivors have had lymph node involvement.

Come and post often, you are in a huge sisterhood and you are loved and cared for.

Gentle hugs, Shirlann

Thankyou Shirlann I am crying now...I would much rather have BC without any family history ...I am 38 and its so obvious..my mum was 38 and when they get the results on 19th Ocotber that will be 20 years to the day my mum passed away.

I just feel what is the point of doing anything and fighting if I have such a faulty gene. I have envisaged and been running from the thoughts of this for years xxx

I cant call my surgeon,I am in the UK and I am under the NHS , I have told hin absolutely everything yday...the meeting was very short and sharp, they have such an overload.

I have got some diazepam...maybe I will take one....I just cannot live with this thing that is inside me...my breast lump has been sore for weeks...

 Thanx to you all for your support. It is obviously genetic so what good would any treatment do ...do you understand where I am coming from.... I guess its the aftermath.

I so dont want to leave my boys they are my life and I am theirs.We are as one.... I cant let them down

Sueps...You need to be aware that there are so many women on these boards who are your same age and younger (one of our most active posters, BethNY, was 26 at diagnosis and had bilateral mastectomies with beautiful reconstruction) and, also, that many, many, carry the gene that predisposes them to breast and/or ovarian cancer. These women, in so many cases, are free of disease today and thriving. Of course, they are extra vigilant too, but that goes with our diagnoses. Anyway, you just need to see that you are SO NOT ALONE and we are here 24/7 for you. Many of us used these boards to get through and you should do likewise.

Finally, I'd also like to point out that 20 years ago, in breast cancer land, is like a century ago. You will have access to all of the treatments that your mother wasn't able to receive. I'm sorry that she had to give her life to this awful disease, but you don't have to. You can fight it by getting the best, most aggressive treatments possible and then be around to see your grandchildren NOT have to suffer with it too because by then (I certainly hope!), we will have a cure.

Hang in there, girl. It feels like the worst thing in the world right now but, seriously, it isn't, and you'll come to know that like we have.

~Marin

Sueps,

Everyone's been giving you great advice. I was first diagnosed at age 32 with small children. My lump was also very sore. I have a genetic link. I also remember family members dying from this disease. It is different now. It's 12 years later and I'm still hear now taunting my teenagers and even celebrating one who's turning 21.

There is hope. I've also had bilateral mastectomy, 28 lymphnodes removed and a complete hysterectomy, chemo. So I'm missing a few body parts. I'm still here. Think positive thoughts as those can be a large part of healing. Treatments can work on even those with a genetic link! If you are worried about it already spreading, my surgeon ordered a petscan before my surgery to see. Maybe that could be done before your surgery date to give you piece of mind.

If your thoughts go so dark....immediately go to the hospital..... This is something that happened to your health. You are not letting anyone down.

Sharon

Sueps,

First, you are no burden to me or we here. I have sought solace here myself, and this is what I have learned we do best: give support.

Second, may I say that perhaps you feel if it genetic, meaning you are carrying the BRCA gene, that you are doomed. This is not true! Many women and men who have this predisposition, once diagnosed, obtain treatment, just like you will and go on and do very well, living along side of their children which you will. The gene makes breast cancer more likely, yet does not make all treatments less effective. Do you understand what I'm trying to say? You're adding your generational outcomes together and seeing the dark side. You are different from your Mom and Grandmother, and surgery, diagnosis and treatment has vastly changed over the last decades. Your family doctor sounds on board, and may better explain this to you than I miles away; plus you need an arm around your shoulder.

After this surgery, your doctors will be in a better place to advise you about any genetic effect and recommendations. No, this does not mean your ovaries are involved automatically. Being good doctors, they will offer you advice on them.

Women and men who carry the BRCA gene, in sum, Sueps, are treated with the same surgeries, drugs for their cancer as non-genetic breast cancer. Your other breast, your ovaries, they will be addressed by your doctors in short time. But first, you have to realize you may not even carry the BRCA gene; there is that chance. And if you do, it truly does not mean your ovaries or other breast are involved now, at this moment precise moment. Your U.K. doctors will help you, given your history, just as our U.S. doctors help us.

Remember, you're no burden. We want to see you be with your boys too.

Tender

thx to each and everyone of you x

Well, Sueps, do I hear a touch of humour there? Niiiiice! You're gonna make it, girl! Keep coming back....we're here to help (and yes, one day you'll be doing the same for others)!

~Marin

Sue, It sounds to me like you have something else going on besides your diagnosis. That's hard for anyone - but I wonder if you might have a cold or strep throat or something else? I know when I'm sick everything else is so much harder to deal with. I hope you get a good night's sleep and feel better in the morning.

You can fight this BC! Treatments have improved by light years since your poor mother went through this! There is so much for all of us, and there is a lot they can do preventatively if you do carry the BRCA gene. Maybe you'll want to ask about a double mastectomy? 

Take care, and come here when you're feeling down. 

Barb 

Sueps,

Swear and curse your breast lumps while you drive, while you walk, while you're taking a shower......it's all normal to us!

I like the the sense of humor. That will take you a long way. Some people have named their tumors.....like the country song by the Dixie Chicks....Earl's gotta die(the tumor that is)!

Sharon

Good morning, Sue. I only had a CAT scan before I started radiation, so I'm not really sure what all it can see. It sounds like you have a lot of questions that would be good for your doctor. Maybe you should start a list , so you won't forget to ask when you're there.  I hope you have a better day today.

Barb