Topic: WHAT NEXT?

Okay Im feeling a little calmer now that I took my meds. i am just so scared and confused these days and it seems like it all hit me like a huge ton of bricks. When I was dx four years ago it had hit me like a ton of bricks and out of no where so I did what I thought that I was supposed to do, I was a single mom raising four kids so I went throught treatment and kept on going, I even stayed at my job when they ignored all restrictions because I didn't think I had a choice-I needed the money. So now here I am almost four years later and finally decide to go in because my implant is hard, painful and down right making me very self concious-and what I thought would be a quick fix (take implant out and put in a new one) has trned into starting back at square one with reconstruction becasue I have waited so long and to top that off even more I have developed severe plantar fasctis from being on my feet for hours upon hours at work. I hae finally reached my boiling point and feel like the last four years have finally caught up to me and I am terrified and think I am losing my mind-is this possible could it take this long for it all to finally hit me? Im tired of doing the things that cause me pain, peple around me seem to be so uncaring which makes this all so much more harder to deal with. Has anyone experienced anything like this ever before and if you did how the heck did you get yourself out of this rut?

Easy, easy....we ebb and flow around here and sometimes it takes awhile to get a reply when other times you get a response within seconds. 

It sounds to me like you have post traumatic stress disorder. Sometimes it hits right after treatment and sometimes it takes years for it to come on. Have you seen a councelor about your bc?  You might want to check into a few sessions to see if they can help you get through it.

I don't have any ideas regarding the job situation.  Maybe a career councelor?  I know it's hard to make a career switch...but you may have to do it in order to get off your feet.

Take care,

Bugs

Sometimes I do feel really alone.  I had chemo first, surgery (double mastectomy) then radiation and finished up in September 07.  But it doesn't stop there.  Everyone seems to think it does, and I hardly confide in anyone anymore because of their reactions--even my family.

I just started tamoxifen after trying three other drugs that I could not tollerate, and the hot flashes are bad.  Headaches too.

I feel like I am constantly battling something--just got over a bacterial infection.  I would just like a  normal routine again.  Since this started in November 2006, I have been to a doctor every month but two.

And I know I do feel sory for myself sometimes.  I just want a break.  I went to one support group meeting but their times just don't fit with mine.

Thank you so much for responding ladies, I guess I had what we call a horrible morning. I did at first try to ignore the fact that there was anything wrong in the beginning when I was first dx and I did all the things that I thought I should do because I was raising my four kids alone. I am calling a number that my onc gave me-he said that if my work were to give me problems call that number and he will have social workers on their butts quicker than they think-I guess the reason i waited to do this is because I thought it would get better but it hasn't and now i know it will only get worse. Also ran into a lady (from town) tonight who believe it or not seems to care about how I am doing and she is furious as to what is happening at my job -she has all the state guidelines for situations like mine so that makes me feel a little better.

Now my foot, since last November I have had foot probs and in December the doctor told me that I have severe plantar fasitis, and tibial tendonitis and she had me on restrictions at work-which they NEVER follwed ( I got smart back then and took a pic of the work calendar so it shows the days that they made me work when I wasn't supposed to) I'm hoping somehow and someway that all this will be to my benefit as the past four years are finally catching up to me and Im just tired of bending over backwards for others (work) You ladies are all right I need to think of myself now and the rest of them can just deal with it.

Once again I am sorry for blowing up this morning-just lots going on and I know if anyone would understand it would be you ladies!!!

Thanks for all the advice, gonna take my calm down meds, kick back and watch American Idol'

Love ya all

lag